should i put my baby up for adoption?

Zita

if you have good supportive family and if your boyfriend also is having good family . and you plan to depend on them for they help then you should talk to all of them and see what people who support you will say , If you do not have that kind of support you should give baby for adaptation .and make sure you take good care of yourself after that and take counseling some kind

Lost the last season

youre a troll and if this is true then yes you sound like a very bad mom

MusicalDisaster

Yes. You are an irresponsible human being.

The Mrs.

Please don't listen to the people telling you adoption is wrong. Adoption may or may not be right for you, but that decision is up to you. You need to decide what is best for you, and your baby. Talk with your parents, and your boyfriend and come to a decision together. Good luck to you!

Katie

If you're posting a question on the future of your child, I think the entire community is calling out for adoption.

And to address the second point, you stated that your boyfriend wants you to keep the baby. But let's get this straight.

Who's having the baby, you or your boyfriend? And is he going to shave off all his social time, Fridays, and weekends to come over to your house and nurse the baby for hours on end? Is he going to help you take care of the baby during the night, and financially support the child when growing up?

Most likely, the answer's no to the majority or all of the questions.

Don't only consider your situation, but consider your baby's future life as well.

Miranda

Hey! My Name is Miranda! I am 21 years old! I have three kids of my own, and at first I thought I COULDNT DO IT! I was so scared that I thought about adoption to! I did up to the day they were born! I know how you feel its a hard choice to make! The only thing is just dont jump into adoption til after you had the baby! Its one thing to be pregnant and think you know what you want. Do whats best for your child if you do choose adoption, let family, or anyone you have looked into alot and yuknow they are a good family but consider open adoption so you can see your child grow up with visiting him or her whenever you like.

Ranchmom1

I think if you believe this is the best thing for you and your baby, then yes. Unless your boyfriend wants to raise the baby on his own, and that is his choice, you can definitely consider adoption for your little one. There are many options available and you can choose the parents you want to raise him or her. It can work out really well for both of you, it did for me as an infant and for our oldest daughter whom we adopted after a horrific childhood with a mother who wasn't ready or able to parent her.

chafarm123

This is a personal and private decision you should make with a counsellor. There are many wonderful families who would love and raise your baby and he would be well cared for, but children also do best with the people who "made them", allowing them to see similarities in their own relatives. You need some careful and gentle counselling. Best wishes.

Sarah C

16 is really young and it would be really difficult to provide for the baby not just physical needs but emotionally. How old is the father? I would encourage you to contact an agency with counseling. It is hard to find a good agency that is not going to use you and your baby to make money but just pray that your heart will guide you to someone with a pure heart to help walk you through adoption options or choosing to parent. There are plenty of wonderful christian families who are waiting to adopt a baby that could provide a stable loving family that would still send you pictures and updates on the baby if you want them. In that way you can feel assured that your baby is cared for and loved but you don't have to grow up so fast and hopefully someday get married and then have a family of your own. My prayers and heart go out to you! I would love to help you find a trustworthy agency if you need the help, just let me know.

Wow, seriously please stop listening to these people, it's horrible that you want to put this child up for adoption, i know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it's LIVING, it's YOUR child, you should have been ready for the consequences. Think about if you were a baby and your mom left you in some home or for strangers, get some parenting classes, get some help, and please please please keep the baby. You might not sound that great right now but find a place in your heart to let this child be something one day. How could an own mother abandon her child.

Jessica Leix

i'm 14 and was left in a telephone booth in china to be found. (it's illegal in china to have more than 1 kid, and i'm a girl and chinese women are supposed to have boys because they are stronger to work). I was only 2 weeks old then (found in April), and I was adopted in August. Ever since I've been VERY sad and sometimes very depressed that i don't and ever will know them. Depending on if you have the money, a kind boyfriend, support from friends and family, then I wouldn't put my kid up for adoption. If you do however, decide to, I'd put him/her up for adoption, but you should ask the adoptive parents to allow you to get to know and meet the child as he/she grows up. because of my experience and some hurt i've been through because of it, i'd never put my kid up for adoption. but since you're only 16, i might suggest that you do put it up for adoption, but i think you should stay in your child's life still, through phone calls (when he/she's older obviously) , emails and visits.

