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do you think its okay to go through your husband/wife cell phone? have you ever did it and did you find?
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do you think its okay to go through your husband/wife cell phone? have you ever did it and did you find?

anything that made you upset?


2010-03-12 18:27:14 +0000
I found out that he texted another woman - a coworker - and told her she has a nice a@@.
I was not happy.

2010-03-12 18:26:48 +0000
Heck yes...and do not forget their computers while at it...

Any woman or man who never snoops is burying their head in the sand... say you look and do not find something - great - what did it hurt. you know you have a keeper... and your insecurities will wain... but say you do not look and never know your partner cheated until you come down with an STD... which would you rather be?

I found out my ex hubby was gay and that an ex bf cheated - numerous times.. the ex bf did not even use condoms!! Sorry, my life is valuable - I will not be in a relationship without full access..and my soon to be husband knows this and does not mind.. in fact, he snoops too and it does not bother me the least.. its cute.. albeit he is more discrete than me and he thinks I do not know.. I am honored he wants to make sure I am on the up and up actually. I have nothing to hide and neither one of us are tyrants about it..

The conflict with checking comes from those who are hiding something... or want to hide something eventually. They do not trust themselves to walk the line, so they do not want to have to deal with someone who pays attention.

2010-03-12 18:23:36 +0000
every day
i monitor all his emails, text messages, voicemails, bank account online, credit card
all of it!

i am even using his email now!

2010-03-12 19:06:41 +0000
I feel violated when he looks through my phone. I wouldn't mind if he looked if I knew he was looking out of curiosity and that was it. However, I become offended because I know he's looking in my phone out of insecurity hoping to find something that he can accuse me of. He has actually looked through my phone before and accused me of cheating simply because of a picture a friend sent me of their new hair cut (they had lots of hair before). This same friend till this day keeps in contact with me and recently sent pictures of his newborn baby to my phone. I have very few male friends that I talk to once in a blue moon and these are people I knew way before my husband. We're just friends.

I've never cheated or given him reason to even think I was cheating. So it's offensive when he looks through my phone only because I know he's looking for dirt, and he will try to make something out of nothing like a crazy person.

I tend to not look through others phones, but once in while I will look through my husband's phone because I actually did catch him on more than one occasion talking to other women on the phone, literally flirting with them. Before this I never even thought about looking through his phone because I trusted him. He broke that trust. Well for precaution, I will always once in a while look through his phone. Some would probably say I should leave him. But I don't feel the need to leave him for this, I just give him warning and give him time to prove that he doesn't need to seek attention from other women.

2010-03-12 18:29:16 +0000
I only do it if I need a phone #, not to snoop. He has a busy law practice and if I were a jealous type I would be screaming everytime a woman's name was on it. Seriously we share our phones many times and answer for each other so there aren't issues like that between us.

2010-03-12 18:46:46 +0000
Personally I would never do that to a spouse or partner just because I see it as a violation of trust. Would you want your spouse or partner going through your cell phone/emails/personal mail? I think you can be open and honest in your relationship without telling your partner about every email, every phone call ... if he or she does step over the line and they are open and honest about it, that's not a bad thing. It's when they overstep and keep it from you ...

However this is just an opinion and no one answer is going to fit every person. You have to sit down with your spouse and figure out what works for you both.

2010-03-12 18:47:35 +0000
I think you should be able to trust your wife/husband. If you have a suspicion or feel like something is being hidden, then i think you should let each other know. I have been in that position before, i let it go for too long. He was constantly checking mine, he always had a lock on his. I never hid anything that is why it didn't bother me. He left his phone in the car one day when i was going to pick up our daughter from school. I ran in the house to tell him if he needed the phone and he said just leave it there. I left to pick up our daughter and the cell phone went off. I ignored it and it continued for about 4 times. I looked at the phone and it had a text message and 3 missed calls. I put it down and drove off. It went off again and this time something in me told me that something wasn't right. I looked at the phone and it was the same number. I checked the message and it said " did i make you feel good baby, my p---y is hurting for you." I felt the blood rush to my head and drove to my friends house, she called the number back from his phone, the girl thought it was my husband. My friend told her off and gave me the phone, i told her off and called her a home wrecker and within minutes, my husband called me cussing. He told me to bring his phone back and the car and get out of his house. My friend broke the phone and i went home and we got into a huge fight. He told me i was crazy and stupid and to move out now. He started hitting me and left in the car and came back pissed because he couldn't find the phone. I told him it was in a dumpster, he forced me in the car, leaving our 3 kids home alone. He tried to force me into the dumpster. He snagged my phone and took the sim card out and we continued the physical fight at home. He beat me up in front of the kids and i called the cops, we split up on that day. We were married for 18 years. The girl went to my work and played a message from me telling her off and admitted the affair and tried to get me fired. I divorced him and moved on with my life. My ex still wants me back after 4 years. I believe that if you hid something from the one you love then your really don't love them. Go with your gut feeling and trust your instincts.

