Why do people in this section make it seem like adoption is the worst thing someone can possibly do?

JustSomeone21

I totally agree with you. It's insane - and insulting. These people seek out questions to make themselves feel better about venting their rage. They seem to romanticize their birth parents because they feel disappointed by their adoptive parents.

Not every adoption is perfect. Sometimes women ARE talked into giving their child up. Sometimes a child MIGHT have been better with their birth parents. But in an overwhelmingly large amount of cases, the birth parents were unfit and unable to take care of a child, and more over, the adoptive parents are great, loving people who want a chance to love a child. How could that be wrong?

I believe that adoption can be a fantastic thing, and I know people who have been adopted and gone on to lead great, happy, successful lives, even though their biological parents aren't in the picture. If you're thinking about adopting and want to give a child a loving home, more power to you. Seriously. You're doing a wonderful thing, and ignore these negative, angry people who feel like the reason they hate their life is because they were adopted. They need time on a leather couch and anger management classes.

Ashley

I think the way you sound, you will be a GREAT parent to whatever child you get! I feel the same way. People on here can be VERY rude about someone adopting/fostering a child! I pray and hope that everything goes great for your journey of being a parent! My husband and I are currently in the process of researching whats best for our situation... But both of us will get there!

cathrl69

Well, when you consider adoption to be the worst thing that ever happened to you, you're likely to have a problem seeing it in a positive light.

Which is unfortunate. Some days I want to come in here, crack heads together, and shout "JUST BECAUSE IT WAS WRONG FOR YOU DOESN'T MEAN IT'S WRONG FOR EVERYBODY!!!"

I haven't read the other answers yet, but I bet you had strips torn off you for saying kids should be grateful for having a good home...even though this is something ALL kids should be grateful for and nothing to do with them being adopted. A big chunk of the "oh woe is me" comments on here really have nothing to do with adoption - they are the sort of family angst anyone could have.

Bella

I wasnâ€™t even aware that there were people who felt this way. But the minute I came to this section for once in my life I realized just how much unneeded bitterness there is in our world.
These adoptees grew up in stable homes and while there is war and poverty going on they cry and whine about having parents.

I will pray for you all and hopefully one day you will overcome your horrible bitterness and enjoy the life that Jesus has given you.

Also Nancy I am sitting at my computer applauding you.

Sunshine M

I don't know who you've seen being nasty about adoption. I can tell you that not everyone is anti-adoption. I think for some people, the idea is not pleasant. There are some fears that the adoptive parent might abuse the child or raise them in some way that the birth parent finds offensive. On the other hand, adoption can be a lifeline for the birth parent when they know they're not ready to provide a life for a child. When adoption works right, its a blessing for the child, as well as the adoptive parent(s) and the birth parent(s).

Mazaradi Man

I just know that in real life people think that I should be finding my real family and they think that I'm some emo guy because I don't care.

Serenity71

I can understand your int ital reaction. But please try not to be dismissive of their feelings even if you're not agreeing. Not everyone will agree with you either, but that's life and people how it goes. What I find here is often people are sharing one side of their story in an effort to answer a question, at times personal feelings and hurt can creep in and it becomes more a rant. If it happens only occasionally I'll over look it and read the part that's informative. All the time I've learned to ignore it, read between the lines if it's possible with an answer.

Yes some things are what happens in every family to one degree or another, adoption does have things that add to it at times if handled the wrong way over and over by Adoptive parents in the past. Look upon what adoptee's are saying as things that need to be addressed. And potential mistakes you can avoid. You won't get it all perfect, but some simple things can make a world of difference.

I am a person with a lot of gratitude in my life too, People around me know I feel that why by how I talk about things and people in my life. But I don't impose it on others by telling them to be grateful, it comes out negative and like you're telling them to 'shut up' and I don't want to hear. You know..."Eat you veggies kid, you should be grateful you have food on you're plate, kids like you are starving in Africa..." That might be true, but imposes something on your child that causes resentment, not encouragement.

In adoption... "You should just be grateful you have a home and a family, there are kids who spend their whole lives in orphanages unloved etc..." There's an undertone there, and its not a positive when its said out loud. While it may be true they could have been left in an orphanage, unloved and starving, but gratitude comes from within a person and how they feel about it and their life, can't make 'em see or feel it the way you do no matter how hard you try.

