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My husband seems obsessed with his female coworker, should I be worried?
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My husband seems obsessed with his female coworker, should I be worried?

Somehow her name seems to pop up in our conversations everyday...and he never fails to mention how wonderful & awesome she is, what a great personality she has, that she's the best thing in that office and that most of his male coworkers think she is hot. Sometimes I feel like he is purposely trying to make me jealous. I usually just say things like "wow, that's great" or "I'm sure she is" and act like it doesn't bother me so as not to give him the satisfaction. I don't tell him how it makes me feel so that her name does not become like a "sore subject". My brother-in-law (who works at the same company as my husband) has had some serious problems with his wife for the very same reasons. Am I being paranoid?


A little bit yes ..... and your hubby has confidence problem!!

Jean B
not as long as you know where he is after normal working hours.

You could be. He might have a little crush, or he might be trying to get your attention, which you should be flattered! If anything SERIOUS happened, I'm sure he would not bring up her name to arouse suspision. Why don't you just ask him, say,, "Um, honey, it seems like you talk an awful lot about this woman, why is that?" If he gets terribly flustered or angry, I'd worry. If he becomes excited you brought it up, then he's trying to get you ruffled over him, and what the hell, go on and humor him!!

Mary Anne
Sorry, but you should be worried. Sounds like he would leave you for her if she wanted him. Hopefully, she doesn't want him.

MZ. Latina
No you are not being paranoid. He probably thinks she is hot and the question will be given the opportunity will he do something with her.

i don't think that you're being paranoid, and from how it sounds, everyone (or every guy,) is interested in her. unless your husband is some chick magnet then i bet someone else will get her.

I agree with Jennifer S. Let him know how it affects you and how you feel about it and if it continues you go out of your way to find someone to praise. Let him choke on that.

yes i would be worried, as his heart seems to be with her. your not being paranoid, just keep your eyes and ears open. what kind of guy constantly brings up another woman? he seems very interested in this woman, he seems to be obsessed with her.

Carlos G
Does he mention how great of a wife you are...with the cooking, kids, house etc.... if he isn't that way in letting people know that ..then you have a problem. He's has a crush on that young hot chick.

Wow, she must really be something.

No, you're not being paranoid. This would bother me, too. Why in the world is he telling you this stuff? I guess because he can't help himself. Sounds like he's infatuated. It's probably something that would fade with time, if you can stand it long enough to wait it out.

No, you should be worried. If the marriage is good and you want to keep it that way, do things to spice things up a bit. Have more together time, maybe even suggest one of those weekend marriage workshops, they really have helped lots of couples to remember what is important in a loving relationship. And remember, even if you know where he is evenings and weekends that does not mean that nothing is going on.

My husband drove me to work and picked me up after work every day, and we always spent the weekends together but the lady he was involved with from work was married also so could not see him weekends or evenings. I thought I was going crazy because I could not understand why we were pulling apart, nothing I did anymore was right. Finally I found out that they were spending hours on the phone during the day and meeting during the day when they could. (Pretending appointments, etc). We are divorced and things did not work out with them either. Best to nip it in the butt quick before the infatuation goes any further. Best of luck.

chicago floater

i think if you were honest with hubby about how hearing about co=worker makes you feel than he should be more sensitive towards bringing her up all the time.

Chris G
Honesty is best. Tell him it bugs the hell out of you that he always talks about her. Ask him why she is so great, what makes her so great? (It could be she simply says hi to him when he walks in. Or asks how his day was, if he's having a bad day?) Either way, tell him it makes you feel bad, but you want him to be honest with you. Talk to your b-i-l's wife first, maybe she'll have some ideas on what to do. Could be that this girl is just very attractive and nice-guys do notice that. On the other hand-keep your eyes open!

marian j
yeah girl so sit down and talk and say that your upset that your that he is to focused on her instead of you

Tell Him POINT BLANK I am tired of hearing about her every day.
Tell him you are not making me jealous but you are making me suspicious o f this relationship.
So don't bring her up anymore, I care about you, and your work day, but not her a**!

he should not be talking to you like that about another women.if my husband says something like that about another women i would smack him.he should be telling you how wonderful you are.you need to tell him.because i know that hurts.

