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What do you do when an older man ask you out to lunch and you know he has a wife...?
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What do you do when an older man ask you out to lunch and you know he has a wife...?

I have a new customer at my job that has started to come by my work a couple times a week he is a much older man (atleast in his fifties) and I know he is married and has children probably my age (25) but I thought at first he was just bored and had alot of time on his hands and thats why he always comes by here-turns out I'm wrong, he just called my work and asked me out to lunch and on the spot I said yes even though I am not interested at all I have a family-he seen my boyfriend pick me up for lunch today when he was in my office-now I don't know how the hell to get out of this what's a girl to do????
Additional Details
I don't plan on going I just don't know what to say now??


You're supposed to cheat and feel empowered and destroy everyone connected to your life and your married boyfriend's life. Then you can look behind you at all the bloody carnage and think: "Wow, I'm really a strong woman!"

The more children you hurt, the more crying and misery you're responsible for, the better you'll feel about yourself. Get to it!

sweets and treats
slap him in the face

Just say no if you feel iffy. Don't you want to stick with your boyfriend? He sounds a little creepy and he's a cheater anyways so it's not worth it. Hope everything works out!

yolonda T
I would just let him know that you have had a change of heart,because he is married and you are in a relationship and suggest that maybe you and your boyfriend go out to dinner with him and his wife.So that way nobody feels uncomfortable (except for maybe him if he likes you in an unprofessional manner)You don't need any reason to destroy your family or his because of rumors.

Rocket from the office
whats a girl to do??? "i am not interested at all"

get over the flattery and SAY NO and don't go.

you say "hey, i got to cancel. okay. bye" can you handle that?

if he tries to make a raindate, you say, "my schedule is always pretty hectic, but if i'm free, i'll call ya"

if he STILL doesnt get the point, then say "look, i'm not intersested in eating lunch with you. okay. bye."

I would go on friendly terms, keep it very business, and make sure that you are in a place where there are a lot of people, maybe take a fellow co-worker with you. If you take a co-worker with you, have that person pretend they are "in training". That way he will get the picture that you are not interested but that you still would like for him to be a customer.

I don't get it, forgive me, but if you are not interested, and you are committed happily I assume to someone else, why on earth did you accept?
Don't mean to beat you up, but really it was the first thing that came to my mind. And the answer to your question is:
1. If this man has no bearing on your job (meaning, he is no major client or supplier etc) simply say to him that while you did accept, thinking about it afterwards made you rather uncomfortable accepting anybody's invitation to lunch. That you are in a committed relationship and would not like to send an misguided signals to him or to the man you love most of all.
2. If it is a major client etc.. say that you unfortunately forgot your schedule and forgot that you either a) had to drop by on your lunch break to help out a friend, relative with something, and that this would be tying you up for quite a few lunch breaks (this way you avoid him rescheduling with you) b) had to drop by the dentist to take a peek at something to do with your teeth.

Skinny Dippin'
If you dont want to go you should call him back and say im sorry were not allowed to associate with our customers like that outside of work or something.

If nothing else go with him and talk about your boyfriend and such and make sure he gets the point that there is nothing to this, just a casual lunch.

I had a similar situation once, only it was with someone who would be considered my boss. Im in my mid 20's and hes right around 40ish, married with 2 or 3 kids and his wife comes in the office occasionally so i know her. He would always make comments to me about how i looked nice that day and whatnot and would ask me if i wanted to go to lunch. I didnt know what to say since he was my superior, i felt like i couldnt say no, but i shouldnt say yes. I tell my guy everything so he totally did not like the idea of me going to lunch with him but i went anyway since it was around my birthday and he said he wanted to take me out for my birthday. it ended up being ok, he never came on to me and we just ended up chatting, about his wife and kids and my boyfreind and other people we worked with and such.

Just tell him your sorry but something came up with a family member or boyfriend. Still act the same and when he asks you again just say you have plans. Hopefully he will get the picture. All he wants is to cheat on his wife. What a pig lol.

Go out with him to lunch, and set the record straight. Tell that youre not interested, that you have a boyfriend and remind him about his wife and family. Its also possible that he just wanted to have a casual lunch, but highly unlikely..

Bad Moon Rising
Phone him and ask if his wife would like to join you for lunch and that you look forward to meeting her. Then he will cancel very quickly or his wife will be joining you and you will have a customer for life. Of course you should pay.

Looks like you have a stalker.
Tell the dude that you have a boyfriend and he doesn't want you talking to him, and that as a married man he should not be acting like this. Stand up to him or you will never get rid of his slimy butt.
If all else fails you should tell your boss or the police, and threaten this guy that's exactly what you will do.
Good luck

I don't know how old you are, but when you become a woman, it will get much easier for you to inform these "would-be-cheaters" that you are not interested in having a personal relationship with them. If being polite won't work, simply inform him that you know he's married and would hate to get his wife involved in this matter. Otherwise don't accept lunch invitations with other men when you aren't interested in them. Good luck.

Dads boy
The things people get themselves into for the love of money i swear . Call him back and say your boyfriend will drop you off or joining you . Stop trying to be a player if you don't know what the hell your doing for crying out loud . Though i am happy you had second thoughts . It gives me comfort knowing there is still woman out there with a conscience .

when guys do this to me, i say "how's your wife?"

Hmm, would have probably said NO

dont go? dont be a homewrecking bitc*

You should never have ssaid yes from the start. You made your bed. Sleep in it.

εїз PebblesB2 εїз
You tell him your company doesnt allow customers to date the employees, sorry. I have had to deal with this at numerous jobs, the older guys are always trying to get some young action on the side, it makes me sick.

Tell him that out of flattery, you answered prematurely without really thing about it. I would just kill him with kindness and say that you were flattered by his offer and while you find him attractive you don't think that it would be professional for you to go out with a client. Lie and tell him you could lose your job if word got out and you can't risk that. But thank him for the offer.
This is an uncomfortable situation. Hopefully that will be the end of it but if not and he continues to be persistent, continue to find lies to cover your butt and keep him as a customer.

needs help
Tell him "Sorry. I shouldn't have said yes. I have a boyfriend, I'm assuming you have a wife & children. It would not be responsible for either of to go out to lunch together." Or something along those lines.

Just tell him that his question startle you and didn't give much thought when you said yes and that you have a Family who you really love and that you're not interested in going to lunch with him or anybody (that's so he doesn't get offended about his age) Good luck sweetie.

P1 Rubber Ducky
he has a wife which leads me to believe he is married and to conclude with LEAVE HIM THE HELL ALONE!

Call him up and cancel the date. Tell him something has come up and you will not be able to make it. Then when he tries to set up another date...say NO...

You are 25 and have not figured out yet how to say NO?.....

If it's more than a friendly lunch and you know that he's treating it as a kind of date, you don't go....simple as that....

Cracker Jack
You don't go to lunch with him. And you have a boyfriend, anyway. Unless you're oblivious to the fact, you should already know the answer to this. Just tell him some plans came up. He can't do anything.

Call him and ask if his wife will be joining you!

Tell him that you were too quick in making that decision and after having thought about it you have decided that it would be too improper for either of you to see eachother in that manner.

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