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What is wrong? My husband stays annoyed with me.?
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What is wrong? My husband stays annoyed with me.?

My husband can be the sweetest person in the world. But lately I can't do anything right. He takes things that I say the wrong way and turns it around. He fusses about everything I do
then if I say anything or try to explain why I did something the way I did he says I do not listen.

I am trying to make him happy but I do not know what to do.
I work 50hrs a week, I cook dinner, I try to get things done at home. I can't always finish. It hurts when he gets mad and says that I am getting like his ex-wife. I am about to go to the doctor for antidepressants, but if do I cannot work my job will not allow it. I just want our relationship to work. I Love Him.
Any suggestions.


    




ouachita
Rating
You can't make him happy. If he does love you, he may not realize that you are hurting. I would suggest a short and cool conversation to let him know. Then give him a couple of days to come around. If he doesn't, a 50 hour per week job should support you elsewhere.


southern_bellechick
Rating
It sounds like to me that your husband needs to anti-depressants not you. He sounds like a total a**. You don't need to try to please him all the time; you need to take care of yourself first sometimes.
Don't take crap off of him.


jmt347@sbcglobal.net
When I was a baby my Dad came home from work demanding dinner, asking why my mom hadn't done it yet, and you know what she did? She threw a can of chicken noodle soup at his head and told him to fix his own dang dinner if he's going to harrass her about it. He never did that again.


melissa C
Rating
I was in your exact spot with my ex husband. Nothing I did or said was right and everything was turned around on me. I would suggest some counseling if he will go along with it. My ex husband would not or I would have tried that route. There were many, many other issues in our relationship that lead to it's demise so please don't be discouraged and think that divorce is the only answer. Sometimes a trained professional can do wonders at getting us all to see things a bit more clearly. I suppose another option would be trying to have a real conversation with him about what is going on and how he is making you feel. He may not realize how hurtful his comments to you are.
If he refuses counseling then you must do what will make you happy. You can't walk around on a tightrope to avoid making him angry for the rest of your life. I know, I tried to do it.
I wish you the best of luck and hope that he will agree to the counseling.


SGElite
It's time to rethink your activities and attitude. You need to remember that marriage needs to be worked upon and not taken granted. Needs do change with times so you need to find out what's bothering him and show your concern. Cooking and all daily chores are just chores. You both need intimate time together.


dmvariety
You do not need pills there is a side effect too. Drugs are not the answer for good marriage. Your husband could be ill or cheating making seem like it is you. He is not happy not making your life miserable. Misery loves company. Do not fall for this. Seek counselor together. Pray about your marriage. See if he will pray with u. Remember how u first meet have u lost that loving feeling or appeal. Your work hard have everything and no love.


brooklynchicabonita
Rating
first off if he has a promblem with everything you do, he must not love you. thats not showing love. and he is maybe cheating on you. so you need to watch out. you cannot trust men. and i understand he is your husband and you love him, but a husband who doesnt want to listen to you and who is putting you through alot of pain, is not a husband. you need to get outta that realationship and get a man that respects you and loves you for you. you should be happy. so i say leave him, he is not worth it. he obviously doesn't deserve you.


ΔΧ
I am single, so I don't know what to tell you about your marriage.

But if you feel like you need to be on anti depressants, then you should take them. For one thing confidentiality laws require that any of your medical information is kept secret. Also if your work fired you for taking medication they could have their pants sued off.

Unless you work for NASA, the CIA, or some place like that you really have nothing to fear from medication.


Pierre L
Rating
Talk to him seriously about it, and make it clear that you love him but he has to love you back in order for you two to be happy.

Good luck!


bombastic
Rating
Ask him to tell you exactly what's eating at him. Maybe you need to work fewer hours and spend more time at home with him. It's possible that he feels that he's not getting enough attention from you. Conversely, maybe he should be doing more instead of picking on you. He doesn't sound very appreciative of all your hard work. His comparing you with his ex-wife is hitting below the belt, and you should tell him so. Do not allow this man to drive you to taking anti-depressants. No man is worth that. Good luck.


mamabear
Rating
Go to counseling. You really need help.


sanchia
Sadly it does not sound good. The description you give suggests that you are working very long hours and at the same time he is not being supportive at home expectig you to keep up the housework and cooking. He appears to be responding in an emotionally abusive manner and is driving you to the point of clinical depression and maybe a breakdown idf this continues.

