Home     Links     Contact Us     Bookmark  
 
   Homepage      News      Legal Forum      Dictionary  
Home : Legal Forum : Marriage & Divorce

Should I let cheating son inlaw back in my home?
Find answers to your legal question.





Should I let cheating son inlaw back in my home?

My son Inlaw cheated on my daughter twicethe first time while they were still dating . They have been married 8 yrs. and have 3 boys. He claims it was an emotional affair. I don't believe him. Out in a park at 3:00 a.m. drinking. Dozens of cell phone calls. Even called the other woman at my house Thanksgiving day and told my husband he was talking to his Mother. We have alway treated are son inlaw with respect. This is painful for my daughter but she has taken him back. My son inlaw is not a good example for my grandsons. My husband and I don't want him back in are home are we wrong?


    




Young and Wise
Rating
no but if your daughter has toke him back then you have to respect that and try to treat him as you would any other relative


Bev
Rating
Mind your own business!

Support your daughter if and when she asks for your help.


NestleGirl
While it is your house and your rules, it is ultimately up to your daughter on if she is going to be with him or not. I say, let him come into your house again, but be very indifferent to him. Do not act as if you are happy to see him since you aren't and don't do things you would've normally done for him. Just don't make a huge deal out of it so that the children don't get hurt. If you find some alone time with him, talk to him about how his actions hurt you, not only because it hurt your daughter, but because you loved him too, and he let you down. Then, go from there on how he reacts to your conversation on how you will treat him in the future. Good luck...


Shel
Rating
It is your house, but she is your daughter. I was in a relationship like this for 8 years before I realizes what a huge mistake I was making. The more people who tried to point out his faults the more I tried to defend him. When my mother finally let it go and just supported me I began to realize what I was doing. By not letting him into your home you are putting a wedge between you and your daughter. You are also giving your son-in-law the opportunity to give your grandsons what ever excuse he wants as to why he is not allowed in. My advice is this. It is like watching your child get his/her first wound. It is just as painful for you to watch as it is for them to feel, but with enough love they will get through this hurt too. Just be there to fully support her.


san8483
honestly that's your daughter choice to be with him not your nor your husband only thing you can do is stand by her side when she needs you the most. The more you force them apart the more they are going to be together & you don't want to lose your child over her choices


lara
Yes you should let him back in your house he cheated of his wife not you and his wife forgave him and took him back.


KD
Rating
You are not wrong. In the same way that your son-in-law has to set an example for his kids, you have to set an example for yours. If your daughter can't see that he's wrong for her, then she's part of the problem. I wouldn't let either one of them back in the house until they'd been in couple's therapy for a year.


Miki
Rating
yes u r wrong. u think u r punishing your sil for his sins, but u r not. when u set up rules like that u r actually punishing your daughter and putting her in an arkward position. this is her family, her children's father. what happens when u invite your daughter and grandsons to christmas dinner and not their father. u r tearing a family apart on an important day. your daughter may hold a grudge against u.

u need to mind your business your daughter decided to forgive him. u don't have to forgive him. my thought is that he will cheat again and your daughter will find out and leave him for good.


Quasimodo
Nope. If your daughter wants to be played for a nitwit what can you do? Of course it hurts but she's the master of her own destiny. If she whines because this is your stance on this tough. You are entitled to your opinions based upon your morals and after all...it is your house.
If she holds the grandkids hostage because of this and you don't get to see them (as most females do...always using the kids as tools) then thats worse. The sad part about it is he won't change and your daughter will eventually get fed up with it. of course she'll never take responsibilty for her original screw up so be prepared to hear her complain and whine because of her own stupidity.


DEBBY'S BABY
Rating
No your not wrong for not wanting him in your household, however you must respect your daughter's decision to try to make her marriage work.


fortyninertu
No he should be sent packing


?
Rating
you need to think of your daughters feelings too, I don't really know what I'd do in your situation


Forever_Young
Rating
You may not be wrong in how you feel, however, your daughter has forgiven him, taken him back and he is the father of your grandson's regardless of the example he is setting so to keep peace take your cue from your daughter if she is trying to work thru it then be supportive of her decision and try to make it easier for her.


MACmommy
Rating
While you don't agree with your daughters choice, there are more feelings to think of than your own. First of all, there is your daughters feelings. She apparently wants to try and work things out and you should respect that decision. Regardless of how wrong you feel she is. Secondly, and most importantly, are the kids feelings. If you outcast thier father, that could create feelings of resent towards either you or towards their father. I believe the children should be sheilded from the emotional pains of an adulterous parent as much as reasonably possible. Lastly, this could cause your daughter and their children not to visit as much...causing your bond with the children to slowly dwindle. As wrong as infidelity is, if your daughter thinks he is changing, don't treat her as though she is mentally lacking. Just be there for her when she needs you, and give him the opportunity to prove he's changed. Best of luck, especially with the holdiay season in full swing. Remember the children first....


