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Who should a husband put first in life his wife or mother?
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Who should a husband put first in life his wife or mother?

My cousin sorry to say is a mommas boy. My aunt takes advantage financially and emotionally. I feel sorry for his wife. She calls me and I tell her to put her foot down and have a damn backbone. I tell him he is wrong because he vowed to love his wife and put her first. She is so nice and loving. He loves her but if my aunt calls for any reason he breaks his neck. How do you pay your mom's rent before your mortgage even if you do make good money? He tells his wife that his mom has always been there and it is up to him to take care of her. But damn she is my aunt and I am like you ask for too much too often. You are selfish and she tells me she does not see it. She needs and he provides. Pisses me off. What do y'all think.


    




dragon394
i'd say mom cuz she's the one who gave him life and cared for him. wives appear in the husband's life like 20 years later


Annie
Rating
Sorry, read it all and all I know is you need to mind your own business and stay out of it. Your constant meddling is only hurting them both.


ericmassey1983@sbcglobal.net
would you help your mom?? nuff said


mexhombre00
Rating
Your mother, if the marriage goes bad, guess what, your mother is still your mother, your wife now becomes just a person. Also one of the ten commandments tells you to honor your father and your mother, never mentions anything about your wife or spouse.


I am Sofa King Tonight
Rating
I'm confused. Is your cousin also your husband? If not, why is any of this your business?


JACK the nice man
Rating
Dear Jane

I find no problem when a man takes care of his mother and gives her priority more than his wife and children as his mother has a great favor on him and she is the reason of his existence and has a great right on him after God..

the good wife should respect that and does her best to please her husband and be a good link between him and his mother and treat his mother like her mother not as an enemy or a parnter in her man ..

If he collects good money and helps his mother and fulfill his house needs what is the problem ?!

I respect this man and see him grateful for his parents ..

I also see that a man should make a balance and depends on himself and does his responsibilties before asking for his rights especailly with close relatives like parents - sisiters - brothers - wife - children ..

I hate momma's boy who is not a man and can not take any decision in his life even going for the toliet without taking permission or asking his mom .. it is a kid not even a boy or a man !!! I do not think you mean that case .. I feel you are upset from giving priority for his mother before his wife ..

just remember that mother lives her life to take care of her son and she puts her life for his son but her son's wife is another part of his life that came late after son becomes 20 years old or more ..

the realtion between a man and a mother is permenant and can be broken but the realtion with wife may be broken by divorce if a big probelms happaned beteen them so mother is more important in all case ..

remember that when a man takes care of his mother who may live few years with him is good as she will die and is pleased from him and afterwards he can please his wife who will stay with him for a long period until one of them dies ..

I hope this helps you :-)


Mike
i would say mom cuz if mom wasnt there then son wouldnt be there either


CEEES
Rating
Without a doubt, your wife. Your wedding vows tell you that!


Leidy C
him and his mom needs to learn that after u grow up and u get married u have a family after u grow up is time to make ur family his mom needs to leave him and get a husband because he needs to have his babies his wife is his new family now thats wat i tell my mom bcuz shes saying that shes gonna b with me after i get marry and that i have to take care of her i tell her that life is not like that u have ur kids them they grow they get marry they make their new family and the family when they were kids its not gonna b the same cuz ur sis ur bro they not gonna b there and ur not a kid anymore to play with them so i think he should learn that his wife is hes new family and just to visit his mom and show her that he loves her shes always gonna b there till she dies and i dont think hes gonna waste his life waiting till she dies to make his family thats gonna b 2 late. he needs to learn to b away from his mom cuz shes gonna die and hes gonna stay in this world so he needs to learn how to not miss her so much


Andel
Rating
my cousin is a momma's boy too. guess what will change him? nothing.

stop taking the complaining calls from his wife. she knew what she was marrying. tell her to either accept it cuz it's never going to change and try to learn to be happy or leave. that's it.

it's ok to hang out with the wife and talk to her about other things, but tell her all this complaining about a situation that will never change is not doing you nor her any good. you guys are just too stressed out over a situation you guys can never change.


