why do people think adoption is wrong?

Shitfaced J

The reasons why I want to adopt are wrong.

A Leo _n_ OH@yahoo.com

;-/ Should'nt be taken away even if abused ??? "DO NOT EVER PAY ANY ATTENTION TO SOME DUMB *** PERSON WHEN THEY SAY,write,type something that <as'i'nine> ~!!!!. That's saying loudly that some truly do not care what takes place with those young lives !?! ;-'{ Well I guess that also HELPS explain why so0O MANY people in this world are hungry still !!!. If this problem was truly being dealt with,handled or fixed we might not see so0 often of things asking that those who can & or want to to please donate money,food,time.,. Old clothing to be fixed for instance zippers,buttons etc. so they can be donated to the UNITED WAY!?! Or rather to the GOODWILL/store HOW CAN THAT BE WRONG TO GIVE OR LEND A HELPING HAND WHEN POSSIBLE !?!>{Give peace a chance}<~!!!. rRr

Jessica L

I have adopt my oldest daughter out to a good friend of mine, b/c she was very sick and i couldn't take care of her and hurts for me to admit that but scents then i have other children. I do not think that it is wrong at all. I think that it is more of a woman to admit that there is a problem and can't take care of a child then to abuse or bet one. I feel like if there is a child i could help i would. I love my children with all of my heart and i feel if i can't take care of them the way they should be then i would adopt them out. I believe in adoption. My daughter is in a very loving home, that her adoption mother couldn't have children, and no i didn't abuse her, but i am happy with the decision i made because she is alive and well. I would love to help child in homes that they aren't feed or have the things they need. I am a vern believer that child are little angles sent from god.They need love. so if that is how they get it i believe they where not meant to be a mother or father punching bad, Yes i do get very emotional on this subject b/c of my daughter. But eight years ago i had a choose to give to my friend and help her or let her suffer.. my choose was a very good one.. I hope i could help you some on your question but i am a believer in adoption.

adoption is a sin

Adoption is wrong because no one is entitled to other peoples kids and people who want to break up families are sick, period.

crabbypatty

Adoption is not wrong if it is done through the correct channels. If you are going through a proper adoption agency. it is wrong if it is child trafficking and people just trying to make money.

Paris

I dont think its wrong but i do think its wrong that you have to pay so much. My neighbor adopted a child and it cost $20000.

Victors momma

If they are abused of course they should be taken away but its messed up when parents give them away like pets "just because" and back it up with thousands of ridiculous excuses. I just don't like people neglecting their child but I know some kids are better off with another family. My nephew is adopted and has a great life I just would feel sad if I knew that my mother just gave me away. I also think that the system a.k.a DCF rips families apart way too fast.

cricketlady

I for one don't believe that adoption is wrong if done for the right purposes----to truly want a child and a child needs a loving family.
My answer for the abused child would be to call the hot-line and report a Suspected case of child abuse, I would not hesitate to get involved. Lots of people stand on the sideline and do Nothing when they Know exactly what is going on.

Olivia

Some people just don't understand how someone could love a child that is not their birth-chilid. Yet the love is just as real as the love my mother has for me, and I think that, because two strangers can re-create something so natural, it is even more beautiful for that reason.

Some people, like you said, believe children should not be 'taken away', but sometimes they must be in order to protect them. Sure the child may have problems because of this but I'm sure being raised in a disfunctional family (at best) would be worse for them

Proudly Atheist

Do you think adoption will be wrong if a minor loses his mom and dad? I mean who would take care of the minor in that case?

Walter Ford II

What does your source say about children that are not beaten or neglected by their parents that just need a job or aid. Why are women coerced out of raising their baby's in utero or are having them outright kidnapped from their family's who don't have the means to fight the corrupt Adoption machine.

That pretty much sums up infant and international adoption which is pretty much what the masses off adopters are participating in today.

Kids that are over the age of 3 that have been removed due to abuse & intentional neglect are not the kiddies being adopted. They are being labeled damaged by the industry participants.

"Lots of people stand on the sideline and do Nothing when they Know exactly what is going on."
----Exactly Cricket and that goes for the majority of Paps/Aps that are trying to get the child they feel they are entitled to, despite that the children they want are not even orphans,abused or neglected.

Ferbs

The famous source or link:
http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AhOm5XLw3Eod3KM0smdIzcrBFQx.;_ylv=3?qid=20090815210452AAPDubF&show=7#profile-info-vNSKG4aiaa

The poster doesn't speak for most human beings

cruzgirlz3

I think adoption is necessary in some cases. But losing a family is not a good thing no matter how great the new one is. That's what a lot of people here are saying...let's change the discussion that centers around how happy adoption is for those who become parents through it, to include discussion about the losses involved for baby and mother....and the families involved.

TOObadSOsad

well many adoptees do not kno anything about their first parents or brothers or sisters and they have alot of problems bc their old medical and adoption records are destroyed, so they have no way to even trace anything. my aparents gave me all of my documents and helped me find my first mom bc i was curious but if they didnt i might be very mad too. also with some international adoptions the babies are really kidanpped and then when they are adopted out they loose their language and culture. so these bad examples are why some adoptions are wrong, but what u r talking about is more like foster care with abuse and i dont get why ppl would think those cases are wrong, that is just crazy!

Cambria

Good lord. I don't recall a single question where people said children who were being abused or neglected should remain with their abusive/neglecting parents. Not a single one. If you know of one, please put the link up.

People here who are against the other types of adoption are against them because 1-the coercive and unethical practices 2-the fact the people for some reason insist on thinking adoption is a happyhappy story for everyone involved and 3-because we have lived through it.

snowwillow20

No one said adoption is wrong if the child is being abused. It serves a purpose if it's in the best interests of the child, ie abuse. It is always best if a family member can take the child and care for it.

