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what do you do when your husband tells another woman he loves her?
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what do you do when your husband tells another woman he loves her?

My husband was on a night out on sat- I needed a number from his phone when i looked at it he had sent a text telling another woman "i love you and always will" he says it was only a drunken text message. He never tells me he loves me. I feel like complete crap i cant think right.I dont know what to do do i believe him or trust my instincts that he is lying but i never had any reason to think he might be carrying on before this
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Thanks everyone xxxx


I don't stand in the way of love and I wouldn't want anyone standing in my way. The man is in love and you don't own him. Let him go.

Carrie L
You need to decide if you want the marriage to stay together. If you do, ask him to go to marriage counseling with you and see what his response is. Whether or not he has cheated on you or not is only part of the problem. He doesn't tell you he loves you and you no longer trust him. If he is open to counseling, that is a really good sign that he still cares about you. Marriages go through ups and downs, if you really love each other you can work through it. If he refuses counseling, I would consider getting yourself ready for a possible divorce.

inoffensive nickname
Call her up and ask her yourself.

kimberly k
usually people say what they mean when they are drunk. i would take this as a signal that you guys need counseling or you need to get ou t of this loveless marriage

Please trust your instincts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When you are drunk you tell the truth. Please get out of there before you get hurt worse.

None of your buisness
Leave him, he is a liar.

Mrs Tiggywinkle
Sorry but it sounds like he has another woman somewhere.. If your gut reaction is that he is cheating on you then you need to find out the truth if only for your peace of mind one way or another. I am assuming that you love him still and if you do want to keep him then it may be that you need to clear this up quickly and talk to him calmly about how you feel. You say he never tells you he loves you but do you say it to him? Sometimes men need their egos massaging by their ladies just to reassure them that they are still the centre of the universe.

cutie pie
ok listen to me...he said he was drunk when he wrote it...i'll tell you one thing, a person is more likely to speak their mind when they are drunk...so if he wrote 'i love you' in a drunk state then he truly meant it...
and also...if he was THAT drunk, how can he manage to send a text...it could be that he sent it while in the right state of mind. either way...he is lying...he did mean those words to her..
i'm sorry but the truth hurts...

If he was that drunk he would have not had the common sense to even dial the number let alone see the alphabet to push an I love you text message to someone. He is using alcohol for an excuse to get away with what you discovered. i would definitely trust my instincts on this one because you are never wrong about a gut feeling. If you do let this go without getting the real truth out of him he will continue on with this behavior giving him a night out. If this is what he is going to do with your trust then it looks like he needs to stay home where he belongs sweetie.

Lily B Talus
Absolutely leave him, you could do better.

Regardless there is a serious problem here. Just because a man is drunk he doesn't just text some woman and tells here he loves her. If it was you he did that to then it would be ok. Instead he chose another woman which indicates there is something there. I'm sorry but you need to really think hard about this situation and keep pushing to find out what is going on. There is more to this story than he is telling you.

Twin mummy x2 plus 1.
I think you know aswell as i do, that your husband has been having an affair. The only people your husband should be saying i love you to, is his parents and you. Saying it to any other woman is plain worrying and cause for concern. You need to confront your husband, and tell him you want the truth. Then once armed with that information, you can decide what to do..

Amy R
Get a good attorney, write down her name and phone number and start emptying the bank account! Move on sister! He's no good and you deserve better!

You wouldn't be the first woman whose husband showed no signs of having an affair. They say when you're drunk the truth comes out....It's possible your husband does love another woman; but that doesn't mean he isn't in love with YOU...there is a difference.

If my husband never told me he loved me and I'd found he'd told another woman, I'm sorry, but I wouldn't see the point of carrying on with the marriage....but that's not every-ones cup of tea. YOU have to decide what's right for you, and will you be able to live with your decision.

Good luck, and here, take a hug from another female.

