Should I say yes or no?

You ask, I answer

what was your first thought?

"YES!", or "OH SH*T!"

there you go. if you have doubts, then don't do it. you are too young to get married right now, if you aren't finished school, etc. why doesn't your mom like him? you are an adult, and are able to make decisions for yourself. good luck.

Mom of 2

You should say no. LIVE your life. He may still be there later when you are ready to commit but you should not pass up going to college or have him interfere with it. If your mother doesnt like you 'husband' its going to be an issue.

nomoreaccount

If it's taking this long say "no". You have time to do what you feel comfortable doing. If you already feel this unsure than its not a good life decision. And marriage shouldn't just be a good life decision it should be the best decision.

tylremily

If after a month of thinking about it and you're still not sure your answer should be no.

Jessica

i think that if its taken a month and ur sstill thinking about it you should say no. i'm not sayiing u don't love him but u have ur whole life ahead of u... theres no need to rush... go to college... figure things out with ur mom and follow ur heart

*Tete* =)

you no what i like the way you think you had already answered your own question. you like school. and your notntrying to mess that up and you are thinking about how that would make your mom feel if you had gone off to get married .so all i can say is go on off to school if he is a good man and love you like he says he does than it would not matter bother him if you guys just wait a little bit longer.

Michaela

The first reason you should say no is that you're way too young (both of you) for marriage... Live a little, learn a little, earn a little before you could think of marriage!
Other reasons... well, you pretty much said it yourself. When the right time (and the right man) comes will not ask yourself "should I say yes or no". You're just gonna say it.

kathyw

You need to get older before you even consider marriage. The reason is that you think you make bad decisions by yourself. How are you going to learn to make good decisions by yourself unless you live independently for a while?
The fact that you've been going together for 5 years can be a positive thing or a negative thing. Yes, you know each other really well. But for 5 years, you haven't experienced dating other people and getting to know them EQUALLY well.
That's not a good thing.
The fact that your mom doesn't like him may have to do with her realization that you haven't been dating other people a lot and you are so young. 19 is pretty young for this modern era of dating.
He definitely would interfere with your college work. It's going to be difficult to study and interact with other students, most of whom are single and many are guys, so you're looking at a very restricted college experience even if you did manage to go.
I think you have doubts that are pretty deep but they have nothing to do with your feelings for him. The doubts have to do with your acknowledgement that the timing is not right for marriage and life is long, you may not have opportunities later that you can have now - college, for example.
What marriage means - total commitment to each other and usually, starting a family - is not what you absolutely have to have when you are 19. College is, friends are, dating and travel and free time are....

pinelake302

If you are unsure now you are making a mistake to say yes and get married. If there are any doubts don't do it.

If you want to get an education go get it first. If he is still in the picture then and he asks you you can be sure you will be better informed and may not have the feeling you have now. Don't give up education if you are not sure about the guy.

marisanj

NO!! You are only 19, you want to pursue a career, and unfortunately, mom's MOST of the time know best. If the relationship is ment to be, it will be there when you finish college, if not, just remember the good times and go on with your life.

CindyLu

You should say NO. If the answer was yes you would not have taken a month to reply, you would not be asking us either you would have said Yes loud enough to bring down the house. You did not to that and you are still hesitating to give him an answer. That is your answer. You are not ready to get married and I bet he is not either. More like he is insecure and wants to lock you up with a ring so that he no longer has to try to hold on to you or fear you will "get away". Trust your own instincts and say NO I am NOT READY for MARRIAGE, Period. Then go to college and make yourself a life of your own before you go and tie yourself to another.

juggalizzle

You are 19, Please, go to school, and become who you are going to be before you settle down into Marriage.

Kitty

If you have to ask, say no.

tpurtygrl

Say no, handle your career first then if he is still around and the feeling is the same then do it but not until then. You are worth waiting for.

CC Babydoll

It is sad if your parents do not like your mate, but they don't have to live with them, you do. So I would not let my parents feelings interfere with my life decisions on a mate.
If you feel it would interfere with your work concerning college...college is very important as it is your career for the rest of your life and you should go for the education for sure and for certain...then tell him yes (if you do want to marry him) but that you don't want to actually get married until you finish college. If he loves you he will wait. If he does not love you then he will not wait and you won't have to worry about any of this.

be cool...

Survivors Ready?

The two reasons you gave are the best reasons to say no. Especially that your mother doesn't like him, sometimes mother's (and other outsiders) can read a person better because they aren't emotionally vested.

Concernedmom

Sounds like you know your answer.
No as you are too young and have your own goals to get finished or even started prior to marriage.

smile4u

If your not 100% sure then the answer has to be no. You would be sure if you wanted it to be yes. Your still young. Wait some more time. Tell him you want to go to school and finish your education. If he doesn't like that then the answer should be NO. A person that really loves and cares about you won't stand in your way of a good future. Good Luck

PonderousPork

whats the rush again? keep it on hold till you think youre ready. its your life not his or your moms. i suggest getting done with college first it will make things a lot easier for you in life. he probably just proposed because you were going to college and he didnt want you to leave him. if he cant wait, let him go. it wouldnt have worked out anyways then.

good luck

â™¥The Mrs.â™¥

If you have been pondering it a month and STILL ask a bunch of people who dont know either one of you, tell him no.

Blame it on college and but stay with him. This will give you a few years to sort things out and for you to get your education.

Good luck.

Mr. Bigglesworth

Say no, it's way too early and you have so many big decisions to make over the next 5 years. Unless you want him to be a factor in all of your future at this point in your life.

thesunwasshiningonthesea

Yes, BUT only after you've graduated from college!

mayihelpyou

You can tell him that you want to wait until you graduate college. This will give you both time. No need to rush into this as you are both still very young.

sportsfanstl1

Don't worry about your mom. If you want to finish college, tell him you want to wait to get married until after college. If you are in love now, 4 years won't change that. To me 19 is a little young to get married.

mexifelio

Well, it seems from your list that you put mostly reasons that you SHOULDN'T get married so maybe you should follow your gut instinct and say no.

If you had said something like "I really love him and I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with him" then I would have been inclined to say yes.

The fact that you are posting this question tells me you ought to wait. Good luck to you, whatever you decide.

javelin

If the answer was not am immediate unquestionable yes, then it is no.

BTW, being together for 5 years, obviously means you started at 14. The years from 14-25 are the years you both will be changing as people more than ever again. The fact that you lasted this long together is amazing. Talk to your mom, and listen to her reasons, she might be right.

Mom23

If you are that unsure about it, then the obvious answer is no. Tell him that although you care about him a great deal, you are just not ready for marriage. There is nothing wrong with living life before settling down and you are only 19! Go to college, have some fun, live a little and then decide if you are ready for marriage or not. Good luck!

jennifer484

No one knows but you.I do think that you are too young though and education should come first to have a stable family you can take care of financially.

Chilling

say no

You have already answered this question yourself. When a man proposes to you and your first instinct isn't YES it means something. Either you don't love this guy or your not ready to be married. You're 19 and you've been with this guy for 5 years. That's amazing but maybe what you need is to take a break from this guy and get out there and experience life. I have a feeling if you let him convince you that your ready to get married then you will end up regretting it. There's a saying that I believe applies to your situation "If you love someone you should let them go if they come back then it was meant to be." At 19 and 20 I think you both need to experience other relationships and other parts of the world before either one of you will be ready to be married. Good luck making you choice.

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