Nita and Michael
it's ok to be a little paranoid, but just remember the odds of anything happenig between them are very very slim....seems to me he probably looks at her like a mother figure...i mean, she is alot older, could be a little school boy crush, but nothing will ever come out of it, i'm sure after awhile it'll get old and he'll drop the subject, till then just be patient and keep doing what your doing, or be flat out honest and talk to him about it, tell him it bothers you that all he seems to talk about is this woman, maybe he doesnt' realize he's talking about her that much...let him know how you feel ....

i think your troubles are just starting i hope i a wrong but from your typing i think i an right on this one . my opion?

*Pretty In Pink*
Nope not paranoid but should worry more and question him too.

this depends on your husband. is he obsessing over her because he has a little crush on her (which, let's face it, men do this, it doesn't mean they don't love their wives,,women crush too!) or if he's thinking of her in a more intimate kind of way.
the question you need to ask is if your husband is trustworthy. does he hide things, or is he upfront about everything?

Yes and no. Yes, in the fact that if others are also talking about her and the wives are bent out of shape then I doubt you have too serious a problem, she may very well have a guy of her own and there is nothing but admiration on the males part. No, if she is as great as all think and she happens to signal out your husband and he being a male any thing could be a threat if he wanted to "show off" his prize to the other guys

Why don't sit down and ask him about it?
then explain your feelings!

i'd sure be worried.

Ohhh... I dont think that would work on me...Find a time to talk with your hub privately and heart to heart. Don't hide your woes. Let him know how you feel bout him always talking bout his co office mate. Tell him you how you feel.. Be very open to your husband and discuss things in the ryt way possible.Maybe you could suggest your hub not to talk so much about his office mate as it wouldn't sound really good to your ears... If your husband cares so much about you then he would listen to you and would find ways to exclude that girl office mate off the conversation again.... Do it with a prayer my dear... It will work... don't hide anything do communicate with your hub about how you feel.

Chimichanga to go please!!
You are not being paranoid. Your husband might be completely faithful to you, but he is sure unusually preoccupied with his female co-worker, who you happen to know by your husband's own words, is hot. I don't think he's trying to make you jealous, as much as he's so preoccupied with her that he can't stop talking about her. He likely has guilt over his emerging feelings about her that he talks openly about her to you, thinking naively that in doing so, he is being up front with you about her and he will not look like the cheating spouse that he is likely thinking about being.

I would tell him in no uncertain terms to knock it off. I would tell him that he either needs to do something about his feelings for her or shut up about it because what he is doing is very hurtful and disrespectful to you, HIS wife. Then if he persists, I would talk to a marriage counselor or someone else who can help you get some clarity about how to proceed. You are justified in your concerns. Your husband needs to stop acting like a little schoolboy and put his googly eyes back in his head.

Why don't you meet her and then decide?

Flying w/ scissors
Your husband is obsessed and yes I would be worried. Last thing you want to do is tell him you don't want to hear her name again. Remember the old saying, Keep your friends close and keep you enemy's closer!! You have to read between the lines, my husband had an affair with one of his co-workers and he told on him self and I was listening to every word...

um, that doesn't sound too good to me. You should keep acting like it doesn't bother you. Then one day, just say " wow, yea that's cool maybe we should invite her over...I want to meet her" And maybe you should meet her, that way you will see how he is around her just to ease ur worrying. I dont think you are being paranoid, there are somethings that married men should refrain from. I am sure he is not doing anything with her, if he were really interested in her, he would have no mentioned her to you at all. He is probably attracted to her and thinks she is great catch no doubt.

Jennifer S
Two choices....

A: tell him it bugs the hell out of you. Ask him why he keeps talking about her all the damn time. And tell him to knock it off or he can go eat dinner at her house.

B: you say nothing and continue on with what you're doing.

Sounds like he is inlove.

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