my husband only gives priority to his parents and relatives? doesn't care abt me what to do?

satabhisham

It is easy to get separated from your husband. But remember your daughter needs a father.No doubt it is disgusting to have problems with the father-in-laws. Be patient with them. Do not argue for anything. Do what you have to do for them. Also do not argue with your husband.Separation is not the answer. A time will come when both of you will live happily. Rember he needs you as much you need him.

sarat

in india defnettly the respect towards parents is common and for such small issues you want to break your marage just think of some solution this is not gooing to solved by giving a ultimatum but can be done through love

tilu

I am a married woman and had gone through the same situation in which you are. However I think that in ur life if you have 2 path to go. 1st you should think that if uâ€™ll go for the 1st path then what would happened in the future & as if youâ€™ll choose the 2nd path then what will happened in the future. It is not just about your child, it is about you also, do you think that youâ€™ll be able to survive your whole life alone???
I know you canâ€™t stay with his parents, I am afraid if this thing happened to you in future thru your own kids. For whom you are ready to sacrifice your whole life.
Any ways I believe that you should try to convince your partner for shifting in any other city, by giving a good excuse like your job, his job etc.. Or if that is not possible try to adjust with his family, try to love them from your heart as your own family. & if you arenâ€™t agree with me, go for the path formula..

The fact that your husband was loving and caring shows that he likes you and the child . If his parents are very possessive and wants their son all to themselves they are to be blamed . Many men in such situations make their lives very difficult by not taking a stand . They want to be neutral. This ends up with both wife and the parents making the life more miserable. Your husband has gone through the same path and for want of some peace seems to have chosen one side ( his parents` side) . This puts you in an awkward position .

You know your husband is not a problem . Please do not precipitate any crisis and go to a point of no return. See if you can motivate him to take up job somewhere else. Also calmly have an open discussion with your parents in law. Totally open discussion . Make your points clear and do that without anger or hatred or crying . Do this and see their reaction afterwards . Tell than that the modern day wife has more expectations from their partner than it was the case earlier . If all these do not change the situation try to live separately for a while . Show that you are strong and not weak.

Geetika

u should not leave him coz ur child needs a father
but u should tel him dat if he want his child to be nice person he has to love both of u.
u both have to patch up for ur child.if ur child sees u fighting everyday den it wil put wrong impact on his mind and character.
it is ur right.if he marries u he should care for u.
ask his parents to patch up for their grandchild and start a new life again
also ask his parents dat why dont dey like u now
clear all ur doubts
BEST OF LUCK

shivu

"Isa beku iddu jayisa beku"
Be there and win it, you can not win by running away.

Due to many reasons like generation gap you and your in law may have problems in mutual understanding. but you and your husband should not fights for this kind of problems .
Keep calm first, Try to calm down others also.
according to you (they never leave a change to point mistake in me and then tell my husband abt that) you are also doing mistakes.
so accept is sincerely.
if possible confess with your husband before others tell him.

asshu

he is a heartless fellow.....man u need 2 leave d house straigt away.....talk 2 him.....stop playin wid ur life

N M

are u in laws in india...i suppose so and replying accordingly
dear go back to where u come from becoz i dont think his parents will stop all these activities.
do some introspection and try to find where did you let the love between u both weaken.
they must have something which they know will offend ur hubby but u dont...try to pretend innocence in front of him and try to use the weapons of ur in laws against them.u can do it.
but i think going back will definitely help,so go and live where you use to before ur child's birth.

ok if ur in laws were poisoning ur hubby's behind u.(i mean if they are living abroad and u came to ur parents for delivery).then also u ll take hold of the things with ur presence.if he does not change then consult a good lawyer...and get a divorce..i believe he would have to pay to heavily for ur and child's support.
and if u dont want a divorce then call at 911 and complaint against him and his parents for mental torture and they ll learn a lesson.
all this can be done if u return back so do it at the earliest.
u can make ur future which has to be bright dont feel weak or broken..
but dont let ur in laws or hubby know about your plans.

ALLEGATOR

First of all start showing respects to your inlaws & more when your husband is around.Take out from your mind that your husbands priority is only his parents,he may be giving more attention to them,since he was out of India for some time,but that will not be the same after some months,afterall he understands that parents will not be there with him for his whole life & it will be you & his childern who will be there for the rest of life.
Try to avoid conflicts with your husband specially with regards to his parents.
yeh zindagi ek naatak hai & ham sab uske kirdaar hain so apna kirdaar bakhubi nibhao aur wah-wah batoro & khush raho.God Bless You.

s b

It was easy to walk out of the marriage if you are alone but after a child its difficult. The patience and time is only solution seen. You shall have to keep him educated about the truth and the real situation and wait for the right moment when the other party move wrong steps and you can show your hubby their wrong intentions.
Some parents loving guys are really blind as they can't see the reality and they are misused by their parents. You shall not try to create more problems for your husband (as he is also disturbed for not taking right steps) and try to make points clear with out any high voice and fighting. Violence of any means makes the life miserable and moreover you are sacrificing your peace for your child who may be also get depressed due to these daily fights.
You can also take the help of audio-video latest instruments to show the truth to your husband . Think over it that how can use that devices like camera and recorder.

scorp.pankaj

Hi,
I don't know the people replied you what feel. But I feel this happens in life. Its not a solution to be separate or breakup the relation.
I will suggest you that once you try to understand him and the best way to understand anyone is to think like him/her and than compare both point of views and then react as per the conclusion you find but you should be honest when you try to think like the other person. I have lot of things to say but not getting the proper words because I don't have much knowledge about your situation. I just wanna say that sometime when you not able to make other understand then at least should try to understand the other, it can help to make some conclusion because once you do it you will be able to understand why and what he/she is doing or reacting like that.

