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♥†Ërìcs wìfëÿ *&* Ëthãñs Mømmÿ†♥
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ITS BETTER THAN ABORTION! |
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Granny 1
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That I was chosen, and thank goodness my bio Mother was an unselfish person. |
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Gershom
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adoption = loss |
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Lane
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Sometimes the child given up for adoption grows up and has severe mental illness problems and becomes a problem to both the biological mom, the biological mom's family and the adoptive parents also. There are many different sides to this story. We are all human and no one is perfect. America needs to have a more modern and open attitude towards adoption and also to realize that a child can be born with a mental illness that is really no ones fault as it just happens in life. There have been adoptions throughout history, so I do not understand why America goes into a seizure over the word, adoption? It's a mystery why people get upset over the concept of adoption. |
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Pip
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Pain
hurt
depression
sadness
guilt
no self worth
second best
no confidence
The only positive to come out of adoption was my son and I finding each other but that doesn't repair the damage of the loss we both suffered. |
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red elephants
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Normal happy families. I don't doubt that there are those who are negatively affected by adoption but in real life I have never met a person who has felt that way.
I know adoptive parents and their kids (international and through foster care), adult adoptees, a birth mom who willingly surrendered and still feels it was the right decision a decade later and a woman who had her child taken by the state (she couldn't care less). All are really at peace with their relation to adoption. They have good lives and relations and very little of the negative feelings that are common on here. The only one who doesn't have a great life is the mom who had her child taken by the state. It has nothing to do with the adoption just her being a complete and utter mess in life.
They of course all have their families tiffs and drama but that is a normal part of everyones lives and is not just because of adoption. They are all really what I would consider your average family. |
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Lisa needs a vacation!
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The first thing that comes to mind is how much I hate adoption and the lie that it is. The lie that adoptees are forced to live, without any choice.
I am sickened by the lies that society continues to thrive on, that adoption is a wonderful disney movie. Adoption should be criminal. It is a crime against women and children.
Then there are the lies that first parents will get over it, and that it is a "choice". Some choice huh? I hate how everyone minimizes the impact of adoption on first mothers and their children.
I hate how AP's will lie, cheat and STEAL to get someone else's baby, because of their infertility. I hate how they JUSTIFY taking someone else's baby....by stepping on the reputation and vulnerability of a first mother. Not to mention..... luring her into it with openness promises they usually have NO intentions of keeping.
I hate that anyone makes money off of tearing families apart and damaging them for life. I hate that people do not see what adoption is....an industry.
Guardianship is kinder. |
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farm mom of 10
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The first thing that comes to my mind is my beautiful children. We adopted through the foster care system. My oldest adopted child was three and a half when her mother relinquished her because she could not stop her drug addiction, and had abandoned her while she sought out some drugs. We adopted her baby brother a year later. Because this little girl remembers her mother, and grieves, we have an open adoption.
My other adopted child, we offered at least cards and letters, but his mother thought it would be too hard. If he ever wants to see her though, I do have some contact information, and it wouldn't be too hard to find her. He's pretty young right now.
I wish I could post a picture...you could see some at my site where I write articles on foster adoption and other things:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/150807/carla_raley.html |
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myst1998
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Loss. Pain. Anger. Issues that run deeply. A need for change in the way children are viewed to the rest of the world. |
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HappyMomAnna
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I don't define myself as Pro-Adoption just as Pro-Family in the role of Mother-
What do I think:
I think of my uncle who grew up in an orphanage and was never adopted and then sent home to his abusive mother at the age of 17...
I think of My cousin my uncle and aunt adopted and how much she is the most Awesome person I have met.
I think of My ex husband and the father of our children and his sister...and her husband and how it was ODD to be the only adult in the family who could say, "Look she has my dad's eyes"
I think of the children I am mothering the best I know how even thou they were hurt sooooo bad that they may never have what we all call a normal life...
I think of the more then 130,000 kids waiting that everyone forgets when they rape my husbands pay check to bail out banks and redistribute our earnings to things that don't make a difference to them--or to the over half million children in foster care tonight who have parents unable to properly care for them...
I think about how some people Adopt for themselves instead of their child and make me have to defend myself that I am not one of them and really honest to God I could have lived without adopting more children but--did because they were in Foster Care Waiting and I didn't want them to ever know the feeling my Uncle Eddie did...
and How Uncle Eddie told me that it was Okay because he was adopted into the Kingdom of God and that made the difference in his life...and caused him to make the difference in so many Other People's lives that when he Died there was not room for all of the people who came to Remember he had. |
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tre sato
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families are more than just blood, that really stands out. Yes the child may have issues as far as not feeling wanted by their biological parents goes, but if you can show them the proper love and affection, and help them through their problems, then its a success.