5a+a|-|
Rating
Confront HIM.
Hes the problem, and if his wife won't do it, then SOMEONE has to get some back bone!
I totally agree with you. Your aunt is an older family member. She should be respected. Your cousin however, is an equal.
Tell him how his wife feels. Tell him his wife loves him and cares for him, and he should throw her on the floor if his mother needs something. And if his mother is having troubled finacally, he can help, but she can't take advantage of her sons life.
Your cousins the issue, your aunt is causing that, and if his wife wont do anything, then you go to HIM!!!

Aren't familys a joy sometimes??:P


Jamal
Rating
I think that your cousin's wife made a mistake in marrying him. His mother has no business expecting her son to pay her rent every month and run to him every time that there is a problem. I love my mother but she respects my limits. I have a good woman in my life who I might be marrying next summer. And my mother knows how important she is to me as well as how she is expected to treat my fiance with the utmost respect and vise versa before and after marriage. Your cousin will keep his s@#$ up and end up loosing his wife for good.


Mary B
Rating
In the bible it says Cleave on to your wife.

I understand pressures to take care of your parents. My mother-in-law is disabled and unable to do certain things herself. We moved out of our home and in with her to help take care of her bills, home and other things. we were there for 6 months and it was a struggle. It finally got to the point where I turned to my husband and told him I was packing and moving back to our condo we'd been paying for this hole time and having friends stay at. He moved back with me. My mother in law is minipulative, demanding and at times very stressful. Some of it has to do with her illness, while other parts of it are just her personality.

By my husband choosing to stick with me and let go of some of the responsibility of his mother, we were able to make our marriage work. Our bond is stronger today than it ever was before. We still help his mother out. We manage her bills, visit, take her to appointments, bring food and other things, just not 24/7. We also dont let it all get out of hand. If little things start to get in the way of us and our time we tell her no, and she'll have to find someone else to help this time.

I hope this helps out a little. Best of luck to you, your cousin and his wife! I've been in those shoes and believe me, there is no comfort inserts that'll fix that!


ashlw
In asian culture men have to take care of parents. But today that's no longer.

in fact, once a man is 18 years old , he surpassed mon's authority so it's up to him.


Debbie .
Rating
Wife first if you want to stay married


Ocimom
Rating
The Bible says that a man should leave his mother and father and be with his wife. So a husband should be putting his WIFE first above his mother.

When the order is messed up you have tons of problems!


Mandy
WIFE


Stan
definitely his wife.


Phonaesthetic
He should put his wife first if it is her he wants to spend the rest of his life with... I think you should talk to your aunt if you are close, she is ruining her son´s life in the long run.


gg55
Wife comes first. A mother's purpose is to raise her child, in this case her son. To teach him, nurture him and show him how to be a good man. At some point that child leaves the nest and begins to build a family of his own. Mother has competed her duty and should let him go so that he will spread his wings, and she will be proud of the boy she raised. The cycle continues.


Katie W
Rating
His wife. I just learned this in a religion class about families and when you get married, you are pretty much putting aside your old family and starting your new one with your wife.


Kayla K
I think he should put his wife first! He did vow to love her. It's kind of like his mother is more of his past and his wife is his present and future.


Gwin
Wife


sweetrapture
WIFE


CindyLu
He should put his wife first but it is highly unlikely that he will ever do that. Mamma's boy(s) should stay with mamma and not inflict some poor woman with their warped immaturity. Mamma is never gonna let go she thinks she is in competition with the wife but really there is no contest, mamma is gonna win ever time.

You should tell your friend to send him back to mamma and go find a real man not an overgrown over aged boy.


loving my life<3
Rating
wife comes first... from the day you're married on.. its Wife.. Kids.. Then Mother/father/family..


Quixotic
Rating
Wife.


Mrs. Ross 8.2.09
Rating
WIFE ALWAYS!!!!! no question a man is to leave his family behind and become head of his own household, mothers need to let go of their son's and let them be men...you're absolutely right!


CWs Wifey
Rating
his wife, the time for his mother to rule his brain is over when he gets married.


Rousseau
Rating
A son is a son
Til he takes him a wife.
Your Mother's YOUR Mother
For all of your life.


stever
Just to give a christian perspective on things the bible says a man and woman become one and leave their mother and fathers.. Yes you should Honor your mother and father but I don't think that means you should let them take Advantage of your own family that you have begun. He needs to grow some BALLS and tell mommy enough is enough, His family and especially his wife should come first.





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