Home     Links     Contact Us     Bookmark  
 
   Homepage      News      Legal Forum      Dictionary  
Home : Legal Forum : Marriage & Divorce

What's the best way to leave my husband?
Find answers to your legal question.





What's the best way to leave my husband?

I want a divorce but i am 8 months pregnant, have two children already and haven't worked in like 4 or 5 months(so i have no savings or income). I don't know anyone who would let me stay with them til i get back on my feet but i really don't want to be dependent on my loser *** husband anymore. Any suggestions other than waiting til i get some money and a plan of attack?


    




hello123
don't do it for the sake of the children it's better if u stay 2gether. there's way 2 many ppl getting dicvorced. wait and maybe hell become a better person.....


interstellar
thats what you call a 'unplanned' pregnancy lol


Abomination of Desolation
You have to have some friend that will let you live with them. Or family. I wish you luck though. Have you tried counseling?


Franalan
Rating
There's government programs to help people with situations like this. You can get on WIC for basic food needs. Go to Dshs to get food stamps and cash. Go to www.hud.gov for information on housing. You could also post your situation on www.craigslist.com and someone will most likely help you out. What state do you live in?


Gator
Rating
Mom or Dad ?


raceman
i would sure give you a place to stay but you are probably far from Ga. good luck and God bless. it takes alot of guts to wake up and realize you married a loser and do something about it. on the other hand things are tough all over so finding a job may not be easy.good luck


Bitchy Girl
know thy enemy
have endless patience
be willing to risk everything
thats how people win stuff


Maggie's HeyBabe
Pray


isabella
Rating
i dont think u shoold divorce him.
figure the fricken thng out
marriage is a commitment that u said u would have forever
gah


Lauren
do you have family/friends?


marycontrary9
Rating
Try the American Red Cross, try churches in your area, try homeless shelters, try shelters for battered women... anything.

You and your kids are worth it.

Good luck, hon!!!!


cupidgirl.
maybe apply for government help until you start working again?


redbird
You do not say why you want to leave so badly right now, but if it is important to you, call a domestic violence hot line and try to get into a shelter. All the women there are in pretty much the same way financially but I understand that the organizations do what they can to get you a job or job training.


Jordan Pickell
Rating
Yes call your parents up, or possibly any siblings or even extended family, cousins etc. Pack your things take the kids and leave, I'm sure you've got a good reason for leaving your husband. If you don't act now then something terribly might occur in the future.

either that, or try and work something out, seek counseling but put your children as first priority then help yourself and don't let him control you or do anything to hurt you.

Once you get out, seek a good lawyer and have the system take care of your husband, get a divorce or you can stay at home and hope to god everything will be alright.


Good Luck and god bless

Jordan


shanni
well all i can tell you is that you should do what is best take some time to yourself..... and the confront your husband with what is bothering you about your marriage. Tell him how you feel and see if you can come to a compromise.


Tainted Heart
Considering you don't have an income, anywhere to stay and the fact that you have children to think about there is not much that you can do. I'm sure he is not willing to give you a divorce and support you until you can stand on your own two feet. Have you even considered a marriage counselor because things can't be all that bad seeing as how you are expecting. You really need to make your children your top priority and do what's best for them at the moment.


Me
Rating
If you leave now, you know you'll just end up going back to him when the baby arrives. So basically you'll just end up making yourself miserable trying to sleep on someones couch for the next month to prove that you're over. Meanwhile, he'll be like yessss. No more pregnant hormonal wife to deal with, and will start cracking beers.

My point is, there is no point in leaving him at this point in time (unless he's abusing you.) Wait until the baby is here and a little older, make a plan, then go. Be smart about it cause you'll have 3 little lives depending on you.


inoffensive nickname
It's only a month away. You're pregnant and emotional, and you're going to need him there to watch your other two while the baby is very young. You will need at least that much time for your body to heal. In the meantime, why don't you try taking walks to relax (with your doctor's approval), and maybe talk to your pastor or a counselor or something.

Focus your energies on getting healthy, taking care of the kids, and coming up with a plan of attack for leaving. You may find that once you have an out, you can tolerate his crap for a lot longer.

I've had my own "backup plan" for about a year now and it makes it that much easier to know that I can just up and leave if it ever gets to the point where I just can't stand to be here anymore.


hacking is illegal
Don't just leave, have a plan first or it could affect the outcome of your divorce settlement (but if you are being abused then yes leave but still get advice before doing so if it's possible).

You need to get legal advice first, there are free community lawyers, contact some social agencies to find out how to contact one. You can also research it on the internet, there are probably some sites dedicated to how to deal with leaving your partner from a divorce settlement perspective. You need to consider your reason for divorce & get evidence of that, for instance if abuse then you need evidence so someone like your doctor or a women's refuge organisation will need to witness bruises, distress, etc. If you think your husband is having an affair you will have to get proof of that (take his cellphone with messages from the other woman on it, etc but just lead him to beleive he's lost his cellphone, get a friend to follow him meeting the other woman, etc, or do it yourself but you'll need photographic evidence to prove what you've seen).


K D
Rating
I would not make any decision right now. You are in no position to support yourself or your children. You are also probably not thinking the straightest you ever have being 8 months pregnant. Wait until after the baby is born. Give yourself some time to adjust and then discuss it with him. If his child support and alimony can't support you then you need to get a job and a plan before you do anything.


miko
I just dont think it is safe fo you to take advice when dont know your full story. However, if you were a fiend of mine and were not being physicall abused by you husband I would tell you: Wait until your baby is 6 months to a year old before you leave. Before you leave seek out a divorce attorney. Start looking fo a job, start stashing as much money as you can.


jessicatie2000
Rating
there should be organizations in town you can call that will help, is he abusing you? what makes him a loser?. there are women's shelters and most allow kids....... look in the phone book... or if you think he wont bother you at with family than go to one of them... your preg how can they tell you no? I would say it depends on why he is a loser what he does? if he doesn;t physically or mentally/emotional.. and he is just lazy or something.. wait...


themrmike
Rating
if your reasons to leave they whatever the b.s. you have to put with must be worth it. every situation is unique. your road is yours alone. if you call it quits i am sure something will work out if you really work at it. you have to be willing to buckle down to whatever it takes, inorder to make it work. good luck tmm.


goofysixteen
Rating
find a good lawyer and he can help you find the right people to help


Vixen
honey wait til after your pregnancy this is too much stress to deal with right now just leave it atleast until the little one is born then go for it goodluck sweety but it could be your horemones thats wanting you to do it now just relax everything will be fine goodluck and congratulations on the baby sweety! :)


Poopy
I am assuming there is no physical abuse going on because you didn't mention it. If there is, forget everything I am going to say, and just get out. Go on line or look in the phone book for domestic abuse shelters, pack your stuff, and get out.

However, if abuse is NOT an issue, then...

Just tackle one thing at a time: have the baby first, as the child/children should be your number one priority.

Then, absolutely try counseling first. You owe it to your kids to be able to look them in the eye and say, "I tried everything, and it just didn't work out with your dad." Right now, you can only say, "Well, I tried everything, but going to counseling...."

There are many churches who offer counseling for no or low cost, as do mental health agencies operated by your city, county, and/or state. Look in your phone book under the government section (the blue pages in my phone book). Your husband's employer may also offer Employee Assistance Programs that may have a counseling component.

If you have tried everything, and you determine that divorce is the only option, then do it in a way that minimizes the impact on your kids. Make sure they know that it is NOT their fault, that you both still love them, that just because you are not married to their dad anymore, doesn't mean that he will stop being their daddy, and just because you don't love their daddy anymore, doesn't mean that you'll ever stop loving them, etc. Don't kid yourself into thinking it won't be hard on them, because no matter what you say, it will be - but do your best to make it as easy on them as possible.

Then, either save up enough money to get an apartment, or talk to some friends with extra space if you can rent a room in exchange for cooking and cleaning, or something. If you don't have any friends, then start going to neighborhood meetings or church or anything else where you're likely to meet people. Eventually you will meet someone who you "click" with and it will feel right to you to confide in this person and ask for help - and then you will at least have some support while you put your "move out" plan into action.

Hope this helps.


Sue C
If you don't have friends or family, I don't know what else to tell you since you have no choices. I guess you'll have to wait til the baby is born, then go to your local Family Court & tell them of your delima. He w/have to support the children regardless if he wants to or not, & I don't know if in your state he would also be obligated to you too. But when you get back on your feet, absolutely do go to Family Court & they w/guide you as to just what to do. I certainly DO wish you all the best...:)


Devin K
Rating
How about trying to work things out? Maybe go to counseling?


Richard G
Rating
move in with your parents.





 Enter Your Message or Comment


User Name:  
User Email:   
Post a comment:




Legal Discussion Forum



Copyright (c) 2009-2013 Wiki Law 3k Wednesday, September 3, 2014 - Trusted legal information for you.
Archive: Forum  |  Forum  |  Forum  |  Links
0.144