is it ok that i don't know what to do with my life?

Dani

Not one single thing wrong with you !!! At 21, I graduated from a very fine university. With a degree in hand, all I wanted to do was hang with my friends 24/7 days , party late and sleep late the next day. and I really didn't know where my boat was floating. I went to an employment agency to help me find a job because I was qualified and didn't want to waste that degree. I worked a couple of jobs through that agency before I found the one that fit me and provided a good income. I really don't think I settled down until my mid 20's. You will, too, just be patient. So far, you are very ahead of the rest of the pack !!! For me , there were stepping stonres. One thing led to another. It will for you too. Try very hard to be patient with yourself...

â˜…

Its ok, as long as you do not spend the REST OF YOUR LIFE THIS WAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Best of luck

~â™¥â™¥â™¥

justwonderingwhatever

Sounds to me like you just wanna make sure you take the right direction. You wanna try and go the right road in life and not miss any turns. Just take life as it goes..maybe getting out on your own will help clear your thoughts more. Don't worry too much about what you think you should be doing. Enjoy life. Good luck!

081

The ultimate decision is up to you, and to make that decision now at your age would be unheard of with the way today's world works. Some people are blessed in knowing what they want to do with their life before they even reach middle school; some live that dream, some don't.

There are millions of people that are in their 30's and 40's before they truly realize "what they want to be when they grow up." These people live various lifestyles but all end up in the same boat... having to take the risk and make major sacrifices to achieve their dream.

You are certainly not alone and I sincerely hope you realize that and perhaps just focus on living a fulfilling life while you try to figure out what you want to do. Don't feel like you have to rush to find your niche. When your day comes, you will know it with every bit of your heart and being... even if you have to wait a while.

If you're willing to take some scary risks (within the law obviously) and make the sacrifices needed to accomplish your goals, then you're already on the correct path to your dream... whatever it may be.

Here's some food for thought: One of the executive producers (or it may have been assistant, whatever) of MTV quit her $300,000 per year job to enroll in culinary school to become a chef. She spent some time as an intern (no money at all) until she was able to get a $7.00 p/h job as an assistant chef. She knew she wouldn't be able to start off big, but she knew it was her dream and she had to go for it.

Enjoy your life and experience all that you possibly can!

Not that it's relevant, but just so you know, I'm 22, so I can completely sympathize with you on the not knowing what to do. I was fortunate enough to be one of those kids who's always known what they wanted to "be." I always knew I wanted to be a teacher and that's exactly what I'm in the process of becoming.

Your day will come, I promise! I wish you the very, very best!

Megan C

Do what YOU need to do, not what your family wants you to do. You will figure it out eventually.

Keith Y

I will try to offer something here.

I didn't determine my career direction until I was 25. And that was with the help of a career counselor who, in effect, planted a seed into my head that germinated into a career decision a year later.

For me, I'd decided that I was going to be 30 soon and the speed at which my adult life was racing by I realized I needed to make a decision --- any decision that seemed reasonable. If it didn't work out, I at least TRIED to make a move.

(For the record, I have no regrets with my choice, except that my career path has taken me away from my beloved NYC to the wanna-be city of Los Angeles.)

Bro, I'd recommend a couple of things.

A) Get a career counselor and try to determine some desirable career options. With their help, you can then narrow the choices down by figuring out how difficult each would be to achieve.

B) Just get going. If you're in a parked car trying to figure out where to go next, you'll get no where. But if you're at least moving, then you have a better chance of finding what you need to.

It's hard, I know. You want to make the right decision. You don't want to look back with regrets. But always remember that you can go back to school and change careers mid-life. People do do this sometimes.

Joe1664

I don't know many people that know what to do with their life. I have a good job, nice flat and I'm still pretty clueless. Life isn't always about choises sometimes it just happens to you.

who are you going to choose for best answer? wow as if you aren't already having to make enough choices...i must say with all these answers i would say i think it should be clear to you as to what you need or should do. You mentioned that you are doing nothing with your life right now. One thing to keep in mind...do not focus on what you are not doing in life but on all the wonderful accomplishments you have made in life thus far at such a young age!! If you are able to afford to take a little break for a time and simply enjoy life for a time, celebrating all your hard work, and yes you have worked whether it seems like you have or not..then i would say TAKE A BREAK and really think this all out. However, sometimes with the break, one can stray away from this "roll" they are on, such as you...and you truly are on a roll. Don't evvvvven worry about what your family wants okay? It is YOUR LIFE! Has anyone been there?! Oh honey even your parents have been there..how quickly they forget! WE have ALL been there. Regarding the military...if that is what you really want i say go for it! With all your experience with college and work, you should be able to pass the entry exam with flying colors and even get in with a good rank which means good pay. Nothing, but good can come out of the military. Like another post i read, i too would recommend the US NAVY. With the military it will get you out of the house, out on your own, meet new friends, as well as keep your "old" ones and get to travel to even more countries than you have already been!