Princess Cherbs

NOOOOOOO!
Keep the baby, and raise the baby as a MOTHER. You will always regret it otherwise.

friend

Hon, it is your decision and yours only.. I'm a mother to 2 and it is hard.. I'm 34 years old and its really hard.. I can't even imagine being 16 and having a baby.. SO you do what you think is best for your baby.. Adoption is a wonderful thing.. My last son he is adopted and i love him just as I love my biological son.. There is nothing more special than birth mom's out there in this world.. They make a couple a family or help others add to their family... So what ever you decision is make sure that you decide what you want in adoptive parents and what kind of contact you want.. You can have open, closed, semi-open just make sure you know everything you need to know about adoption if thats what you choose..

Pip

Either parent or abort. Imagine in 18+ years your child finding out he/she was adopted because you thought it was too much work and you didn't have the time to be a parent. Imagine how much more your child would feel knowing that their father wanted you to be raised by them. It's an incredibly selfish attitude to have and it's wrong to deliberately make a child an adopteee.

My son has major issues with being adopted (I was coerced) and he blames everybody else for his mistakes in life despite being 28 and old enough to take responsibility for his own actions. Yet he's had a good life, is much loved and knows the truth why he was adopted, that I had wanted to be a parent. So imagine an adoptee who is unhappy and knowing he was wanted by his mother then imagine an adoptee finding out his/her mother had the attitude you've got.

bella

If you aren't ready to be a mother (full time job) then I think you should. There are alot of things to consider about having a baby. Money, time, help, etc. Although he wants to keep it, do you really think you two will be together in the long run? Many factors to consider.

But from the sound of your post, I think it would be best to give the baby up for adoption. It might be best for the baby and his/her quality of life.

Hope this helps.

Shawna

umm its up to you but you do have to rember one thang if you put it up you cant go back dont go to a adopting agecice tho email and ill explain more (:

lovnfamily

Maybe you could consider an open adoption. We have an open adoption with our son's birthmom & she was a single mom & really could not take care of another child & made the most unselfish decision to turn a bad situation into something good & gave us the gift of life & becoming parents. She could have tried to make it on her own but she made a brave decision to give the baby a better life. There are people that may not understand that or tell you that you should do it no matter what but you have to do what is best for YOU! If you want to read more about our family here is our website: http://sotoadoptionjourney.blogspot.com/

-YourMom-

If you dont want to raise babies, don't do it.

sarah

Sorry, That's a decision you are going to have to make for yourself.

Jess Jeff

Sweety, This choice is seriously a very hard decision. My cousin is 17 and has a 10 month old. She has dropped out of school moved in with her boyfriend and his mother. She ended things at her house when the baby was 4 months old and burned the bridge when she moved out. Her parents refuse to take her back into their home and now her boyfriend and her broke up and he has kicked her and his child out. She is living with her friend until she is able to find a place on her own. She is thinking about her legal options with her 10 month old because she wants to graduate high school etc.

My cousin is not regretting the fact that she kept her child because she loves her very much, but she wants her daughter to have a stable home. Think about what is best for your child. If you put the baby up for adoption you wouldn't be a bad parent for doing so. If you keep the baby you wouldn't be a bad parent. You have 6 months to make your decision and I'm sure plenty of people will respond to your question with opinions for you. With reading what you have already stated... You need to make the decision for yourself and what you believe will be best for the baby. Talk to a school counselor or teacher that you trust and really weigh the options about what will be best for you and the baby. If you need any help I'm here for you anytime via email... jeffjess828@yahoo.com

I am helping my little cousin with her situation because she wants to keep her child and not lose her baby girl. I may be able to provide you with things that you may not have thought about. Let me know if you need any help. I have never been pregnant but I have helped several friends and family members through this decision and I am wanting to help you through it as well.

cole

dont listen to these negative idiots!! life can throw curve balls at you and i think if it feels right then do it follow your heart and not the unkind words of other people!! i am looking to adopt a child and i think it gives other people hope to have children if they cant actually have children like my self!!! do what you feel is best not only for you but also for the life you are creating.

