What do you think about adoption? (These questions are for everyone)?

Fred F

To put it simply, adopted children are planed. Some children are not planed.

There are too many equations to give an exact answer.

LeeC

Several of my best friends were adopted, my in-laws adopted two children, I have known girls that put their baby's up for adoption. It's all so beautiful! This is a solution that works out for all involved. Everyone I know had a CLOSED adoption, but it also left a lot of unanswered questions. My buddy Kyle needed a kidney, family info would have helped. My buddy's Greg & Karen had curiosity, but never pursued the issue. My friends that put their baby's up for adoption left it "open" and have never heard from the families. So...I have very positive feelings about it. Everyone I know involved has greatly benefited from the adoptions. I wouldn't mind being adopted, I have adopted several BROTHERS & SISTERS. An Adoptive Parent(s) SHOULD go through a screening process to make sure they are stable & financially secure enough to handle the responsibility!

ÏŽÃ¯â•šÃâ•’â””Ó©ÏŽÉ›Ò‘

1.It's great *most of the time.
2.I think open adoption is better for the child.
3.Open because I would want the child to know what it's roots are.
4.You'll be bombarded by bitter people who use this section to rant about how evil adoption is, so I'm not gonna bother with the bad. I think it's good because it gives a child a loving home.
5.yes
6.YES in fact I'm planning to when I'm older!
7.You need to understand the child isn't just a blank slate - it has a personality that was biologically passed down from its bio-parents. Also, don't keep any secrets about the adoption. Let them know all about it at a young age. Aside from that, just treat it like you would a normal kid.
8.I wouldn't be surprised LOL
9.It wouldn't make a difference

bananas

*good
*good
*closed -i think it just makes for awkward situations, but if my kid is willing to speak to me id me more than willing to speak with them
* I think adoption is a great idea some people arent meant to be parents, some people get raped, some girls are too young, some people are too poor, some people cant have kids and i think its cool that they still have a chance to be parents
*Yup
* I want to adopt one
* financial stability, flexibility, understanding, compassion, love
* I'd be alitte bit shocked but id get over it because my parents have been very loving
* the same

...

1. Agree with it.
2. Same.
3. I wouldn't.
4. I don't think it's good nor bad.Some people who don't want to be parents shouldn't be forced to and should give their kids up.
5.Several people including myself.
6.I would.
7.There are too many to list.
8.I am adopted and I glad I am.I love my family.
9. The same? why would I treat them any different?

I was adopted at infancy.I didn't find my bio family until I was 20.After meeting them, I am glad my bio mom put me up for adoption.I love my parents and they did a great job, better than my bio mom and dad could have ever did.

I think a lot of here are just bitter because A. they are birth moms who were young and naive enough to have their rights taken away whether they wanted to sign them away or were tricked and B. adoptees who grew up in crapp households and now think all adoptions are evil.

Marnie B

1.What do you think about open adoption? it's good in some situations
2.What do you think about closed adoption? also god in some situations
3.If you had to put your child up for adoption. Would you use an open or closed adoption and Why? It really depends, I prefer semi-open adoption where you know the parents names & exchange pictures & letters, but dont see each other
4.What do you think about the whole adoption thing? Like why is it good and/or bad. I think adoption is a wonderful thing, it's a good option for people who cant parent their children, it's better than abortion, & it's a wonderful way to become a parent. The bad things is it's way too expensive & there's still a lot of judgment & misinformation about it, & you get bashed on Yahoo Answers by people who dont know yours or your child's whole story
5.Do you know anyone who has been adopted and/or is in adoptive homes? Yes, I have friends & a cousin who were adopted, plus of course my daughter, I have a few friends who are adoptive parents
6.Would you or have you adopted a child? Yes
7.What do you think is required to be an adoptive parent? A good strong marriage, able to support the child financially & emotionally, lots of love, a thick skin because people will make stupid comments
8.If you found out you were adopted. How would you feel? I'd wonder why I wasnt told sooner, but it would explain a lot, lol
9.If you find out someone was adopted. How would treat them? The same way I'd treat anyone else

The Jason

1. They're harder than closed, but it's better than no adoption at all
2. Probably the best way for a child to have a normal life growing up
3. Closed. As hard as it would be, that child will have different parents and doesn't need a third parent at this stage in their life
4. Adoption is fantastic. It puts children in loving homes. What's better than that?
5. I was adopted from birth
6. I would, in a heartbeat
7. Nothing out of the ordinary. A great capacity to love and the willingness to make their life great.
8. n/a (have always known, never thought it was a big deal)
9. No differently

Grace

1.What do you think about open adoption?
I think that it all depends on the reason they were put up for adoption...

