Im an IDIOT, I broke the heart of a lovely girl by ignoring her. How I do get her back?

Teenie

So your getting a taste of your own medicine and you don't like it you got some kind of nerve. She is blowing you off and only after just one week of you not contacting her. What did you expect her to do she isn't stupid she got the message you were sending without saying a word. Now that you want her back you think she is just suppose to forget what you put her through. Your in the dog house my friend and your gonna have to eat some dirt for her. Next time don't listen to so called friends if he was any kind of friend he should have said just because I don't like marriage doesn't mean you won't. He had no business trying to live out his fantasy through you.

Kayla

wow I cant believe you listened to your friend. Maybe listening to your friend wasnt a good idea. you should hurry and call her before she changes her mind. And the next time your friend tries to help you tell him to shut his mouth cause hes the biggest idiot ever.

âœ§princess gabrielleâœ§

How could anyone do that? You messed up big time. A girls heart is very very fragile. Is not talking to her some kind of game? Because your idiot friend thinks it's funny to mess with girls? To her it sure wasn't. You said you dated her for a long time and you were friends, which makes what you did even worse. You say you miss her and "want to resume contact," but do you LOVE her? I don't know if you do or not but it doesn't seem that way. She texted and called and emailed you; she mustve been scared, lonely, upset, but mostly hurt. She cared and LOVED you and you didn't, so don't waste HER time by trying to "resume contact." She needs a real man who won't disappear.

Mia

Why would you listen to your guy friend, and let him get to you? Just because he doesn't like his marriage life doesn't mean you'll end up being stuck or however he's feeling too. There's probably some of his own issues there that he needs to resolve. Do you love this girl...if so then you neeeeeed to do anything you can to get in contact with her. obviously she cared about you, and its hard to find a lot of people like that nowadays. Or maybe just in general. Do what feels right in you, your gut feeling, you know? Gut feelings are alwaysss right, well at least mine are.

---

You got exactly what you asked for (and deserve). Do her a favor and let her move on.

JIM

Your behavior indicates emotional instability and our girlfriend probably recognizes this and has decided you are no longer a worthwhile option

beamer

Dear Sadkity,
You shouldn't have been such an idiot! Women such as your girl friend are hard to come by and she will probably move on and be a better judge in a mate next time she decides to get serious. Are you for real? If all you are saying is true then don't be such a chicken and call her or go see her. You need to explain yourself and maybe you may have a chance (kinda doubt it though)? You deserve it if she has moved on!

Antst

OK, I consider myself a particularly non-clingy and independent sort of woman. Even I think that refusing to talk to your girlfriend is unacceptable. Not because she can't deal being without you, but because it is extremely disrespectful and immature. You need to realize that your girlfriend isn't just annoyed that she couldn't contact you for a week; she is thinking, "Omigod, THIS is what I'll have to put up with if I stay with this guy? This is how he deals with things?" She will realize too that you are being a drama queen and that you expect her to go running after you, begging to know what crisis you are going through right now, etc, etc... She probably had a boyfriend who behaves this way at 15 and doesn't want that at this point in her life!

You need to acknowledge that you have been very rude and disrespectful. As an adult, your girlfriend has wisely chosen not to put up with that! So sorry, but your immature, disrespectful, selfish, overly dramatic behavior is a GREAT reason for her to drop you. She doesn't want to deal with someone who behaves that way!

The other thing you need to realize is that YOU are responsible for your own happiness, not your girlfriend. If you do or do not get married and have kids, as an adult, you should be able to figure out a way to become satisfied with your life. Any dissatisfaction you end up feeling is your responsibility alone, not your girlfriend's. This is probably another reason she is thinking she doesn't want to deal with you; she realizes that she'll end up getting blamed every time you feel restless or unhappy with your life!

Many people I know are married with kids and still travel and do other fun activities. If you want to travel, then you need to pick a wife/girlfriend who also wants to travel. Even if you do have kids, you should be able to travel. Again, you need to take responsibility for yourself... If you are the kind of person who enjoys doing fun activities, find a girlfriend/wife who will be open to participating.

