Home     Links     Contact Us     Bookmark  
   Homepage      News      Legal Forum      Dictionary  
Home : Legal Forum : Marriage & Divorce

So bored with my husband..He doesn't want to do anything I'm interested in. We've drifted apart...Divorce?
Find answers to your legal question.

So bored with my husband..He doesn't want to do anything I'm interested in. We've drifted apart...Divorce?


well give it a little time and when u think it really isnt going to happen........divorse

k i w i ♥182
no dont look at the drastic as your first option, talk to him about it and tell him how deeply its affecting you. He should understand, he probably has something bothering him and you can help him solve it and be closer in the process. talk is the way out of this one

This happens a lot........
I would let him know how you feel.

No, counseling. Why doesn't he want to do anything you want to do? What was it that brought you together? Try to do those things. Just ask him why he doesn't want to do those things.

♥Livin' Life♥
Try spicing things up a bit. I hit that rut and we talked it over and mixed things up a bit and we are great now. Although, he still likes just staying home all the time.

Matthew E
Please, before you even consider a divorce discuss this issue with your husband. He may be just as bored with you as you are with him. Have you made any efforts to show interest in anything that he is interested in, or do you just feel that he should change for you and you need not make the same sacrifices or changes within yourself for him. Step back and take a look at the big picture, What may you have done or not done to alienate him from you. It is a 2 way street...Good Luck

dont you say in your wedding vows in sickness in health till death do us part?

I really dun understand one thing. Why do a lot of people think divorce is a solution to everything? I mean.... if your husband is a serial killer or abusive, etc.... that we can make an exception. But just because you think he's getting boring you want to ditch him? Maybe he finds you boring. Do things that interest him as well... not just interest you. In a relationship, we must always make a sacrifie. My husband went bezerk 'cos I spent too much, I decided to change and show him that I am not just useful to use up his $. I can also be a good wife, a good financial contributor to our hsehold expenses and I can budget just as well as his perfect sisters...

Very Honest
Forget divorce. That's not the answer to everything. Respect your marriage and do anything to make it work.

You have to confront him and tell him exactly how you feel and you want to know WHY this is happening? Does he love you? Well, you have to tell him that you love him (if that's true) and how he can help make this better and make you happy.

If he doesn't want to go along with anything you ask, then this is his problem. That's when you have to threaten that something has to be done about it, because it will only get worse and because you're not happy living like this. Say marriage is two people in love naturally making each other happy and you are there and willing to do whatever it takes to make it better. You'll know by his response, what's really going on.

Just let him know, you have control and you want it to change. Good Luck

DON"T get a DIVORCE!! It seems like these days everyone gets a divorce for the smallest things. Marriage is not easy which means you have to work on it. get help and talk about it. Yall fell in love for a reason and yall got married for a reason. People do change but don't get a divorce so soon!!

annabelle p
How many years have you been married? If you've been together for a long time, this is often the result. You find you have nothing in common. No interesting topic to discuss and argue about anymore; you start drifting apart, each to his own hobby or interest, even having a new set of friends sometimes totally different from the group you used to hang out with. You start to get irritated even by a simple mistake the other make. You cannot stay together for more than 10 minutes in one room before one of you gets bored and start picking at each other. What used to be fun doing together is now considered boring and tiring. But this doesn't ultimately mean that the loss of interest is a loss of feelings for each other. What may be mentally or physically boring is just that- loss of appetite for doing things together. But it does not mean you have stopped loving each other. You just need time to re-discover yourselves, to bring back the fun and the zest of being together. One of you has to make an effort- to work hard at keeping the relationship intact and alive. Usually it is the woman who does. Women does not like a broken relationship, a broken marriage. As women age, they need love and security of a loving man. So go ahead, make the love grow lovelier the second time around.

Geeez , that sounds so like my situation. I wish I knew the perfect answer to that. My husband and my interests is so far apart and he only meet half way on what he is interested in my things doesn't make sense to him so he will absolutely not do it.So I am bored and unhappy. But I have a child do think of. and I also love him very much and my life will not be the same without him.I will miss him. Divorce is a big step. You should lay your feelings out on the table and if you don't have kids or your kids are out of the house then maybe you should move on. Remember that you once loved this person and that you might think that you don't anymore but once you get divorced its final and you might have the ever lasting heartache of not being able to be with that person again.And that can make a person very unhappy.And drive you nuts!!!

Take a vacation to somewhere far away where neither of you speak the language. It'll give you time to rediscover one another. You'll either reconnect and have the time of your lives or realize that it's not meant to be. My husband and I go to Italy every two years and we fall in love all over again each time we go.

Why don't YOU take interest in his hobby....For instance, if he likes golf, have him give you a lesson...If you take interest in him a little more, maybe he will come around...Is he depressed?? Mid life crisis?? Talk and find out the root of the cause before divorce. Maybe there is a miscommunication and he thinks YOU are drifting...Good luck!

