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Should a wife be submissive to her husband? To the point of not going out with her friends if he's jealous.
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Should a wife be submissive to her husband? To the point of not going out with her friends if he's jealous.

It seems like all of my friends who are married are always afraid to ask their husbands if they can do something. I thought a husband was supposed to be your lover and friend. Not your probation officer. Im having a wedding and everyone thought it would be nice to spend a girls weekend out at myrtle beach. The first thing they say is "oh i dont think my husband will let me." I think thats just ridiculous. Women spend 9 months carrying their kids and they cant watch them for a weekend. Thats just lazy. Why would a man marry a woman he cant trust. What woman marries a guy who is so insecure. It sure seems like alot of people. Am i the only one out there with a man thats secure enough to say thats fine honey bring me back a souviner. Dont do anything I wouldn't do. Here these men are going to be with this woman for the rest of there lives. Surely they can spare one damn weekend. Help me out I'm frustrated. Maybe its the brand of friends I'm picking.
Additional Details
Let me explain "girls night out." In other words a bunch of women getting together having fun by swimming, eating, drinking and dancing with each other and gossip. We would be celebrating my womenhood and decision to marry one man whom I love and would not disrespect.Other men are not in the equation. Jealous husbands just assume that. I trust my man and he has his designated guys night out once a week. I know exactly what he does with them. He would know exactly what I would be doing. I feel it is healthy for him to have time to his self. People need a chance to breath and not be predictable. If you lose yourself in another person you become a clone and predictable. No one said you have to drown yourself in your family. You should know you are responsible to them and love them. But it is good for dad or mom to sometimes have time alone with the kids. Your kids get to learn you are individuals with personality. Not just a working, cleaning, cooking, huging object. So whats the deal


    




boots
Yes. She has to be submissive to his husband. Lucky are those women whose husbands are not strict and not a jealous type who have all their trust onto their wives. Trust always loves and never keep a record of wrongs.


serenity975428
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its a guy thing. most guy's become very protected of women afraid that someone else will come along and take them away. my hubby doesn't like it when i go out with some of my friends and i tell him tuff it. been my friends long before we got together and your just gunna have to deal with the fact i am gunna go out with them.


kellygirlaj
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Congratulations on finding the right man for you, and for being adult enough to know when to get married, AND for finding a man and not a boy to get married to. You're right, a lot of men don't know how to trust their spouses, and some are afraid to try. As for your friends, whose husbands won't "let" them do something with you, you're right again, they have married probation officers and not equal partners. I agree that a wife should consult her husband when she plans to do something, but she doesn't have to ask permission to have a girl's weekend out. She didn't marry her father, did she? Maybe your friends have some growing up to do to catch up with you.


Blue Jean
I understand your problem, I was in a relationship once with a guy who was so insecure that he insisted to know where I was at all times, and he even read my Emails and listened in on my phone calls. A woman should never have to ask her husband's permission for casual outings and such. It's a matter of trust.


Ranelle Jerome
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Traditionally men have been the dominant partner in their marriages, but I don't think this is healthy. It's not the "brand" of friends you've chosen, but their controlling husbands. Women don't always know how controlling their husbands will be until after they're married, and marriages that are not based on total trust will probably not last.


tonygayles
No they shouldnt. What kind of lifestyle does your friends have. First you have to think about the children. Can thier husbands handle the children without the wives? I know some husband can do that, but there are other things that we dont really know whats going on inside their household. Is Mrtyle Beach a place where all the single people go? Would the wives let thier husbands go to Mrytle Beach for the weekends? Try asking your friends that question. They'll tell you the truth and probably feel the same way as thier husband. It might be the wives thats feeling insecure if the husband went there. My wife dont have to ask me, she'll tell me where she is going.


tracystokes3
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It depends on the marriage. My first I wasn't allowed to do anything and had to ask to be able to go to the grocery (didn't last long).
Current hubby doesn't get asked, unless it's something really big and if he says no then I will talk it over with him. I alwasy take into consideration but that doesn't stop me if it is something I want for me. We all need some me time or time with the girls.


