you must be kidding, do you think you can measure up?

proudmama

Thank You thats what i feel its not right nor fair

stephaniemassacree

When a parent puts a child up for adoption, then that family wasn't god intended for them. Everything happens for a reason. Adoption has NOTHING to do with money. It has to do with love. My parents adopted my younger brother from India. Because of my parents, that little boy now has a home, a loving family, and an

Kristy

Interesting perspective. Flawed, but interesting nonetheless. God gave me my birthmother because my adoptive mother could not have children of her own. God gave my birthmother the strength to carry me and the strength and love to make the decision knowingly to give me a better chance at life. She gave me the opportunity to live a life she knew she could not give me herself. My adoptive parents didn't have much money, they were military, so there goes that theory. However, my adoptive parents were blessed with much more than a big bank account - they had a child. My brother and I answered our adoptive parents' prayers for children, something they could not have without God's help. I am incredibly grateful to my birthmother and my adoptive parents. I am sorry that you feel this way about adoption, I pray that you someday overcome this obstacle in your life and move on.

Nick

do you know why parents put their kids up for adoption?
because the parent doesn't have enough money or anything to take care of the kid and wants it ot live a good life.or if the parents stupid they just don't want the kid

and that's when another family comes in to buy it to give it that good life
now would you rather have the baby to live a crappy miserable life or a good one with a family?

Lady Rowan

Last time i checked, my a parents didnt have to explain themselves to anyone, much less you. My mom lived with herself quite well, knowing she had adopted me and my twin (her niece and nephew) as my bio mom approached her, not the other way around.

My bio mom, wanted 1 child. She got two. She was not emotionally ready for any children. She gave us up. Then, when the adoption was final, couple months later, she gave birth to my sister, whom she kept.

None on here is obligated to explain themselves to anyone.

Gina

LOL feel better now?

I plan to adopt, and I have no intention of "taking someone's kid" because I have "more money" and I dang sure don't believe that the kid would rather be with us than his or her own family.

*lil M*

Who are you to say that the adopters are not the families god intended for them to be with? Would you rather the child be in an abusive home where they are neglected and mistreated or would you rather them get adopted out to someone who actually cares? money has nothing to do with it.

LovetheLORDfirst

And I suppose there are no happy marriages because married people don't have each other's blood running through their vains?! Please!

Some things work out; some don't. Generalizations, on the other hand, are almost always useless!

Dreamweaver back for more

Troll...go away

DropsOfJupiter

OK I'll explain it to you. Some people aren't fit to be parents and the kids are better off with the people who become their parents, the people WORTHY to be their parents. Clear enough, or shall I break it down into simpler vocabulary for you?

ETA- Well if God is all powerfull, He MEANT for children to find their adoptive families

Indian-vision(un-blocked)

I am not kjdding myself about my child needing me. My toddler clings to me and her dad when we are amongst strangers and others. She comes to me for bruised knee, for hugs and kisses and love.

As for me i sleep well knowing i took no child because i had more money.

AdoreHim

Wow are we bitter? I cannot understand how anyone can be so callous against both adoptees and adoptive parents. Did you realize that people like myself are both an adoptee and a parent who adopted. You probably don't care. I am very thankful for my birth mother, and I can tell you this that the family I grew up with was the family that God placed me in. If you really knew God you would know what He thinks about adoption. He created us, however, without Christ, we would not be His children- we are adopted as sons and daughters through Christ. The birth moms of my 2 children, which we met while they were pregnant chose us to be parents- not because we had a lot of money- we don't - they chose us because they thought we would be loving parents for their children. Thanks so much for saying that God didn't want us to have children, because we could not conceive them. Speaking of selfish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

corcoranfaire

I sure hope God doesn't intend for children to go into foster care for abuse or neglect.

I know I more than measure up. Money has nothing to do with providing a child a loving and safe environment.

monkeykitty83

Not all children CAN live with their biological families. Some children are abandoned, abused, or neglected. Some children are orphaned. I am not going to debate the will of God with you, but it HAPPENS, and you cannot just ignore the fact that not all families are safe and loving (and sadly not all parents survive till their children reach adulthood.)

Do children want to live with their biological families-- sure, of course. But if the parents are a threat to their safety, do not look after their welfare, or are dead, that is not an option. In a perfect world, all children could live with the people who conceived and bore them. As I am sure you have noticed, we do not live in a perfect world.

Adoption should never happen if the parents are willing and able to care for their children. But if they are not, the children will not cease to exist just because their situation is less than ideal. They still need care. They still need love. They still need permanence.

And in those cases, adoptive families should step up and provide love and nurturing. Adoptive parents can be good parents too, and some children NEED a home outside their biological families. Since we will never be able to banish every bad thing from the world-- everything from mistreatment of children to death itself-- some children will need places to stay, and families to care for them. Which option the children would prefer is unfortunately a moot point if one option is impossible.

Adoptive parents of children who really HAD to be removed from their families, who were truly abandoned, or who lost their biological parents to death have every reason to sleep just fine at night. They did not cause the problem, and their love, support, and security can help a wounded child heal.

Not my fault either

my adopters live with themselves just fine and sleep well at night knowing that I love them and want to be with them after all my breeder gave me up for adoption. if god intended for my abandoner to keep me she didn't listen to god. it has nothing to do with money, it has everything to do with who w-a-n-t-e-d to raise me. She didn't want to. i'm glad that i'm with someone who really wanted me.

your awfully mean and nasty. merry christmas.

