What do you think about getting married at a 'young' age?

David Devoted

I think the answer depends on your goals in life. If the college "party" life doesn't appeal to you and you've never dreamed of going out and seeing the world, you might be OK.

A young marriage can work if both partners have thought long and hard about what they foresee in the near future for their lives. The ones that work tend to be people who are mature for their age, and understand that marriage is a commitment and a lifetime journey of compromise and sacrifice, not just "being in love." So if you think that the two of you have discussed this and are ready to give up dating other people and a lot of the other "college" type activities, then you will probably be OK.

But you must also ask yourself if you are prepared to get married and then have him leave for 12 - 18 months and maybe be a bit different when he gets back. You know that you've heard that when soldiers return it takes awhile for them and their wives to adjust to each other. So, not only are you getting married young, you're going to go through one of the hardest things a young marriage can face withing the first six months.

That being said, I have a cousin who got married young, right out of high school, and they're still going strong after like 20 years. My sister got married at 20 and their marriage is strong too. What they have in common is that neither of them had goals of living the college scene or traveling the world. They don't have regrets of not doing things they wanted to do. Getting married early fit their life goals.

ADD: All the additions were hard to keep up with. After reading them I sense that you have thought this through, and since you will be able to travel with him it's not quite as difficult. I think you'll be fine.

â™¥The Mrs.â™¥

Yes I think its a bad idea. I think it was once very acceptable but as time has changed I think it is becoming more difficult and marriage is being seen less and less as an importance. Military marriages have even a lower chance of making it. Are you sure you are not just marrying because he is leaving? Would you marry if he wasn't in the military?

I always tell young couples...your chances of making it are low but nothing is impossible.

Captain

Age can be just a number. Maturity also matters.

Some things to consider:

When people age, they need to grow WITH each other, not in different direction
Things will only get harder. Your friends will probably change. If you are planning on having kids soon, your whole life, dreams included, are put on hold.
That piece of paper does change people. I have seen it. I guess it is because a person feels like they are "stuck" in a relationship and their true colors can finally shine. Beware of that and look for warning signs.

The difference between your friend and your fiancees parents is that times have changed. It is much easier to get a divorce than work through your problems. Your fiancees parents have a lot more of time and lifelong experiences invested in their relationship. It would be harder to separate. With your friend, it is more common because it is so easy to divorce now and much more well known and accepted than back in the day.

Good luck

emmabugg

you and your bf have to figure that out for yourselves because its your choice. it really depends on the people if your both mature and can support each other financially and emotionally then i suppose your ready...take some pre matrial counseling before you get married just to clear the air and figure everything out.
ultimatly in the end is it up to you.

snowforestblue

Go for it just be prepared to be very independent. Don't get caught up in the negative stigma on marriage stay surrounded with good grounded people who support you. And know that this is forever and stay strong and I comend you on making such an adult desicion being so young. Good luck wish you the best you are making the right decision. Just know there are going to be good and bad days and remember that love you share for each other.

Life is what YOU make it!

Because you said "We have been dating for quite a while"
Tells me you haven't been dating long enough....
For some reason you dont want to say how long you have been dating...

Designer~Wife

I got married 2 weeks after I turned 18 and it was one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made.

At 18, you are not the same person you are going to be in a few years - You are still growing & maturing whether you realize it or not.

The guy I married was a good person, and I have 2 kids that I wouldn't trade for the world - But I learned that at 18, I was not ready to decide that I could make a life forever with him.

If it's right, it will still be right in a few years. Take the time now to be sure, so you don't regret it later.

judy y

When you say 'quite a while' do you mean 9 months or are you talking about 4 or 5 years? Do you like his family? Can you live within your means and handle a budget? Can you live with what the two of you can afford, or do you like living at home with your parents who have 'things' like car, tv, video, daily supplies, washing machine, etc.? What will you do when he is gone? If you can face these issues, then you are ready to be married to this man. Age is only a number. Be committed to being married, give up the need to be right, and you'll make it. The marriage itself is the important concept to keep yourself focused on, and that will be your game plan for a long and normal marriage full of ups and downs!

amari_pi

I was 28 when I got married. I think it's really hard when you are 18 to make a complete assessment of what marriage really is. You stated that you've been dating for quite a while which is nice but not the greatest reason to be married. You and your fiance are going to have different life experiences in the years to come, and you may realized that you guys might grow apart. It's better for you to grow on your own and make your life with someone who's at the same stage as you. Many things that you consider cute now won't be the same in 5 years. As for your fiance's parents, please consider the generational gap as an explanation why they are still married.

Bottom line: Take the time to grow and develop yourself as a person first and allow your fiance to do the same before getting married. Wait a couple of more years and see how your life changes before taking a lifetime commitment.

BH's brother

I think it is dumb. You don't really know who you are or what you want out of life at that age. Even though you think that you do, you will one day realize that you really didn't.

Although there are some exceptions to the rule,(like your parents), the reality is, if you really love someone, waiting a few years to make sure isn't going to change that.

