Should my boyfriend and I keep our baby or give it up for adoption?

Felix K

remember what the bible said.do not murdered.so girl don"t do that for it is a sin. your child is alway yours

Dee R

well there are many options you can do.
1, keep the baby and do your best, its not age its maturity, love, responsibility, providing and 100% wanting this child.
2. you can give it up for adoption to a home who can provide for the child and love it as much as you and him
3. you can do open adoption where the child will be raised by adoptive parents yet you and your boyfriend can keep in touch as much as you like.

blessings you. only you and your boyfriend know what is best good luck to you

FeatherHead

That's a very hard decision...you need to talk to a professional counselor...you two are very young...

twinsmama06

If you are curious about adoption go talk to a social worker at an agency and look at some profiles and learn your options. You can do an open or closed adoption. See how you feel when you hear how it works and you look at the pictures of couples waiting. There are a lot of great couples waiting. That way when you make your decision you can say you really made the right choice.

Babies are a lot of sleepless nights, hardwork and patience... but lots of love and can be wonderful if you have help. Don't be afraid to ask for help from your parents and in-laws.

I truly believe that no matter what you decide it will be the right decision. You will be strong enough to make the right decision because you are a woman! If you keep the baby or find her a happy home. Just make sure you make the decision for yourself and don't try to make your boyfriend or your parents happy. (your boyfriend will have to agree with adoption and sign away his rights if that is your decision).

Sounds like your parents have already let you know that they will support you no matter what you decide and that is really cool.

Good luck.

superduperskates666

It is really up to you. You have to think about how much work it is being a mother and if your up to the challenge. My sister was your age when she had hers. she kept it and it got too much for her to handle so she let my mom adopt it.

sanveann

First of all, thank you for giving your little one a chance at life :)

As to what to do next ... I think you need to sit down and talk to your boyfriend, your parents and his parents and figure out how, realistically, you're going to manage everything if you decide to raise your baby. How will the two of you finish school? Where will you live? Who will watch the baby while you guys are at work and/or school? How will you afford the things a baby needs (clothes, crib, car seat, etc.)?

Having a baby can be hard, hard work. I'm sure people have told you this, but you don't really realize HOW hard it can be until the baby has been crying for three hours straight and you can't figure out why ... or he's up for the fifth time that night ... or it's 3 a.m. and he has a fever and you don't know what to do. I was 30 when I had my first baby, and sometimes I still felt like I was in way over my head! But I look at my two little boys (2 years old and 2 months old) every day and am just so amazed how in love with them I am! Being a mom is truly like nothing else in the world.

Your baby could be a tremendous blessing to a childless couple, too. But you both have to be 100 percent sure if you go that route. If you change your mind at the last minute, you'll break someone's heart ... and if you change your mind after it's too late, you'll spend the rest of your life regretting that decision.

Remember, what your baby needs most isn't material possessions. If you and your boyfriend and your families can provide a safe, loving environment for your little one, then he will have everything he needs.

Stop the Hate Love instead

It seems you both want to keep the baby and have support from both your parents then you should. Hopefully your boyfriend stands by you. I am sorry to say many guys say this then when the baby does come and true reality has sunk in many jump ship. I am afraid promises can be broken and if your beau decided to jump ship there is not much his mother could do other then continue to support you and her grandchild. He needs to only be worried about supporting the baby. He should not be supporting you finically other then helping with your medical bills, moral support to be good young parents yes but not finically. Itâ€™s not going to be easy for a 16 year to provide financially for a baby let alone having to also support you money wise.

Your boyfriend needs to stay in school you both do. He should also start looking to line up a summer job right now. During the school year he can work weekends and afternoons. You too should line up some sort of job when you can.

There are some good young parents and there are some bad young parents. There are good older parents and bad older parents.

sizesmith

I urge you to make sure that both of you get your higher educations if there's anyway possible. This way, you'll be able to not only support the baby and yourselves, but you'll thrive. As a taxpayer, I'd much rather see you get temporary help and then be able to get good jobs. so you'll never have to return to the system. Good luck!

JennaBear

You love your baby and in in your heart you want to keep it...so you should definitely keep it. A baby needs it's mom, even if you're young. It sounds like you have support from your parents and the father and will only have heartbreak if you give your child away. Women don't recover from giving up their children. It'll be hard of course, but I believe you can do it!

Darth Revan

ok i guess i am going to be the one to say this do what you 2 think is right don't ask other people i am not going to preach to you cause i don't believe in preaching this child is not mine,the other answers,your parents,his parents but your child this can be a hard decision but just do what you think is right.

nice

keep the baby as long as you have the support of your boyfriend and your family congrats...

Pip

You want to keep your baby and you have support so it's the best solution all round and good luck!