~Ariana~

It's not about MONEY, it's about BEING ABLE to be a parent. Not everybody is capable of parenting for a million reasons, it's not easy to be a parent, it's quite demanding and exhausting, yet rewarding. But if someone is unable to care for the child why not let someone else do it? And most of the times, the Adoptive parents are just regular people not millionaires, the difference is that their Capable and willing to care for a child.

I have full custody of my stepdaughter and Im not rich, God no, far from it, yet Im a capable and willing parent. Not everybody is like this, but her bio-mom is just well let's say not capable of looking after her. Lucky for this little girl that her dad was always in her life, however if my husband hadnt been around her, what would have become of her? A neglected child-in the care of her unfit mother? or worse lost in the system? In that case as I know there are many, doption would have been the solution.

I've also seen very closely how adoption has touched people's hearts. And how blessed those adoptive parents feel for having that child and how loved that child is.

How about Caylee Anthony? She stayed with the family "God intended for her" and look what happened.. now wouldnt she have been better off if her mother had given her for adoption, when she knew she wouldnt be able to care for her?? If that had been the case little Caylee would have been opening presents on Xmas instead of being buried.

Jackie B

Maybe I could measure up and believe my child wanted to be with me instead of their b families because they would no longer be beaten, molested, neglected or otherwise abused.

You can't TAKE someone's kid. They might have already been taken by foster care for the above reasons. I'm not taking someone's baby if they have made a well informed decision to relinquish. And I might not have any more money than the mother has, but I might have more desire to parent than she does (for whatever reason). I can live with myself if I know that this child needs a home and needs parents and I can provide that.

Again, what is up with the APs being vilified? WE didn't abuse, abandon or neglect this child. WE didn't lose our rights because we were unfit parents. WE didn't make the decision to not keep our child. WE stepped in when SOMEONE ELSE did NOT.

Vixie

Well assuming God is real, if he intended the biological parents to raise the children he might've blessed the family with more money, its not a bad thing to be adopted by another family maybe God intended the adoptive family to raise the child.

Real Life has No Soundtrack

Grow up, buddy. God works in mysterious ways, haven't you ever heard that?
Why has adoption been villified, as if genetics were the end-all and be-all of human existence? Ask someone who was abused as a child by their biological parents, if adoption is so bad.
Get a life.

Gaia Raain

I don't have kids yet, but I have no illusions. Maybe this can be discussed during the airing of grievances on Festivus?

A's Momma

Perhaps God intended for me to be with my adoptive family and the only way I could get there was through a woman who couldn't care for me and so therefore, set me up for adoption to be with the family I was SUPPOSED to be with.

Besides, had I been kept with my birth mother, my life in Korea would have been horrible because I was born out of wedlock- still looked down upon there. My life is Soooo much better here.

Go ahead people, give me all the thumbs down you want because my life is awesome and I am happy, well adjusted and just had my first baby with my husband.

maccrew6

And I suppose no kids are better off with adoptive parents? No kids have natural moms that are drunks, drug abusers, physically abusive??? No kids have parents that have died?? Get serious..

windowizard

I may never measure up!

I would give all I have even my own life had my son not had to suffer the awful trauma at the hands of his birth mother.

I seriously could not live with myself had I not adopted my sons. Nobody else would take them. Spending the money we did to adopt imperfect children surely seems foolish but the rewards I have received are beyond imaginable.

We may have given our son a home but our sons have given me an education, perspective, and life I could never had hoped for.

I want nothing from my sons. I seek nothing. I pray they grow into godly, moral and hard working men.

Randy B

Money had nothing to do with it. I wish I had more money. lol Both of my adoptions were free, or virtually free, so that certainly wasn't a factor. Actually, the birth father of my youngest child most likely has much more money then I do...or did till he got caught and incarcerated. He's actually a nice guy from what I've heard from many sources.

Both of my adoptions were of children who were either abandoned or seized for their own protection. While I'm sure, on some level depending upon their ages, they may some day wonder what things would have been like had they not been adopted I sleep very well at night secure in the knowledge that they are much better off, much more secure, much more stable and have a much more promising future given their current situations.

Other then that, I don't feel I need to explain anything to YOU or to anyone else. Have a great day and a very Merry Christmas.

opedial

Well, way to oversimplify the situation.

In my case, I know for a fact my eldest child would rather be with his first mom, this is his first Christmas without seeing her. She cannot see him because she neglected him. We talk about her regularily and I let my child grieve a bit in between excitement today.

But to answer how can I live with myself, I can live with myself just fine. In fact, it is a bit heartbreaking to watch a child go through that pain, especially when he is now your child.

As for more money, I really don't think that is why she had her children taken away...because of money.

My point is, I really dislike when people make broad statements against PAP's. I am sorry if you are going through pain during the Christmas season.

aloha.girl59

My son's adoption had nothing to do with money. He was in foster care because his first mother was unable to take care of him. He knows he has two mothers and there are no secrets with us. I don't want him to feel 'grateful' toward me for adopting him, but I happily accept his love every day of my life!

I can live with myself just fine, thanks.

jeni5844@yahoo.com

well, i was the token prize.

i have never purchased another woman's child, myself. but i wanted to say i love the question!

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