Remember breakup or separation is not solution

I wish you all the best and hope every thing will be fine in life.

Best of Luck

Thanks

Ajitth

leave it yaar

Wesley_Asker

Love him more

Javed

you also begin to care his parent. matter will resolve automatically.

itsy

he is a responsible man ,so encourage him as a good wife and remind him that you are with him and don't over give yourself during the process,it takes lots of understanding and positive thinking to create a good relationship.If u feel u need him then u should like his actions and be a part of it.only then u can get contentment.

A Friend..a Well Wisher

U C Mam.... if yr Hubby is concerned 4 his parents ..then u shud b proud of him... in context of present Socio-economic senario of the Society..

I humbly suggest u to co-operate with him.. and soon u shall find that u r the boss in the whole Senario..

Pleaseeeeeee try it for a period of 6 months... then write to me at
t2rajesh@yahoo.com
Rajesh K Agrawal
Art of Living
Jaipur

Prathamesh K

Dear Friend,
U R not alone Or Friendship relations with Ur Husband,
U r also a mom too. Adjust urself with Husband's life U get all the rights, whichever U want within six months, As wel as U won't forget U R also a wife of UR husband too

Sangeeta

thats so sad!
I think u should talk to him at place where ur in-laws are not present. just take him on a date and very lovingly and politely negotiate with him.
If he love u then he will understand ur part.
Don't worry!!!
Everything will be alright!!!!
Have faith in urself and GOD

Smriti

Well try to be nice one day and tell your husband that you are not anti-family woman and wish peace and happiness in the household too but you feel too left out, lonely and unwelcome in the house Ask him whether he loves you still. In short, try to open up a channel of communication with him using calmer tone and play damsel in distress for sometime. Try to avoid getting angry and do not say anything about your in-laws to your husband for a while. Just say that you feel too tired and reticent at the moment. Talk as little as possible with others in the family, though you may go for morning and evening walks, and find a social life for yourself. Once you have an outlet, it becomes easier to bear things and observe the situation in a more objective manner.

swetha

dear friend......
i advice you to speak with your husband in open heart....
you must tell him your problem. if u cant tolerate u can go to your home but don't ever think of divorce...just stay in your mother's house for couple of days or weeks...then your husband will come to you & u can have a decision in your house because he cant act as your boss or he cant fight with you in your house...he'll surely become a nice husband..
DON'T EVER THINK OF DIVORCE....

ric

this is really a very common problem n you can see it in most of families. i can tell u from my own mother experience that she had this same problem n still has but not in that force which she used to have. gradually everything came under her control coz of her patience n determine.today she is working n taking care of us.stil my father has soft corner for his sis n bro. but now he can't help it.don;t be in hurry for breaking this realationshp u never know what is ahead. n what may happen.please remember this we are here in this world limited time.so,take care. n search this site family.org

R M Arun

You give attention, care and love to his parents and relatives more than him. Do this with all sincerely. This may change the attitude of the parents and relatives towards you and ultimately of your husband. Don't fight, if you want to continue your married life. Let us hope for the best and I shall pray so that you may lead a normal and happy married life.

cynthia

Hey life is full of thorns and roses..its easy to say but its difficult to face thorns. May be your going through real difficult situation i do understand. Ur in-laws might be in their 50's they don't have a long way to go...but u ur child , both have a long way. So don't hurry go slow ,do meditation so that u get some peace of mind. Don't fight just keep calm.Just answer the question ur hubby asks. Give him time to realize his duty has a husband. Spend more time with ur kid..things will become ok. All u need is a little patience that will cure ur feelings.

Shine

Dear,

I wish i could have a wish to help all those mother's who are suffering out there.
I can suggest you that if you are a working mom - then close your eyes and leave this man OR else you can share your feelings to him only during his good mood -

I really feel if his parents can change him - why can't you ??? You can...and do it in a slow pace but strongly - you will win.

my wishes to you

manisheyes

You love him He loves you!! divorced life is not easy for child..you just care your child first. Second your husband's parents. Third him.

I think you don't understand what I want to say. ok

your husband weakness are parents now. ok

So, Take care them toooooooo..ok follow this rule at home:

Management fundamental for success â€¦ :
If you donâ€™t like
any rule , just follow it
reach the top and
then change the rule.

Crazy B

Leave it never gets any better, Make it about you , go do something you want to, and enjoy it.

am here to help

oh no no dont end up the marriage jus for this i mean c'mon think bout ur child his/her future.... u jus need to talk to him make him feel n understand wat u have been goin thru ok talk talk talk as much as u can after all he is ur hubby talk things over dont jus fight n break up thats not wat life is about... there will be fights n hatred in life but that shud only bring each other closer n not make the mistakes again love each other no matter wat ok talk to him regarding this he shud change.. take care

rudrashiv_747

(a) Don't divorce / separate without attempting to solve the issue.
(b) Don't be judgemental - parents mind washed him / always find faults.

make a fresh start , a new beginning.

it may be because the marriage was not approved by the parents
or
u guys married and left the parents here in india - so they may think that u tried to separate them from their only son.

the old people are very sentimental - i have a grandma that at sometime is so at loggerheads with my mother that i dont understand how they live under the same roof. but mom eventually took control of the situation and things work around

it all depends on how much u like your husband and the baby - don't forsake something that has lasted for 3.5 years because of actions of few people.

this is your life , marriage and baby at stake - try to luv them n make them luv you.
else you have choices. make them

Keny

Show your full love and care, dont fight with him. He will come back to you soon

muhammed

it is very simple.you have to love your husband as well as your mother in law& father in law

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: