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i want to leave my husband but have no money and 2 kids what shall i do?
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i want to leave my husband but have no money and 2 kids what shall i do?

well im in a horrid relationship which i want to end but i have no money support or friends. i have 2 children. what should i do and where could i go. moneywise i literaly have none and have debts too. please help me i need real advice.xx confused mum


    




2010-10-16 20:07:19 +0000
become a gipsy


2010-10-16 20:03:23 +0000
should have thought of this before the two kids
all i know is get a job and support yourself.


2010-10-16 20:03:15 +0000
Come and live with me i'll give u money


2010-10-16 20:43:37 +0000
I can only ask you to take your time plan it better there are help lines for all manner of things, an advert for live in housekeeper is a great start , i hate the thought of you being unhappy but please your children are the ones you need to put first, pity you don't say your part of the world but i am sure you will be Ok as you have got this far and you sound strong , look in "The Lady" for house keeping work most will adore children Not much pay but all your food n lodging found will be a big help If you are getting to safety i wish you luck if all comes to nothing the salvation army help also try c a b LUCK be on your side xx Rik


2010-10-16 20:05:59 +0000
if u got nowt u r losing nowt just go to a hostel or b/b n start from scratch.gd luck


2010-10-16 20:04:18 +0000
Rating
First of all, you need to talk to your husband. Tell him that if he's not willing to make your relationship work out, then he needs to help you out to find a place for you and your kids. If you guys move in different places, if you go to court for custody of your kids, you'll get child support money, anyway.


2010-10-16 20:26:20 +0000
Sue him for everything he has and there's lawyers from the gov that don't charge you but him! after all if you divorce he needs to take care economicaly of you and your children! just visit or find a good lawyer!


2010-10-16 21:23:16 +0000
Phone the Women's refuge for advice,good luck


2010-10-16 20:35:08 +0000
Rating
What makes your relationship so horrid? Is there physical or verbal abuse? Whatever cause you need to make a plan. Is your husband supporting you and your children? Do you have the skills and resources to care for you and your children independently? Please ask yourself these questions and answer them honestly. Make a plan to improve your marriage. Make a plan of escape that is doable that you and your children will be financially sound and safe.


2010-10-16 22:50:17 +0000
Why would you think it was a good idea to have two kids when you can't even support your own self? Making yourself financially dependent on a man is always a bad idea.


2010-10-16 21:55:52 +0000
Rating
I was the same as you,but now IM older and wiser,I would say,go to your social services tell them everything,take your children with you,they would put you up in a hostel,(I know its not nice)they will give you money to live on,then they will rehouse you,and give you the benefit's that you are in titled to,do it now or you will be stuck for the rest of your life,wish you all the luck in the world.


2010-10-16 20:03:19 +0000
Rating
Stay. Remember those marriage vows?


2010-10-16 20:09:14 +0000
You need to build yourself up into a position of strength. Start with small steps -- begin making friends with people so you can build yourself an emotional support system. Volunteer somewhere, you can do something useful, and hone some skills while you are at it. Get back in touch with family members.

Look into supporting yourself -- emotionally, financially, physically, and then you will be in the position to move out if your marriage has not improved simultaneously (sometimes a Change in You, will bring on a positive result in your relationship).


2010-10-16 20:07:51 +0000
Rating
Go to the citizen's advice bureaux , or try getting a job so that you can get out , with the money you save.

There are shelters for battered wives if you are being beaten

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_help_treatment_prevention.htm

You need to get really organised if it's really that bad in your relationship you will survive the oncoming difficulties with strength , it is a difficult task you have ahead ,but keep your head up , you know when you are doing the right thing.


2010-10-16 20:17:33 +0000
If he was so horrible why did you have two kids with him? You need a plan and the first thing on it should be to get a job. You can't do anything without being self-sufficient. If he's abusive seek out a woman's shelter. Why do you have no friends? In this day and age and clearly with a computer how could you not have anyone to talk to? Use your computer productively and take an online class if you have to educate yourself. It seems like you have made some pretty poor choices to create this bed you are now sleeping in. It's never an easy one to crawl out of and it depends on how badly you want out as to how much work you're willing to do to get there.


2010-10-16 20:13:41 +0000
Rating
Hi Sarah, sorry to read of your marriage being so rough. Just please make sure you really want it to end. I have had friends that have ended bad marriages for wrong reasons and they spend every day feeling like they have unfinished business and "what if's". It may seem like a far fetched thing now but know that it is for the right reasons or this could also be your future loss. You also have 2 children to consider which makes your decision based on 3 lives, not just you. You did not mention why it is so bad. If he is a cheater, that is Adultery and is a sin. In the Bible, marriage is only excusable by Adultery, every other reason falls under the "for better or worse" vows under God and is not acceptable. Whatever you decide, best wishes and know that you are deciding something that you can never take back. If you two end up together later in life, it will always be in your relationship, that you left him and it is a awful scar if not for the right reasons.


2010-10-16 20:28:05 +0000
Rating
Wow cant believe some the nasty answers you got on here ! Listen we all make mistakes and its not fair to assume you can live this way if its not right for you. Nobody makes the decision to leave a marriage unless its the only thing to do for peace of mind.
If you have children then its important that you put their welfare first, you dont say if you are in rented (council) accommodation or if you are buying your house. Either way if you are named on the tenancy (joint tenant) or mortgage (joint mortgage) then you have every right to stay in your home. However if the tenancy or mortgage is in your husbands name then you have a fight on your hands to be able to stay there.
The first thing to do is to contact social services and ask advice since you have children, they will not necessarily be bothered with you on a personal level but will be concerned about the children and what happens to them.
If you are absolutely certain there is no going back in your relationship then you can ask to be put into temporary accommodation through the council. You will need to claim single parent benefit and the social services will advise you which Job Centre to contact.
Its not easy leaving someone especially when there are kids involved so you have to make certain its what you want to do. Its an upheaval for the children but if they are witnessing violence, abuse or arguments continually then its not a healthy place for them to live anyway.
If you are in the UK, and I suspect you are, then you should go down to the nearest Citizens Advice Bureau and get as much help and support as you can.
Explain the situation to them and they can put you in touch with the right authorities.
Once you are away from the situation you will then have to deal with things as and when they arise, you have to be strong and determined to do this or you will end up going back and thats not good for you or your kids.
Bear in mind that their father may have something to say about you leaving him and taking "his" children away, he has rights and will want to try and stop you doing this so you will have to stand your ground.
I am afraid you will have a long drawn out battle in front of you but if you are strong and determined to do this then you will succeed.
Good luck, get as much help and support around you as you can as you are going to need it.


2010-10-16 20:13:09 +0000
Rating
go to a relative. they will help. of course one that will let u say til u get on ur feet.
best of luck.





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