Take a course in emotional intelligence, its a great tool for raising children and relationships in your life. I recommend it to people I meet who are going into an adoption waiting list. Once you attend a course like that you'll have a greater understanding on issues that arise in adoption and how people incorrectly handle the emotions of others and children.

Anyway, I feel you might have just been shocked, that's all. Once you recover I'm sure you'll be fine.

All the best!

smarmy

Yawn, this again.

My problem is with the industry. If you can't understand that then you need to read more, because you haven't gotten to that part yet.

I loath everything they do, the way they do it, how they claim to be NON profit, and how they adamantly fight to keep records sealed, not for the privacy of surrendering mothers, not for the adoptive parents, not for the children, but to keep the lid on their own nasty practices.

Don't take it personally, I am against what they do to you too. Since when should a kid cost as much as a house? And don't tell me it's all paper work, that's a load of crap. There isn't that much paper work involved in 10 adoptions.

Google the 990 form of your favorite agency and see how non profit they are.

And yes my daughter got a good home with a happy life. That has nothing to do with it.

Ibn Zayd

Do you ever stop to wonder why there are "people all over the world dying because they DON'T have basic necessities like food and shelter"? Could it have anything to do with a particular country and that country's foreign policy, economic and political wars waged around the globe?

Some of us have moved back to our places of birth, and are living among these "people" (you seem to have too easy a time separating yourself from other "people", by the way), and are finding out that nothing that 'you" might have given us in any way makes the return trip easier, and are realizing that perhaps we were not meant to be absconded with in the first place.

And I say this with the complete support of my adoptive family in returning here, so we can probably forego the attempt to make those who speak out some kind of aberration; an exceptional case who has had a "bad experience", that you can ignore after you've defined it as irrational, or worse.

I'd like to ask a question: Why should we have to defend ourselves? How hard is it to be truly selfless, and make the changes in one's life that might actually help hundreds of children, and not just one? Are you ready to do that--or are you in it only for "your" kid?

å°é»ƒ

Wait.

The dumpster baby stereotype is still around? Sheesh. >.>

[I'm going to have an open adoption and let the bio-parents keep in touch as much as they want.]

When you actually start doing the open adoption, get back to us on that. It's not as easy as you make it seem - open adoption is complicated just like every other aspect of adoption. It just *sounds* less complicated.

Also, some adoptive parents feel as though they are giving more leeway to the parenting reins and decrease the amount of open adoption once they see how it works. Not saying you will - but you might find yourself surprised about how you feel regarding it.

[It's sad you may have had a bad experience]

Didn't have a bad experience. That doesn't mean I am a robot who believes everything wonderful about adoption must be true because someone else said it was.

Eg. "Your sister was not born specifically to replace you."

Well, she was born after me BECAUSE of my adoption. If that is not role-replacement, I don't know what is. Just because someone says it's not replacement doesn't mean that it isn't. See what I mean?

Just because someone says something is true doesn't make it true.

[but have you entertained the thought that maybe you, in general, are a depressed pessimist who focuses too much on the past?]

Oh silly me for viewing adoption objectively and having an opinion based on facts. My goodness, it's all my fault for failing to see all the greatness adoption has to offer. Isn't it?

I like how the adoptee's focus is deflected back upon themselves. It can't possibly be the system, now can it? It MUST be the adoptee's fault for failing to see how adoption is quick-fix for everything involved!

*cough*

The past is how we develop ourselves in the future.
And for those that are in orphanages, their past WILL become their future if they have no beginnings (that they know of).

The past is how we start. It enables us to understand the future.

And I'm not a depressed pessimist.

Quote:

"Being adopted allows people to either 1.) assume the worst of what might have happened to me or 2.) assume that my parents probably would have been neglectful, abusive, or somehow â€œless-thanâ€ than anything I was offered in my privileged adopted life."

ETA:

"Aka almost no child in america is raised by their "natural parents."

Since when? Last time I looked, the majority of the population was given assistance to raise their own biologically-related children.

ETA 2: "but I just hope they'll have the common sense to be grateful for at least having a family"

... I thought ALL children deserved a family? Your writing indicates it's a privilege as opposed to "growing up on the streets." Adoption isn't a privilege. ;)

ETA 3: "There are people all over the world dying because they DON'T have basic necessities like food and shelter."

It's not a privilege by adoption to have those things. They NEED basic necessities. Adoption should not indicate it's a privilege to those those things in comparison to growing up on the streets.