If you do want to get this woman back, you had better start writing a sincere, non-dramatic email, apologizing for your ridiculous behavior. And learning how to take responsibility for your own life/happiness, and become less dramatic. Because trust me, even if she does take you back, she will be watching out for any more signs of angst and drama and preparing to run in the other direction!

pamela

if you wait till she moves here,she will of lost interest completely for you,now if you were calling her and she didnt answer,would that be ok for you? the saying that holds true,treat people the way ,you want to be treated,then you wouldnt be asking questions you already know the answer too,Im not a lawyer,but I do have a degree in nursing.

vicubs

Just do nothing..
CONTINUE being an idiot..
At least YOU are CONSISTENT. :)

I kind of hate life

She really cares for you and if you really care fo rher, risk your pride and make up. Freedom isn't loss by having a relationship. Just tell her that you need space and she'll just go hang out with her friends. Your still the strong independent cool guy that you always were and you have your identity. A girl simply menas you get to kiss someone at night and have a friendship mixed with attraction...what better mixes of a world.
I wish guys understood that most girls only go crazy with the emaisls when a guy distances not bc we want to put a guy on the leash but bc we realize that they mean something to us and it hits us like lightening when we think we've lost them or something has happened to them.
I did what your gf did. Then I never contacted him again. I have a life and guys going crazy for me and respect myself and whatever...yadeya...but I choose him, for whatever weird reason unknown and unexplainable to a mostly rational person. Your gf choose you as that friend with attraction...not some random guy to leash up bc we're desperate to marry and have a ring on our finger. Although as a girl...that is nice. What would you rather we just party and like drinking all the time? I dont really think that speaks highly of values either.

Flekr

well its true that you have to have fun while youre young but you didnt have to ignore her like that.

Seems like she was more worried about you than you were about her so i believe that if you call her and explain to her what happen she will most definitely forgive you, i mean you two have been dating and known each other for quite a while. I think youre scared, and why the fuc?k will you wait a month, she is your gf after all.

Kelsey

it doesn't matter what your FRIEND said, marriage is different for everyone, i suggest you explain to your gf what happened and apologize, if she really loves you then she'll understand and you can patch things up

Kortni

talk to her tell her what happened tell her everythinq ur tellinq us she will understand

bebebabygirl000

Every relationship is diffrent......You should call her tell her that you love her and how sorry you are that u didnt ment what you said okk +)

KungFu S

Dude , you sounds like you're 15, wow!!!!! Men can never grow up , can they????? You need to stop listening to your friends and have your own mind. Friends can get you in big trouble. Contact her before she moves and talk to her but be honest with her. And GROW UP SON !

eldots53

Wow. Let her go. She deserves to be with someone who is a grown-up; someone who knows his own mind, and someone who, if he needs to cave up, has the grace and decency to say so instead of just pulling a disappearing act. I dated someone like you once - it was the smartest thing in the world for me to do to let him go.

Honestly? I don't mean to be harsh, but I see nothing here for her at all. Everything in your post is self-centered ..."**I** miss her a lot *** but*** feel that ***just because I didnt contact her for a week wasnt good enough reason to blow me off***...**Still** I miss her and want to resume contact..."

Almost everybody here is urging you to reach out, to call her. But this is what YOU want, for your own selfish reasons - because YOU miss her. Whoopie. I say that you should recognize that you did her a favor and now she can be free to find a relationship with a real grown up, not a super-annuated 15-year-old trapped in the body of a 30-something-year-old, who really and truly does not want what she wants, who hangs around with friends who are equally immature, self-centered, and completely lacking in self-awareness.

The ONLY reason you should contact her again, is if you have actually started some self-improvement work, stop whining and feeling sorry for yourself, and tell her that she deserves someone better than you, and if you can stay away from her until you can manage to extract your head from out of your rearend,and get a whole different, more mature group of friends. At the rate you are going, you will never be ready for either marriage or a kid, not without a looooooooot of work, so it is best for your relationship to be over. Realize that you did her a favor, and let her go.

