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Is emotional abuse a justifiable reason for divorce?
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Is emotional abuse a justifiable reason for divorce?

Emotional abuse is a type of abuse that shows no visible wounds. It is insidious and devastating to an individual caught up in it. How do you justify it to family, kids, friends and most of all to God.? How long is enough long suffering to qualify and justify leaving this private hell. The neglect, disrespect and long silent treatments have made my life a living hell. Yet my spouse cries innocent ignores and sees nothing wrong . I am expected to overlook this outrageous behavior. It is a lonely and tortured existence. Moral support, trust, communication and intimacy are virtually non existent. No physical wounds are present but the pain and scars run deep. It seems that only physical abuse, infidelity and abandonment are justifications for dissolving a marriage. E- abuse is underground, covert and tremendously damaging. Emotional abuse is stealth, manipulative power and ;control mind games. How much E-abuse must you absorb before the line is crossed into justifiable divorce?


    




Equinox
Rating
Abuse in any form or manner is still abuse. Abuse is a ground for divorce and a host of other things. But like you said - it doesn't leave a mark which is why its so hard to prove. More often than not, emotional abuse results to psychological incapacity which is the term used nowadays. You will be asked to see a psychologist - both of you will have to be interviewed and assessed - and if it is proven that there was emotional abuse - then the psychologist will attest to that and divorce proceedings can push through. But you have to be emotionally prepared for this. Good luck.


box of rain
Rating
Any form of abuse is justifiable reason for a divorce.

None of us, not even you deserve any form of abuse.

You deserve better you just have a hard time admitting it to yourself.

Let yourself off the hook already for your past sins and find a man who will treat you like a princess.

Good luck.


sticky
People get divorced for lesser things. If you want to leave then leave.


atheleticman_fan
Rating
The couple's kids will learn that staying in the relationship is "how it is done" and go on to repeat the pattern in their own lives. That pain and suffering has already affected the kids. Is that what the parent wants??


Rose P
you shouldnt have to take any abuse what so ever. if its gone to the extent to where you feel like you need to get out before it gets worse then go to a lawyer. unless you want to confront your partner and try to work it out. and you're wanting to divorce is not dissolving the marriage. the e-abuse is. but if you truly want out you shouldnt have to give your parrents your family or god a reason. god already knows. and your family and kids.. simply tell them the truth.


~Mika~
Yes


love my life
Rating
Abuse is abuse physical, mental, emotional, it is all abuse. You can file, incompatibility,&extreme cruility - gross negelect of duty. The latter is how I filled. My ex was very abusive both physically and mentally. To me the main difference is physical abuse heals up, burises go away. But the mental verbal abuse stays with you for a lifetime. You need to do something about this soon it is not healty to live like that. Good luck. I don't think God intended for us to be abused by our spouses in any way.


Nancy M
Rating
I was mentally abused and stayed married for 25 years and I could not get out. I am now divorced and have been since 1998. The best day of my life was the day I went to my mailbox and my final divorce papers was in my mailbox. My life of misery was finally over and I could finally learn to laugh again without being afraid. My friends could not understand why I would stay with a man who would abuse me. They seemed to think that all I had to do was just leave. That is easier said than done. My friends should have to live the way that I did then maybe they could finally understand. You are the one who has to make the decision yourself whether or not you want to live with a man who mentally abuses you for the rest of your life. Most people who are abusive are not the ones who are the problem. They can and do blame everyone else but never themselves. You had asked how long abuse is supposed to last. One day is too long. Being abused has nothing to do with love.


BabeHart
ANY abuse more than justifies getting a divorce. You don't owe anyone an explanation...and if you think your god wouldn't like you divorcing, then I'd question why anyone would claim to follow/worship a being who would prefer you stay and be abused.

"Things have run their course and it's time to move on" is a justifiable reason for divorce....so abuse need not even be questioned. Everything that has a beginning, typically has an ending...even love. When it's gone, why hang around when you could be making a better/happier life for yourself?

