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My wife is going through a mid-life crisis and needs her space. What does that mean?
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My wife is going through a mid-life crisis and needs her space. What does that mean?

She is saying that she wants to do whatever she wants and not have to answer to anyone.


You'll have to ask her. No one else knows what that means.

It definitely is going to try your patience, but if she'll talk about it, that's a good sign.

Here's the thing to bear in mind: all divorces happen for one of two reasons; 1) someone expects the other to change after marriage, and 2) someone expects the other NOT to change.

She wants to change. You can't stop it. All you can do is decide if you can live with the result, assuming the result wants to live with you.

Have you been paying attention to other things going on with her? Something happening to her parents could cause a resurfacing of some unresolved issues in that area. Maybe the kids are growing up, college, marriage, driver's licenses? That makes folks re-think their roles in life. Maybe a friend just published a book, so she wants to go back to her dream of acting, painting, or something like that.

No one here can explain it to you. Talk to her about it, and most of all....


Hey there
She's bored. Either with herself, you, the marriage, who knows. Maybe life has been a little routine. Maybe she has felt like your wife for so long, she doesn't feel like herself anymore. She may just need to get out of the house and have some fun without having to run it by you first. Doesn't mean she is fooling around like some people said before. Shake things up a bit, give her some excitement, go somewhere, do something different in the bedroom, just break the routine. Most importantly, show her you still love her and be patient, she needs to know that she has the freedom to do what she wants, and still have you by her side.

Bye for now...
Number one: Be thankful that she told you. Mine just went out and got a guy...

Number two: Give her not only what she is asking for, but offer freedom over and above that - it will help her feel less 'trapped', which is probably what she is feeling now. If she gets some breathiing room she'll come around.

And remember: How you handle this request is gonna tell her a lot about you, and whether you are someone she can stay with.

You hearin' me?

I would have to question her on why she's been acting like that. Be calm and collected. I feel, as you are married and are supposed to be best friends, then her responses should not be what they are.

The pink panther
That doesn't sound like a mid-life crisis. That sounds like someone who got married young and never had a chance to see and do things before she got married. she has gotten to the point where she can't hold back her feelings anymore. I don't know how you treat her. If you are controlling, or don't let her make decisions, you need to give her more space. On the other hand, you could be the greatest husband but she just wants to be selfish and do whatever she wants regardless of your feelings or the marriage. You two need some counseling so that you can get back a balance in your marriage.

She met someone else and cant decide if she wants the security you provide or the guy that fills a void you dont.

back off and give her lots of space

as for what she says - take those remarks with a grain of salt.
let her say whatever she wants - be supportive.

My ex wife did the same.I have three kids and she kept sending me out with them. She decided she needs her time alone. Now she has it I divorced her!

Exactly what you just wrote! My assumption is ya'll been married a long time? Raised kids, now grown and moved out? If true, my friend I know exactly what she means, because I am that way now after almost 29yrs with my husband.
Did the mom thing.
Did the "Inlaw's thing" with his family.(kissing butt, BBQ's, drama, etc)
Did the running around with the girls thing..
Work almost 40hrs a week still, sooooo......
Now I do what I want to do, when I want to do it, and I don't want to answer to anyone either!!!!
Not that young and stupid girl who tolerated unhealthy relationships with toxic family members, mine or his.
Just don't have time for petty drama, or crappy friends who really only want to be your friend if you can DO something for them.....I like keeping to myself and do what I want to do.....
When your closer to Death then you are High school???
At some point and time, some of us just don't have the need or the time we want to waste on stupid crap, and want to do things for ourself now, after YEARS of doing things for everyone else!
Doesn't mean I want to find a lost love, or new one, or go screwing around!!! We women aren't Robots, and at some point and time in our lives, with what I wrote above, um, we are human and need some quiet time to ourselves, and don't want to have to answer to anyone anymore.....doesn't mean I don't talk to my husband, but if I want to go shopping by myself, "I'm running to the store, I'll be back in a few", that's it....not lengthly detailed of account for my time kinda crap.

It sounds as if she has reached that time when she is facing up to the fact she is ageing and that can be tough! Reassure her that you love her.

andy c
it means you're gonna be screwed for a while. I'm going through the same crap brother. keep the faith- and go golfing; whether or not you know how to play, or fishing, fishing's good. how long have you guys been married? me 23 years.