Shelley

''I miss her a lot but feel that just because I didnt contact her for a week wasnt good enough reason to blow me off......''

She didn't blow you off. You blew her off. You didn't answer her texts, emails or calls. You haven't communicated with her at all. If she really needed you in that time, you failed her. What makes you think anyone would put up with that? Would they put up with it where you work?

She doesn't have to be there for you if you only communicate with her at YOUR convenience. She's not your mom, who also might withdraw, given your bad manners.

However, if you were temporarily insane, go get therapy. Email her with profuse apologies, explaining exactly what happened, and tell her about the therapy. Then call.

You can't have a relationship until you sort out your ambivalence about commitment, and if your girl has any sense she'll understand that.

Katie M

What are you waiting for? Call her. At least you'll know where you stand. And next time, realize that your "friend" probably made a bad choice. Some of us are happily married.

originata

You sound like a p*ssy to be brutally honest. Actually, you not contacting her for a week is excellent reason to blow you off. If she has good judgment, she'd never talk to you again. The only thing you can do is apologize, and explain. You shouldn't wait another month.

Tepyonyerrie

My ex boyfriend was a man like you. Now I found a REAL man and I am way happier :D

Wisen Smart

You are very immature for a guy in his 30's, I admire the way this girl handled your insane immaturity. She does not deserve you at all, let her be, she is years ahead of you in maturity and you are still in pampers. Keep listening and living according to your friends; one thing I can tell you is that I would never pick you as my attorney, you are lacking wisdom, try working on getting some.

Whatever, dude

You are an idiot and she deserves better. You listened to your friend more than you paid attention to your heart, how your girl felt about you, and your future?

You're not ready for a long term relationship, this is obvious. Your girl should move on and find a real man, and you need some time on your own to grow up and to come to terms with what you've lost.

I'm sorry, but you may have lost your chance. Your girl holds your future in her hands.

countrygirl84

Sooo, is your girlfriend the one on here the other night wondering if her boyfriend was dead or cheating on her? It sounds like the exact same situation. Just sayin'.
whether or not it is, leave this poor girl alone. You don't just up and leave with no say so of where your going or what your doing and where you are. If she seeks you out again then go for it. Otherwise, let her be.

Namora Cliente

Call her and apologize.

I Love Lamp

Phone her.

Your welcome

Metamorphosize Me

She wrote about this on here. I remember this story very well, except it was from her point of view. Did you know this??

Anywho...you need to contact her and tell her you are sorry. You need to talk to her. It's that simple.

Do the opposite!

YOU freaked out because of what your FRIEND said?
Don't you have your own mind?

What should you do?
You don't wait a month!
You contact her now, today, immediately!!
Tell her that something happened, and you need to explain it to her in person.
Resume your regular conversations with her, and tell her you are waiting for her arrival.
Please don't tell me she lives 50 or 100 miles away, or some other impossible distance to travel.
If she is close enough to drive to, then go to her soon!
Explain to her what happened.
Tell her that your friend overpowered your good judgement.

p.s. What have you been doing for the past 15 years?
Didn't you have enough FUN?
It's almost past the child making time in your life, especially hers.
Get with the program (reality).
Let your friend go screw off by himself.
YOU need to get together with your woman and make things happen.
SHE is your best friend now.
SHE will keep you and her in reality.
Your friend has a big problem, he hasn't grown up yet.
That used to happen by age 18 or 20, some decades ago, and even earlier some centuries ago.

Ignoring her wasn't as bad as breaking up with her.
At least you didn't do that.
There was no formal ending, so once you get past her temporary pain and sadness, you can turn that around and get back on track.
The average person in mid 30s has a child/children in elementary school or junior high school.

Only a few weeks have passed.
This is not even a month.
It is only some days gone by.
She is certainly not over you yet.
She tried to contact you through your brother.
She is POSITIVE!
You have a very good chance of recovering this relationship.
Don't grovel more than once.
Apologize once and explain things once and tell her you will make it up to her, and don't go back to the negative, whiny stuff again, ever!
Go positive for the future, and never stop.

Don't ask your FRIEND for any help on this.

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