2.What do you think about closed adoption?
my biological mom did horrible drugs when pregnant with me in that case im very glad for closed adoption she was always in trouble and the reason i was adopted was to have a better life(even though some end up in horrible adoptive households) and if my bio mother came back in my life it'd ruin everything

3.If you had to put your child up for adoption. Would you use an open or closed adoption and Why?
probably it depends on the situation i would like them to know why they were adopted and when but i'd probably have a closed one

4.What do you think about the whole adoption thing? Like why is it good and/or bad.
it is good because people accept the fact that they can't take care of their child and ts probably the worse feeling in the world but by trying to give them a better life they are being very selfless

5.Do you know anyone who has been adopted and/or is in adoptive homes?
I am adopted and honestly I'm very okay with becasue i know my situation before i was with my parents who knows where i'd be with out them......honestly any woman can bring a child into the world but the person who brings you up and teaches you morals and things like that is a true mother

6.Would you or have you adopted a child?
yes just becasue i know what it is like and i can relate to them

7.What do you think is required to be an adoptive parent?
a lot of paper work and they need to have a lot of time for the adoptive child because even if they are young most will end up with emotional problems or problems of some sort i was two when i was adopted and i cant reember lots a few things but i still have issue that i was able to trace back to this but i work on them

8.If you found out you were adopted. How would you feel?
for the longest time i was torn up about it but now i see it as a blessing

9.If you find out someone was adopted. How would treat them?
the same way i always did that was what i was always afraid of was being judged and anyone who judges someone for being adopted is wrong for doing so

Kyle F.

There are bad adoptions and good adoptions.

1. Open adoption is probably the best way for the child, and it is most likely in the child's best interest, but it can also cause a lot of pain and uncertainty for the b-parents and a-parents of the child, and I believe it would probably be best if the b-parents were friends with the a-parents.

2. Closed adoption is very hard on the b-parents, and for a-parents who tell their children they are adopted. Sometimes I think its better, but in reality its just easier. (not better, though in some cases it might be)

3. I would choose to receive pictures and updates, maybe videos, but I would try not to intrude to much until the child was old enough to choose whether or not they wanted to meet me. But I don't know because I have not yet been in that kind of situation.

4. I believe that it is (generalizing) a good thing. However there are still horror stories of abusive parents and such.

5. There's a girl at my school who was adopted from Elsalvador, or some place like that, when she was 12. She's the only pregnant girl that I know of there, but she is already 19 or 20. She just stayed in school because she was a little behind. Theres a set of twins that ride my bus, and while I don't personally care for them, the girl is sweet, though a little loud, they're middle schoolers, what do you expect?

6. I plan to adopt one day. I don't know when or where, but seriously, its my dream to adopt from China. I know that alot of people are against international adoption, but I believe that the world should just accept that we're all human and we all are living on the same earth breathing the same air.

7. I believe that an adoptive parent should be open to discussing their child's birth family, where they came from, be willing to try their best to preserve their culture and language. And MOST importantly, they should love their child just as much as they would love a biological child. If you believe that you are "saving" a child, then you should not adopt. You should only adopt because you want to be a parent, not considered a saint. Many people believe that love is not enough, but love is what pushes you to do your best for your child. It is the foundation, and without a sturdy foundation, the entire structure will collapse, and while I'm young, I would like to believe that love IS everything.

8. I really don't know, but I've tried to think about it. I don't think it would change the way I feel about my family, and I don't even think that I would want to find my b-parents, but thats just me.

9. I would treat them the exact same way I treat people who aren't adopted. My best friend in the whole world was almost killed due to her mother being stoned and was sent to live with her father, and was adopted by her step mother, and I treat her the same way I treat my sisters.