Nora

do you think you could keep it.
maybe for a while let your parents take of the baby, while you guys can finish school. or find a nice baby sitter. but make sure you do not forget your studies cuz if you dont graduate and get a job, then you wont have money to spend on your family.
But in every way
Goood luck :)

coleblondehead

Having a child is a big step and abig big commitment, people say well
with love everything will be ok, no you alsohave to be aware of the sacrifices that come along with baby. You need to finish school and
a career if you want a better life for you and your family, is family
willing to help while you finish school, you should finish h.school at
least, things will get better financially if you have some education to
fall back on. I had my child a little older than you are now and I dont
regret keeping her at all but there were situations very difficult and
sacrifices I had to make. My short lived teenhood was kinda over with
no dances, no parties but since I wanted a better life for child, I told
my boyfriend since he had his heart set on going to university to
become a bio engineer, I told him go finish school when youre done
well get married someday, if it happens, it happens if it doesnt it
wasnt means to be, so I finished school with help of parents and
4 yrs later we got married that was 21 yrs ago this march and our
daughter is 24. Sorry if I rambled so much the point is even though you dont think so you will need a lot of support/help from parents, hope theyll be there for you since you are almost a child yourself.

I think that yes, it will be hard but you should most definitely keep it. It will show you responsibility, I have to say that you made a bad mistake in having a baby so young but that is your consequence and you have to deal with it. You have that baby, keep it an love it. Good luck. :)

chickadee

I think you should keep your baby and I'm an adoptive mom. If you have all this love and support, you definitely should keep the baby. I do have some advice though, you need to make a decision on who is going to be the primary caregiver for the baby and stick to it. If that is going to be you, realize that you will have no social life for a really, really long time. If the primary caregiver is going to be your mom and dad, realize that your child may not want to be with you once you move out and start your own life.

The reason I say this is because my cousin had a baby at 15. She allowed her mom and dad to be the primary caregive while she went on with her life like she barely even had a baby. They let her live her life like a normal teenager and college student without hardly any responsibility towards the baby. Five years later when she met the man of her dreams and got married, her son did not want to live with her. They tried to let him live with her and he was miserable, depressed, and very distraught. He ended up moving back in with his grandparents.

I recommend that you take on most if not all of the parental responsibilities and make the sacrifice. I think it's what's in the best interest of the child. My cousin's son is very, very loved but he is going to have issues. Especially now that my cousin os pregnant again. He is always going to feel some abandonment issues from his mom. He is always going to feel like she loves her other child more than him. Don't let this happen to you.

Possum

Keep. Please.

Make sure you read this -
http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pdf

I wish you all well.

hermosa

I was 16 when I had my baby, 15 yrs. ago I never thought in abortion, my husband and I still together and we took the responsibility of risen
a beautiful baby girl, If you guys love each other that much keep your baby no one was born knowing to be a parent, you'll learn god will help you don't worry.

blank stare

I wish my mother had kept me.

Smakers15

The fact that that you are having such a hard time making your decision mean you will most likely regret giving your child up for adoption. You state: "I feel closer and closer to this baby everyday and I don't think I can give it up once I've had it." If you give you child up for adoption, you will stll be attached to him/her and will wonder what "could of been" for the rest of your life. Don't let the fact that you are young influence you; I believe that if you love your child and want to be a good mother, you will be.

Good luck in whatever you choose to do..

ILUVmyLittleChuncksters

if u have support from all those ppl. it makes it even better

even though both of u r young i think u both should take responsiblity for ur own actions
u say u feel closer to ur preciuos one everyday, then y give ur baby up?

we are all bound to have kids sum day... u just had urs at an early age as well as i did.
tell ur b/f not to worry and u don't either b/c u will love that baby so much that u will learn.. it does take time and patience and it's all worth it

in my opinion, i don't think that;s a good reason to give him up for adoption unless u r dieing soon and CAN'T take care of ur little one

but i now u could so don't think anymore about ur decision... keep ur baby

the baby is urs, the baby belongs to u and no one else

Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP

Ok, I just want you to know that I kow how you feel, I have been there. I was a teen mom too. I am certainly not trying to be rude, but I must wonder, why are you wanting to relinquish you child? Unless there is abuse or neglect, there is no reason for an adoption to occur.

Is it because you are single? So am I, and let me tell you, it is NOT as bad as people make it out to be. Now, I DO have the support of my family, and that helps a ton, but I am still the one that provides the support for my son, I am the one that raises him, and I wouldn't have it any other way. If you are wanting a "Two parent home" for your child? Remember, that the divorce rate is out of control, and more than likely, your child will end up being raised by a single parent anyway. Then what? You loose a child, your child looses his heritage (and YOU, which is all he really wants anyways) all for a situation which is no better than he would have had anyways REMEMBER! You will not always be single! THIS IS TEMPORARY!!!

Is it because you are young? Honestly, people used to have children at 16 ROUTINELY and did a great job with them. It is an extreamly new development that women wait untill their 30's to have children. I am 21 now, and let me tell you, I am a wonderful mother. I love my son more than anything. Age is only a number, you CHOOSE to be a good or bad parent! REMEMBER! You will not always be young! THIS IS TEMPORARY!!!