AnnaBelle

OK, so, to be fair, I have read what you are referring to, but it was a troll, I think, and not a regular poster. None of the regulars here would advocate the perpetuity of child abuse. This person was probably just trying to say something incendiary to get people going, and you posting this question probably gave them exactly the reaction they were looking for. No offense. Just being honest.

That said, Dustin is 100% correct that proving abuse is next to impossible. Children are rarely believed. In my own personal experience, as a child, one of my abusers was eventually charged, but it was because there were 2 other corroborating stories. Had I been alone in my experience, I may have been out of luck. The justice system where I live generally errs on the side of caution, and many, many abusers walk free. As far as parents, the same tends to apply...it is usually assumed that children are lying unless there is OVERWHELMING evidence to the contrary. Which is sad, since it is much less common for children to lie about abuse than the general public might believe. Especially about their parents, since children, even abused children, have overwhelming fear about being separated from their parents, which makes the odds of them reporting abuse to ANYONE much slimmer.

In any case, to answer your question, there are several different types of adoption. The type of adoption that we are generally speaking about on this board is private, for profit adoption. This involves money changing hands for children, and children being unnecessarily placed for adoption from parents who have not abused them, but may be lacking in financial resources, or may be young and unmarried. This is an unnecessary adoption, in my opinion, since a small amount of support would prevent something as drastic and traumatic as adoption.

Adoption for children who have been abused or profoundly neglected is a different scenario. Some of the issues cross over, like loss, sealed records, etc., but ultimately, adoption is supposed to be for children, not parents. Children growing up in foster care should not happen, but likewise, children should not be separated friom their families over something as minor as marital status.

On a personal note, private adoption offends my sensibilities for a number of reasons. I have a huge issue with the purchase of children and the unnecessary separation of families, but I also have a problem with people paying thousands of dollars for a "healthy white infant", waiting years (since the ratio of waiting parents to newborns is about 40:1, give or take) when there are so many kids in foster care waiting. One would think that if a person wanted to be a parent so badly, that they would recognize the plight of the roughly 100 000 kids who are waiting for families.

So, I hope that explains some of what you're reading, and puts it in context. No rational person believes that children should be abused. That's just crazy. But the trolls are out in full swing this weekend, and are saying things that are meant to be provocative.

smarmy

Your focusing on the wrong aspects of adoption. All you're seeing is the end result, baby goes from one mother to another. There is much more to it than that. I am against the "Industry of Adoption" as it is practiced today. The Supply and Demand or it. The stealing, lying, secrets, damage, and PROFIT associated with adoption is what I'm against. Corruption, coercion, child trafficking, falsified birth certificates, no birth certificates, deportation for being adopted. The violation of civil rights adoption causes.

I never read where anyone said children should stay with abusive parents and continue to be abused on a regular basis. Maybe your interpretation is being slanted based on the other things you have read and don't understand. Adoption is not all wonderful rainbows and happy families. There is a very real dark side to adoption that most people just don't want to know about.

Pip

What answers are you referring to?

Nobody, as far as I'm aware, that regularly answers here supports children being raised by abusive parents. They may suggest an alternative to adoption but nobody disputes that a child should be removed from abusive parents. I, for example, think legal guardianship is a good alternative to adoption as the child retains their original name and birth certificate.

What answerers generally object to are the unnecessary adoptions which are generally infant adoptions as they/I believe the mother should be encouraged and supported in raising her child.

The two are completely different and shouldn't be confused

this question is getting so freaking old.

Do a search on your question in Yahoo Answers you see a ton of the EXACT same question.

I don't think anyone in their right mind would say that a child shouldn't be taken away in cases of abuse and neglect.

Kari N

It's the fact that a child has been taken from their families and most importantly, their mothers to satisfy the needs of someone else. Unnecessary, coercive adoptions are damaging to everyone involved. However, most adoptions that result from the necessary termination of parental rights are typically looked on with favor. I don't feel that adoption is wrong, only that it should be a last resort and only in situations of abuse, neglect or an unwavering desire to surrender by the mother.

Theresa

Please provide a reference where people said that children should not be taken away from abusive parents.

As far as answering the remainder of your question, if you had been reading through here and paying attention, you wouldn't have to ask. The question has been asked and answered a million times over.

Here is a brief synopsis that I'm copying and pasting from one of my prior answers:

1.) Background -- The purpose of adoption is to find families for children that need them. However, the way adoption is currently practiced has turned into finding babies for couples that want them. Because there are far more infertile couples than there are available infants, adoption has become a multi-billion dollar a year industry, with no oversight, that is rife with corruption.

http://www.divinecaroline.com/22095/39669-national-council-adoption--mothers--money-

2.) Discrimination -- In domestic adoption, adoptees are denied their own birth certificates upon reaching adulthood. Original identity is a basic human right, and to deny one class of citizens access to their birth certificates while all others can get this record is discrimination.

http://www.adopteerights.net

3.) Racism -- In the United States, infants are sold on a sliding scale based on race, with Caucasian babies fetching the highest prices, and African American babies costing 75% less on average.

3.) Corruption -- In international adoption, because of the demand for young healthy infants, organized crime and coercive agents routinely target poor areas, and either trick mothers into surrendering their babies, or outright kidnap them and then sell the infants to baby brokers who in turn pass the babies on to orphanages, again for a "finder's fee".

http://adoptionnewsfeed.blogspot.com/search/label/adoption%20corruption

4.) Loss and Invalidation --- Adoption begins with tragedy - the loss of a family, of a culture, heritage, sometimes religion, and for mothers the loss of a child. Yet both mothers of adoption loss and adoptees are expected to pretend that there is no loss involved.

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/Adoption&Loss.html

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