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Why would a man throw away a good relationship with a classy woman for trashy one?
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Why would a man throw away a good relationship with a classy woman for trashy one?

I have a close friend I have known since college, and have always been in awe of her. She is very beautiful, but also bright, and incredibly capable. She had been with her boyfriend for a few years, and they'd been engaged for about a year. I had always been amazed at how she could do everything : work a high powered, stressful job full time, go home to cook a three course meal for a dinner party with friends, house always immaculate, she is always immaculate and looking gorgeous. Not only that but very giving and thoughtful to others.

Well, she recently found out that her boyfriend was cheating on her, with an unemployed single mother living on benefits. When I asked the boyfriend why he'd thrown away things with my friend, he replied that he ''needs to feel needed''
I have seen this happen with other friend couples too. So my question is, do men, deep down, actually prefer women to be the needy bimbo type?

BTW, I have met his trasy new woman, and she was the typical chavvy, bleach blonde tarty type. I don't think it's down to a bad start in life, from what I can gather she got pregnant from a fling, has never really had a job, and lives off benefits, gets a lot of financial help from her parents and buys her make-up etc with her kids child support. Seeing my friends ex with her was actually quite funny, he seemed quite embarrassed and apologised profusely on her behalf when she said something inappropriate. That is why I was so puzzled that he'd left my friend for her.


2010-10-31 01:18:10 +0000
Because he lets his hormones do his thinking for him.

2010-10-31 01:29:44 +0000
"Needs to feel needed" translated to marriage-counseling parlance is "Needs to feel respected and admired."
She's doesn't need him and treats him accordingly. (Like an accessory to make herself happy.)
So he left.

The reason she treated him so poorly is because women have a deep seated emotive drive to be taken care of. It really hits home once she has children.
If she /feels/ like she is the provider she will resent the living **** out of him.

2010-10-31 01:18:50 +0000
There's a difference between a woman who makes a man feel needed and a "needy bimbo type". A difference that you're obviously incapable of seeing.

Not to excuse his cheating because it was wrong and it's inexcusable...he should've just broken up with her. But i can see why he didn't feel needed. According to you, she was "perfect". She had everything...she did everything on her own. I'm sure her boyfriend felt useless and i'm sure he was craving someone who made him feel like he was worth something...like he could do something for her -- and by this, i don't mean physically; i mean in anything. It sounds like she's 125% independent in every aspect of her life and yes, that can be a turn off to some guys as crazy as it sounds..

Like i said, his cheating is INEXCUSABLE. But at the same time, i'm sure he was feeling a little insecure about himself due to him not feeling like his ex needed him in any way.

2010-10-31 01:17:42 +0000
Yes I have seen this happen too. It's like that country music song, I like my women just a little on the trashy side. I think it has something to do with their own self esteem, that they don't think they are worthy of a good woman to tell you the truth. The same with women that pick the wrong men, men can also pick the wrong woman.

2010-10-31 02:04:46 +0000
trashy is much more fun than classy. classy women are usually boring in and out of bed. its not pretty but true

2010-10-31 01:23:08 +0000
Go ask Brad Pitt!

2010-10-31 01:35:08 +0000
Typical man-child.
Not ALL men like the trashy bimbo types. Some men are grown up and they like grown women.
Men do need to feel in control and needed, but not needed too much. Tricky buggers.
Like, don't even ask them to mow your lawn unless he needs to show you the error of your ways and how you should cut it diagonally instead of back & forth.
He'd like to advise his woman about how to spend her money or what vitamin she should take even though we've been making and spending our own money, taking the right vitamins and cutting the grass diagonally every 3rd cut for the last 10 years.
Don't get it twisted either - SOME men like us to be independent enough that we don't need them all the time but we should know not to need them when they don't want to be needed, and we need to know when we should make them think we need them and why.
Then we have to be specific but not nagging. Don't make a list of things but write it down just in case but don't remind him or you're a nag and if you get upset with all these rules then you're a b*tch who doesn't need a man so he'll go get a lazy bimbo who appreciates him and makes him feel oh so special and smart and manly.
Got that?
He brought nothing to the table but a fork.
He did her a favor.

2010-10-31 01:41:52 +0000
I doubt he loves the new woman he's with.

he probably still wants to be with your friend but like he said, needs to be needed. from what i gather, your friend seems like a strong independent woman.

to him, she doesn't need a man, he probably feels jealous too... (like she's "too good" for him)

guys like to feel needed, he probably felt like a shadow

that can easily be fixed

i don't think guys deep down look for the needy bimbo type, they just like to feel needed and some be stupid and go for the easy ones

there also could of been a lot of different problems in there relationship they kept to themselves, another reason for that to happen. a lot of women don't realize this and thinks guys cheat for nothing, there's usually a good reason for it.

2010-10-31 01:16:40 +0000
men are dumb as a box of rocks
they only think of the here and now.
Their brains don't comprehend the future.
their just DUMB.

2010-10-31 01:15:28 +0000
he was horny and didn't know how to appreciate a great woman

2010-10-31 01:32:26 +0000
the guy tells you and it goes right over your head.
to keep MOST (not all, some dont care) men loyal is very simple, unlike women.
make them feel wanted, needed, and desired and they will not stray.
they climb the highest mountain, walk in blizzards, go across the desert simply becuz you ask.
take one of these three things away and that new trashy, chawy, bleach blond pregnant, tarty type is very appealing

2010-10-31 01:31:07 +0000
A lot of these answers are funny to me because I am a guy, and some of it is true. I personally have a good relationship with my daughters mother and I just want to be their for them. But, some guys are not "ready" to be committed. My uncle was married for 24 years and left his wife for some broad that was barely legal. Women mature faster and they are usually born with a nurturing quality. Most men are just afraid to miss out on something, (whatever it may be) so I guess it's really the females responsibility to find someone she can trust and shows her he has her back. And "please" don't rush into it.

2010-10-31 01:29:18 +0000
Well, you can't stereotype men any easier than men can stereotype women. Some men would appreciate your friend and not feel threatened by her "perfectness", while others start feeling like the trophy husband. Happiness is where you find it and evidently he was not able to find it with your friend. I am glad to hear that he didn't just look at her as a meal ticket and decide to live the easy life while she was doing her Wonder Woman routine, at least give him credit for that.

2010-10-31 01:16:17 +0000
Men only have 10% functionality. They're beyond retarded.

2010-10-31 01:31:13 +0000
because he is a fool, hope she leaves him for a basketball player

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