Divorce is never an answer for a couple's problem...everyone knows that's bad...maybe talk to him about this issue.. see if he is willing to save your relationship and get close with you again..

Sondra D
I hate to say this, but most people do have a hand in creating their own universes. Some how, in some way you, you contributed to the life you now have. If you are bored, it's because you have created this for yourself. You need to find things that you are interested in and that excite you. When you become interested and excited, then those around you will follow suit. Quit blaming and start creating!

so do what you want to do. He may find it interesting and join you. Don't look to your husband to fulfill your life. He sure is not looking for you to fulfill his life.

Best of luck.

Any good divorce attorney will tell you to go to counseling first. Relationships are like bank accounts, you only get out what you invest. We rush into these relationships because we are "in love". Once the novelty wears off, we look elsewhere for our thrills. If he's "Not the man you married", then maybe you aren't the woman he married, or maybe your expectations were unrealistic. In any case, find a professional to talk to and try to sort out the mess. Often it's something in your past that you won't deal with that pops out and ruins the present relationship. If you are in and out of relationships, this is very likely.

Divorce?? Isn't that a little extreme??!!
I have been married for 15+ years and believe me my hubby and I have many interests in different things. Go out with some friends, a sister or other family member and do something you enjoy....he should go out with his friends, family members and do things he enjoys. YOU CANNOT BE TOGETHER ALL THE TIME! You will become bored of each other. Give him some space and take some for yourself, he may be feeling overwhelmed and smothered. (Please understand I'm not saying for you to tell him to go out with the guys, get drunk and see some strippers...I'm talking about things like a ball game, movie, playing sports...etc. and I'm not talking about every day or night either). Believe me it will make him look forward to spending time with you and also give you something to talk about.

If we ageed to divorce, will that influence your decision?
I'm not being sarcastic...my point is, divorce is a very serious subject, not to mention "conclusive"
You need to have a serious discussion with your spouse...

runnin w' scizzors
I sometimes wish my ex and I hadn't jumped so fast to get a divorce. What if we had tried to find some activities we both were interested in? Maybe something different from the same old same old. Divorce lasts for a long time. Don't go there too fast.

that's just a cop out!!! you have to work on a marriage just like you have to maintain a car so it will run smoothly & its your job as well as the hubby & if you have kids you are self centered & only think of yourself, you will destroy the kids life,even if they are adults it will hurt them & their relationships because they will say if mum & dad cant make it how can they

I think your age is showing. Women "fall out of love" and the husbands don't have clue.

I think females are hardwired to continually analyze the relationship and then seek another mate rather than trying to fix whats wrong. What happened to "I can change him?"

The both of you have to work on finding common ground. Every married couple has to do this very thing. We all go through times where we are bored and feel like strangers. Wait it out and work on going out with him. Find out why he doesn't want to do anything and let him know it is really affecting you in a negative way.

Divorce is a cop out.
It sounds like he is getting bored doing everything you want to do.
Howz about sitting down and discussing something he wants to do, You might find you have not drifted as far apart as you thought you had.

mommy & wife is pregnant!
I would try everything possible before divorce. Have you gone through marriage counseling? Divorce is taken too lightly now-a-days. You both vowed to be with each other, and I think you need to do what you can to keep that promise.

Tee G
Just find some activities to do together that you may interest in the past. Good luck!
Divorce may not be the solution to everything.

I have felt the same way dear friend until I read the book "Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian. I also read "Power of a Praying Woman" by the same author. It helped me so much to open my heart to God. God is very real and He hears our prayers. Prayers are very powerful. You just need to ask Him into your heart and believe& have Faith. Your life will change & you will never regret it. Read my profile and if you need further encouragement, email me.

Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

Jeremiah 29:11-13
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with ALL your HEART.

My husband hasn't wanted anything to do with me for 40 plus years. Everything was fine until I said I DO and we had sex once. From that point until now its been all down hill He cancelled our honey moon, decided to start working midnights, with weekends mid week. Moved all his things down stairs and set up house keeping. Also he worked all his vacation days, and all the holidays so he didn't have to buy me something or be with me and our families. We have never went out together after we were married. I have friends who don't even know I'm married. It took awhile to accept the fact that this is the way my life should be. I've only had sex once no affection or intimacy. My dream is that someone would just hold me so I could cry. Why I stayed with this person, I really don't know. I know I didn't want to embarasse myself and our families.

 Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:  
User Email:   
Post a comment:

Legal Discussion Forum

Copyright (c) 2009-2013 Wiki Law 3k Sunday, February 14, 2016 - Trusted legal information for you.
Archive: Forum  |  Forum  |  Forum  |  Links