What do you think true love really is?

After a lifetime, I think I am finally figuring it out.

My wife and I are both in our 70s, both in bad health, struggling just to get by financially. Life has definitely not been a fairytale, a "happily ever after" sort of thing. We both are right now dealing with bad colds and not in the best of moods. Last night we were sitting on our sofa, bundled under blankets, not really watching whatever was on the television, when I looked around our cluttered living room with all of its flotsam of these two lives of ours, and felt incredibly depressed.

I told her, "You know, I never expected that this would be our life together; I really wanted to do better, to have more for us. I'm sorry this is how it's turned out to be. I wish I could have given you the best." Her eyes were closed; I looked at her, this wife of mine for over four decades, and could see she wasn't feeling well at all, could see this face that was a beauty when I married it, now aged like parchment and lined from worry, fatigue, and a very hard life.

You should have seen her back then! She was radiant---that's the only word I can think of to describe her. She was so beautiful, I'm amazed that she didn't have suitors crawling in her windows; her dark eyes were like glittering crystals, and that smile! You could see the flowers literally pale when she smiled. She was so full of hope those days, so ready to tackle anything, vigorous, young, excited about the life we were starting as a team, as a couple, "Mr. & Mrs....."

Without opening her eyes, she slowly smiled, and there was a little faint glimmer of what once was, that confident beauty that made me believe in us, made me believe in myself. All she quietly said was, "I chose my life, I chose you. I know I made the right choice", and patted my hand. I sat looking at that gnarled, careworn hand patting my own, and knew that this was love.

This is a woman who signed on "for richer or poorer", and only received *poorer*, who signed on for "in sickness and in health", and received more sickness--her own, and others--than health, who never got the chance to be that person in the romance, that person in the fairytale, that person who "lived happily ever after." This is a woman who struggled with me to make ends meet, who did without because she had a husband cursed with health problems and consequently little money. This is a woman who felt the crushing sorrow of losing a child, seemingly aging two decades overnight, a time when we both were consumed with such wrenching pain that we could find no comfort in one another, a time when we considered going our own ways because to look at each other was only a searing reminder of the enormity of the loss we had experienced. This is a woman who could have had, should have had, a better husband, a husband who could have provided for her the way she deserved.

She stayed, however, and that is why I think I know, at the sunset of life, what love truly is. It isn't an infatuation, a rush of emotion; love is a choice. That is surely what it came down to many times for my wife, and she always chose her life with me. I have not been blessed with many things in life, but I think I have been blessed with true love from a remarkable woman.

Well, thank you for listening to an old man ramble on. What are your thoughts and experiences with love, and what do you think really constitutes true love?
Additional Details
This, by the way, is dedicated to my mother, whose life has known more sorrow than happiness, and for whom I truly wish that fairy tale ending, that happily ever after.

Nosh

wow,, i think thats really sweet and i am goin to remember this forever!!!
with a wonderful wife like that, it seems as if you have evrything!

Good luck with everithing else in life && thank you for sharing this with us..

[: x

Jaime

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Lauren Lamp

Your story sounds like love to me. I'm only in my early teens so I have no idea what true love is yet. But I'm sure I'll find out one day.

shadow

you know.. im really tired, and i hadnt felt like reading all night, but this right here is what changed that tonight.
i kind of wish you had more to say.

well... you may know better than i... but what i think love is, is everything... by that i mean, not only emotion, but learning, and coping, and trying to understand and relate to your opposite even when you know that you cant.. i believe that love is not what you have, its not the possessions that you own or the money you have.. love is a connection between you and another person, most of the time you have to fight for that connection and sometimes its just plain easy to give up, love is to continue moving on when you want to just up and go, love is the trust that you have between the both of you, its about trying your best and giving your all to the person you care for.

i think your wife is right... it wasnt about the money that you had, nor the health that you were in.... it was about you as a whole sir, its about the man that you are, most marriages dont usually work out, because sometimes you just have to learn to love, its not overnight and its just not that easy, its never a fairy-tale... but if we can make it last as you did, it will surely be equally as beautiful.

papergangsta22

That was amazing and so beautiful. I'd say that this is more important than money. I wouldn't care how poor or sick i or they were this would mean so much. I do believe in some way love is a choice. You choice to be with that person or you don't and that what make two people love each other. What you wrote though was so amazing though. You should really keep this. I loved everything you wrote in this.

