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tellme aboutit
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you can come live with me and he can clean the house lol |
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tedorex
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Find a drunk ghost,now that is a happy medium |
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Julie B
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My answer would be for him to start a cleaning business,as he wants perfection,once he has started cleaning other peoples homes he won't be so judgemental.If he doesn't change i would leave him,life is to short to put up with people like that in this world. |
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RBJG
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Hi, i was much like that when i first moved in with my wife, i was very clean, and to me she was very dirty (so i thought), 10 years on ive let go, we now have a semi clean house cant beat them join them.
Your husband may have ADHD |
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demandadvantage
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He's a psycho. Come and live with me and you'll get no grief at all. life is too short to put up with that sort of crap. |
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lolly
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He sounds a bit obsessive compulsive. He must feel anxiety when things aren't in order. A loss of control. He needs to get in touch with his feelings. |
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arnak_001
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Ok... Your husband is being ridiculous. I mean, I make an effort to at least sweep the floors and clean the bathroom once a week and I think I over clean!! I say make him to do it! If he wants it like that, tell him to do it himself. And who pressure washes their balcony??? OR... Get a cleaner... but judging by what you've written your husband probably won't be happy unless they are a live-in cleaner and clean EVERYDAY....
Geez.... |
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Dougal
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Leave him to it.
He has serious issues. Tell him to make the bloody bed as well, he helps mess it up.
If he really wants to spend every and all weekend cleaning...leave and leave quickly! |
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angel2010
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wow, My husband is so hard to get things clean its usually me doing all the house work, Think You need to try and talk to him and try tell him how its making you feel, Not everyone is perfect or keep there house clean 100%, I know a lot of people who don't scrub there showers daily, I don't see the point in scrubbing it daily, I usually try my best to keep my house clean just hard with a toddler making more mess. I think your husband needs to relax about cleaning you don't have to clean your house every day, just as long its not a total mess or food around, few clothes or bits n pieces is alright, Its not the end of the world to leave the house bit messy, no one going to judge you, You need to enjoy life not worrying about cleaning all the time |
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magpies4ever
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well leelee thats simple. let him do the house work. typical male with nothing better to do. is he a pom. i'm also a slob but i get a house cleaner and she does exactly what i want her to do. i do have a life and enjoy it. betta still just get rid of him if he doesnt like it, let him no he can leave any time. |
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Trent
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THERE IS NONE, so like or lump it.
YOUR CHOICE. |
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Smiley
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Your husbands sounds obsessive and compulsive and a control freak. I think this goes beyond just 'house cleaning'. I would suggest he's not coping with something and he needs to see his GP or you need to speak to someone about what to do. This is NOT normal. |
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Lynda B
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If you don't nip this in the bud it will ruin your marriage. Just tell him to do it himself and to stop complaining and you don't want to hear any more about it and jump on him every time he mentions it until he stops. |
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Diane B
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Sit down with your husband and talk about this. First of all, if you work out of the house, you should share housework, but if you responsibility is to maintain his home and cook his meals, they should be your priority.
But assuming you both work out of the home, I would find out from him which housekeeping chores he feels are the most important. Those are the chores I would make certain that working together you keep them up to date on a daily basis, i.e. bedmaking, etc. Then you agree to split the other chores and do those on only one day of the weekend. The other day of the weekend is a reward yourselves day and you do something fun together.
Don't go diagnosing him with OCD or something of that nature, maybe he just likes a nice clean house. You need to find a happy medium.
Good luck |
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hollydoll61
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Sounds like your hubby is focusing on one thing to mask his feelings on another. It took many years for my husband to realise the OTT housecleaning & demands for "perfection" in all areas of our lives masked his longstanding pain, grief & anger from his father passing over when he was a boy.
A visit to a counsellor of some description may help as he mighn't realise the resentment his behaviour is causing. |
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photoimage2001
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He sounds like an obsessive compulsive type, perhaps even a control freak.Unless you can find a compromise, it will destroy your marriage or your own mental health. Seek professional counseling to sort this out before it gets worse. |
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strangematter
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Get a cleaning service?
Do however much cleaning you think is necessary and tell him that if it's not enough for him, he can do the rest on his own? If you're not pushing your preferences on him, he has no right to push his on you.
Get a divorce? Ok, so this is a bit extreme and definitely a last resort, but marriage is about a lot of things and being able to co-exist peacefully in a shared living space is one of them. If living together is making you resent each other, maybe you're just not meant to be together. |
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Tabo
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I wonder why he feels that way. Can you figure out WHY he wants the house to be so clean? I'd say you set a limit...maybe time...on what you spend cleaning. Ask him what else he'd like to do. Get him out of the house! lol. But, really, maybe it's something deeper going on. I don't know.
I would also wonder if he had a compusion disorder to clean. (It's not normal to daily scrub your shower.)
My advice is he get a job cleaning other people's houses. You already have all the supplies! Instead of spending SO much time cleaning...get out there and make some $$$$ for all that time!
Set up days...laundry day, vacume day, whole bathroom cleaning day, mopping....there is no reason to scrub 8 hrs a day. As for cleaning the car...if it bothers him so much then...weekly run the car through a carwash and then monthly get it detailed. You should also set up a 15 min daily clean sweep....so quickly sweep the floors, put up stuff, ect.
I wouldn't listen to a lecture honestly....I mean you need to level with him and tell him you're worried about him and how he's missing out on life...try offering some of these ideas. Maybe he needs medication to relax or anti anxity...or it's a deeper issue. I don't know.
Get him to clean other people's homes and make some $$. Set up a cleaning service!
Good luck! |
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♥Tweety♥
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Sounds like a case of OCD.My husband has it and he drives me nutts.We have been married for 25 yrs and I guess it just something you get use to..I just ignore him when he gets like that. |
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♂ Equibrilium ♀
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It sounds to me as if the state of the house isnt his real problem - he may have a bigger, underlying (totally irrelevant to the house) problem, but is taking his frustrations out on the house.
I would offer to go see a councellor or similar, before he develops something similar to OCD. |
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David
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Show him that you are willing to make the effort when it is necessary, but also show him that an overly clean home isn't a home. I suppose you could play the "you catch germs more easily and your immune system weakens if somewhere is overly clean" card. |
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Suzy O'D
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A room does get really smelly if you leave shoes lying around all the time esp if the door is closed, I should know it has happened in my house. Take your shoes outside and air them, then put them straight away in the shoe cupboard so no-one trips over them, unless they are wet. With your bed get a Doona so all you have to do is pull up the cover and straighten the pillows. A bit of vacuuming doesn't hurt anyone once a week, not all weekend, you need your weekend to relax; don't be a neat freak, unless the Queen is coming to visit. Do a spring clean, not necessarily in the spring, but do the cleaning together, so you can work things out talk through what has to be done, and just slow down, Rome wasn't built in a day. |
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Burgundy
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He will get worse as he gets older, he will make your life miserable. You don't mention children, how will you cope with him and a baby. I have 50 years of personal experience with one of these Hitlers. He passed away 12 months ago and in my old age, I finally got the puppy I'd always wanted, he sleeps on the bed and leaves hair on the couch. You will look back and wish you'd never met that man. Stand up to him now, set him straight or leave and get a life of your own. Get a dog |
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BR
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I had a boyfriend just like him and dumped him. I kept a clean house but am not planning to perform surgery in my house, so it is not necessary to keep it to an insane level of cleanliness. Unfortunately, your husband has some control issues. My suggestion would be to explain to him that if he wants to clean beyond what you think is necessary, than let him but tell him not to make rude remarks to you. |
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quickpee
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Definitely OCD and sorry but you will never get him to compromise as this is an Obsession - and NO - normal people keeps things clean but do not scrub their showers every day because they have a life which I fear your husband can not have because of his condition - he may not see this as his problem but as your problem but it isn't.
As you have no life living like this the compromise I would suggest is get him to do the big chores - as he likes them - one room at a time - on week nights - while you prepare the dinner - that way when the weekend comes you will have some quality time together - after all - isn't that why you both decided to marry each other - so you could spend your lives with each other.
I don't remember - 'till we both drop dead from house cleaning as part of the marriage vows do you?
But my question to you is - did you not notice this about him before - why did you think he would change? |
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JoshForrest
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it sounds like he needs counselling.
its called obsessive compulsive disorder.
hes has a problem..... a serious problem.... |
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Midnite Spank
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Let him get a house cleaner.
Problem solved. |
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ManOnFire
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It's hard to find any happy medium with someone who is anal about ANYTHING. My dad used to be like that...but then again, he was a drill sergeant in the Army. I believe a house should be cleaned WELL once a month and just maintained by light, NON-TIME-CONSUMING maintenance. This is also a sign of a controlling person. Not saying he's definitely a danger...but keep an open mind. It's really rediculous to have to fear a lecture because you leave the shoes by the door. Then there's the best argument...tell him, "You knew I was like this when you married me." |
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Russ
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It sounds like your so busy cleaning your home that you don’t have time to get it dirty. I have seen this before with friends, it seems he’s a bit OCD and can’t get over it however, It’s important that you sit down and come to a happy medium about what makes a clean home.
You can tell him what your willing to do and let him do the rest while your out having fun. Some couples get confused and believe they have ownership over each other rather than a friendly partnership.
What’s going to happen over time is either your life will become miserable because you don’t have quality time or you two will split because he can’t differentiate between a clean home and the quality time you are looking for.
Life is too short to miss out on time together having fun. The house will stay cleaner too.
I am normal and we clean our showers about once a week! best of luck to you. |
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Lil' Mom of 4
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It sounds like he's OCD.
Maybe you should talk to him about getting counseling because ultimately it's going to ruin your marriage if you guys can't come up with a solution.
If it were me, I would tell him "if something bothers you, YOU clean it".
There is a HUGE difference between being clean and being OCD.
Obsessive compulsive Disorder ruins some people's lives and it sounds like he is going to be one of them unless he seeks counseling for it. |
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Bobloblaw
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My wife is/was the same way, she'd want to mop and scrub the floor after every single meal cooked in the kitchen for fear of grease build up and things like that, after both of us worked 8-10 hours that day.
We found a happy medium in splitting chores throughout the week so we both can deal with our own definition of 'messy' on a daily basis and then do the real house cleaning on weekends (ie, vacuuming, clean the showers, toilets, etc). This way you don't have someone complaining incessantly about little random messes because more often than not they'd chosen to take care of that area.
We also both tried to be a bit more mindful of the others issues about things around the house, not totally giving in to whatever anal retentive issues they may have but at least meeting in the middle. This even cut down on the legitimate complaints about messes in the areas the other cared about.
Whatever it may be, I hope you two can find a common ground because simple things like household chores can eventually turn into stupid arguments and more.
I wish you both the best.
Cheers! |
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care79
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Sounds like my husband I thought I was alone. I work a full-time job as well and he expects me to keep a spotless house. We don't fight about money...only housekeeping. He has threatened to leave me...so much the idea does not bother me anymore. He thinks I am a slob...but I merely do not have the time it takes to raise our daughter, work full-time and keep the house spotless. So sometimes dishes are not washed and laundry is not put up. I fee like housework is more important than anything I do as a wife. If he has to do the chores then he treats me differently and has that look of resentment. |
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