It's your life...make it what you want it to be.


intrepid18
Rating
Sure, why not. People have divorced for lesser things. Emotional abuse may not show physically..but psychologically it can be very damaging. Also, if the marriage is already on a downward decline...it happens. You do not have to justify it.


kindscorp
Rating
you deserve Everything wonderful this world has to offer!

It is that simple


Mrs. Goddess
Rating
Yes, it is a very good reason to divorce. When a person "leaves" a mariiage, it is okay to divorce them. This doesn't necessarily mean physically leaving, but can be emotional leaving as well. When a husband does not live up to his duties as spelled out in the bible, he has left his wife.


jdydewing
Rating
Get out while you can, You worry about yourself. If you are totally miserable the kids are not going to be happy anyway. My spouse started out just emotionally tearing me apart also, and when he decided that was to boring anymore it got worse. Now I sit here wondering why I have wasted so many years, Pampering this idiots ego.


shyanne
it may not be the answer you're looking for..but i don't think you need to justify your reason.
especially to God because He especially knows you better than you know yourself and knows what you've been going through.
you can only hope that your friends and family understand, support and love you through your decision.
emotional abuse is insidious (dict.definition says "operating stealthly with an evil effect"!) the abuser counts on that..he will have others looking at you as the crazy one.
it steals your soul. to me, it's worse than physcial abuse - because people don't believe you..they can't see the wounds, scars. and one might not get help as easily. one can suffer many, many years of emotional abuse silently..maybe not even realizing what is happening.
the fact that you wrote this is enough justification. there is no future line to cross. please get out and don't feel you have to "justify" it.


Dove
Rating
You do not need a reason to get a divorce. You can use emotional abuse or just say you don't love them anymore.


rhea b
Rating
As far as justifying a divorce to your friends or family, emotional abuse is plenty of justification. Your friends and family don't want to see your suffering. God is a completely different story. However, if you are worshipping the Judeo-Christian god, then you have a good shot at forgivness, as long as you don't keep divorcing. So that's the great thing there, you can do it just the once, and you never have to do it again.


Colleen O
Rating
"Is emotional abuse a justifiable reason for divorce?" Yes it is covered under "cruelty"


Ricardo
Rating
If your husband understood how his behavior effected you, then perhaps he would not be an abuser. I lived with someone for years who invalidated anything I felt, invalidated all my needs, and told me how incompetent I was. The happiest day of my life was the day I decided to divorce, and I only wish I had done that sooner, or never married in the first place. It is time to get out of this living hell, dear, and start experiencing the freedom of having control over your own life.


some female
First, you be honest with your family and your children when they are old enough. You let them know it's not okay to tolerate being treated like garbage as for justifying divorce to this God figure you speak up, don't bother. If you insist, realize that this apparent all knowing, all seeing, all forgiving, all imaginative being wouldn't have a problem with such a divorce and it would be foolish to convince yourself otherwise. Religion is at least in part a psychological coping mechanism and if you turn your God into a vengeful sky monster, you may as well become an Atheist. It's healthier that way.


mishawetterling
Rating
I suggest trying counseling first, however, if you feel threatened and that severely un happy, then it sounds like you have no choice, but divorce isn't always the answer, I'd seek professional or spiritual help first. Save your marriage.


Granny 1
You don't have to justify anything to anybody, if your not happy leave him.


shellipoo
Rating
Lived in that dark world for 15 long years. I didn't even know I was emotionally abused; or in fact that my little girls were being emotionally abused as well. Trust me, get out. It will NEVER change. YOu are a good person, no matter what he may make you think you are.
Good luck


stephen k
That is whatever your personal threshhold is, but you should never have to endure it (it is referred to as 'mental cruelty')


billieray
Get out now... RUN RUN RUN and never look back


missdragontat
Rating
Abuse in ANY form is disturbing. Leave the marriage or lose yourself.


Ski Freedom
Rating
Sure. Still, if your not happy in your marriage
how about trying to repair the marriage ?
Most churches offer low cost professional
counseling. Why not give one last effort to
fix the marriage ?





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