Home     Links     Contact Us     Bookmark  
   Homepage      News      Legal Forum      Dictionary  
Home : Legal Forum : Marriage & Divorce

how can I make it on my own after a divorce?
Find answers to your legal question.

how can I make it on my own after a divorce?

If anyone read my "should I stay or should I go" questions you know what is going on. ...if not please still give me advice.

My husband is awful..he drinks, he leaves me alone at his parents house in the middle of the night and goes off to god knows where and doesn't answer is phone. I am hurt and in so much pain it makes me sick to my stomach. Just when I think things are getting better he makes them worse. I am poor...I need to get thru school I have a dog that I love to death, she is like my child and I need to make it on my own without him. I am only 20. Are there any programs or anything that helps women get out of bad relationships? Any support groups? Anything to help me in my desperate time of need. I need to get out....FAST. I can't do this anymore...He is killing me with loading me with stress he is never there for me. please help. please...I am so scared I don't know what to do.


Your situation is not easy but farm from impossible to resolve. Just from the looks of your picture avatar, you look like you could get a job and start becoming more independent to the point of being able to move to your own little place. Dump this loser. You need to have confidence in yourself by just looking in the mirror and asking yourself how women your age with a lot less going for them can make it! You're young, you look very fit, and I'm sure you have enough schooling to at least get a honest work to support yourself and you little dog. There are many shelters for abused women that you can go to until you have something stable. If you need to talk about this more just drop me a line at: reyvaladez94@yahoo.com and I'd be glad to give you some advice.

Tricia A
Find someone in Legal Aid to help you with the divorce for a lower price, take him for half, and move on. Get a job and an education and find someone who loves you and respects you and who you don't have to depend on because you are happy and successful in your own right.

Wish I could be something
Well you will never find out unless you take a risk. Taking a risk is what is going to change your life. Why can;t you keep your dog? Im sure about the support groups.But i do know you will be happier single. Work.....be tight woith your money. Their are housinf asst and everything. Im sure what else to tell you, other than you will be unhappy unless you leave him....

Take risk=life change
Doing nothing=be unhappy

Go back to school.

I agree with Dizzat...look into Al-Anon (I've been in for almost 2 years I understand).
The main focus is your safety and well being. Please, the best advice any of us can give you is to make sure YOU are safe first.

sorry but, thats wat happens wen u get married early, which is the norm recently. Dont know if u're through with school, if not, u need to complete it and look for a decent job to sustain yourself. if u want a divorce, get it and move back to your parents. but u need to improve yourself so u can be independent, learn new things, meet people.......

You should contact an Attorney in your area for advice. An experienced Attorney is often a good first first step when contemplating divorce.

A Divorce Attorney handles these type of cases everyday and may know of resources and support groups that are not readly available to the public - to help ensure the safety of their clients. So if you are serious about making a better life for you and your dog, this will certainly be the way to go.

Hope this answers your question!

Elaine S
You need to leave as soon as possible. There are shelters for people. If you have a friend you could turn to them. What about your parents? I would start talking to someone, some churches have programs that help people in situations like yours. Do a search on the internet to see what is available where you live. There is always a way to get out a bad situation. It may not always be out first choice or exactly the way we want to do it but it is still better than being in the bad relationship.

there are shelters that you can go to...

Verdugo: To begin with you are not handicap. Look for a job. Thats easy. where you wanna live in a home by youself? ofcoarse is going to be hard. alll you need is a job and a room a place to take care of yourself. That's about 500 dollars a month for the rent of a room. That's all besides you are a good looking woman. I'm very sure that finding another man is going to be easy for you. If you can get a job that pays at least 12 dollars an hour you should be fine.

Here is an option that you probably have not thought about. Maybe you should join the military. Alot of people join when they are going through similar things that you are. Think about it they will ship you out soon, you get to travel, they train you for a job, they will pay for your college, you will be doing a great service to your country, and you will get to see what you are really made of. Other people have given some good advice I just wanted to suggest something different. Good luck, and I am so sorry about what you are going through.

I feel for you, wish I had some great resources to help you. At least you don't have kids yet, which really complicates things. Perhaps you can move back with your parents or bother/sister while you get on your feet on your own. I can imagine how scary it might seem, but there are lots of opportunities out there... yes it will be hard, but it can't possibly be harder than what you are dealing with now! You can do it.

lil_ lady55
i don't know what your religion is but faith would do wonders.sweetheart i have been through alot and trust iwas thinking what you are thinking as you read this when someone told me this"how is that going to help with anything?"its helps alot throughout all trials and burdens faith is the key and it helped me out alot.....try it if its the last thing you do

Okay, a job is first. School can be handled with loans when you are settled. You can call your village hall or county human services department (you can google the info) and ask for women's shelters in the area- they most likely will not take the dog so you should find a friend that will keep your pet for a little while if you can.
Call the shelters or organizations and find out which ones provide job training or placement.
Your local churches may also be able to help with information or a place to stay, or possibly a family that will take your dog for a short while. Don't be afraid to call them even tho you are not a member- it is amazing what some people will do for others in need.
While the emotional pain you are feeling is tremendous, if he is not physically abusing you or putting you in danger, you should take a little time to research where you can go.
Try Al-Anon- it is free and a support group for the family and friends of alcoholics.
Take a deep breath and focus on being safe. If you feel you are in immediate danger, call the police. You need to fend for yourself and let your husband fend for himself.

 Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:  
User Email:   
Post a comment:

Legal Discussion Forum

Copyright (c) 2009-2013 Wiki Law 3k Saturday, February 6, 2016 - Trusted legal information for you.
Archive: Forum  |  Forum  |  Forum  |  Links