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I have had a massive fight with my partner, in a rage I lashed out & hit her, should she leave me?
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I have had a massive fight with my partner, in a rage I lashed out & hit her, should she leave me?

We have a two year old boy (who is often the cause of our fights) she says she can't cope on her own but does not want to be with me any more which I fully understand as I am deeply regretful of my actions and horrified by what I've done, especially as it's not the first time. I've said I would never do it again, but I did, I cant seem to control my temper. I love my partner very much & I just want to make her happy but so often I fail. What can I do?


    




kerrylonglegs9
She should leave if she stays she is condoning your actions. You need to work hard to regain her trust on every level.


rondavous
You need to leave her, support her and your son from a distance, seek help for your anger and start building bridges if you want to fix this. You cannot make your partner love you by making her and your son scared of you. You could have totally ruined any chance of this now anyway and you should be prepared for that. Get yourself sorted out with the right help, ask your doctor for this.


leah f
sorry to say this but id let you go
purly because youve done it once you could do it again if you want to stay with her and prove you still love her i would seek out some anger managment councelling to help try and provent it happening in the future
good luck


steven e
Rating
seek help now before it is too late.


Helen D
Rating
Sorry to sat that she should leave you especially as this is not the first time, please get help with anger management then there may be hope for you getting together in the future.


Nicole G
Rating
You should see someone about your rage. It's like when a dog bites once it will do it again. She should leave if she fears for her safety or that of your child. Maybe if you can learn to control your anger, your love will bring you back together. Maybe see someone together?


Belinda B
Rating
Yep - she should have left the first time. That's one of the reasons why you did it again. Babies don't cause fights - it's you and your partner who caused the fight.

Frankly, being deeply regretful isn't good enough. You need to get help with your anger. Maybe your partner does too. Check out Relate - the relationship guidance service - http://www.relate.org.uk/

Sorry if I sound harsh but violence is a very cruel way to deal with problems.


hotshot
Rating
Get help, take "Anger Management"class.
Also some couples counseling, don't blame a two year old, try to think of the environment you are creating for him.
or get some meds.


windy
Oh my y did u do it.......i thot kids suppose to brin happiness to ur family how come its the cause of ur qurrel?
An if u really love her u shuldnt blame her or worst hit her...tis show disrespect to the ladies.....try to control ur temper.....b a gentleman.....


fossil
there is no reason ever for a man to hit a woman, now how many more times has she got to be hit before she leaves you....with small children in the house as well.....you should be ashamed, really ashamed..........


momo
you right you should seek help for you re anger, you re answering you re own question, you have to find out what you doing and why you doing what you do why you use that particular thing to control , therefore plenty people that can help you go see you re doctor and find help you don't want to see you re 2 year old you doing this? do you? help yourself wish you all the best


Diana
Not before you exam your relationship history


Fish
Rating
yea, she should leave you!


Curious
Rating
I don't know if you are in the UK even though this is the UK site. but I think you need to find help for your anger management. Look in Yellow Pages, usually in the first few pages. If you don't see anything then a visit to your doctor - you need to let your partner know that you are seeking help. If your partner says she can't cope with the 2 year old, and you're saying the child is the cause of your fights, I think you BOTH need to go see the doctor and get some help. Your little boy is suffering and neither of you can see it. I think your doctor will be happy to fit you in quite quickly if he/she knows why you want to be seen. Good Luck


Knowsabit?
Anger management Classes, or leave the poor girl to make the best of her life.


shorty60ee9
Rating
ur son has nothing to do with it she should leave u but she most likely loves u and won't as long as u never hit her again.


magic2000
Rating
If i were your partner, I'd leave you.


tommytominski1
Rating
Get help, both of you! As for you, you've committed a criminal offence in hitting her! Be a man, own up to your failings and NEVER do that again...


WC
Plead for forgiveness, and seek anger management counseling.


Brad
OK first off... the child has done nothing to you, don't blame him or say he is the problem. You are pointing the finger at an innocent baby for your problems. So plain and simple you need to see someone who can help you with your anger or ways you deal with stress. Do this for your family and relationship. If you want to stop that is. You can only change you. Secondly give her enough to live on as in money and take yourself out of the situation for a bit.


nanny2
Go and get help now.


clacroix00132
Rating
The child is NOT the cause of your fights, he is a poor innocent victim who is being hurt and damaged by the people who are supposed to care for him the most.

You said this isn't the first time you've hit her. I don't know why she didn't throw you out before, but hopefully she will now and you can get some anger management therapy and try to rebuild a healthy relationship with your son and his mother.

But even if she doesn't toss you out, be a man and leave on your own accord. It is the best thing for the child.


ms01
give her a baseball bat and let her go. or you go get some couple counseling done and see if that helps if no go your separate ways.


Jack J
How can you say you love her! I despise men who cannot control themselves that way. Go to anger management classes! I would move out until you get that under control!! Yes she should leave you! You dont deserve her and she doesnt deserve to be treated that way. How can you blame your son for your fights! Thats almost as low! You need to learn how to control your anger. Then maybe you should got to family counciling.

But just remember this! What do you think you are teaching YOUR SON! You obviously dont respect woman, do you want him to grow up the same as you! Because thats where thing will end up. It wont just stop with you.


Avid
Rating
Get some counseling for abusive behavior or rage disorder before you seriously hurt someone worse than you already have. I hope your partner leaves you for her own safety and that of your child. I'm sure you love her, but you have a problem love can't solve.


Bluebell
If you have done it more than once then you are going to do it again. Why do you argue over the little one anyway - are you jealous of the attention she gives him? Your first step is to get yourself booked on an anger management course, that way you will show her you are serious about doing something and show that you really care about her. In the meantime, is there somewhere else you can live, so that you do not put yourself in the position of hurting her again? Once you have finished your course you can approach her to move back in. What worries me that if you don't do something about the temper you could really hurt her, or horror of horrors, kill her. If I were her I would have legged it long ago. Sorry.....


lynswil_25
Seek help at a councelor for anger management. No offence, but I don't blame her one bit for wanting to leave. Hitting is not acceptable, accident or not, and if has been more then once.....there is a problem.


Hex W
No...she shouldn't
Unless you completly hurt her
And i'm not talking physically, i mean emotionally
Just sit her down and talk
If you didn't mean to then tell her
And don't do it again...


micktheminton
Yes, she should leave.

Nothin ever gives you the right to hit her, ever. Period.

You sound like you need some therapy to deal with the anger, hurt, pain etc. that's up to you but whe ought to remove herself and the child from you and stay away.


jrsgurl62
get counseling for your anger.....


heathen_mum
i am the partner in question and would never have blamed my son, this is the fathers question not mine as soon as i read the question I immediately said something for putting our son as the cause. he is NOT the cause of our fights. the father is the cause of our fights. so please don't insult me too.

Thank you all for your help, our big problem is that as I have post natal depression, and also have many emotional hurts to deal with too (mostly from the father) i find it very hard to look after my little boy by myself, I do have family and they help a huge amount. If i leave I loose my new house after just having left a very small one bedroom flat and I would be back in one, this I could never do.





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