2010-03-12 18:46:31 +0000
Yes, I have and found out about a woman from work he'd be hanging out with for early happy hours after work.
I only think it's okay if you suspect something. My hubby had my total and complete trust until 2 years ago when I found it unusual that he was spending so much time on his phone and he had recently added a password to lock his phone. Then the kids mentioned something about him always on the phone texting, so I went online to see what number he'd been calling. I confronted him about it, but he'd already erased the texts, but he told me that there were some not nice things he said about me to the other woman. I had my doubt that he was telling the whole truth so I broke into his email and changed the password. I what I found devastated me. My husband wasn't sleeping with this woman, but another for the previous 3 years when he made regular trips back to our hometown. They corresponded the rest of the time via email and he said some pretty graphic things.
So, bottom line, if you suspect something then yes. You are married and need to hold each other to the highest standard of honesty, but realize that if you do this without reasonable suspiscion then you may cause him to wonder if you are trying to hide something. BE CAREFUL

2010-03-12 18:21:58 +0000
never done it and don't think its ok

2010-03-12 18:41:41 +0000
I dont touch his phone but he answers and goes through mine. I could care less

2010-03-13 04:03:42 +0000
Did. Found a couple calls form old boy "friend". Not that big a deal. Figured if there was anything exciting, she'd tell me pdq. Makes for great pillowtalk.

2010-03-12 18:24:54 +0000
My wife goes through my phone all the time and I don't mind. I have nothing to hide. She helps put meetings and appoinments I have into my phone. If during that time she goes through my messages or numbers, I have no problem.
It is the guilty who take things to heart.

2010-03-12 19:33:28 +0000
of course its ok. anyone who says its not, its because theyre hiding stuff from their husband or wife. there shouldnt be secrets.

2010-03-12 18:28:10 +0000
I look through my husbands phone and he looks through mine. Not to check up, just for numbers and stuff. We do not have private email, we use the same email address. i do not have a facebook, but he does and he has no problem with me knowing the passwords or being on it. If you have nothing to hide, you wont care.

2010-03-12 19:03:38 +0000
Not ok. Never did it, never will.

I respect his privacy and he respects mine.

2010-03-12 18:25:23 +0000
I read all the text her boyfriend sends her.

2010-03-12 18:21:49 +0000
not OK

2010-03-12 18:23:43 +0000
i think its okay! your married! and made vows.. so if there is nothing to hide it shouldnt matter.. those people saying no its not okay they are hiding something from their spouse and its NOT OKAY TO HIDE

2010-03-12 18:25:07 +0000
She order too many pizzas.

2010-03-12 19:00:59 +0000
I don't think it's okay because he doesn't go through mine, just like we don't check eachother's mail or email.

2010-03-12 18:23:58 +0000
Definitely NOT OK! I would never do that to my husband. You just come off a an insecure little B*tch!

2010-03-12 18:59:14 +0000
I am a fanatic at keeping phone numbers of everything and everybody, my wife will routinely use my cell phone to find numbers,as she is equally fanatic at not keeping them limited to only her friends. Frankly I got nothing to hide, I think she does go thru it sometimes as she is fascinated by the coded language my company uses and tries to figure it out. I used her cell to find husband of her friend but I always ask first she has never said no. While she seldom asks I do because of habit. This is not a battle I want or need to fight.

2010-03-12 18:26:33 +0000
Rule of thumb looking for trouble one will find it. Trust factor, ask yourself why do I feel the need to snoop. Are you looking for evidence to nail a cheating husband. If not, don't do it.

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