I guess it depends on what kind of space she is talking about.. By not wanting to answer to anyone sounds kinda strange to me. If I want space, that means something totally different but I am accountable for what I do.....

Do you mean she is going through menopause. Give her her space as a lot of marriages don't last once she finds the person she always thought she could be. She wants to be her own person and you need to respect that.

It means either you are a suffocating control freak, or she's wanting to shop for a new boyfriend.

It means she wants some time to herself. She may just be "up to here" with talking things out. Best not to press her on anything.

I've been on your side and I know how hard it is to feel like you know nothing about what's going on. Use the time to figure out what you want for yourself.

I need some time....I need some space. I just need to find myself. These are the words of someone who has their cake and wants to eat it too.

All of these things unfortunately mean - Someone is showing me interest and I want to try out the waters. By the time you hear those words 99.9% of the time it is already happening.

The BEST thing you can do is give her what she asks for - without anger. Walk away without anger!!! Tell her you don't deserve to be treated like this and that you are surprised she would do this to you. But you don't deserve this and you hope she is happy.

Get SUPER busy. Go do something you love to do...hobbies, friends etc. Change your focus. If you focus on her you will become mentally unstable, irrational, angry and depressed.

Right now she is holding an anchor that will drag you and her under. Give her the space she needs to feel like it will feel when she is alone. Allow her so "swim" back to you. But make sure you swim fairly far away to she worries about YOU drifting off.

You both went into this for forever. If she is attempting to re-write the contract that is a breach of contract.

She is confused and will try to reel you back in when you "drift". But she won't let go of her anchor unless you swim far enough away so that she has to make the decision to drop the anchor and swim to you - with great effort - or stay with the anchor and see where that get her.

Good luck and I hope this helps. That is a very tough road you are on.


exactly what she's saying...give her some space.....

It means that she is looking to spread her wings and fly, kick up her heals one more time, It means she wants to know if she's still attractive, Does she still have it. In actually she's game to go out and make a complete,--- of herself and she doesn't want any one to stop her.

its a excuse to go and have fun without answering to any one

You must have married very young, and she's regretting that she didn't have a life before you came along.

Brown eyed girl
She is tired of the hum drum life of being a wife and mother and now its her turn to have fun....

Pretty much means that she wants some space. Maybe she is feeling bored or worn out from the marriage or maybe she is just going through something that she does not feel like talking about. It is also possible that she may be considering moving on. The best thing you can do is respect her wishes and be supportive. Give her some space, but also let her know you are there for her if she needs to talk or just to have a shoulder to lean on.

i feel so sorry for you, i went through that about 4 years ago, its a hormonal thing, when women r goin thru the change it plays with her mind, she feels that she has given the majority of her life to looking after her family and putting them before her own needs, its a difficult time in a woman's life, its a bit of a reality check that we are not as young as we were and can no longer bear children, that is a big thing for a woman, it makes us feel old and unloved (although we are not in both cases) hang on in there, just be there for her it will pass and she will come out of it the person you used to know, trust me i have been there got the t shirt etc....... just love her

for how long? a week or a month or the rest of her life? if she really does need a short break, and just wants some time without people wanting something from her for a short bit, be a generous hero and say, whatever you want. any beleaguered woman can relate to that. i went away exactly one time with friends when my son was growing up, i can relate to her request.

if she really doesnt want to be married and come and go as she pleases, that would be a different answer.

two things, first she may have not do the things she wanted to do before she got married. second she may she her friends that doing they own thing with out having to answer to anyone and she want to experiences that; and she may have found some that make her feel thing that she is not getting at home.

Ooops well I went throught this about 8 years ago , and ultimately decided I wanted a divorce. I did get to do whatever I wanted but that really wasn't what I needed. What I was needing was a "sense of belonging" and for whatever reason home was not getting it for me. But it was my fault.

Give her space, let her work out her problems, everything should be fine. Give it time.

She is trying to figure out who she is. Being married, maybe having kids she's lost her identity. Now she's your wife, mom, etc. She needs time to find herself again. The best thing you can do is support her and give her some space.


She is feeling like she has been a wife and a mother for so long that she has forgotten how to be herself.

Give her the space that she needs. Let her go out and party the night away, as long as she comes home to you and your bed. She will get fed up again with partying and realise that the grass isn't always greener and that she is much better off being in a relationship with you!

Unfortunately, there is no way to tell her this without it getting her back up so, if you love her, you have to let her find out for herself.

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