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Why is my husband so mean and nasty when I'm sick?
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Why is my husband so mean and nasty when I'm sick?

I have the flu, my temp is 103, my glands are swollen and I can barely function and I'm so dizzy.
He has no compassion. He said "Well if you're so sick, go to the hospital, otherwise deal with it."
I asked him to get our son to sleep last night and he said "No, I don't want to be in here: you'll get me sick.."
He shoved me in the back to wake me up this morning and yelled at me to go to work.
He is not normally like this, but when I am ill (which is not often) he is extremely intolerant and yells at me about everything. I try to play down my symptoms as much as I can but I can't hide everything!

If he is sick, I am the exact opposite: I baby him and do everything to make him comfortable.

I don't understand this Jekyll and Hyde..He is not the nicest person on the earth, but this is the worst I've seen him yet.


I try very hard to keep my wife from getting sick!!!! Otherwise I won't be able to get any in bed. And that will make me suffer alot. I need for my wife to up and running all the time, so that I can stay happy with her, when she is fully happy and content with me.

It sounds to me..like you are starved for his attention..starved for his affection..he is to blind to see it...so maybe he should be the one to seek medical treatment..because even Ray Charles can see..what is going on here?

tough cookie
well sounds like a great relationship

The Cat: Just got a PUPPY!
OMG! Just yell at him that you are sick and need the rest and need him to get off his high horse and help you out. And then the next time he is sick, totally ignore him. Tell him that he has no compassion when you are sick, so you're going to treat him the same way! Tell him to stay off the booz! Sounds like it's all about him. I'm sorry! My husband is a total baby when he's sick, but he does have compassion when I am sick. For instance, I have endometriosis and had my symptoms really bad the other day. I told him on his way home from work that I also had a severe headache, didn't take out anything for dinner and he could pick something up on his way home cuz I didn't feel like cooking. He said he'd come home and we could decided then. So what do I get for dinner? A bag of microwave popcorn and a rootbeer popsicle. If I had known that, I'd have found SOMETHING for dinner better than that! When I had my surgery, I was going to fix dinner and he'd let me! I think it was the drugs talking...Luckily, my little mormon neighbor friends brought me dinner.

Guys are big babies~
They want us to wait on them hand and foot and when we are sick they don't get waited hand and foot on~
Then they get upset and act childish.
I know because during my morning sickness my husband was that way;)
Tell him if he wants some from you he better treat you sweetly and if he doesn't, you treat yourself and ignore his "needs" for awhile~LOL
I hope you feel better sweetie!;)
I wish you luck!

fear... it makes men mean.

Momma of Esa 05/03/10
i feel so badd for u..

sorry if i`m rude..but does he loves u..? coz i dnt think anyone who loves sumbody will do this thng..

i seriously think tht u shud avoid him to the fullest..dont talk to himm..try not talking to himm..but i feel u shud complete ur responsibility..i mean ur sons work nd at the same time ur husbands...etc...

but dont talk to him nd make it very clr with ur attitude tht u cant stand his insensitivity towards u....nd try to give him back wht u r getting!!!!!!!!!!

all the best..i hope everything gets well b/w ya both..

take care of urself

cause men are from mars women are from venus. no, just kidding and i hate the guy who wrote that stupid book. he probably feels inadequate and incapable of dealing with everything that he is used to you doing. it means he has to chip in and do more. although it doesn't sound like he is. damn it, wives aren't supposed to get sick!! *hugs for you* wish i could help you out, you stay in bed and get better!

I have no idea. But I remember the same thing with my father and mother. He was so mean to her when she had gastritis. Used to tell her to either go to the hospital or to stop complaining.

My husband was the exact same way. What I did was get his toothbrush and cover it with my sick germed saliva and when he fell asleep I got real close to him and breathed into his face. When he got sick I treated him the same way he treated me so he knew how it felt. This is no joke I really did do this and he got sick right after me and I treated him as poorly as he treated me and asked him how does it feel? It really did work! The next time I was sick he was much more understanding.

Blond Chocolate
so this why we havent seen you for a couple days.
i'm sorry to hear he is being a d.i.c.k. head when you need him most. does he drink or something? they can have duel personalitites. most men dont know how to caretake a woman but some try. i dont think those ones do it on purpose, but they lack sensitivity. i think they also wonder "shoot! who is going to cook dinner?"
maybe next time he is sick be cool towards him.
if i lived near you, i'd come help you. i really would.
take care and keep popping vitamin C

He probably thinks he can toughen you up like some guy pal!! Or, he just doesn't want the responsiblity of taking care of his family and blames you. Like my husband does!!!!

Mine was like that too. He would not take me wo the doctor when I had a high temp, so I drove myself and left the kids with him. I had pneumonia. Funny how he had time to take his girlfriend lunch when she had a cold though.

OMG ... it's exactly the same way for me. It's inexplicable ... my husband has so many health problems he can barely take care of himself. I take care of him, always. But I'm not allowed to get sick, or too tired, or even bummed out without being treated like garbage. Or ignored, at best. These days I count my blessings when ignored is all I get.

Well ... I understand and feel for you :o) You need to ignore him. Lay down on the couch with a pillow and fuzzy blanket and keep drinking liquids. And get better soon!

Next time he is ill, leave him with the babe and a sink full of dishes and go get your nails done. He'll get it.

Wonder Cat: Nut Lover
Because: When you are sick, there is no one to cook and clean for him, no one to love him, no one to get naked with him, and no one to pick up his dirty laundry off the the floor.
Therefore, he becomes mean and resentful that he is expected to wipe his own behind, and that he has to pick up after himself, and it is all your fault for being sick.
So tell him to either buck up and be a man, and start helping you out around the house, or else you are going to call 1-800-FIND-ME-A-MORE- COMPASSIONATE-HUSBAND, to replace him.

<------- marriage counselor and orthodontist

♪ Pamela ♫
Tell him to leave you alone if he can't be nice when you are ill. That's what I do.

: ( Feel better soon.

The same
My husband is so bad that when I was in the hospital with intestinal strangulation with gangrene he made a joke about me dying in front of our daughter. She was 4 at the time. She flipped out on him and security had to remove them from the waiting room. How do I know? When I woke up my GF told me. I just asked her to please go get my child and did not allow him in the room. He continues to behave this way years later, divorce lawyer on Thursday. I am done. To my knowledge they do not change even with counseling. Life is too short to spend with someone that is an ass.

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