Is it because you are in school? So am I. I am in Nursing School. I go to school at night, so my mom or my aunt can watch Jayden. Going to school while being a mom is not that bad. So you have to move your schedual around a little, so what? I promise, it pays off in the end. Being a mom is SOOOO much more fun than getting drunk every weekend at a frat house. And guess what, you can STILL party sometimes, you just find a babysitter for the night. I have never met a woman that became a mother and COMPLETELY gave up having a little fun every once in a while. REMEMBER! You will not always be in school! THIS IS TEMPORARY!!!

Is it because you don't think that you will be able to support the child? I thought that too. I had to move back in with my Mom, I got on Medicaid, WIC, and other government programs. You will get AWESOME scholarships and Grants for having a child. I will end up oweing next to nothing for school. You child does't want a fancy nursery, name brand clothes, and a trust fund, he wants YOU! You are ALL that he knows, and ALL that he wants. A baby is accutely aware of who his mother is immediatly after birth. This is the modern world, people will NOT allow you and you child to go without basic necessities. There are second hand stores that have REALLY cute stuff for next to nothing. REMEMBER! You will not always be struggling! THIS IS TEMPORARY!!!

I really hope you do your research (and that does NOT mean asking adoption agencies what they think, they make money from separting you from your child)

I also hope that you do not make a decision untill after your baby is born. There is NO rush, why don't you try to parent him for a while? At least then you will know...

sam22254

Keep you baby. Your be alright and I bet the grandmothers will be there to help. If you give your child away you will always wonder even if the couple tells you it will be open after about 6 months they will stop taking your calls and visit

snowwillow20

Keep it and let your parent help. In the long run, you won't regret it.
I gave up my first child and it scarred me for life.

Just me

If you feel in your heart that you can parent the baby and care for him/her.Then what does it matter what others think,It seems that your boyfriends mom is willing to help.Take the help.

Finish school and if you can go to college.While you at school,your parents or his parents could watch the baby.Try to do the best for your child.Just because you young doesn't mean you can't try and be the best parent you can be.When a person becomes a parent,you learn everything and keep learning things to better your parenting skills.

Being a parent doesn't come with a manual.You learn to parent your child the best way you can.The one thing,a person can give their child is LOVE.Be patience and when asked if you need time for yourself take it.It doesn't matter if it's a couple of hours or 20 minutes.

Good Luck and Best wishes to you.

Lady Rowan

keep your baby. You have a support system, theres no reason i can see for you to give the baby up.

mandy

PLEASE keep your baby. I have given up a baby for adoption at a young age, 17 and I can't even begin to tell you the pain and the loss I feel everyday...and even still to this day. Its like a piece of you is always missing. When you get pregnant again and you are ready...you will be more scared that you won't get to keep your next child. Please, for your sanity later down the road..don't put yourself through what I went through. As long as you have the loving support of your family..you will be fine. You CAN do this. I won't tell you it will be easy, BUT it will be WORTH it.

Bookwarm

Your age and lack of money are both temporary conditions. Your love for your child(and his or her love for you) is not. I would keep your promise and raise your child while continuing your schooling and making your family a better life.

â™¥Tiffanyâ™¥

If you feel you can do it and you have the support you need yes. Being young doesn't mean you can't be good parents. It's about your maturity level and hopefully the further along you get the higher that level will become. Do what is right for you and your baby and don't let people tell you otherwise.

dinoula17

It sounds like this baby is very much loved by all already. If you're financially and emotionally stable then i think you should keep this baby. It sounds like your families will be there for you and that's all you need, love. Good luck with it all, having a baby is truly a beautiful miracle.

parenting is an option II

Keep your baby. I had my first baby at 18. I just had my third. Just make sure you learn how to budget income. Learn the importance of saving money and save up a down payment for a house. Get a used car. You can make it work. I promise you have the father that wants to be part of the baby's life and all the grandparents that will back you all the way. I didn't have my mother's support about having my baby but I did have my father who sent me money to make sure I had enough to eat through out my pregnancy and I did work the first few months of my pregnancy until I got really sick with morning sickness and fatigue.

You can do this. You are never to young. You are want your baby wants and need. Be there for your baby. Your baby will love you unconditionally.

EDIT: You can afford this baby. People sell used cribs on Craigslist for as low as $50 and that is including the mattress. Resale shops have clothes as cheap as $0.50 to $7 for an elegant dress. Buy used, you'll save a lot of money. People like to make baby's seem like they cost a fortune but that's not the case. A new crib at walmart is $100 to $150 and the mattress is $50 if you want new. Resale shops have a standard before they buy from people and you can always ask for then to test it. Learn how to grocery shop by sales.

And if you breastfeed you only have to feed yourself, but WIC will help you with formula. If you want to nurse WIC will loan you a dual Manual breast pump. Apply for food stamps and medicaid.

I got my GED at 18, I went to trade school when I was 21, I bought my house at 20. I got married at 18 also. Since you have family be willing to learn how to take care of yourself and your baby. Me and my husband take opposite shifts watching our kids while we both work. But you can see if the grand mothers wouldn't mind baby sitting. You can make this work. Best of Luck!

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