Aidan

Man, i just want to say this made me tearful just reading this, the way you express you and your wife's relationship really touches my heart, what you have described influences me and inspires me to acknowledge the true meaning of love in a true way. Good on you man, thanks for sharing this!

Take care.

Ð¯á¼‹â‚¥ï»žâ‚¬Æ®

what a perfect tribute for Valentine's day :)

Instant Star Baby

Something seldom found, and often not as treasured as it should be when it is found. Sometimes people overlook, ignore, and reject it in fear of what it could become... when it truly is the best thing that could happen to them.

If I ever find it, I'll let you know.

RAVEN

I wish, i could say the same one day
(((Colson))))

You are incredibly fortunate

The most beautiful thing i could ever read here... please give that to your wife... let her read that !!! I am lurning alot through your words... alot, im at my 40's now... i do not have everything, but i love the man i choose i truly love him... and i wish that one day, at my 70's he will still be near me... holding my hand even if its an hold hand... then that will mean that I too will now know what true love is all about...

Thank you dearly for sharing that ! I wish there would be more people like you here to make us realise how precious the one that we choosed is... no matter how it went...

Wonderful, its simply wonderful and a great lesson of life.

Thank you

â˜® Pangel â˜®

((((Colson)))))

true love is woman like your mother , who soldier on despite the heartache and suffering
soldier on to produce amazing children , like you

no one soldiers on like this simply for themself ... always for others , always for love

Son of a Ren

We have common cause against the night..

Why love the woman who is your wife?
Her nose breathes the air of a world that I know; therefore I love that nose.
Her ears hear the music I might sing half the night through; therefore I love her ears.
Her eyes delight in seasons of the land; and so I love those eyes.
Her tongue knows quince, peach, chokecherry, mint and lime; I love to hear it speaking.
Because her flesh knows heat, cold, affliction, I know fire, snow, and pain..

We love what we know, we love what we are.
Common cause, common cause, common cause of mouth, eye, ear, tongue, hand, nose, flesh, heart, and soul.

- Ray Bradbury, Something Wicked This Way Comes

Pete J

It's a beautiful story except for the sadness you feel for both of you!
It' sounds as though you truly loved your wife, which is lovely these days!!!
Unfortunately you put yourself down by stating that you couldn't provide for her in a better way! She chose to be with you for all this time & she never left you for something better! Accept you provided her with all the best things a woman could ever wish for & that's Complete love & Commitment.
Sadly your both in poor health in your later years, but it's my guess you'll both bounce out of the doom & gloom soon!
Hang in there & keep supporting your wife the way you have always done, co's she's stuck by you through thick & thin & you both have stuck to your wedding vows, caring for one another!
Shows wonderful love & support!

Cheers!!

D Uncle

(((Colson))) ((J)))

BoÉ³É›s, ÉŒÎµÎ±pÏ‹rr ÓƒittÎµÓŠ

I think it's never giving up on them and never abandoning them, sticking it out with them through better or worse. Being willing to spend your last dime on them just to see them smile. That sort of thing.

Wayf

True Loveâ„¢ is seeing the grass as being the most brilliant green in your own yard.

