what NOT to say to a copper...?

35 YEARS OF INTUITION

As the officer asks if you know how fast you were going, reply "You know how fast I was going before I saw you?" Tried it, Ohio State Trooper, got a grin, Gave me 91 in a 55 ticket. Drat.

len m

SOMEONES IS BREAKING THE LAW

saulg21

Is this going to take long? I really need a fix.

wwJad

I love a man in uniform
especially with a big helmet
and a sizeable truncheon

if he doesn't arrest
you're in luck
make the most of it

SexyTrojan

Nice watch. So what do you REALLY do with the drugs after a bust?

biotab2001

i was going to join the police force but at my interview they found out my mum and dad were married when i was born

casinodog

YOU ARE NOT WORTH MUCH

UNITool

While getting a roadside sobriety check (walking line, following pen w/o moving head, etc...):

"I couldn't do that sober."

13caesars

I smell pork!

chutney

Respect is what the police need. They are only human and doing a job they choose to do like a nurse, doctor, fireman, they are all jobs! Power to the Police, I love em.

caroline1409f1

Hello hello hello. Fancy some bacon?

CLIVE H

If you are stopped by the police, it is really a case of YES SIR, NO SIR, THREE BAGS FULL SIR. One way you can win over a copper is to stand in the gutter when talking to him. This makes him feel big and you look small. In his shrunken brain, if he's got one, there will suddenly appear the message CHILD. He will know you are not a child but his brain will be telling him you are small and therefore must be a child and must be in serious need of protection. GO FOR IT!

goodsh evenoong occifer !whilst sitting at the wheel of your car! or WILL A 50 help to change your mind this once officer!

cate

are you the strippergram?! (was actually said)

taz c

Is that a set of handcuffs on your waistband - or are you just pleased to see me?

sparhawk7322

You dont have the guts to use that nightstick.

barbi316

Would you like a doughnut?

Blue Steel & Lace

Wait a minute man, my weed fell on the floor when I pulled over.
Oh here it us, under my gun...

Yeah, I'm too drunk to stand up. That's why I'm driving!

Sorry I puked on your shoes. Nothing personal.

Why aren't you out catching REAL criminals?

I pay your salary!

I know the (mayor, police chief, city councilman, governor, queen)!

My dad's a lawyer.

I'll bet you wouldn't be so brave without that (gun, badge, nightstick, whatever).

I can kick your ***.

EMMAÂ©

that's a shiny helmet
can I see you truncheon?

peter c

any tickets left for the polisheemanss balls

tony c

"what do you mean i was speeding-you just overtook me!!!"

"are you uccusing me of being incoxitated occifer" 'hic'

"how dare oyu uccuse me of drinkinininininging"

"course i don't drink and drive officer-i'd spill it otherwise"

nurse ratchet

where do you get your donuts?

teabag 1968

you breathe into the bag first and see who wins

Chancer G

Good evening cun tstable.

Can I interest you in some cannabis?
Hold this knife while I get my ID.
I ALWAYS enter my house via the back kitchen window.
I couldn't put my car lights on , my electricity bill goes up.

flyingbumblebee

There is a donut shop about a mile back.

soccermomw3

Can you hold my beer while look for my license?

amethyst2

a friend was slightly drunk one night, we were walking when a police car passed us, he shouted out 'oi mate, your wheels are turning round' it was really funny at the time, but the police oficers didnt see the funny side of it at all.

Buttsmear

Im too wasted...

EMA

cuff me baby!!!

grumpcookie

consternoon afterble.

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