Gypsy Red
First problem - on a night out! Why does your husband want to go out without you. Second - how drunk do you have to be to text someone that you love them but you can't say it to your wife???. Sorry hon but this isn't good. I think you need to face it that you may have a serious problem here. Do you know the other woman? If so have you confronted her? But then she would probably just lie too. You need to tell your husband how you feel and make him be honest. Drunkenness is not an excuse and don't except that. You may have to face that fact that your husband is cheating and decide what course you want to take. My husband cheated, I forgave him and guess what - - Did it again and again. Waited 26 yrs than had no choice, he divorced me. Think about it.

Get a lawyer and get rid of him.

vaughn favrua
i would kill him. he has been playing with your head all these years adn you dont deserve this. im sorry

he never tells you he loves you???? nevermind the text...WTF is that about? you know what? if it were me in that situation, i wouldn't be able to think either...i think instinct would make me pack my bags, survival would male me take the kids, and love would make me start a new life without him. never tells you he loves you? ever? wow - dunno how long you've been married, but that's really rotten. i'd have to go. out of respect for me and my children, i'd really have no other choice. where i work, where i live, and what i do can all be determined when we get there. it's certainly not a plan - but noone's life is planned. i'd go - now.

darkness breeds
get an attorney & copies of his phone records............................ he's busted.
Don't be a fool!

Jade_Bear :)
he must be a very good liar then!!
youve noticed the text and you cant ignore it, something is telling you this is wrong..and it is. even if he was drunk, he wouldnt have sent that, being 'drunk' isnt an excuse..to some extent you still know what you are doing..did you see any more he had sent? or ones sent back? and who is this woman? i would confront her..but then again, im the type to do that [im not gobby i just like to know whats going on!!] but if youre not i suggest you let your husband know how you are feeling, and tell him your trust for him has completely gone.
Did he let you see his phone? if hes been keeping his phone next to him a lot it could be a tell tale sign..
i would say until you know for sure, trust your instincts, be on your guard, and ask him whats going on. Ask him straight if he still loves you..,
definately comfront him about it!!! again and again until you KNOW the truth. Youve got to do a bit of digging around here.. dont always trust what people say..you need evidence..keep a diary of when you think he might be being unfaithful??
or if it gets depserate and you really just want to know..you could hire one of those honey trap women or detective people like in the moooovies!! :)
good luck with this, im sorry you are feeling so bad.
definately plan the best way to find out the truth though..think before you speak, and analyse every bit of information you can get, no matter how small

Lucy is right,let him go.I just got out of 5 year relationship with a girl that I new since highschool.We have allot of history.I guess she got bored and moved on.She tells me she loves me but she doesnt want to be with me.So, the best thing to do is let them go and save your self future pain.

Check his call log for previous messages and see how long it has actually been going on..Look over the phone bill to see how much that # is used.. Chances are more than once..Although he has probably already deleted any text messages, you can still see from the phone bill how often that # is called and received.
If it is excessive- leave his butt and move on.

good luck

Ok he doesn't tell you he loves you then why you with him. Sounds to me like he fell out of love. Also sounds like he is cheating obviously unless this is an ex g/f. Now decide what you are going to do get the love back in the marriage or move on as hard as that might sound.

Nasty Na
if it isn't his mother he shouldn't say it to anyone besides you. he's full of s**t and you know it. he's a horrible liar too. "it was a drunken message"..please! you'e naive if you think for one minute that he hasn't BEEN having this affair on you. he's too comfortable with saying i love you to this chick. kick his a** to the curb.

get rid of him love u can do better

Mean Carleen
Oh sure he was drunk BUT drunk enough to be able to spell???? He is having an affair. Get a divorce or continue to live this lie.

he's cheating on you. it's very obvious.

either you make it work or you leave (divorce)

personally, i would have to obtain a divorce. once the trust is gone there is no going back. you only got one life to live.


live together, but lives separate lives.

whatever works for you. this is YOUR life and you're in control of it.

Kathyrn F
Big red flag here, Sue. Go with your gut, he's involved with someone else.

Cut his balls off !!!

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