8.

greeneyedqt

1. agree with open adoption...but open adoptions are not enforced by law and the birth parents and adoptive parents who agree to an open adoption should have to sign a legally binding contract to keep the adoption open.
2. agree with closed adoption.
3. i would chose a closed adoption. i feel like it would be best for everyone, myself included. i would include all medical information though so my child wouldn't have to do endless searching for their families medical history. if my child wanted to contact me in the future i would be open to it.
4. i think adoption is a good thing, while i am pro choice adoption is better than abortion, and it gives infertile couples who want to have a child the chance to be parents. it also a good thing for children who are abused and neglected by their biological parents. every child deserves a safe home.
5. my sister's fiance was adopted, so is my cousin.
6. i personally wouldn't adopt a child. i don't think i could love a child that i didn't give birth to myself. thats just my personal opinion.
7. background checks: no felonies, references from friends, family, employers, psychological tests.
8. if i found out i was adopted i wouldn't care if my parents were open about it and didn't keep it a secret. i would also be curious about my birth parents, my medical records, etc. i don't think i would go looking for them though, unless i needed answers about something medical related. if my parents hid it from me that i was adopted i would be resentful towards them
9. why would i treat them any differently...it doesn't change who they are as a person

AdoreHim

1- I think it is fine, if birth mother, and adopted family agree that is a good idea
2- same as above
3- Since I am adopted and an adoptive parent, this is hard for me to say, but I think I would prefer a closed adoption, so that I would not confuse the child that placed.
4- It can be good or it can be bad. I know that there are some adoptees that wish they had never been adopted, and then like myself and my 2 children- we feel blessed to be. For the birth mom it must be very difficult to carry a child for 9 months and then place in the arms of another couple.
5- Myself, my children, and some other families
6- I adopted 2
7- Love and compassion, and discipline when necessary. I don't think I was raised, as an adoptee any differently then if my parents had been my bio parents. Same with my children.
8- I found out a very young age, and I was always fine with it. I think it is when parents wait too long to tell their children, that bad feelings can arise.
9- No differently then if they were not adopted. IT IS NOT AN ILLNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tad W

1 & 2 - I think the child has a God given, and constitutionally protected, right to his or her identity that is violated by the "legal fiction" of adoption. This violation is worse in closed adoptions. This right is established by exactly the same amendments to the US Constitution that are used to establish the first mother's right to privacy and that form the foundation of Roe v. Wade. I thin the child's right trumps the mother's or the adopters' rights to privacy. I think it is wrong to artificially change the child's identity. Open adoptions should have enforceable contact provisions, and should have provisions to return the child to the first family when it is in the child's best interest to do so.

3. I would go kicking and screaming into my grave before I'd give away a child. There is no such thing as a situation where one HAS to relinquish a child, only situations where values are confused between mammon and the mother-child bond. There is always another option.

4. I think there are a lot of children over the age of two, that have special needs, or that have come from abusive homes that need kindness, love and shelter in the foster care system that cannot be returned to their real parents. I think taking in such a child brings many blessings. I think there are many APs and PAPs that are only interested in adopting an infant, and capitalize on the misfortune of others and use the unethical practices in the adoption industry to buy their babies, resulting in corruption and crimes that turn my stomach.

5. I know and have know several adoptees, adopters, first mothers and first fathers.

6. My wife's ex-husband asked me to adopt his three daughters so he could get out of paying child support. I declined.

7. For those that seek to adopt infants and drive the child trafficking industry, a complete lack of morals or a complete lack of understanding of what they are doing. For those that adopt from foster care, a huge heart, a lot of patience and determination, plus all of other the attributes of parents in spades.

8. Angry

9. I would be sensitive to the special emotional situation of the person, empathize with their situation, but otherwise treat them as I would anyone else.

myst1998

1. Scam... doesn't exist except for what agencies promise which is actually a lie

2. Abolish it

3. I wouldn't willingly place any child for adoption

4. I hate adoption... it is what actually taught me the meaning of hate. I have never known such evil until I was thrown into this hell and I pray one day enough people know about the reality of its evils to either have it abolished and something wholesome put in its place or drastically changed... and I mean DRASTICALLY. I see it as a form of human trafficking and slavery.

5. Yes I have grown up with adoptees all around me and lived with adoptive parents who were close friends of our family. They were lovely.

6. NEVER would I adopt a child, I am not that cruel. I would foster and where possible, I have helped mums get on their feet to keep their children.