MÃ¼ge

It is your baby.You can keep it.Your and your bf's parents can take care of it and they will help you.It would be so hard to give it away.

mrshamilton06

No-one but you can make this choice. However many states have implemented paternal rights. SO he could take you to court and contest the adoption. Discuss why you want an adoption with him. Make pro/con lists for parenting, abortion, and adoption. All have their hardships and their perks.

I found out i was preggo just after i turned 16. I too did not want the responsibility of a child. The Father wanted to keep our baby but he was into drugs and not willing to quit. I know i could have been a parent. I know i would have done well as a parent but i also knew that there were people out there who could not have kids that were in a better position than me. I will tell you tho that while i knew what i planned the entire time i was pregnant, after holding that child in my arms it was the hardest thing i have ever done. Keep strong contact an agency in your area and talk. Bethany Services is a great agency. Or find a non involved person to talk to. An unbiased counsler, non-family member. someone to talk out your feelings with who does not have a personal interest in the situation.

PrissyPippaLou

I wish the best for you and your child during this hard time. You will know what's right in your heart. Please ignore the horrible mean people on here saying mean things to you. they are pathetic people who have nothing better to do than put people down to make themselves feel better. I can promise you that each one of them have made unwise choices at one time in their life and asked for help dealing with the consequences. You are brave to reach out for help and not tuck it inside, that will Only make you depressed. See if you can get some support from friends and family on your question, they will be able to offer better advise because they know you and your situation. Good Luck Dear.

ngangtraicuacuocdoi

16 is young yes, BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!,what if your mum think the same way as you now, you wouldn't have your parents now. Be a responsible mum, trust me, you will love motherhood life. Only if you are a party animal type.....( you know what i mean??? huh).

PLEASE DONT ADOPT YOUR CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sunsetdrunk

Absolutely NO! Let the baby decide. I know who he/she will decide for parents.

tish_part deux

*sigh* another child failed by abstinence only...

1- you can not place the baby without your boyfriend's consent. so, if he is not willing, it's a no go.
2- abortion is always an option (no comments from the "fetus-philes", please!)
3- it is work, so is healing from a pregnancy, delivery and missing your baby.
4- i think you need to speak with a level-headed adult (not someone from an adoption agency) and gets some perspective.

oh...accidents happen. so let's try to prevent this next time, by using a proper form of contraception and condoms.

be well...

ps. do NOT respond to people emailing you telling you about 'THEIR' issues (my husband and i can't have babies..." blah, blah). your untimely pregnancy should not be used a a means to help someone have the baby they can't have on their own. ironically, most of these people would probably not care one way or the other, if they could have their own baby.) in other words, think about YOU, YOUR PARTNER, AND YOUR PREGNANCY/BABY( if you decide to carry to term). everything else, is secondary.

also...OPEN ADOPTION IS A BIG FAT SCAM... it's not legally enforceable. that means, the family can 'agree' to it, then change their mind when you sign the papers. that means you can be cut out forever.

Naii

Not as soon as born. see how it goes first. im 14 and was adopted at 3 months. My mum was 14 when she had me and stuck it out for 3 months with no boyfriend. so if i was you i would try at least. xx

love my life

This is a decision only you can make. You and your boyfriend need to talk about this a lot. You still have plenty of time to decide what is right for you and the baby. But if he doesn't want the child adopted then he does have the right to raise the child himself. Since legally both parents have to sign for the adoption to take place. If you really don't want to parent the child then you need to express those feelings to the father and see what the two of you can decide on together. Have you talked to your parents to see what they think, both his and yours. No one can make you parent the child if you don't want to, and it would be wrong of them to try to force you to. And it is equally wrong for anyone to push abortion at you as some on here will do
You may also find that as you get farther into your pregnancy that your feelings may change. You can't put the baby up for adoption until after it is born so you still have time to see what is right for you

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: