 
|
ginandvodka
 |
no one can give u the 'right' answer. There are so many uncertainties in life.
Sure, they say "take chances", "live your life so as not to leave any regrets". But there are many cheaters and swindlers also. (The 'nice' guy may not be that nice).
But he gives you the excited feeling, doesn't he? He makes your heart flutter, he keeps you smiling for no reason. Maybe it's not "him" that you like. It could be anybody. Maybe it's the excitement that you seek. 'He' represents an escape from your routines.
No one can predict the future. But I promise, many couples go through this stagnant stage.
Love is gone. Life is good but mundane, and predictable.
There are no more excitements between you and your husband. No more surprises.
But don't you think this stage will eventually surface even if you are with another person?
It takes effort to maintain a working marriage. Effort to create romance, excitement, surprises.
That's why so many people get married and divorced, over and over. Or affairs. Whatever makes their hearts flutter.
But, if you're looking for that constant loving feeling, that excitement, they never last. And you will switch from person to person.
But I'm not the best person to give u advice. After all, I am not married. |
|
Paul B
|
You need to make a decision as to whether to stay in your marriage indpendent of whether there's another guy out there for you. That may or may not work out.
Have you tried counseling? Do you want to work at making your marriage successful? If so, there's hope. If you don't want to work at it, then time for a divorce.
Be honest about it, and don't feel guilty. People change over time. |
|
greataste_08
|
what is happiness to you by the way? do you mean your relationship with the husband has turned into a job you dread instead of something that would provide a spark in your life? I think that you can work on finding that romance you once had in the early part of your marriage. good luck. i hope you will fall in love again with the man your kids call dad. |
|
Mawyemsekhmet
|
Honestly, why don't you talk to your husband about the way you feel? It sounds like the two of you have grown apart. He may be feeling the same way. It happens. People can still stay friends and be divorced. Don't talk about divorce just yet though. Just sit down one night when the kids are in bed and the stress level is down. I had this talk with my husband once too. We have been close ever since. We found out that there were things, emotionally, that were blocking the way of our growth in relationship. We worked them out and are very close and loving now. You have to have good communication for marriage. I made my husband promise that if he ever even thought about having an affair that he would talk to me first and then we could go our seperate ways if need be. I made that promise to him too. I don't think we tell each other everything but the important stuff like that we do. He has even told me when he was attracted to another woman. |
|
Ms. Powerhouse Voice
|
Talk to your hubby and ask him how he feels....see if ya'll can make changes to get back to where you once were....nobody ever said marriage would be easy...REMEMBEr you're commited now so you shouldn't be thinking about dating other ppl. First just try marriage counseling, talking to your hubby, praying, and if you still feel the same way, THEn you should consider leaving. |
|
cmac
|
you have alot to loose. and 13 years of marriage is a long time. the grass maynot be greener on the other side. the new guy could change his mind once he is responsible for you. at the present time its fun and new, but things do change. they are all nice guys in the beginning, wasnt you husband also a nice guy. temptation is just that temptation. |
|
Nia24
 |
it depends on your priorities:
if you want to satisfy yourself, go be with the other guy but after a few weeks of "bliss" by his side you will face problems and challenges that happen in every relationship.
if your priority is the family and the kids, think things before you act or leave your husband, try to bring back the magic into everyone's life, it's hard work but it can be done. |
|
Mona
 |
It's very hard to leave everything for just someone u don't even know even if u know him. After you get married and u have kids first thing u do is think about your kids. What would happen to them if u do this. Don't u think that they would be ruined. It's better to forget that man and work it out with your husband. If u have any complains about him just talk to him. Like u said that u love your husband. |
|
each may believe differently
|
...being that you are not 'in love' means that he is not fulfilling you...however, if you still love him and haven't cheated, then have a lusty, musty affair...with your husband...rock his world |
|
nadia b
 |
don't ever do anything that crazy for another man... most definitely don't leave everything you know and have for a any guy.
if the other guy is worth it he should understand your predicament and come and visit you more often... if he doesn't jump that extra mile he never will and you have possibly thrown away what you do have... sometimes they are just phases in life when you think you aren't in love anymore. when married for so long almost any guy you come across will make you think you aren't in love with your husband... sometimes that is just life....