DevonChaos

You cannot know how your children will feel in the future. I'm sure if you asked my a-parents, they'd think I had no problem with my adoption. They did everything "right" as far as telling me about my adoption, and always saying that they had an open ear to lend if I had an issue. I was always uncomfortable talking to it about them, because I felt if I did say anything with a tinge of negativity to it, they would feel that I was being negative about THEM.
Your children might feel the same way. I do wish for them, that they are comfortable and happy. I wish that you would be more open minded. They came into this world and were bombarded with loss. They lost the only people that they knew anything about. This effects children, no matter how much we wish it didn't or wouldn't.
My opinion is that adoption usually doesn't need to happen. If there is abuse or neglect children shouldn't be in that situation, but I feel that the majority of newborn adoptions are unneeded.
You may have done research and feel that you understand, but until you have LIVED adoption (being adopted) you won't "get it".
No child should have to feel grateful that their basic needs are taken care of. Common sense? Common sense should tell you that a child shouldn't have to feel like they were "saved".
You sound angry. You sound defensive. I'm truly hoping that you go to therapy to deal with this, and that if your children need it, that you offer them therapy as well. I know I needed it. I have no shame for it. I still think adoption is an abomination.

Anha S

Like it or not, adoption has it's negatives. Adoption is a crapshoot, and there are no guarantees. Adoption is founded upon loss. The first family loses their child, and that child loses everything. Their family, identity, history, many times culture, and language as well. We are then handed a certificate that is a complete and utter lie, while in the majority of places, we have no right to look upon our originals, or any court documentation that pertains to us.

Negative opinions on adoption doesn't automatically indicate some sort of negative experience with AP. Mine was. I was adopted by an abusive mother and an absentee father who wasn't capable of standing up for us. That has no bearing on the fact that I hate that I lost my entire birthright. And it is incredibly dismissive of you to think otherwise.

Have you entertained the thought that perhaps you may want to sit down, read, and quite possibly learn something from those who have negative things to say about adoption, especially since you are the one who is standing to gain in this situation, and are left with the responsibility of raising an adopted child? When someone asks questions like this, and stomps their feet, and insists that anyone who speaks up against adoption must be <insert whatever here> in your case, a depressed pessimist who focuses too much on the past, I wonder how they will treat the coveted adopted child should they ever feel the need to voice any discontent in their story.

ETA Cycle, where are you getting your stats on almost no child being raised by natural parents? Because seriously, that would make for some interesting reading.

ETA2: You have no idea how your adopted kid will turn out. Just like I have no idea how mine will turn out and I had them myself. You don't get to decide how your child will feel, or how they should think. You seem to need to put people opposing adoption into this pretty little box that you can just put away and ignore. I think it's unfortunate though. I found it hard to talk to anyone about anything when I was choking on the grateful. And I don't know of many people who would be comfortable talking to someone with such an expectation of them in the first place. Nobody should have to be grateful for having a home, parents, food, and shelter. You aren't a savior here. And i don't think the majority of adoptees would have ended up on the streets, in dumpsters, or back alleys. We would have been raised by our natural families.

7rin

What, so we're not allowed to tell our own stories then? If you can tell your side of the story, why can't we tell our side? after all, we're the innocent party in all this. We're not the ones who chose to be torn away from our mothers, we're just the ones it happened to.

"""""My kids won't be like you, ever.
How'd you know they won't? You're already expecting them to be grateful for being taken away from the only thing they've ever known and ever loved, and now you're saying what they will and won't think.

Me finks you's gonna be in for a bit of a shock, 'cause even those of us with the best afamilies in the world (and mine really is) can still come out of it deeply screwed up.

Isabel A

"I'm prepared and willing to listen to whatever my kids have to say about being adopted, but I just hope they'll have the common sense to be grateful for at least having a family that loves them as opposed to growing up on the streets."

Wow, you would actually tell a child to be grateful to grow up with you because they could have been out in the street? That's the story you would present? Really?!!!

What a house of horrors you will create for your adoptlings.

And you are sadly misinformed, most infant adoptees never risk the chance of being in the street. Infants in America are a hot commodity. Perhaps YOU are the one who should be feeling grateful for being given a chance to parent a child..

I for one am just glad I was adopted by people who never expected me to be grateful or tried to compare my existence with life in the proverbial streets. That kind of talk to any child should be considered child abuse.

Horrid...just horrid.

