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Is it just my husband, or do all married men refuse to wash dishes?
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Is it just my husband, or do all married men refuse to wash dishes?

I'm trying to get him to wash the dishes because he is the one who uses them. He is a stay-at-home dad and I work full time outside of the home. I wash the dishes every night and always come home to a sink full of dishes. I like to spend time with the baby until she goes to sleep, and then I have to wash the dishes, wash the bottles and do my homework (I am also a half-time student) and usually don't get to sleep until 2 AM. I was just wondering if there are any men out there who wash their own dishes.


There are plenty of men who wash dishes and don't think nothing of it. There are some men who hate washing dishes. I don't know why you feel you should do this every night when it's obvious that it's too much for you. Talk it over with him, but don't talk to him like he's doing you a favor if he washes the dishes b/c their his dishes, too. If he don't get it, stop washing them. Do other things in the house that you can do and for goodness sake, please stop staying up so late. That's not healthy for you. Work smarter, not harder. They pile up enough, he'll be forced to do them since he uses them the most.

LITTLE 1 :o)
Nope! Hubby & I have been married for over 5 years and he does the dishes as much as I do. I am a stay at home mom!

A stay at home dad and he doens't do the dishes?

you may not be able to change him, but try trading another chore for that one. There are some things people just hate to do, and since you do them everynight, he has no reason to change. my husband refuses to do laundry or put his laundry away. (he does do the dishes)

I would suggest investing in a dishwasher. or leaving them in the sink until maggots show up. Maybe he'll get the point.

Dead Elvis
Look for something that your husband does that you're grateful for. If you can't find anything, you need to either need to make him contribute more, or make him pay. Also, are you upset because he does too little, or you do too much? Either way, figure out how to distribute evenly. Maybe he hates the dishes, but will do the laundry, or make the bed, or whatever. I wash dishes, but I don't put the food away. I make the bed (sometimes), but I don't feed the dog. Every once in a while, I'll do something I don't like (ironing, cleaning, etc.) if I know my wife is overwhelmed. But, all things equal and everything running smoothly, we both do our part.

Sorry but your husband is an ***.

Michael R
Get him a dishwasher, why don't you. It's 21st century outside.
I personally hate to wash dishes too.

if he is home all day he should wash I refuse to do the laundry put I do all the work on the yard the dishes and Imake dinner I'll even do the windows but not the wash

L.A. Scene
Normally, I think it should be the wife. But there are always exceptions.

If he is a Stay at Home Dad, part of his role is housework! Whether he likes it or not, he is a househusband and his responsibilities including cooking, cleaning - and yes dishes!

I wouldn't put up with it. It might be easier said than done, but if you come to a sink full of dishes - leave them.

You may want to get a dishwasher. This could be for your benefit - or his.

I hope he has dinner ready when you get home.

Tony I
Buy disposible paper plates or tell him that if he does not wash them, throw them out!! Be serious about it as humans operate by conditioned reflex. If you keep washing them he will not wash them. Serve his foods on unwashed dishes!!

Baby Owen's MOMMY
My husband does when he is home. During the summer he works 65+ hours a week and has no time other than to sleep. So i do all the household chores, but during the winter he gets laid off and does all the chores. Sometimes we do dishes together but we dont work well together we both have our own way of doing things.
I think it is your husbands job to wash the dishes, he is the stay-at-home dad, but you shouldn't tell him that since they are his dishes he needs to wash them, he may get upset because staying at home with a baby is hard work too!

pandora the cat
It's just your hubby. And because you allow him to treat you like that by accepting his behavior, it's your own fault.

Stop doing his dishes. Use paper plates. Wash baby bottles because they need it, but don't do his dishes.

You get what you pay for. You also teach people how to treat you by accepting or not accepting certain behaviors. Get it?

My man does most of the dishes most of the time. He also does at least half of the cooking.

my husband washes the dishes, without me asking. he wont let me clean the tiolet either.

I wash all the dishes in my household. I cannot get my wife to use the damn dishwasher. She likes to pile all her dishes in the sink until I put them in the dishwasher. I hand wash all pots, pans, and anything that is not dishwasher safe.

Not all men.... my husband wash up without me ever asking him to. He also cook whnever i didnt.

I believe it is more of an issue of likes and dislikes. Whereas there are certain things he does NOT like to do, I'm sure there are many other things he DOES like to do. Hopefully, the things he doesn't mind doing are helpful to you. It is important to learn to appreciate each others differences and cooperate accordingly. You can try to change him but that usually doesn't work. I suggest bribes. If you want something you will have to figure out what you can give in exchange. Men will react negatively and stubbornly refuse direct attempts to change them. You have to be subtle and hope he doesn't notice. If he does it could be the beginning of resentment and protest. Good luck.

A stay at home dad? I didn't know there was such a thing. Although when I was younger I guess there was but they were referred to as "bums".
Just what does he do at home all day? Anything? Plus...how many dishes could you possibly generate in a day between one adult and a baby?
I do dishes...constantly. I do laundry, vacuuming and I cook (exclusively as it's my forte). The only thing I don't enjoy doing is folding clothes. Hell...i even scrub toilets. Military training you know.
So....your husband is just plain lazy...that's all.

I frequently wash dishes for the entire household.

I work full time and also clean house, cook all the meals and wash the dishes for my wife (out of choice).

I would suggest you take a long look at what your so called stay at home Dad is doing. If he is daring to suggest that he has the same 'job' as a stay at home Mum then he needs to take ALL the responsibilities including cleaning, washing dishes and cooking that most stay at home Mums operform. If not then he is a stay at home lazy ***.

I luv THICK gurlz
If he's a stay at home dad I would assume it would be his responsibility.

Tell him to get off his **s and help out. I admit I don't do enough at home, but with a dishwasher and a chair and my bad back I still do dishes.

Rhonda M
My husband works less than me so he does the house work but it is only because i told him that i am the breadwinner and he needed to do it!

In my relationship, my boyfriend does most of the housework. They are out there!

Chuck C
It is just your husband.

Tom S
Wow,try this one:My wife has brown hair,do all woman have brown hair.Just because your husband is lazy,doesn't mean all men are.My lady and I split everything 50/50.There are things she doesn't like to do (laundry) and things I don't like to do (dusting).So we split it.

Ask him to explain why he wont wash dishes.
Answers like "Because" or "Men don't do that" are not allowed.

I'm the guy and I always wash dishes. My wife never washes them. I also do the laundry (never put it away though), take out the garbage, do the grocery shopping, and always drop the kids off at daycare. (She does pickup). I also iron all of our clothes. I usually do the cleaning in the house (mopping, cleaning toilets, countertops, etc..) My wife is better at organizing things and picking things up off of the floors and countertops. I am terrible at organizaing.

Both my wife and I work full-time so these kinds of things don't get done on a daily basis.

Basically, we try to leverage our stregths between us.

my husband works full time and helps me with the housework..and does our own maintenance around the house...throw all your dishes away and ge paper plates,forks and spoons..better yet don't wash the dishes and let them sit there..and also i wouldn't wash his clothes..he sounds like a real lazy asssssss....he wouldn't be with me too much longer if he was my husband...you can only put up with so much..hey good luck

It's not just the married ones. I'd come home from a 14 hour day to find my ex-boyfriend on the couch and a sink full of dishes. I think he thought magic elves would do them,

I wash dishes every day

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