Life lover
Have your girls night out. If the husband can't take it then they are little boys afraid momma isn't going to come home . Poor them.


erica c
no a wife should not be submissive that is crazy i have girls night at least once a week as does my husband have his night we see each other every day we eat together we sleep together and we have to have time apart your girlfriends need to get they need to be more them selves and not what there husbands want them to be or do tell them to take control or they will go crazy with out at least some freedom they need to learn how to trust there wifes and there is nothing better than a girls night out


Steve
You basically have a trust problem with ur husband. Work on that first, I think


Wahenie
Rating
No because that is not being submissive it is him being in control
like a manic. When you get married you get married for better or for worse. You have but only one set of parents in life. When you get married people think it should be 50/50. No it should be a hundred percent on both of you guys part.
You don't have to contol each other or ask for permission cause you are not his daughter and he is not your son.
Now you give him the respect to know what you are doing and that is all you can do.
He is not your father and most women forget that. If he is secure enough with himself then he doesn't need to control you and if the women are secure with themselves then they don't need ask for permission.
Cause a man who marries a women they can't trust has issues themselves. Maybe the men in their lives were like that because you act on what you see growing up. I mean as kids we mirror what we see and that pattern continues on into our adult hood.
No you are not only one because before my mom died she had a relationship like yours.


jackson51
I have to agree w/you. I don't think an adult should have to ask permission to do something that they would enjoy doing that is totally harmless. If a spouse has to ask if their allowed to spend time w/thier friends then their mate is totally insecure! I would go whether my mate liked it or not. They'd just have to get over it or live w/the fact that I'm a grown woman ,free,white,and twenty one. like it or leave it!!!!!! I hope you find some strong friends to celebrate w/you at the beach!


married2004
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Just becuase your friends's marriages are like this doesn't mean yours will be the same. You seem to know yourself and your future husband respects and loves you, not your friends. No matter what, always stay true to yourself. A marriage is about communication and compromise. There will be times you need to put him before your needs and vice versa. But that does not mean you have to lose who you are.


game buddee
These types of things should be agreed upon or understood before you got married. Different people live different lifestyles and have different agreements. One couple may say threesomes are perfectly fine. However, my wife and I say no way in heck.

It's an individual decision, but when in a marriage - it becomes a decision both make together. If you waited until after marriage to make this decision and you disagree, you run into problems and will more than likely need a mediator to get through the decision proccess.


Samba Queen
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I think it's your friends. Perhaps your friends and/or their husbands are not educated adults? If I were you, I would broaden my horizons. Meet new people. If your spouse has never given you a reason to be suspicious and jealous, then there should be no problem with spending time apart from one another. Your friends need to get out more, apparently.


Mt.Dew
If you need a leash, go for it. controlling people only works if you allow it.


skipper12_gtar_hero_condor__hero
tell what u feel


StraightDrive
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What makes you think that your married friends should be as excited about your girls weekend as you are? Married women grow out of girlie pastimes. If all of them are telling the same reason, dont you get the hint? Their husbands are more important to them than your weekend party. You think you are the only independent female in your friends circle? Think again.


PRINCEZZ
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I think too many people are insecure or unhappy in their relationships. My husband has his fishing trips w/ his friends and I take advantage to hang out w/ my friends.... It helps you miss the other person... I think you are right


Susie G
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If your girlfriends really want to go to M. beach they will.. Really how many guys could really stop them. If it is true & they are worreid about "there women" going stray .. it is probably because that is what they would do in the same situation. Yeah ..they should think about that.

You & your girlfriends should go & have fun then set it up so you all do it at least once per year...
Like you said I am sure whatever is going on in their marriage / busy household ..kids..work .. etc..I am sure the men can handle it.


bored!!
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hmm a jealous husband..you know there's a saying " to suspect is simple if you take yourself as an example" based on experience, the jealous guys are usually the ones who cheat on their partner. these guys use jealousy as a defense mechanism to cover up their "m.o.", but then again there are guys who are just plain jealous


Dave. F
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OK, I would say no a wife doesn't have to submit to her hubby. It is a problem the hubby needs to "get over" , There is nothing wrong with the wife having some time just with her friends. Being married to someone doesn't mean you both give up time with friends.


crislag06
Rating
A jealous guy is nothing but trouble.


♫†☼☼♥Natasha♥☼☼†♫
That is a very good question. I will look back when you get an answer and see if that also best fits my needs. Because I really want to know this also.


ogenglishman
have you read through these pages ever? infidelitiy is rife, and those in drunken states often make mistakes.


FREAKZILLA
Rating
marriage = no more social life exept with your family

that's just the way it works


TomCruise
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I think you are wrong, Would you allow your husband to go out for a whole weekend, mabye they hold their husband to the same standard, did you ever think of that? It would be hypocritical for them to go with out getting permission first if they also require that from him


HE'S NOT INTO ME
It is definately an issue with your friends.
I had dated a guy who did that too- would throw a fit if I was going out to a girls night... imagine the fit he threw when he knew a couple guy friends who were in the area dropped by?! Ugh... glad to have kicked that one to the curb.
I'm definately a girl that won't be restrained, I make that very clear to any guys I see now- this is my life style- I go out with my friends, I might even take a vacation with my friends- deal with it, or I can't deal with you. So no! A wife shouldn't be submissive to her husband- she should have a life of her own!





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