I truly feel sorry for any child who would have to be raised like that.
Talk about a "bad experience" THAT is one of the worst.

celtic.piskie

"you really should consider therapy. My kids won't be like you, ever."

So you've already decided how they will feel, how they will think, and they aren't allowed to express any feelings contrary to your opinion.

You would make a crappy parent.

Children are supposed to be loved for who and what they are.
Not what you want them to be.

Let them have their own feelings and opinions instead of deciding for them.

Pip

"Why do people in this section make it seem like adoption is the worst thing someone can possibly do?"

No they don't, they try to educate and speak from personal experience. If you don't like somebody's opinion or honesty then accept it's not how you see adoption. Attacking people such as PhilM is plain nasty not constructive and who do you think you are to suggest he has therapy. And how do you know how your children will turn out?

"You people make it seam like you're better off throwing your baby in a dumpster than putting it up for adoption to a loving family."

That's just insulting the intelligence of everybody here. I was coerced into surrendering my child but if I hadn't I would have parented not thrown him a dumpster. People make suggestions to expectant mothers here on how they can get help and support to parent their child. I have yet to see anybody suggest that throwing a baby into a dumpster is better than adoption.

"I'm going to be an adoptive parent, and I'm not evil. I'm going to have an open adoption and let the bio-parents keep in touch as much as they want."

Before you adopt I hope and pray your attitude changes for the better. I also hope that if you do adopt that you will stand by an open adoption agreement. I don't think you're evil but I do believe you're hugely misguided.

"It's sad you may have had a bad experience, but have you entertained the thought that maybe you, in general, are a depressed pessimist who focuses too much on the past?"

I, like others here, speak as it is for us where adoption is concerned. Yes I did have a bad experience, yes I do suffer with depression but now you're touching on dangerous ground. I don't like your assumption that I, for example, a depressed pessimist who focusses too much on the past. My past has affected me and the person I have become. I cannot forget the past as I haven't raised my chil. I have seen how adoption has affected my son and it isn't nice as he has issues. If mothers such as me and adoptees don't talk about the negatives of adoption then nobody gets educated.

Adoption is forever and it is a life sentence. I'm not saying my son would have had a better life being raised by me, it would have been different. Instead he has issues because of adoption made worse by finding out I wanted to parent but was bullied and lied into surrendering. Unfortunately coercion still happens so more mothers need to speak out.

I hope by the time you adopt you're not so judgemental of people who speak out about their own experiences.

I have been able to work through my issues, I have moved on and am happy that I am in reunion but the pain of not raising my son will stay until the day I die.

H******

Obviously, you're on the receiving end of the 'gift'

You think you can speak for us, but you can't. And to attempt to equate one's feelings about one area of life with how one feels about one's entire life is just a sign of true stupidity on your part.

I'm not at all obsessed with "one moment in time" (as if that's all it were, anyway.) I am, however, quite involved with changing the laws that affect adopted citizens for a lifetime, despite that "one moment."

Go throw insults at genealogists and tell 'em they're living in the 'past'

Try having your original identity sealed away for your lifetime and see what 'experience' you have with attempting to access the truth of your own origins

(yes, the birth records are sealed even in 'so-called open adoptions' Your

Ferbs

Good for you. Clap clap clap. I'm sure you're not evil either. But you are quick to jump all over ONE type of opinion.

But don't judge based on a few answers. If you actually read the answers given...you will find most people have issues with the adoption process, not adoption. And for those that do...so what? Why does that make you more enlightened than they are?

And who are you to assume that people in whose shoes you will never be in...are not entitled to their feelings?

If you think that way...you will not only treat a potential birth mother like a second-class person, you will miss the signs, if any come, that your child is struggling or needing questions answered.

Perhaps if you adjust your attitude...you can contribute to the conversations. And be ready to adopt.

People here will be extreme one way or another....but stick to the reasonable answers (even if they don't agree with you) and you will learn a lot about how adoption affects everyone.

One thing for sure. No matter how one becomes a parent...you can't predict everything about the outcome of the children's lives. Especially with adoption.

EDIT: Maybe we all should have let the Added Details come up first...it does a better job of highlighting your challenges than we ever could!

AnnaBelle isn't a parent yet (again...just reading a little bit more before yapping away...sigh)...but she just might be the best one one day. :)

SJM

So you're thinking of adopting? How special. I've been living adoption probably longer than you've been living, yet you think you have all the answers. You must be really, really smart. Come back in 18 years and let us all know how it came out, would you, please?

