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should my sons father be allowed to see his son if he does not pay child support?
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should my sons father be allowed to see his son if he does not pay child support?

My sons father has been in jail for a year and a half and he is fixing to get out on dec 31, 2007 and when he gets out he will owe me $7,519.20 in child support. To me he shouldn't be able to see his son until we go back to court or get a job or start paying me sum money. Should he be able to see his son right after he gets out of jail?


elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom
ya, he should be able to see him, but, only on a regular basis, not this once a month or once a year crap! supervised only, because he will think if he buys the boy toys while w/ him that is support, wrong! all or nothing girl, make him be a real father and spend time w/ the boy! if he only wants to see the boy once a month, don't let him see the boy at all! good luck! =) and keep pursuing the child support issue as well... =) remember, supervised until he pays up...

I think your reasoning is very fair. He shouldn't be rewarded for screwing you over financially and ending up in jail.

he should'nt but that is not the law

Why was he in jail? Is he really safe to let your child be around? Is he a good influence? If he is safe to be around, I would let him see the child only after he shows the effort to start paying the support payments. He must earn the right to help raise your child. If he does get himself back on track and gets his priorities straightened out, I'd see an attorney first for child visitation rights.

I agree with the previous answer, child support and visitation are, legally, two separate issues. Visitation cannot be withheld due to child support owed.

The question really should be: Will he be a negative influence on your child? Why was he in jail? This would be the deciding factor for me. If he does get visitation right out of jail, make sure it is supervised.

If your ex was a positive influence and able to take care of your son in a safe environment, I wouldn't care about child support. (Not that you don't need it) I'd be grateful that your son would have the love and guidance of both of his parents, and things would certainly be easier for you!

Children should never be used as leverage to get what you want.

Good luck to you and your son.

janine o
Personally, I think you should keep the issues of custody and support separate. You may think you're punishing your son's father by not allowing him to see if he doesn't pay, but you're also punishing your son. Let the Courts handle the enforcement of the Order by suspending his driver's license and putting him back in jail or whatever it is they do. But try not to interfere in the relationship between father and son because of unpaid child support.

Child support is not a payment to see the child... it's in effort to support their upbringing. That has nothing to do with physically seeing the child. The father (in most cases, unless mandated by law) has just as much right to see their child as the mother. You are not able to withhold visitation based on monetary obligations. That's petty AND unfair to the child. Besides, you say that he has been behind bars for over a year or more... how would he have paid support during that time anyway?

L.A. J
YES he should be able to see his son. how can he pay you child support if he is in jail????
let him see his child, it may help him to see that he should help pay for his child to be raised.
unless he is abusive to the child you should never keep him from his child

Ginny C
Of course he should!!! Do not make the same mistake so many women do. Your child will end up resenting you for it later. He is the child's father and trust me if you don't let them spend time the child will think that his/her father abandoned him. And that is a horrible feeling to grow up with.

I think so. Why should your son be denied the right to see his dad? EVEN IF YOU DID REFUSE TO LET HIM SEE YOUR SON, THE CHILD SUPPORT WON'T MAGICALLY START COMING IN! He's been in jail, so he couldn't pay. Give him a chance. He'll get a job (hopefully) and the you can do what you need to do to get support. Don't be so spiteful. I understand how you feel (I have 4 kids by 2 men) but in the long run, most kids benefit from having a dad involved in their lives.

That depends. Does the court say that he has visitation, partial custody, etc. beginning when he is released or on some other pre-determined date? If the judgment says he can see his kid, you need to let him see his kid. If there's no such order I'd still let him see his son, and give him a month or so on the financial aspect to get things together before you go back to court, but don't use your son as a bargaining chip. The financial aspect of your relationship with your ex shouldn't involve your son in any way. If a judge decides to suspend all contact that's different. But if you aren't going to let your ex see his kid, where's his incentive for paying down what he owes you?

Susie D
Legally - child support and visitation are two different subjects. You cannot prevent him from seeing his child because he has not paid.

Child support is to care for the child not buy the right to see him. You need to think in terms of what is best for your son - and if the father is capable of being a loving parent then it is in the child's best interest to see his father.

Child support is NOT a bartering tool!

It is very hard to want to allow visitation when they haven't been supporting their children. You say he has been in prison for a year and a half. Does the reason he was in have anything to do with your hesistation to let him see your son? if not then you should reconsider. It is hard as a single mom with no money coming in from the father but it is important for your son to be able to know his father so he can have a sense of self as he gets older. I know there are plenty of kids out there sho don't have their dad's around but it does affect them later in life maybe not all bad but there is a hole there. Take him to court when he gets out and let them set it up for you and they will begin the process there to have him start paying.

john b
Yes. Child support cannot by law be suspended if he fails to keep up his support. You can take him to court and the courts can garnis his wages. Do not use your child as a pawn. Keep in mind that no matter how much hate and lothing you have for his father, it's still his father. Think how you would react if your mother didn't let you see your father. Not fair to the little one. Keep him innocent. Be the adult here. Use the legal system, not your child. Good luck...sue the bast...ard.!!!!