(((((Colson)))))

.

marytoo

when two are as one

The System Is Broken

ok, i have to wonder if you are a professional writer, cause that was damn good? My Dad and Mom are same age and health problems galore and just recently celebrated 56 years together.

sparkles

When you give a single red rose on Valentines Day you still see that same sparkles in her eye the first day you meet her.

i think she is a very lucky woman and very fortunate to have you in her life as her friend and husband, not many women have that and not may make it to forever together anymore, to man y problems and other worthless things they make matter..
she is rich, in other ways.. she found the perfect man to love her from day one to forever..
i'm glad to hear such things that exist.. i hope someday i can look back and tell a remarkable story too to young folks..
in our culture it's said that once you marry your husband you follow in his foot steps, if he is poor you are poor, if he is rich you are rich.. if he has to steal to make a living you have to steal (not literally).. the moral is you support each other in good or bad and that i believe is a good key to a healthy marriage..
you and her are find examples of true love..

god bless you both

hepmom

Oh, I am too damn pregnant to have read that at work. I have to go fix my makeup now.

EDIT: Well, double damn!! Common Sense... I am too pregnant to have read your answer, too!

Edit #2: TD? Really? For being emotional about this story? Huh, good luck with your happily ever after then.

Joshua

Your story has helped me take an even deeper look into my own marrige and I just want to thank you, because your story answered the very question I asked earlier. I know what I have to do for my wife now, and my kids. Thank you so much.

Mrsâ™¥B

Exactly what you put. It means choosing each other no matter what life throws at you :)

ETA to Hepmom: SORRY! I meant to hit the thumbs up button!

boredboris2000

Hi Colson,

It sounds as if the big man upstairs didn't deal you many aces in your life. Despite this, I'm sure many wealthy people would love to have what you found - true, unending love.

In answer to your question, "What do you think true love really is?", I couldn't possibly answer this as eloquently, as honestly, as openly as you answered yourself. I'm not an educated man, I don't express myself in words anywhere near as well as you, but I'll try: -

Love is when you hate being apart from one another.

Love is when she walks in and the whole room lights up for you.

Love is when you leave for work early one morning and you kiss her gently goodbye, even though she's asleep.

Love is when her happiness is more important to you than your own.

Love is when you look at her sometimes and count your lucky stars that she chose to share her life with you.

Thank you for brightening up my day

Boris

That was the most amazing deliverance of love I have ever read... I am copying it to my Word Docs to remind me everyday, what God intentions are when he puts people together for a life time...

Thank you for sharing... :)

~NIKKI~

That gave me goosebumps and made me tear up as well. I am so happy for both of you and you guys are truly an inspiration to people who are married and that true love really exists and all marriages should strive to be as good as yours.

Cab Calloway

Wow. That was amazing. (((C)))

Common sense isn't anymore..

That was beautiful.

My great aunt and uncle were married over 65 years. They were my moms favorites so we went there often when I was little. So, the last time I ever remember going, right before they died... I was sitting with my dad and uncle in the living room. My mom and aunt were in the kitchen making food. My aunt by this time was a chubby little wrinkly woman in her 80's, any way... My uncle and my dad are talking and my aunt comes into view in the door way. My uncle stops talking, and just stares for several seconds, then turns to my dad and says "Isn't she the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?"
Now, my dad is not the most sentimental person, in fact he is kind of a d*ck. But he got teared up at that and said "Yeah Huey, she is."

To me that is love. That was the standard I held when I looked for a life partner. I wanted what they had.

They died within a week of each other. I don't think she knew what to do without him honestly.

Edit: Hepmom, don't feel bad, his answer got me a little teared up too and I am not pregnant. :)

Parkview S

I think she got exactly what she wanted. A man that loved her in good and bad times. Now print out what you wrote and put it on her fridge. It will make her week!!

bornagainbrat

That was Truly beautiful. You are very rich if you ask me.

Akinabby

I'm almost speechless, I reading this right now with tear filled eyes and just sit in amazement at how raw and beautiful it is. What you described is love in it's entirety and I'm so glad you found it. Honestly, you inspire me. I hope one day I can achieve even half of what you have. I'm 19 years old and have been plagued by sadness but you give me hope that life can be better. I always wanted to know what true love is, what it meant, what if feels like and you showed me what it genuinely can be. Thank you. I want to save what you wrote and apply it to my everyday life. Again, I truly thank you for changing my thoughts of love.

I wish you and your wife years of happiness.

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