Honest & Sober

"You people make it seam like you're better off throwing your baby in a dumpster than putting it up for adoption to a loving family."

These children dont come from poor enough white mums for the agencies to red flag them.

"I'm going to be an adoptive parent, and I'm not evil."

Kudos for you for wanting to be an adoptive parents. If your smart enough to never use physical, emotional and verbal abuse on your future adopted children then good luck. Your not evil? Does any psychologist support that claim and are they willing to email a signed declarative statement.

"... in general, are a depressed pessimist who focuses too much on the past?"

You have heard of the quote by George Santayana: "Those
who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." Do you trust everyone in the world to do the right thing by you? You learn by your own experiences and from being exposed to others stories.

If you stay here long enough you'll see some idiotic statements. Like the one that promoted the idea that the majority of natural parents are child abusers and that if adoption were increased their would be no child abused. Or the ones that assume that because they know thousands of adoptees they know adoption. Or this one, all the adoptees they know havent and dont want to search for their original perants and all live exceptionally happy lives. Seriously do these people know everything and I mean everything about all of their friends?

"I have sat down and done extensive reading and research. The vast majority of you people who strongly oppose adoption ARE overly negative people."

For someone who has done extensive reading and research on adoption why do you still believe in the misconception if children werent adopted they ALL would be growing up on the streets.

To be a pro-adopter it means one thing. You only support closed adoptions. Why? Well firstly according to the pro-adopters open adoptions encourages women to have abortions. Obviously if women are aborting there are less children to be adopted. And well we cant have that.

Secondly closely tied with number 1, closed adoption means women can have any number of children and give them up. The birth remains a secret between her and the state forever. No PII or medical histories are passed on. Blank state! I know sounds delusional but some do think like that.

Under closed adoptions adoptive parents come first and foremost. The welfare of the children comes last. So you can understand when it comes to adoption especially closed adoptions people can get a little bit upset. But it doesnt stop the ignorant from promoting it. You still see the dumb promoting illegitimate web sites.

"I'm prepared and willing to listen to whatever my kids have to say about being adopted, but I just hope they'll have the common sense to be grateful"

Children don't have a choice in being born or being adopted. You should be grateful to the child and their original mother. As adoptive parents your obligated to say how grateful you are each and everyday. If we adoptees are expected to be grateful so should you. We want you to tell us how grateful you are for having the change to be a parent. Without us you'd never have the change to be a parent. You'd be that old cat lady nobody loves or likes.

"maybe - I for one am grateful for everything I have. There are people all over the world dying because they DON'T have basic necessities like food and shelter."

and yet you still play a willing and active role in their deaths without a second thought.

Remember this is the adoption section. If you cant handle the truth from those actually involved in adoption than f*ck off. Your not going to get the Disneyland answers simply because you demand it. We live in the real world not la la land.

@Cycle

Many kids for the last 1/2 century have grown up as latchkey kids. They have no parent at all to come home too. The problem has been getting worse each year and surprise, surprise it doesnt just happen in natural families as it also occurs just as often with adoptive families.

kateiskate is getting married

Maybe you need to unbunch your panties and take a chill pill sister!

First of all, no one says anyone should throw their babies in dumpsters. In fact the only person saying that is you. Second, how do you know for sure those kids that escaped the dumpster will go to a "loving" family?

Yeah that's right. You don't.

Also, what kind of bad experiences did YOU have that lead you to be such a nasty little **** with a bad attitude and no empathy? Must have been tough. Maybe you should seek therapy instead of spewing hatred towards adopted people.

Have YOU entertained the thought that YOU are a depressed pessimist who focuses too much on negative things?

There are really two sides to every story. No one should have to be grateful for having a family that loves them. No one should be grateful for basic human dignity.

eta: "you don't even know me!" You don't know us either cupcake.

maybe

Your children will have no obligation to be grateful for food and shelter. Those things are not extras, they are basic human rights that all people are entitled to - no gratitude required.

Andraya - Snark's Sister

Oh calm down princess.

Nobody is telling anyone to throw a baby in a dumpster. What some people are saying is that a child is better off with their natural family if at all possible, barring that option they are better with extended family members and if that is not possible adoption should be a last resort.

BTW this little rant of yours is kinda dumbster.

Cambria

"I just hope they'll have the common sense to be grateful for at least having a family that loves them as opposed to growing up on the streets."

It's BS statements like this that help turn adoptees into "depressed pessimists"

I feel sorry for your children.

