Why do most people assume that all birth mothers don't want their baby?

Edg1

I think it's only the Obamas that think this is "punishment" and their followers.

Shae

maost dont if they're in an adoption faciliy

Still Me

I've worked in adoptions for 25 years, and have met and talked with thousands of people about adoption. I have rarely encountered people who think that birthmothers don't love and care about their babies.

naenae

Because they are giving the child up for adoption and they choose to do that.
Do you mean, they just know their baby will have a better life?
If thats what you mean, i think most people know that they are doing the best thing for thierchild.

Rainia W

I think most people assume that birthmoms want their kids but just can't handle the financial/emotional/societal pressure of having them at that time.

BPD Wife

I do not assume this. I believe everyone has a different situation and a different experience.

That being said, however, I do know that it was the case with my son's bio parents. They chose not to parent and sought a family to adopt their child privately. I do not think less of them for choosing adoption, nor do I "judge" them because they chose not to parent. That was their choice.

Katie D

I think the majority will agree that birth mothers wanted their baby, they just knew they couldn't give the baby everything they needed, whether it be for maturity reasons or lack of money to support a child. If they didn't want their baby they probably would have had an abortion.

Bouvier

The only answer I can give here is in your question........When people "assume" something, they tend to NOT have all of the facts. I cannot imagine that the majority of birth mothers "don't want to raise" their children. I think it is very unfortunate that they are in the positions that they are in when they make their adoption plan, however, being a proud AP, I also feel very blessed that my daughter's birth mother chose us to raise her baby girl, now, our baby girl as well.

oopsydaisy

I dont assume that all birth mothers are like that, but i am not stupid enough to belive that every birth mother was tricked into signing adoption papers either.

My birth mother CHOSE to sign the adoption papers, well aware of what she was doing. No doubt that she had her fair share of heartbreak while doing this, but she wasnt druged, she was tricked and she wasnt pressured by her family.
Theres always a reason behind someones actions.

Halo Mom

I do not
I know people that gave their children up
Most did it out of love for the child, not they did not want the baby

I know people who adopted
Some in this country, some outside this country
Not one of them, did not think the that the birth mother did not love or want the child.

I knew someone that was raped, and gave her child up for adoption. The couple that adopted, knew about how the child was conceived, and was willing to deal with it when the time comes

Anybody that think, that anyone that give the child up, is doing because it the easy way or they do not want the child is wrong

School Nurse

MOST people DO NOT assume that all birth mothers don't watn their baby. It is a sad and unfortunate situation that a woman finds herself in and for reasons all HER OWN, decides that she cannot raise the child and makes the heart wrenching decision to relinquish it for adoption.

Tabitha A

not very many people assume that
if anything i feel sorry for most birth mothers only 3 that i know do i not feel sorry for
my friends ex wife who has a 3 year old girl and just gave up her baby boy that was concived from a affaire while she was still married to my friend
another friend of mine who has 6 or 7 children that live with her mother that has placed multipal babies up for adoption i mean seriously two words birth control
and the birth mother of my cousin she had a boy child that was 4 i believe and gave up grace just hours after her birth and wanted nothing to do with her

other than those 3 people i feel sorry for any woman that has to give her baby away because she is too young or can't provide for the child or other reasons.

josazja

I have 3 cousins that were adopted and never once thought that their birth mother did not want them. Their mothers made the very difficult decision of giving them up because they could not sufficiently provide for them.

a healing adoptee

They don't or at least i don't!

tough cookie

they do they just arent ready yet

Jennifer L

I have never made that assumption.

My belief is that people who choose to place a child for adoption do so because they are unable or unwilling to be a parent. This isn't about not "wanting the baby" but recognizing that the situation is such that parenting the child themselves is not the best option.

BEBE

Maybe because the people who assume that are very attached to their families and can't understand why anyone would give them up. Most would feel that any other sacrifice would do before having to be separated from a child. Not everyone knows the situations or the reasoning for having to give a child up for adoption. So it could be ignorance for lack of a better word. But I think adoption is a great thing, I would rather see that than babies abandoned or thrown in trash cans. There are so many options now a days that it truly is enraging to see some women dispose of their defenseless infants as if they were just an object but I guess that's another topic huh? So not all of us assume that birth mothers don't want their kids but I can see how difficult it can be to understand.

HappyMomAnna

Most?

I have never assumed that at all when it comes to adoptions.

I assumed that with **some** abortions--or with some of the horrible stories of babies being dumed in toilets or dumpsters...

I have assumed that when I have witnessed Mothers who up and leave one--two or three children one day... My former sister-in-law announced one day that she "Did Not Want to be a Mother Anymore" and left my brother with a 7-4 and 1 year old to raise on his own.... I still have not figured that woman out....

I have assumed that with **Some** moms I know who are acting out the role--but, clearly show they don't want to be a mother....or act the way a mother should.

I have frankly never thought that a birth mom chose adoption because she didn't Want her baby.... I have always assumed that there was way more then I understand that would lead a mother to make this choice....

meredith

most people dont.

LaraSue

It makes it easier to discount them.

Tonia

I think most natural mothers may want to parent their children but feel as though they can't provide a good life for their child.

But, I'm sure there are also some natural mothers who simply do NOT want to be a full time parent and don't believe in abortion.

I'm not a natural mother, so these are my guesses. I would never pass judgement on ANY natural parent- unless in cases where child abuse is proven.

Sunny

Because then it makes it easier to take them.

red-haired gypsy

I think they stereotype us into what they have been brought up as children, that any one who gave their baby away is awful. I wanted to keep my child.I grew up in the past 18yrs. to become a great mom.

flippy_flop_girl

I don't think that birth mothers do not want their baby if they put it up for adoption.
I think most of them just cannot care for the child, and want their child to be able to have the best life possible. And they cannot give them that, and know it.

snowwillow20

I guess they aren't seeing the big picture, they are only seeing a mother who gives away her child.

Torrejon

I think the the vast majority of people like to believe that bmoms don't want to keep their children. That makes it easier to accept adoption. What kind of society would we be if we allowed children to be coerced away from their parents?

Laurel J

Because most people don't like the thought of taking a baby from someone who does want it. For some, it's much easier to think of the first mother as some heartless monster who doesn't love her own children than it is to deal with the reality of what adoption is and does.

H******

I've been told numerous times, this forum included, that my Mom didn't want me.

I found her this month and she tells me a different story.

I do wish people would stop telling adoptees they weren't wanted - it's not very nice and it's often untrue.

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