7. N/A

8. I would be devastated and I would want to know WHY and where my parents are. I would want to know why I wasn't told earlier and I would feel my trust betrayed. Thankfully (and no offense intended here) I am not and I feel lucky not to be.

9. The same as I treat anyone else... they are no different except some of them have been severely discriminated against. Where I come from, adoptees have access to their birth certificates so it was a shock when I found out there were people who don't have that info. But yeah, one of my best friends was adopted and I treated her like a person... like they should be treated!

l e n

1. What do you think about open adoption?
I think it's great if all parties involved feel that is what is best for them.
2. What do you think about closed adoption?
Same as above
3.If you had to put your child up for adoption. Would you use an open or closed adoption and Why?
If I had too? This question does not apply to me, if by some miracle I became pregnant I would keep my child.
4. What do you think about the whole adoption thing? Like why is it good and/or bad.
I think adoption is a wonderful thing, there are many children who need homes and many people who would like to give them one. If handled responsibly by the agency and adoptive parents it should be no different then being born into a family. I have no knowledge of how foster adoption works but I think it adds more difficulties but can be a positive thing as well.
5.Do you know anyone who has been adopted and/or is in adoptive homes?
Yes my brother and I, I know some couples who have adopted, and I knew other kids when I was younger.
6.Would you or have you adopted a child?
Thought about it and started the application and paperwork process but then had some difficult times and decided the timing was not right to bring a child into our life at that time. Now we are starting to think about it again, but we have changed our thoughts a bit on what we want to achieve, we may just become foster parents.
7.What do you think is required to be an adoptive parent? State requirements vary as do agency requirements
8.If you found out you were adopted. How would you feel?
I always knew. I feel fine about it. I never felt a loss, I have a great family and I know that my biological mother made the hardest decision of her life out of love for me and had my best interests in mind.
9.If you find out someone was adopted. How would treat them?
It wouldn't change the way I treat them at all. But I have had people treat me differently when they found out. When I was young kids would tease me but it never bothered me because I knew I was wanted and I knew, even at that age, that a lot of biological kids could never know that for sure, because there are a lot of accidents walking around in the world, it doesn't mean kids aren't loved and I'm not implying that. Heck I was an accident for my biological mother at 16, but I know for sure that I was wanted by my parents, it's like an added bonus. The only thing that bothers me is when people say my family isn't my "real" family. My adoptive parents are my real parents and my brother is my real brother despite of the lack of a blood connection.

*Starfire*

1.What do you think about open adoption? I think it should be required for all adoptions. Even if the child was abused the child deserves to know where they came from. Your open adoption could just be a few letters a year.
2.What do you think about closed adoption? Its wrong. I don't think I could ever do a closed adoption. Even if the mom thinks she wants it at the time she'll regret it later.
3.If you had to put your child up for adoption. Would you use an open or closed adoption and Why?
Open same reason as above.
4.What do you think about the whole adoption thing? Like why is it good and/or bad. Adoptions aren't always nessacary. Infant adoptions are advertised to couples like me that are infertile. They don't tell you what's really going on. They're ruining someone's life to fix someone else's and its wrong. But adopting a waiting child I agree with they need a home. And as long as your intention is to give that child a home and not fill the hurt from infertility I think its great.
5.Do you know anyone who has been adopted and/or is in adoptive homes? Yes, A lot my family adopted 2 girls. By ex boyfriend was adopted and my best friend was adopted. All out of foster care.
6.Would you or have you adopted a child? I will if the oppurtunity comes from the child needing me. We're looking into foster care. But even if we adopt we're opting to keep our home open to fostering other children after adoption.
7.What do you think is required to be an adoptive parent? Understanding and support.
8.If you found out you were adopted. How would you feel? Hopeful I would already know but if my parents hadn't told me I'd feel confused.
9.If you find out someone was adopted. How would treat them? The same as anyone else. I found out my friend was adopted and I was like "cool" And that was the end of it. She had an open adoption so she told me she had two familes.

1.What do you think about open adoption?
Its great when its upheld on BOTH ends. In my adoption, it was requested to be closed by my bio mom. Her family wanted to get custody of me, and she didn't want that for my safety. At least she cared that much.

2.What do you think about closed adoption?
It depends. Are the biological parents literally dangerous? Convicted child molesters, severely abusive? Did the bio family want it that way? Then yeah I can understand it. I really think it should only be used when they child's life is in danger. It should not be closed just because a biological Mom missing her child and writing letters a little too often in a n open adoption. That just shows insecurities in the adoptive parents.

3.If you had to put your child up for adoption. Would you use an open or closed adoption and Why?
I would never put any of my children up for adoption. Not unless someone killed me and pryed them out of my hands. Never happening.

4.What do you think about the whole adoption thing? Like why is it good and/or bad.
It is good for certain situations. As in children with abusive parents, kids that both parents die and there are no other family members willing/able to take care of them, ki

cathrl69

1. I think it should be permanently binding unless there are safety issues - in the same sort of way that a mum can't simply refuse to let a divorced dad see his child.
2. I think there will be cases where it's necessary for the child's well-being. Apart from those...it's really sad.
3. I can't imagine a situation where I'd need to. I have a supportive extended family and there are multiple households in it who would care for my child if I was unable to. If I was dead, it hardly matters since they'd be the child's closest relatives anyway.
4. It depends on each individual case.
5. Yes, several people.
6. I haven't. My god-daughter's parents asked us years ago whether we would adopt her in the event of a family tragedy, and we would do that. It's in their wills that that's what they would want.
7. I think really an acceptance that the child has another family which isn't yours. Plus all the things which any good parent needs, of course.
8. I'm 40. If I had been adopted (and I'm really not), it would have been in the era when people often didn't tell the kids. I can't imagine my parents having done anything they didn't genuinely believe was in my best interests. I don't know how I'd feel about my first family, but I'm pretty sure my feelings towards the family I grew up with wouldn't change.
9. I'd treat them exactly the same as anyone else. If they wanted to talk about it, I'd try to be a sympathetic listener.

7rin

1. Should be banned.
2. Should be banned.
3. I never would.
4. Should be banned.
5. Yes.
6. Never.
7. Insanity. :p
8. I've always known I was adopted. I feel like I shouldn't exist.
9. Same as everyone else.

ETA@Fred: I wouldn't want to be planed!

â™«Ms. Kittyâ™€â™«

1: Open adoption is ok but not enforced enough.
2: Closed adoption is just depressing for both birth mother and child.
3: I would NEVER put my child up for adoption, but if I had to I'd probably do open.
4: I think adoption has the potential to be a beautiful thing...but its not. The fact that agencies sell children for the price of cars is just disgusting. ($10,000-$20,000 depending on their health, race, and cuteness)
5: My best friend was adopted and she hated it. She hates her birth mother for abandoning her and she hates her adoptive parents for allowing people to rape her.
6: I would most definitely adopt a child. Most likely a teenager though. Like I said before infants are like 20k and teens/retarded children are like a 90% off sale, clearence rack if you will, practically free. But I wouldn't adopt because of the prices I would adopt because most of these kids are treated like dirt.
7: Good income, respectable background, no highly religious brainwashing family though.
8: I would probably be a little depressed but I probably wouldn't try to figure out who my mother is though. As sad as it may seem I'd try to leave her in the past.
9: I would treat them just the same. Its not like their diseased or something.

Pip

1.What do you think about open adoption? - Agree with it but believe it should be legally binding for both adoptive parents and natural parents.

2.What do you think about closed adoption? - Only agree with it if it's for the child's safety or the mother doesn't agree to an open adoption.

3.If you had to put your child up for adoption. Would you use an open or closed adoption and Why? - No I didn't put my child for adoption but it still happened as I was lied and bullied into surrendering. I wasn't told my rights, didn't see any paperwork and it is questionable that I signed anything. The adoption went ahead even though I never agreed to it as I was lied to from start to finish. My son's adoption was closed as I was refusing to agree to it so wasn't told about open adoption. Had I chosen adoption I would have wanted a legally binding open adoption.

4.What do you think about the whole adoption thing? Like why is it good and/or bad. In principle adoption is good but the reality is that there is a bad side to it as well. If it's in the child's best interest to be adopted and they go to a loving family/safe environment then that is good. The bad side of adoption are abusive adoptive parents, coerced and forced adoptions. I am a survivor of being coerced, my son should never have been adopted - what happened to us isn't unusual - and I know of quite a few forced adoption which again should never have happened. Adoption should only be the last resort.

5.Do you know anyone who has been adopted and/or is in adoptive homes? Yes cousins, friend and my son was adopted.

6.Would you or have you adopted a child? Have thought about adoption but haven't adopted as I believe legal guardianship and long term fostering are better options.

7.What do you think is required to be an adoptive parent? To be the best parent they can be, put the child first, be honest and open about the child being adopted but follow the child's lead on how much it is talked about, to love the child, provide a safe environment ... basically be the same kind of parent as they would be if the child had been born to them.

8.If you found out you were adopted. How would you feel? - Angry for not always knowing. Anybody who is adopted has a right to know this and have a right to search for family if they want to.

9.If you find out someone was adopted. How would treat them? I do know adoptees which include three cousins and an old school friend. I treat them the same as if they weren't adopted with the only difference being is that if they choose to talk about their adoption related feelings I will also discuss this with them.

smarmy

I think it's a billion dollar a year Industry that makes its money off the selling of infant flesh.

I think they keep records sealed so as to hide their dirty dealings and practices.

I think they have perfected the art of manipulation not only on young scared pregnant women, but on perspective adoptive parents as well.

I think they lie to get what they want.

I think they don't care about the human factor and are blinded by the money.

I think most of it's human trafficking.

Do I know anyone who was adopted Yes
Would I adopt NO
How would I feel if I found out i was adopted, cant answer that because I would have to have it really happen to me to understand it.
How do I treat Adoptee's, Like my best friends.

ETA: and I think people who walk around saying everyone other than themselves is bitter and angry is full of crap up to their eye balls. Because they went looking, just like everyone else. they just didn't like what they found and went running back. But they went looking to begin with which makes them the same as everyone else.

Jessica

Wow I never realized how ignorant people were to the adoption process. I mean my God, some people are just idiots. Human trafficking? Really? Is that what you think? Are you aware of the amount of mother's rights laws on the books today? Are you aware of the legalities of state adoption and private adoption? My good God, I had no idea people had such misguided views. Anyway, on to the questions.

1. It is great, it depends on the situation but I guess its fine. It can be hard though. I am really glad I know who my birth mother is but growing up going back and forth on visits was hard. I always acted different when I would come back. I would get anxious because my bio-mother would say, oh I'll the truth when you get older, it was all a scam, they stole you from me. Well I'm 20 years old now and I realize the only person lying was her. It takes awhile for a child to realize the whole adoption thing, it can be hard. I am still for open adoptions though because I think if it was closed I would have say my mother as something different and not for what she is. I had to see with my own eyes and realize that I am where I am because that is what is best for me. I don't know, it is very complicated, but bottom-line is that I do think open adoption in fine for most cases.

2. I think medical records should always be accessible. Other than that I do not have a problem with closed adoptions. Also a note of why the person is giving the child is a nice gesture as it is a very common question among closed adoptees. Closed adoptions are sometimes nice because the child call live there new live generally uninterrupted by the fact they are adopted. I don't think it is a huge deal either way.

3. I don't know what I'd choose. Ideally I might act as the child's aunt until he or she is old enough to understand everything. That way the child wouldn't struggle mentally about who their real family is and all that other crap that could bother them. I honestly don't know. I do know I would go through a private agency though just because it would easier for me.

4. Adoption is the greatest thing in the world. Everyone deserves a family and now everyone can have one, its beautiful.

5. Me! I'm adopted as is my brother in-law, my best friends sisters, and some of my friends. I also grew up in a foster home all my life.

6. Of course I would adopt a child. I would be perfectly happy if I just adopted; I don't need a little clone of myself running around to feel satisfied, I don't care about the continuation of my blood line, who cares?

7. Well I think there should be regulations for all parents but whatever. I think that beyond typical parent training adoptive parents should learn how to deal with emotional problems that may arise, how to work with an open adoption so it is best for everyone, and just be familiar with all the emotional stuff that comes with adopting. Especially when adopting an older child.

8. I am adopted so....but yeah I get what your asking. It would be weird to just find out now at 20. I would have lots of questions. I would want to know who my parents were, why they gave me up, if they gave me up or if they were forced, what my race is, why I was never told, etc.

9. If someone adopted I would treat them as a sibling, ya children of the state! But no, I probably wouldn't treat them any different, or if anything nicer because we have something in common.

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