Just know that whatever decision you make, if you consider all the options and really think it out...that decision no matter what is the RIGHT one!

mJc

You're too young to be stressing out so much. Yes, you're old enough to be out on your own - but to know what you really want to do for the rest of your life? No way! None of us really know. (I'm 52 and I'm still searching - but I've tried to enjoy the journey!)

You say you want to get a job and move out with your friends. So do that! Plan out a budget and figure out where you can find work that would meet that budget. And I'd not rule out attending a good community or junior college. Pick one of the associate degree career programs and gain the skills you need to become employed in a good paying job.

Finally, the military is not a bad option either. It's an honorable and rewarding way to start your life out as a productive adult.

No matter what you decide - don't be too hard on yourself. But no more procrastinating either!

Bettee62

GIVE IT A TRY, WORKING AND LIVING WITH FRIENDS.DON'T BURN YOUR BRIDGES TO YOUR FAMILY AS YOU MAY NEED THEM IF YOUR FRIENDS BECOME FORMER-FRIENDS

Appel

you do know what you want:

"I just want to get a job and move out with my friends, be on my own ."

Try this first.

Big Head

im the same man. i think its true were young dont stress on the fact that you dont know yet. i mean i might not have best the answer to this. i love the way i am though i moved out my parents house, i live with my girlfriend right now. i own just about everything i wanted except upgrades like a better car or better living items(flat screen, couchs, high priced stuff, etc) but im having a blast i still dont know what i wanna do with my life. but i dont want to waste it either. i just dont want to go into a career and regret it. and i live here in vegas i know i dont wanna deal or bartend. i think as youngins we should have the choice to explore weve been in school since the age of 4 or so. why not give rest enjoy until we feel ready, i dont mean ready when your like 40 or so haha...

Jessica

I am 20 as well. Life is hard. I have had many jobs. 15 to be exact. And I have hated almost every single one of them at some point. I know exactly how you feel. I myself at one point thought of joining the military. I have had so much sh!t that I have gone through, even at my age that made me who I am today. Sometimes I am still trying to figure it out, but it will come in time. But you have to listen to yourself. You are ONLY 20. You have done many things that some people do not even accomplish in a lifetime! What is it that you are so down on yourself about? You can do anything that you want to do, you just have to put your heart into it! Make yourself happy. Get a job that you like, meet new people, start a new fad, hobby, anything. Do anything. Be 20. Be young, be immature, be mature, feel old, do whatever it is that your heart desires. Who is to say that at 20 you have to have your life completely figured out? Nobody. I don't think these days that there is one 20 year old who can tell you that they know exactly what they want out of life! Give yourself a break! There are no rules that say you have to know it all! If you want in your heart to join the military, do it. If not, don't. Whatever you choose in life, make sure you follow your heart 100%.

seidokan27

millitary might be a good choice for you. i joined the millitary and did 4 years and got out. for me a hated school and it was the best choice for me and in the millitary you definally do some exploring both personally and with the millitary. you will definally be a changed man. but in todays time i would join either the air force or navy. just make sure you join with a garenteed job, one that you can learn and use when you do get out, if you decide to get out. some people make a carreer out of it.

atomb67

sweetheart you are 20 years old and at 20 alot of us didn't know what we wanted. Just settle down and really concentrate on what is important to you in life...is there any dreams that you want to fulfill or any occupation that you want to pursue...alot of us over 30 wish we could go back to your age and start over and meet our dreams and goals...you can do it..pray and go from there.....good luck

oddball59

Trust me, you are not procrastinating your life away. It takes time to figure these things out.

I thought I had my life so sorted, did every job going and ended up teaching which I adored. Then got very ill and had to leave. Now I'm getting well again and thinking of work...I'M procrastinating....but I'm 47!! So there's plenty of time. Just do any job till you figure what's right for you....and don't rush into joining the military .... be very sure first and do it for the right reasons.

Good luck.

Mom

DO NOT join the military unless it is something you have really thought about doing. DO not join as a last resort for something to do. You are actually in a good place in your life, you know you want to do something with your life and you have years to figure it out. As long as you have a job and support yourself, take your time and figure out what it is you want to do. Nothing wrong with spending time with your friends, getting a job and moving out on your own. Dont live your life for your parents or anyone else. Do what makes you happy, as long as you support yourself and dont depend on others, enjoy your life! You only live once!