Bunny
Absolutely not you are NOT wrong at all! Your daughter should let him know how it would be to not have her and maybe he might learn his lesson! She needs to give him emotional pain so he'll understand what everyone goes through because of those good for nothing street w****s and your so-in-law!


sexyswells42
nope you are real parents and that's whats up. if your daughter wants to be an emotional mess then by all means let her make her own mistakes. on the other hand you nor your husband have to put up with his nonsense so i say dont let the bum in an let him know why, it's your home and cheaters are not allowed and if your daughter does not like it then she can stay on the other side of the door with him . just let her know the when she comes to her senses you will always be there for her and the kids .because she is gonna need place to stay as well as a shoulder to cry on because he is gonna keep doing it because she keeps letting him back . lol and HAPPY HOLIDAYS


john
Rating
no.


bridgette c
Rating
Your home, your rules. But how is this going to effect you and your daughters relationship? She has to be the one that deals with her own stuff, love her support her and catch her when she falls. She'll know when enough is enough. She doesn't need everyone making her miserable, she has enough crap on her plate.
Forgiveness is a very important tool, maybe you should start this lesson with yourselves and your grandsons will learn a very valuable thing from you.


Royalhinney
No, you are not wrong. Tell your daughter that she deserves better than what she's taking back and that it would hurt you too much to watch her go through that again.


Blinky
Rating
No, your home, your rules.


me me me
No. He hurt one of your precious things in the world and for you to take him back in is hurting yourself repeatedly.


tcbtoday123
Rating
YOU ARE CERTAINLY NOT WRONG AND I WOULD REMIND BOTH OF THEM THAT THEY TOOK VOWS, ONE OF WHICH WAS TO BE FAITHFUL TO EACHOTHER. HE NEEDS A SWIFT KICK OUT THE BACK DOOR W/ HIS SUITCASE IN HAND.


Been There~Done That!
No.

It is your home and your daughter needs to respect that. She also needs to realize that he will never change and by her taking him back every time gives him the ammo to do it again and get away with it.

She needs to consider the children in this and keep them from having to live with dishonesty. They should be her first priority not her own selfish thoughts. I hate to sound ugly but she is being selfish by wanting to continue to put up with it and expecting her children to be drug along with her.

Let her read these when you have all the answers you want and maybe she might get the idea that she needs to rethink her ways. She needs to consider what she wants in life besides being done the way he has done her. There is better out there for her.


jetta
Heck no yall are not wrong for not wantin him back in yall home. He has some nerve to put your daughter and you guys through that. Emotional affair? What emotional affair? First of all, if he has a family, he shouldn't be in yall home any way. He should be out providing for his family. And secondly, he has a nerve to cheat and want to come back. For what? It is obvious he wasn't thinkin about that when he went out and did what he did. Your daughter is wrong for takin him back. The only thing is that he can't stay at the other woman house so he has to have some where to lay his head and some where to go when he need a fix, if you know what I mean. It is awful and I feel sorry for you and your daughter. I would kick his sorry behind to the curb. If your daughter doesn't like it, I would tell her to join him. Put your foot down b/c it appear to me that home boy think he is going to have his cake and eat it too:) NOT!


atbkkj
Rating
your not wrong but you have to decide if you are willing to lose your daughter and grandchildren, im sure he knows how you feel and once a cheater always a cheater so he will mess up again and your daughter will need you to be there for her


Roberta
If you want a relationship with your daughter and grandchildren, you are going to have to include your son-in-law. Your daughter knows what he is and she is still with him, so it's up to you as she has made her choice.


BUBBLES
If your daughter is living with you then you are correct.

If she is living on her own and with this idiot, you could make it worst for her and your grandsons. And he could try to prevent your daughter from seeing you.


Mia l
No it's your home.
Tell you daughter to wisen up.
If she wants to live with hijm- go find their own place and do their heart ache there.


Common Sense
No, you are correct..





 Enter Your Message or Comment


User Name:  
User Email:   
Post a comment:




Legal Discussion Forum



Copyright (c) 2009-2013 Wiki Law 3k Friday, October 31, 2014 - Trusted legal information for you.
Archive: Forum  |  Forum  |  Forum  |  Links
0.034