a decision like this should never be based on another man. if you are that unhappy you should be leaving because you want to start a happier life alone... not relying on anyone else to fill that gap.... if you cant walk out on your own with that confidence then you probably wont be truly happy later odwn the track |
|
pixles
 |
If the guy is a good husband, don't leave him. The other guy seems selfish and somewhat controlling. It seems good now because it is new, but in the end you are better off with your husband. |
|
georgia peach
|
I was once to married at the age of 18years old and it did not work. The issue is that you two never got the chance to really enjoy your early part of life as young adults. I guess that neither my ex husband or me was actually ready even though we thought we were. I am now 32 years old and I have been divorced for 8 years. We had two children together but I didn't let that make me stay in the marriage. If you are not happy than you two really need to sit down and talk. If I would have stayed with my ex husband ... I will admit .. I would have been miserable...Get counseling, talk to your pastor.... find your true feeling for each other and move from there..... |
|
reggie31168
|
I have been married 12 years and i am 38.....i have at one time or another felt the way you do, with the exception we dont have any children. My mother divorced my father when i was about 6 or 7 and it does have an effect on you as young as i was. I dont know your whole situation but....if you and your husband are fighting in front of your kids...or just not getting along....or your just plain not happy for what ever reason......trust me your children know.....they may not be saying anything but they know something is up. When did you start to think you were not IN LOVE with your husband anymore? When we first fall in love it is all exciting full of romance etc...as we go on our love changes....sometimes for some people its better and better and some people fall out of Love. This other man that you met I dont know how far with this relationship you have went....but i personally would put a stop to it and i will tell you why.....You need to figure out first what is wrong with your own life...be it THAT YOU ARE NOT IN LOVE WITH YOUR HUSBAND ANY MORE...or....MAYBE YOU ARE NOT IN LOVE WITH YOUR SELF ANYMORE...or MAYBE YOU ARE NOT HAPPY WITH THE WAY YOU ARE CHOSING TO LIVE YOUR LIFE or....MAYBE YOUR LIFE IS NOT WHAT YOU ALL WAYS THOUGHT IT WOULD BE...It could be many other things. You need to do some soul searching and figure out whats going on. You dont need a third party involved at this time. Maybe you need some time alone without your husband and kids....take a mini weekend vacation by your self and get your thoughts together....it might help. I wish there was some simple answer out there to give you, but there is not. I would put a lot of thought and a bunch of prayer time in on this situation before i made any life altering changes for your self, your kids and your husband. |
|
gastownguy
|
maybe just the romance has left your relationship.if you love your husband,as you say you do,then at least try to revive your interest in each other by getting out of routines or seek professional counseling.exhaust every avenue before giving up.i have been through it before.there is nothing worse than looking back and wishing you had tried harder! every child should be given the opportunity to grow up with both parents, but sometimes thats no possible,i know.good luck! i hope things work out for you and your kids,and your husband. |
|
erotikos_stratiotis
|
I think if your not happy with your marriage then why prolong your unhappyness. You deserve to be happy, if being happy is being alone, or finding another person then you should make your decision. Kids will grow up and I think if they will get over your divorce, especially if they see you are happy and in the long run see your husband is happy too then they will never think anything bad of it. I have a book if you wanna read, it just makes you think about how much you deserve to be happy... and it happens all with you taking action. The book is titled The Mastery of Love from Don Miguel Ruiz. Also, take your time to make your decision, doesn't have to be tomorrow. G'luck!! |
|
tavia p
|
Why arent you in love with your husband anymore. Is it something physical or something you can fix. Do you think marriage counselling will help. I believe that if you talk to your husband about the way you are feeling then there is a better chance of you two working out the problems that exits within your marriage. In the meantime I think it would ba bad to pursue another relationship without putting an end to you marriage. Thats adultry and adultry is a sin. Shame on that man who wants you to break up your marrige for wanting to be with him. WHO GOD HAS PUT TOGETHER>>>LET NO MAN PUT ASUNDER!!!.
Things always start off hot and steamy and you might think you are in love now but later on when he gets accustomed to you and you get comfortable with each other then the true feelings come out. Thus, the cycle all over again...............Good Luck with your decision because its yours to make. |
|
rhonda y
|
Before you jump into another relationship end the one you are in now. Be grown-up and honest. Then, give yourself time to realize what you really want. If you can, get your OWN place where you are your kids can continue having a good safe relationship. Be certain that next time you get involved it's out of a desire to be with that person. Not just because they are a way out. |
|
Private Account
|
First of all, if you've never met this guy, you're just falling in love with the idea of things being better. Besides, do you remember how you felt when you first got with your husband? It was new and it felt wonderful. That's what you're experiencing. If you don't love your husband, that's understandable and by no means should you stay in a marriage if you're unhappy. Not even for your kids. Because, in the end, they'll be unhappy too. So, find out ON YOUR OWN if you really want to end this marriage BUT NOT BECAUSE OF ANOTHER GUY. Find yourself and your happiness first, then after you divorce and find out how it is to leave alone, you can see if you really are ready for a new relationship.
You can use a guy to get out of bad marriage. It's not fair to anyone. Not you, not your husband, not the new guy. |
|
Ron B
|
It's a shame to throw 13yrs of your life away without talking to your husband. There is so much at risk here... take the time to think it through. If you move to another state, you'll be completely re-arranging your kids lives. I would say before you leave to be with someone that you barely know, maybe it would be a good idea to see if counselling would help. By the way you say "i don't really think i'm in love with him" tells me that you're not sure how you feel. Figure out how you feel about your marriage and about your husband and take it from there. I recommend following your heart once you're absolutely sure you know what you want. |
|
tekno
|
i think it would be more fullfilling if you were able to salvage your marriage. it sounds like you already know that. if you are being driven away by any kind of abuse then i think it would be better for you to divorce. but if the problem stems from your lack of excitement. perhaps you could rekindle your interest in a hobby to keep you occupied. i dont think it would be a good idea for you to leave your family and run off to another state to be with someone you met on the internet. good luck. |
|
CowboyBill
|
You are a typical $lut. You are only happy when your life is in turmoil. You are so selfish you are going to drag your children into your despair because "I'm not happy". Well boo-hoo, bit*h.