Dharma Nature

You mean you don't know what to do with your *working* life. Maybe you really don't care and you just want to work to eat so that you can pursue other interests without getting bogged down in the rat-race. There is nothing wrong with that lifestyle.

Carl S

From what you say it sounds like you've had some time to explore. You just need to take some time to look at your interests and what you are happy doing. Joining the military is a big decision. You have to weigh the pros and cons. If you like physical endurance,and don't mind danger than it might be for you. you will also learn a trade and get paid pretty well. the military is an adventure if that's what you like. It took me a while to figure out what I wanted to do. There are many of people in life that change jobs, switch majors and college, or go back to school for another degree. There is nothing wrong with not knowing what you want to do. I suggest taking a career test to find a field that best suits you. Life is short. Have fun, explore your opportunities, and don't beat yourself up over this.

Trish

everyone is there at some point in their life. Lucky for you......
you're still very young. My suggestion.......get a job, move out with your friends and take some courses at the local community college........this will allow you to find who you are, find your true passion and help you to decide what you want to do with your life.

dlnmllr

I read your question over and over again. It sounds like you still live with your parents (even after you've done all this traveling?) You pretty much answered your question in your question-I just want to get a job and move out with my friends, be on my own so i can figure myself out- Do it. God bless

david b

most people go through the same thing you are feeling now. dont stress just give it time and look at your options . your only 20 you have plenty of time to get your life on track.

Suzanne Rides

What did you study in school? Are you finished with school? Figure out what kind of work you want to do and start working if you're done with school. Check out Eureka.org for TONS and TONS of job & career info (the list every question you could have about zillions of different jobs - from salary to required duties to required education). Good luck! Oh and think long and hard before joining the military.

Bernie B

you should try to do whatever you want to do. This state yo feel in seems tough, but i see it as a fresh start, to begin anew in the career choices!!. So i would try different careers, see which fits you the most.

.... . .-.. .-.. ---

I can say I felt exactly the same way 36 years ago.
First off, don't feel as though you're wasting any time. You got lots of time in front of you. Joining the service will give you a solid place to spend the next three years or so sorting your interest out.
Like yourself, I couldn't find any direction at 19 years old. So, I joined the Army, and that was during Vietnam.
After I got out, I went back to college for a few years and learn enough about business to start one of my own. With that knowledge and just a few bucks, I became a capitalist.
Just remember one thing. It doesn't matter what you do to earn your money in life. It's what you do with your money that matters.
Someone with a medium income and a good sense of investment will do better than a doctor with a coke habit.
Live by this one rule and you will do well: Never create debt unless that debt creates wealth.
In other words, never buy consumer items on credit. Always buy things with money you already have, not money you haven't earned yet. Borrow money only for things that will increase in value, like a house or transportation to get to a job.

georgiabanksmartin

I went back to school but the military is an interesting choice.You will travel even more, serve the country, and will be rather secure if you make it a life time career.

RidiculousTallness

Have you ever heard of Dan Miller? He has written some great books that help people decide what to do with their life and stuff like that. He has written 48 Days to the Work You Love, 48 Days to Creative Income, and loads more. Check out his site (I listed it below). Maybe he can help.
http://www.danmillerspeaker.com/

matt

hey im 30 and still dont know, i live in australia and travel to europe/asia nearly every year because i enjoy doing it.

i did feel like you 10 years ago, just do whatever you want and enjoy doing, wether it be travel study etc. and just do it theres nothing stoping you.

try not to be influenced by other people, you just have to do whats right for you :)

nora22000

Why do you have to come up with ONE thing to do with your life? Couldn't you try several different things?

I'm 50, and I'm on my 4th career, loving every minute of it.

When I was little, people used to say to my dad, "What's Nora going to do when she grows up?" My dad used to answer, "That girl? Why, they haven't even invented it yet!"

He was so right--I spent 20 years as a systems interoperability architect--which just did not even exist when I was 20!!!

Find yourself a job that pays enough money to meet your needs for right now. Keep your eyes and ears open and try different experiences, take different classes, follow different career ideas to eventually find one you want to do for several years or even forever.

Good luck!

to_sassy4_u

Giving you a big HUG!!! I have two boys 20 and 21 and they aren't sure what or where they are going in life either. Just keep plugging away, trying different things and you will find your place in life.

I always tell my boys......and I'm 42.......once I figure out what I want to be when I grow up I'll let you know...LOL

It's just easier for some than others! GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!

Abu

My friend was the same age, had the same situation with college and jobs. He joined the Marines in 2003, killed in Fallujah in 2004.

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