I understand your point, however the only person you will be hurting in the long run is your child. Why would you keep his father away from him. Do you have any idea how many kids are out there that don't have fathers that are interested in them at all? You should let him see him. He's been in jail, how was he supposed to pay child support? As long as he doesn't pose any threat to your child what harm could come from it?

Yes! That is, if you want your son to grow up knowing a father. I came from a broken home so I know the feeling of not having a father living with me. He made me complete, no matter how bad he is to my mom.

yes because your son has nothing to do with it and he needs his father or he will have regrets in the future. his father will pay for what he does hopefully he pays you your money.

but do it for your son.

He hasn't been able to pay you anything in the last year BECAUSE HE'S BEEN IN JAIL. Not much of an income there, if any at all.

He has a right to see your son unless there is a court order saying he cannot. And who knows: maybe once he gets out of jail, he won't WANT to see his son, and you won't have to worry about it.

But lets say he does. And, lets fast-forward 8 years down the road, when your son asks you why you never let him see his dad? You can bad-mouth the lowlife all you want, but all your son will hear is that his mom is a controlling and manipulative person who never let him see his father because all she cared about was money. Its not fair, I know, but the bottom line is, you have to do things the right way: through the legal system.

Any court will tell you that child support and child visitation is two seperate issues. The father does have rights (as long as it's in the papers) to see his son regardless if he's thousands behind. I know from experience. If he has visitation set up, I wouldn't deny him that right even though it's unfair about payments. Good luck.

You are going to learn very quickly that visitation and support are not related. Fathers are not paying mothers to see their children and non payment of support doesn't give you the right to deny visitation.

Not to mention,he's been in jail... so how was he going to pay you anyway??

I would be more concerned about why he was in jail and if that was a danger to your child... not about whether he has paid to visit.

So unless you can show a court there is another reason for denying visitation.. you are only going to get yourself in trouble if you try to deny it based solely on his non payment of support.

And that is how the law works.

One has nothing to do with the other. You can not keep your child from seeing his father because he owes you support. You should talk to a lawyer and see what your rights are. He will certainly have to start paying child support. If you can not afford a lawyer most states have pro bono lawyers that will take your case for little or no money.
Good Luck!

I know that it is only fair that your child's father pay what is due to the child. But you have a bigger issue at hand. The father/child relationship. My dad never paid my mother one dime, but she still allowed him from time to time to see me and I was thankful for it. Even though, I realized that we really could have used his support. My dad was in and out of jail and later moved to California, now he is reformed, remarried and has a 18 year old daughter, and he has apologized for not being there all the time and supporting me, he sees how difficult it was for my mom to raise me and my sister alone. I kept what little of a relationship I had with my father and now I am grown with children of my own and even though he lives in California he comes down ever so often and calls his grand kids. Because my mother didn't sever the ties we now have a good relationship.

don't make your son's relationship with his father entirely hinged on money. otherwise he may never have a relationship with him. personally, if my kid's father was in jail, I wouldn't let my kid see him anyway. the money would just be a convenient excuse. the guy screams LOSER

Stop thinking about yourself and your money. Think about your son. Does your son want to see his dad? If so, then by all means, he should be allowed that right. Just because things didn't work out for you and your ex doesn't mean, your son should have to pay the toll, because if you refuse his dad the right to see him, in the end, its your son that's gonna be hurt and because you didn't allow it, he'll blame you. On the other hand, if he wants to see his dad and you say yes, if his dad really is a low life, he will do something to screw up and your son will realize how his dad is, and then he'll blame him. See my point?

No, you evil wicked woman. Child support is a billing issue. No amount of payment or lack thereof will change the fact that his son is HIS SON. You said yourself, he has been in jail for a year and a half. How exactly do you expect him to make payments to you when he is locked up and unable to work at a job? It's good that you know the amount he owes. Let the court decide about handling the payments. All you need to do is not deprive your son of his father, regardless of how you personally feel about the man. He's not your father; he's the boy's father. Show the kid some respect.

Survivors Ready?
Yes he should, just because he owes child support is no reason to deny him the right to spend time with his son...and more importantly, his son's right to spend time with his father.

Since he's been in jail why aren'you a little more lenient about the back support...unless he was jailed because of non-payment. Take him to court to get payments re-established to bring him current (the courts will make sure that he does the right thing), but don't deny him the right to his child!

yes, because it is important for your son to know his father i understand you will get angry because he is not paying child suppot but your son needs a man figure they do not think about fiancial we do as parent

It's not up to YOU it's up to the law and the LAW states he has a right to see his child, even if he's behind on child support! Your child has a right to know his Father, even if his Father is a dirt bag!

You picked a winner....however legally you have to let him see the child....back child support by law is not a reason to not let him see him.

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