You want to cheat on your husband, (which is what you're asking permission to do and you know it) then at least wait until the kids are grown so you won't wreck their lives as well. Go to hell. |
|
violet
|
Wow, I can relate to your feelings and the reason you are still with you hubby.. well i think that we all go through stages in relationships and we all grow up . We change as adults also as women..we know exactly what we want. Any relationship your in will have things you dislike about them. Are you willing to start all over? Also the children are very important.They will be effected. If you would leave your husband it should not be for someone else it should be because it is your decision only. It is easy for another man to make you feel special and feel a spark it is all lust, although you might feel that you and this new man have many things in common.... I am sure there are other things you will not have in common. After 13 years of marriage things change sometimes. Talk to your husband or maybe think about counseling. I do not think it is normal for you to find happiness within another man. I am not sure if your present relationship is safe? Does your husband provide everything your family needs? Does he love you? Do you think someone else can love you more? I personally think if you do not desire to continue your marriage you should make your decision..but it should not be made based upon your feelings for another man. |
|
donktheclown
 |
Jan !!! is that you??? |
|
ymingy@sbcglobal.net
|
Just remember that there will always be something enticing about a "different" situation. The guy is someone you don't know, from a different location, everything's different.
Try this, go on a short vacation with your husband, either on a cruise or to another country. The change in scenery will probably revitalize your feelings for him and make you see him in a light different from what you're used to.
Compare this to what you feel for the other guy, and see what you're left with.
I mean, sure a vacation takes planning and work, but you either save your 13 year marriage for the price of a cruise, or realize that the other guy IS better, and you get a second honeymoon before you end it all, right? |
|
purplehottie
|
You have to be honest with yourself if you really loved your husband then thinking about getting to know another man would have never crossed your mind. Look deep into your heart. You are the only one who can truly answer that. |
|
Kendra Leigh
|
I wouldn't recommend divorcing your husband for a man in another state who you've never met. Things are ALWAYS different when you meet someone from online in person. (I'm guessing you met him online?) Anyway, you also have to think about what that would do to the kids if you left (whether you took them or not) as they would either be away from you or away from their father. I know it's a hard decision, but I really feel that if you want to leave your husband, you should do it for yourself and let the rest fall into place as it comes. But, leaving for another man could destroy the children and your husband and things could end up even messier if you left him for another man than if you were to leave him for yourself. Just one woman's opinion. I wish you luck...it won't be an easy road ahead no matter what direction you take...just don't jump into something head first when you don't know what's down there. :) |
|
maike j
|
I can share being 13yrs with someone is a big investment, but not being full of happiness is like only being half alive.but leaveing him to go to someone else in an other state is risking alot especillay since you dont know him that well. if your not happy tell your husband. let him know that you need to find what you really want in life, you need time alone to reflect find yourself again.and yes this will hurt him but at least you'll be in the right. |
|
anmlprht
|
First, ask yourself why you are not happy. After 13 years and two children, it's not always a bed of roses. Carefully consider what you do and what the outcome would be before you do anything. Do whatever you can to make things work. It can be very difficult, when children are involved. The vows say, "For better, or for worse." for a reason. However, sometimes it can be best for all concerned to move on. Only you can make that decision. |
|
Romeo
|
Parents' responsibility to their kids is not about being a good father or mother APART from the unity of the family. The ultimate responsibility of a parent to the kids is an intact family It is utterly irresponsible and selfish to enter into marriage and make feelings as the deciding factor for the family's success or failure where the emotional and psychological condition of the kids hang in the balance. |
|
Drivliam
|
WOW! I know someone similar in your situation. Her reason she is still with him is because of the kids. If you plan to do so, your kids are going to be hurt (unless you take them with you). Maybe you are just tired of the same routine that you and husband have. Try something new. Out of the ordinary. I could be wrong. Anyways, just think about your kids. They are the ones who you are going to bring impact. I wish you my very best! |
|
Lexi
|
I know there’s something in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah
you’ve built a love but that love falls apart
your little piece of heaven turns too dark
listen to your heart
when he’s calling for you
listen to your heart
there’s nothing else you can do
I don’t know where you’re going
and I don’t know why
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye
sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile
the precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah
they’re swept away and nothing is what is seems
the feeling of belonging to your dreams
listen to your heart
when he’s calling for you
listen to your heart
there’s nothing else you can do
I don’t know where you’re going
and I don’t know why
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye
and there are voices
that want to be heard
so much to mention
but you can’t find the words
the scent of magic
the beauty that’s been
when love was wilder than the wind
listen to your heart
when he’s calling for you
listen to your heart
there’s nothing else you can do
I don’t know where you’re going
and I don’t know why
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye
Listen to your heart....mm..mmm
I don’t know where you’re going
and I don’t know why
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye
*listen to this song.. and youll know the answer...im serious! |
|
|
|
|
No Spam
Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
Not English