Flipendo

Well I think its fine sometimes, I just dont know because you are at the age to start colledge right. Dont skip colledge!

â™¥Katherine Lovadaâ™¥

I think you REALLY have to feel your ready to get married,especially at a young age when you have hardly experienced life. Whatever floats you boat :)

Gen [<3 my animals]

Many people back in the day did get married at a young age and stayed together. I think it was different back then because even if there were family problems like divorce, maybe people were still raised better. The reason for divorce today probably doesn't have to do with how young you married, but how well you were brought up. If your parents are divorced but your house was still full of love, then it's fine. But if there was always fighting or your mom was always resentful or there was tension, and there was a serious lack of parenting, then that may lead to divorce, but that's my own opinion. I'd say go for it only if you can really picture your life 50 years from now and he's with you but you'd be surprised how much you change. Go to school for a couple years and see if you are still madly in love, then get married.

A Corona of my Owna

it's a good idea to get married early and get your first divorce out of the way.

say it all...

I was 21 and my husband was 25 when we married. We waited until then because I needed to finish school and he wanted to do a stint in the military. We both saw each other when we could and married upon his return...we had dated since I was 14 so what was a few more years? No need to rush it at 18...get some school in so you are sure that you can support yourself and your future goals (with or without a man!). If it's meant to be - it's meant to be and a few years of waiting won't hurt...

smudge

i married my wife she was 19 i was 20 now i am 78 she is 77 but don't let her know i told you. we have had our ups and downs and if anyone who has been married any length of time tells you they haven't to put it mildly they are liars.go as you want to go, do as you want to do,and the best of luck to you both.
smudge.

T&S

what's the harm in waiting? :)

and don't listen to the people that are saying "try moving in together first" bc statistically those couples have the highest divorced rate

justagrandma

The thing about marrying early is that you aren't fully baked yet.
Your ideal aren't set, your likes and dislikes aren't tested, you haven't a broad background against which to judge.
Its sort of jumping in without knowing if you can swim.
I married at 18, I was a settled sort of person, serious, and I'd always wanted to be married and have kids. My husband was older, but he turned out to be the baby of the family until we divorced. Later I realized that if I'd had more experience out in the world, I would have recognized the problems he had and avoided the whole situation. I also thought I was different.
So this is my advice, don't marry now, if its real, it will be just as real when he returns, and you will be able to start your married life off together instead of apart. Being apart will put a strain on your brand new marriage, but keeping in touch being an engaged couple will be more of a romantic adventure.
The statistics are very much against any marriage surviving when you marry at 18, don't tempt it.

Always Learning

hi rebecca,

you know, i won't tell you Not to do it. my man and i did it. we started dating at 18, married at 21. we just celebrated our One year anniversary. we are Very happy. But, as with everyone, there are hard days. a relationship (Any..married or not...) takes work, and communication. if you have the drive, communication and love, it can work out great. good luck, and congratulations girlie! :)

Jesus

I'll give it 6 months.

Srsly, you're gonna get divorced.

Have fun!

Jennifer

My husband is in the military too. If you feel that you are completely ready then do it, statistcs dont mean crap, they cant tell you how you feel. I met my husband when I was 15 and he was 16 he is now 21 and im 20 and we are married and completely happy. I got married at 18 too cuz we both felt it was right, so just follow your heart. I wouldnt recomend having kids yet though, my husband and I are waiting until we are in our late 20's to have a family because It would be way too much stress on your marriage

Pebbles

um ok....nice answers. well you probably wont find this nice but i think its a dumb idea. Wait til youre older. People and feelings change as they get older. dont rely on your boyfriends parents success to be yours as well, thats very rare.

Skitzo

WhenI got married I was 21 and my wife was 18. We're 29 and 27 now, and still together.

My old boss and his wife married at 15, and were still married 62 years later when his wife died.

My mom got married at 35 and divorced a year later, as did my neighbor.

So, it all depends on the couple.

LISTEN TO POSTER SARAH D. IF YOU SKIP SCHOOL YOU MIGHT END UP DUMB AND SPELL COLLEGE WITH A "D" IN IT LIKE SHE DOES!!!!!!!!!!

Leaf

Everyone's different but I would say that generally, yes, it's a bad idea. If you know you want to get married and love each other what's the rush? At least wait until he comes back home from over seas.

Good luck to you!

jlangster

hehehe def. wait. i am 24 on my second marriage,, i got married at 19 the first time.. BAAAD mistake.. live it up first then settle.. trust me theres a whole lotta world out there and you're not even 21 yet ;)

Peacenik

What is the hurry.
You have your whole lives ahead of you.
Choose a marital partner wrong and you can pay for it for many years.

ChrisP.Bacon

Failure rates are higher at younger ages.

A recent government study found that about 59% of marriages for women under age 18 end in divorce or separation within 15 years, compared with 36% of those married at age 20 or older.

Blue Moon

Bad idea

macdude

i think its ok as long as you are completely certain you want to spend the rest of your life with this person. if so who cares what age, if you're in love, go for it!

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