Kudos to you for wanting to adopt! I hope all goes well. |
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Lady Rowan
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what comes to mind? the confusion i felt at age 7 when i was told i was adopted. my parents did the best they could to explain what it meant.
Flash forward to 13 and the anger i felt when i was told who they were. i was mad at everyone for a year. |
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gypsywinter
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""What is the first thing that comes to mind?""
Painful memories and the bittersweet memory of seeing my newborn's face once for a few minutes...and then she was gone. |
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Jennifer L
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Thanks for the encouragement to post. =)
I think of my family, my children. |
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AdoreHim
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The first thing I think of when I think of the word adoption is THANKFUL. I know that will not be very popular here. That is why not too many pro-adoption people post their answers here anymore. Sometimes I wonder why I do, because most of the time I get emails from people that think I am in denial. However, I am very thankful to my birth mom for choosing life for me. |
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FlyingMonkeySwatter
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I do appreciate the encouragement to post....
I think of all of the strong feelings everyone has on the topic and how it is noone's business but the people involved of the how and why decisions were made because the decisions were unique to them.
I think of my family and how much I love them. I think of how much my children love each other. I think about how I can make myself worthy to be called MOM and what I can do every day to be a good mom and help them realize who they are and where their talents are. I am proud of them.
I do think often about their original parents and I do think of them as family. I also know that the joy I feel at becoming a parent came from a decision that reflects that same event in a different way for the woman who gave birth to them--one of I am sure was not easy by any means....so of course the event brings mixed feelings when all feelings are taken into account. |
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Serenity71
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When you post something positive about adoption it gets slammed fast or being told I'm seeing rainbows and puppies. (Not directed at you Mei-ling. There are some others here than jump on anything and aren't open. I feel you are open to all views that why I'm sharing.)
I can give you something i feel is benefit- There are children who do want to be part of family. They want to have their parents last name the same as the rest of the family and stability in life without fear of (in some cases.) Of their birth family taking them away from the family they know and trust. Foster care doesn't really offer that to kids. Permanent care does to a degree, but children often want the same surname as the rest of their family. As a long term foster kid what they really want. (Some will say their birth family and others will say to be adopted by their family.)
And our kids adoption was chosen for them. Their Nmother didn't want foster care. She wanted them to be part of the family in as many ways possible. I honour that, and I won't take it for granted. |
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SJM
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The first thing that comes to my mind is 'lies' swiftly followed by 'secrets'. |
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amyburt40
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Oh crap is the first thing that comes to mind. I really don't even want to hear how grateful someone is and the rest of the spiel. |
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JennaBear
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inner turmoil and confusion comes to my mind first. |
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Andraya - Snark's Sister
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Loss. The only thing that ever comes to mind is loss. |
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Kazi
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The first thing that comes to my mind is family, particulary my children. My actual thoughts about adoption are full of layers that I believe include a balance of both positive and negative. |
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monkeykitty83
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The first thing that crosses my mind is foster kids waiting for homes.
Of course, there are MANY other complexities and nuances to adoption, which I don't mean to downplay. But if we're just doing pure word association, I think of foster kids first. |
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MamaKate is an Aunt!
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Dear Mei-Ling,
Like Linny, the first word that jumps to my mind is "pain". Followed by a flood of thoughts about the complexities of this entity and how something which has such pure intentions has become such a mess. I believe idea of adoption is a good thing when it is necessary - as long as it is honest and ethical.
I too, prefer guardianship to modern adoption. |
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Independ"ant"
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What went wrong and how do "we" as society prevent another family from going through it. |
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BLW_KAM
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The first thing I think is "family". Without adoption it would be just the two of us with no soccer games, taxi service, hearing "Mom can you fix my laptop?" "What's for dinner?" "Can Steph come over to play?" "I didn't do it." and "I love you."
When you're an AP with a growing child, they take center stage and everything else comes in second place. |
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LinnyG
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pain. |
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kateiskate is getting married
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When I hear it, I think about all of the things I lost and then immediately feel conflicted because I LOVE my adoptive family.
I hate thinking about adoption. I hate adoption. |
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kitta
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Nausea. |
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Lori A
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First thing that comes to mind is the way I was and still am treated for being who I am. A mother who surrendered. |
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No Spam
Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
Not English