Mel

My issues with adoption can be summed up in your answer.

No one thinks that my daughter (who was born to me) should be grateful for food, clothing, a home, and family who loves her. It is my job to provide those as her mother and it is her job as a kid to not to have to not have to worry about those things. The only thing she has to do it grow up and be who she wants to be.

Now, if I had placed her for adoption as I was considering, she would be expected to feel grateful that she has those things. Why should she be grateful when it was I who made the choice, and the APs who made the choice. She should have the same concerns she had with me, not being grateful to someone who made the choice to adopt.

No child should ever have to be grateful to have their needs met. It should be something expected and hopefully taken for granted.

AnnaBelle

Adoption is much more complex than you are realizing. Please understand that I am also a potential adoptive parent, but to become indignant at the mere mention of adoption being less than perfect may be an indicator of your readiness to parent an adopted child. It is not the same as parenting a biological child. No less rewarding, but with different issues and considerations, particularly for your child.

Private newborn adoption is wrought with all kinds of issues, like corruption and coercion. Google "Baby Scoop Era" to get an idea of how it started. While the BSE is technically over with, many agencies still resort to underhanded tactics to convince women to surrender children that they can, and want to, feasibly parent. You should also read "The Girls who Went Away" by Ann Fessler. It will rip your heart out, but you will then understand the disdain that many people have for domestic newborn adoption.

These adoptions also come with their fair share of pain for the adoptee...Having never known their original family, they are left with unanswered questions, and an amended birth certificate, to boot. In many states in the U.S., it is impossible to retrieve one's original birth certificate, even in adulthood. Would you like to be denied access, legally, to your OWN information? Does that make sense to you?

International adoption is a whole other can of worms...I will let those more qualified speak to it, since my knowledge in this area is limited, but corruption is alive and well in this area also, giving little consideration to the adoptee or their original family. Many of these adoptions are done simply to meet the needs of adoptive parents, whether these parents realize it or not. Again, please do more reading on the complexities of this.

I am adopting through foster care. I'm not implying that FC adoption is without moral dilemma 100% of the time, but it carries out the mandate that adoption should be about meeting the needs of the child, not the parent, which I appreciate.

I know these things might be hard to hear in early stages of adoption planning, but please educate yourself, and be willing to hear the hard stuff, or you will be doing your future children a GREAT disservice.

ETA: Cycle: Sorry if I can't help you out by being part of the problem, but *I* think that it is better to be prepared, from all sides, before taking on something as monumental as parenting, rather than sprinkling fairy dust and hoping for the best.

I am over myself, which is why I am not a card-carrying "Adoption is Wonderful!" adoptive parent. And for the record, I have not adopted yet, so you would be correct; I am NOT the best adoptive parent in the world. ;-)

My kids will feel loss. For me to deny that would be putting my needs ahead of theirs. Is that what a mother does?

ETA2: " I'm prepared and willing to listen to whatever my kids have to say about being adopted, but I just hope they'll have the common sense to be grateful for at least having a family that loves them as opposed to growing up on the streets."

Let me be crystal clear: Your kids owe you NOTHING. They did not choose to be adopted. It is unlikely, especially if adopted from infancy, that they would have "grown up on the streets". There are far more waiting parents than surrendered infants, so please don't think you are rescuing anyone. Even if adopt through international adoption or foster care, YOU ultimately are choosing to adopt, NOT them! They do not owe you a debt of gratitude.

blank stare

Have you entertained the thought that maybe you, in general, are a rose-colored glasses wearing, loss-denying, self-absorbed person who dismisses the pain and loss of others? I feel sorry for any children you adopt if you can so easily dismiss their pain.

And once again, for the record, no bad experience here. Except adoption itself. Adoption IS the bad experience. And you want to visit it on more children.

If you can't understand the nuance of the anti-adoption position, at least quit throwing up straw-men arguments to object to.

Remember, your future kids will be me one day.

ETA: I'm sorry, what do you know about my life? Why do you think it's been hard? I don't think it's been hard. How do you know me so well?

And how do you know your kids won't be like me? See, this underscores the very problem in your thinking. You believe that environment causes and solves all problems. Boy, do adoptees (in general) have news for you. You see, environment does not determine 100% of who we are. Nowhere is that clearer than in adoption.

You lack empathy. Instead of owning that, you blame others for your inability to empathize. That's why you are going to be a lousy parent.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: