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My husband is so stupid. What should I do?
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My husband is so stupid. What should I do?

My husband............ah, he tries hard but he is useless. He listens to others and do things because what others will think..He is not bold, lack of knowledge where he needs to have because everything will be ruined. Because of stupid things I might have to loose my career some time. He talks to his mother 3-4 times a day, I dont mind being nice and caring to mother, but 3 to 4 times is too much for me.

Some how I am so tired. I try to be nice to him, but it just does not work with me. I don't know why. What shd I do?? Please help me..I feel so bad for myself. Its like I am his teacher, mother..hah..I hate it.


    




2008-08-01 05:46:43 +0000
Tell him to grow up and be a man for once in his life.


2008-08-01 05:50:34 +0000
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Okay sweety, this is a big NO NO!! You need to let him know how you feel and really mean it....tell him he what kind of MAN you want him to be.......Be honest with him, but at the same time do it in a loving way so he wont get angry and discourage.....

For example: "Honey you know what?.....You are such a good husband but I see great potential in you, I dont see why you get advice from your friends when they should be getting advice from you, and maybe you should try to talk to your mother once a day so she will miss you more and then she wont look at you like the little boy holding mommy's hand anymore....honey I love You....

Try that and see what happens!

Good luck


2008-08-01 05:55:11 +0000
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My dear, you think way too highly of yourself. Get down off your high horse and he might be a much better person than you realize.


2008-08-01 05:57:00 +0000
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Maybe focus on yourself. Learn to spell and speak properly.


2008-08-01 06:02:21 +0000
sounds to me like it's time for you to make some changes i am sure
you are not his teacher an you aleady want his mother out of it
so whats is it going be you stay you lose an if you leave you could also lose so sit him down an talk an if he still is as useless as
you say he is i say what do you have to lose.


2008-08-01 05:49:10 +0000
You try to be nice and can't be
Do you have this problem with any other people?
Have you always felt this way about him?
You should have a real life conversation with a professional


2008-08-01 05:50:38 +0000
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He sounds like a mamas boy......BLAH< leave now!!


2008-08-01 05:46:37 +0000
You said he trys and he listens, and is close to mom? Wow, bad qualities!


2008-08-01 05:46:10 +0000
Leave him and give him the opportunity to be with someone who is not as emotionally abusive as you are.


2008-08-01 05:51:51 +0000
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Uh. Are you my sister? Because you sound exactly like what her husband is like! Not to mention her names Jenny to! I dunno what to tell you I'm sorry but this is the man you married i'm sure you had to have seen this coming at some point.. little hints here and there that maybe hes not the brightest crayon in the bunch.. I dunno you being his wife he should be coming to you about things on his mind not to his mother that's a little odd and ridicules maybe try speaking with him about your concerns.. I don't mean tell him Hey! Your an idiot! haha but talk to to find out why he chooses to call his mother with his problems and not you.. let him know that you want to be the one he can talk to about Any and everything thats on his mind..?


2008-08-01 05:47:23 +0000
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then you shouldnt have married him. im sure you knew what you were getting into


2008-08-01 05:54:25 +0000
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You are not alone on this one if it comforts you in any way.
I ended up getting divorce after trying for a few years.
My husband never broke the umbilical cord with his mother, he lackd common sense, didn't have a mind of his own.
I understand your feelings,, you didn't really signed up to be a teacher, coach or instructor,,, you enter a partnership and you need a teammate. It sounds like you are very high functioning and he might slows you down with his non sense. My ex had some good qualities but i never got mental, spiritual stimulation from our relationship, he was very dependent and i really needed a leader by my side. If this is happening to you, not to be negative, but i don't know if you can put up with him for the rest of your life, it can be depressive. Good luck anyway.


2008-08-01 05:45:59 +0000
ur weird


2008-08-01 06:02:44 +0000
you need to GROW UP and have respect for the relationship he has with his mother, so what he talks to her 3 to 4 times a day thats he relationship that you cant control. you are a control freak and are mad because you cant control him and more importantly his relationships. you need to learn how to talk to him and have more respect for him and maybe you would get better results for him or least the kind of man you want. GodBless


2008-08-01 05:56:15 +0000
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He´s definitely insecure in some ways, but giving your back to him won´t help. Have you asked him why he listens to others and prefers other people´s opinions? Have you asked him why he talks to his mother 3-4 times a day? I´m sure you have and his answers haven´t really helped. You need to sit down and talk with him and the same thing you´ve told us, the same thing you should express to him, letting him respond and see what´s going on. Insecurities come from way back in our lives, it´s not something that just pops into our personality and boom, we´re insecure! So finding out where it is coming from is essential to finding its solution.
I understand you´re tired, you seem like the head of the relationship and him being the man, should be the protective one, the leader. But in some relationships it´s just not like that and it´s not so wrong. However if you want things to change you need to talk with him and let him see your views and you see his, with understanding and patience.
Calling your husband stupid is disrespectful and not a smart way to solve your problems with him.
Maybe he needs a good talk, some tough words coming from you, always with respect of course, and you´ll see how he starts his change.


2008-08-01 05:47:36 +0000
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so dump him, what is the problem? scared being left alone till the rest of your life? cos with that attitude u should be grateful u nailed one idiot


2008-08-01 06:05:32 +0000
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I have been married for 23 years and I will tell you right now, if my wife was saying the negative things that you are saying about your husband to me, I would not be the man I am today.

When you down grade and rip someone apart like that, they no longer want to try. I can not believe you are speaking so harshly about someone you supposedly love.

Try being a little more supportive, and a little less negative. You are ripping apart your husbands self esteem. of course he is calling his mom she likes him.

Honestly, how much effort would you put in if he was ripping you like this?






2008-08-01 06:25:18 +0000
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You should have dated him long enough to know what he was like before you married him. all you can do now is try to teach him how to act.





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