Son's wife is abusive and demanding-more advice??

Gwen H

if u have talked to him and he wont' listen to u there is nothing u can do. Hoe he leaves her

Halo

he should leave her. if he doesn't want to , then he must love the abuse

â™¥ â™¥

get marriage counseling

Admin Queen

Not to be too cute about this, but some men are "into" being slapped by their women. What you see as mistreatment might be incredibly exciting for a submissive male. Personally I think submissive males are very unnappealing, but she must see something in him.

tobygross73

you answered your own question. He's a man now. You always telling him to leave her is probably in part why she doesn't like you. As hard as it is to watch our children make decisions we don't agree with, we have to let them. They are adults. Cherish the times you do talk with him, and lay off the intrusive attitude. Just be there for him when/if he needs you.

tandkalexander

He is a man. You need to mind your own business, keep your comments to yourself, be supportive, and LET HIM HANDLE IT.

Been There~Done That!

It is up to your step-son to see these things in her, not you.

rache0116

you need to talk to your son without her being there.... mother's ALWAYS know whats best...

Whitty

If you're always telling him to leave her, I'm not surprised that she hates you.

You shouldn't be giving your (step)son such direct instructions but instead be there for him and let him sort out his own life and relationships.

No one, except those two, knows what really goes on behind closed doors.

I'm not telling you to butt out entirely, but you've had your say, now all you can do is be there to support him.

I hope it works out.

shyNquiet

In short, it takes 2 to tango. He is no doubt helping to enable this treatment . What did you say /do when this woman Slapped your son in front of you? Was there a trait your son learned from you that makes him passive? What are his feelings on divorce . To divorce her because you say so is to perpetuate his passive behavior.
I would say 1st for him to approach his wife with prospects of a marriage councilor. Also to look into the protocols of divorce in your state as she could leave him with out the shirt on his back if he doesnt play his cards right. It seems that both spouses have deep seeded issues ,and 1 place to start fixing them can be on the couch of a marriage shrink 1st . The wife will resist because she is in hog heaven ,but then he can throw in the threat of divorce as an ultimatum only AFTER he has doen his divorce research. Good luck to him

alialoggi

Do you have a shirt that says, "Meddling mother in law? Give me a break! You don't know what goes on in their house? She doesn't clean, how would you know? My house looks like its never clean either, its called kids and a husband who don't pick up after themselves. Maybe that is why she yells when things are untidy. He is a grown up! She doesn't let him talk to you? Get real, he chooses not to talk to you, you are intrusive! He knows how to pick up a phone or how to get in touch with him. Its about time you start laying blame where it belongs, or else you'll be seeing less and less of the kids, if there are any. You need to smarted up here!

Sounds like women have always dominated him. It is time to take a step back and let him figure this out himself.

TotalRecipeHound

<<I'm always trying to tell him to leave her? He's a man now>>

Why are you interfering in this marriage? Your son has both a mouth and the ability to file for divorce. Keep your butt out of it. It's not you marriage.

Kristi P

as you say, he's a man now and he has to make his own decisions and choices.....be supportive of him and be a good listener if he wants to talk about it, but i would suggest not always coming down on her to him or telling him to leave her because that may push him further away from you

Bubblegum

easy, there is probably something you have failed to mention. There was a deep issue when I couldn't stand my husband or his family and their side only wanted to look at it from the perspective that "its my son, I love him and that's all I need to understand"...well that wont get you anywhere. The best way to figure out why she's being so bitter is to take the time and dissect her issues if you really care about your son's relationship. He didn't marry her because she was always like that right?

JACK'D...

I couldn't stand it if one of my girls was with anyone abusive and negative like the girl is BUT, your son is a grown man and if he is willing to deal with it then there is nothing you can do but stick by him. The more you throw in his face that he should divorce her the more likely the chance that you'll lose him in the process. He seems like a bright guy and he'll come around and realize that she isn't right for him----eventually!! GOOD LUCK!!

starbucks4jessica

Just try to be supportive of him...offer any help that you can...and wait. Eventually he will get tired of being treated like crap...and he will not need to hear "I told you so" BUT "Son, I love you and I'm here for you...anything I can do to help?" You may even want to try to get along with his wife...so that you don't allow her to push you out of his life altogether. Then he will definitely feel "alone" and helpless. I would suggest that he ask his wife to get some counseling. There is never ANY reason good enough to hit someone else!

angelheart

He needs to wake up !! she sounds like a real ****** ..really i don't think you can do it for him ,he has to see the light .good luck i hope he divorces her.

all_smiles

No, she isn't treating him right but your step-son is a grown man and it's up to him to decide how he wants to live. The reason she doesn't want you to talk to him is because she probably knows you are telling him to leave her. Even if she's in the wrong, who would like that? I'm sure your son will have his fill of her sooner rather than later...... until then just try to be supportive of him without tearing her down. He knows he's not in a good situation, just don't make yourself look as bad as her by talking bad about her. He's grown, he will leave her when he's ready.

Me, Too

Your best bet is to stay out of it. Let your son know...and his wife...that you are there to help them in any way you can, but they have to iron out their differences by themselves.

Your post reminds me of the old story about how "my son's wife is a lazy slob who does nothing but spend money while the housework isn't done, while my daughter's husband is a wonderful man who gives her a big allowance to go shopping all of the time and waits on her hand and foot, helping with the housework."

Get out of the situation between your son and his wife. They will either work it out or split up, but either way, it isn't your decision...it's theirs!

barthebear

It must be difficult for you to realize that your son would want to endure her. I guess he is blinded. If you have told him you are concerned about her behavior towards him and he does nothing, I dont know what else you can do. Just ask him one more time if he is happy? Its not your business but in a way I see your point in stopping this before there are children involved. If he is your stepson, maybe can your husband talk to him ( preferably both of you together get him at a dinner out?)

~Bella~

Confront the B***H. Tell him he deserves better than a gold-digger.

Replace

"She doesn't let me talk to my son much (she hates me), but I'm always trying to tell him to leave her?"

Well, no wonder she won't let you talk to him !!

You wanted advice, here it is:
MYOB. It's his life and his wife.

neechiewoman

He's your stepson, which is close to being your son. You should call his cell and ask to meet him. Talk to him in a nice tone and tell him how you feel. If he's okay with the way she talks to him, leave it alone. If she is who you say she is, he'll leave her on his own.

darwin e

i wish you luck... he is a man and your son , support him hopefully he will figure out what a ***** she is

ralahinn1

quote :"He's a man now"
Let go. He should be old enough to fight his own battles.
( I have an adult daughter, and I worry about some of her choices, but they are hers).

nonldsinutah

He needs his balls back. But it's not likely his wife is going to give them back to him.

timestalker78

He's an adult. Let him deal with it himself.

A_jester

She must be really attractive, otherwise i wouldnt take that if i were him.

i suggest you have a heart to heart talk with him about the subject.

Fappyslapps

This is a clear sign of spousal abuse. I suggest you talk to your son to get him in some counseling to start out. The counselor should be able to help him with the rest.

He needs to get out of that relationship if it's as bad as you think. An abusive relationship is worse than no relationship at all.

Angeldelight

firstly i think you should keep your nose out your son is a grown man, ask yourself why he is still with this woman? if this woman is ordering him around then he should talk to her about it or just leave the relatiponship all together
its their house they have to live in it so if its a mess thats there problem not yours and the abuse if he isnt happy then he will walk but only in is own time i know you want to be there for your son but sometimes people have to make there own mistakes in life you just be a support when it does finally breakdown

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