It sounds like with his abusive behaviour the realationship will fail as your attempts to communicate have been refused and if the lines of communication have been cut there is no way to heal the growing wounds. It sounds like relationship counselling would be beneficial but at the same time if your job will not even allow time for doctors appointments then it would be difficult to find time for that.


markisboss
Rating
Maybe he's having an affair, maybe not. Look for clues though.
Try not being so nice. I know that it used to annoy me sometimes. Maybe he just doesnt know how good he has it and if you were to stop being so nice all the time he would realize how good he really has it!


caydencecrabtree
No offense but it seems like you're trying too hard to keep him happy. If he is a sweet man than he would understand that you may need help around the house, especially working all of those hours! He needs to be more understanding of your feelings and more patient and kind with his words. He seems, from what you've stated, that he's kind of selfish and it almost seems like he's looking for things to go wrong. Some people aren't happy without some type of conflict in their life...he has an ex-wife....maybe he is that way.
I would pay attention to your feelings and take care of yourself emotionally. You can't make him happy, you can only add to his happiness...if he isn't a happy person deep down, there is nothing you can do. Same goes for you. Take care of yourself before him. BUT keep the conversation open and try to stay calm while talking with him about things that are bothering you...maybe even write him a letter about it.
Hope things work out for you :)


Busy Lady 2010
Sounds like there is some financial pressure here, also. He should never compare you to his ex. Is he working also? Don't be bullied by this man. I am sorry you are going through this.
If this was me I would quit cooking, cleaning, and any other favors I do for him. If you have family this would be a little easier. Leave and go to friends or back home. Don't take cursing or being unappreciated. Maybe he has done something he is feeling guilty for, this can cause him to treat you like it's your fault. Maybe you are working too much. Ask him if he is cheating on you. Don't blame yourself for his problem. If his behavior is driving you to take anti-depressants, ..something is wrong with him. I would try to find out what it is.


caviler2
Rating
GOOD GOD!your doing way too much and his a** should be helping you cook that dinner and clean that house and your laundry as well!and thats why his x is divorced him id bet!your not a slave so stop it!


idontlikeyou246
I know i am young but i know all about this because it has gone on before with my older sister... Its just a phase that happens , it lasts for a while and it brings it almost to the breaking point until he finally relaxes or what happed in my case what happened was that she couldn't take it anymore and they had a sit down and showed that no one was the cause of anything (even though its all him) tell him how you feel and keep everything calm toned... no one flips out and just ask whats going on and if you can help in anyway. Tell him that you love him but this just isn't working out and something needs to be changed...
It helped both of my sisters and thier husbands. If all else fails then just wait it out. :( sorry


mipieta
Rating
THAT NOTING WRONG WITH U BUT I THINK YOU 2 NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP.


justpeachy
I hate to say it but it sounds like he is pushing you away on purpose because he feels guilty about something he has done....I would have a serious sit down talk with him and ask him what is wrong.


irish eyes
Rating
It sounds more like your husband is not happy about something to do with himself. Has something changed either between the two of you, or maybe his work? Is it a necessity that you work 50 hours? Sometimes men think the are not doing their job if their wife needs to work...unfortunately no matter what it is men generally need to work it out on their own, if it continues try to speak to him when there is no prominent issue and let him know how he is making you feel, and if you need to see about counseling with or without him, the counselor may give you some options to help with stress so you won't have to choose between that and your job. Good luck!


Steve H
Rating
Well, that sounds like the same way my ex g/f was acting before we broke up. She was interested in a drunk-pothead... I can only see one thing you can do. Have him sit down with you and have a serious talk about your relationship. At this point its best to not have any feeling unsaid. If one or both of you have a problem with the other its best to say it and resolve it. Guilt and/or suspicion can always make someone feel uncomfortable or unwelcome around someone else.
I really hope that everything works out for ya, i know what its like to have my heart torn out of my chest. Its not the most pleasant feeling in the world.


siaosi
Rating
sweetie,he won't tell you,but get him some viagra.


greeneyedvixen
Rating
Ask him what is wrong. Sometimes men do something wrong and their way of getting their anger out because of something they did is to blame someone else for something. They always seem to expect their wives to be perfect when they themselves are far from it. Just talk to him and tell him that you love him.


Tiffany
Unfortuneately, this sound (if described correctly) that he is the one with issues. My guess, is that he feels inadequate and by being difficult he can transfer the blame on you for the relationship being "wrong".

I would go to my Doctor and talk about it, see if he can refer you to counseling vs. antidepresants. You may discover that you are pulling your weight and learn how to deal with his poor attitudes toward you.


Ivan S
Rating
My guess is either counciling or divorce. Just to let you know was in the same scenerio a few years ago.


john t
Dear it is hard try and sit down and talk to him if not try counseling is the only other choice good luck


Gem
Rating
Oh Sweetie, I am so sorry.

My bet is he is just a guy who can't stay with one woman. There are a lot of them ( I was married to two and thought I could spot them!).

He is attempting to make you the villian so he can leave you and not feel guilty. Guy thing.

Or he is already seeing someone on the side. Were you the other woman at one point? Or did you start dating him during or right after his divorce? If yes, then odds are strong he is a serial monogamous, break up, cheat. Just like my second.

Suggest marriage counseling and if he won't, get a detective and a divorce attorney.

Good luck, and again, I'm sorry.


Thrill K
ouch...saying that you are getting to be like his ex-wife was way harsh.

Apparently he has an idea of what his model of a wife should be and your not filling those expectations. I would just ask him point blank what he expects his wife to be. Marriage is about give and take for both sides, but if one is doing more taking than giving then problems will arise.

I can understand you want to make him happy, but you are only one person and you have your limits of what you can realistically accomplish.

I hope you can find a positive solution for your dilemma without having to resort to medication or any other type of drastic action.





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