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How do I convince my foster parents to adopt me?
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How do I convince my foster parents to adopt me?

Hi, I am 15 and have been in foster care since I was 13. My two brothers (8 and 11) are with me. My dad is in prison and won't sign the TPR, but I want to visit him and ask him to. I love my foster parents so much. They are a gay male couple, but it's not weird or anything. They are awesome. But they don't want to adopt, just foster. I want them to adopt me. I am pregnant and if I get placed with anyone but my foster dads, they will try to get my baby, I think. My foster dads want to help me keep my baby.

I want them to adopt me and my brothers. What can I say or do to get them to think about adoption? I don't want to convince my dad to sign the TPR unless my foster dads agree because then my caseworker said that me and my brothers could get split up (or atleast that is what I overheard). If you have suggestions, it would be awesome.

-Lilac







chicken
woo ur life should be a movie


sizesmith
Rating
Talk with your caseworker about visiting the prison with you. It might be better to have your bio dad sign the TPR with her/him there.

Also, try to call the warden or the prison chaplain, and explain the situation to them, and perhaps they'll be inclined to talk to your dad about signing the TPR. You might even put the TPR paperwork in a letter, explaining to your dad, and the warden or chaplain. At the same time, remember that your dad might want visitation rights with his grandbaby that you're carrying, which can be a problem in your own eyes.

Consider your dad's feelings at the same time, and if it's in yours and your sibling's best advantage to keep contact with him both during, and after his incarceration, do so. Assure him that it's paperwork, and not what's in your heart is the reason to have him sign the TPR. He's in a real helpless situation, and probably has no idea how hard everything is on you and your brothers.

My prayers are that since you're in a happy environment, with your foster parents, that you can stay there. The one question you'd have to be prepared to ask is, how did their care get lax enough for you to get pregnant? Also, ask your case worker if you can get a CASA volunteer (preferably a mom) who can help you with questions about what you're feeling, see the pregnancy questions here at Y/A, and ask the volunteer and/or case worker your resources to be able to keep the baby. Good luck!


r s
Rating
If your dad is getting out them social services won't TPR on him....

You'll actually get more aide as an adult without being adopted...

No one can make you give up your baby as long as you are providing good care to the baby..

Your foster dads could keep you on permanent foster care, or adopt you and get adoption subsidy which is the same pay they'd get as foster parents...

but they do move pregnant teens here to special foster homes...

if you can get your GAL or CASA on your side you should be okay, you can stop anything stupid a SW might do


@@@@@
Rating
Hey, I was a foster kid for 11 years and never adopted, so I totally can relate.

Is it possible your foster-dads don't have the money. See, if they were to adopt you, they no longer receive money from the state to care for you and your brothers. It sounds cruel, but it is a reality in many cases....the foster parents can't really afford to raise the children without the check.

Once you are adopted, they become responsible for you and there is no money to help..NO MORE CHECKS. Sometimes it is about $$.

Also, if you are adopted, the foster dads become responsible for you, your healthcare, your baby's healthcare, etc. Right now, as a foster kid, the state is responsible for you and your health care is covered by Medicaid. All that stops when you are adopted.

Now about TPR.......Which you are confused about:
The Judge and the courts decide TPR.
Your father can give up his rights, but that is different than TPR.
Completely different mechanisms.... Your father can not simply sign a TPR...usually the parents dont sign anything in a TPR....it is FORCED.
Your father can give up his rights volunartily, but that is not TPR.


C Wood
Just tell them exactly as you did us. Explain that you're afraid you'll lose your baby if they don't adopt you. Ask them why they hesitate. Respect their feelings when they tell you why. As much as you love them, I suspect they'll do as you want if you tell them as you told us.
cw


relswete
Rating
Hi, I am thinking the best way to know is to ask. I am sure your Dad's may have reasons why they only want to foster that are legitimate in their minds and maybe they would be willing to share those thoughts. Please understand if they cannot or won't it is not a reflection on you, it is just the way it is. you are having a child and 4 children may be allot for them at this time to take on financially, it has nothing to do with caring, they sound like great people! Good Luck..


Just a Mom
Well, I think it is awesome that your foster dads kept you all together and are going to help you keep your baby.

However, I don't think that it should be your job to get your dad to sign the TPR. I am not really familiar with the procedure of TPR when a parent is in prison. One of my kids' first dad was in prison off and on, but they still gave him a chance to work his plan. Has your mom's rights been terminated yet?

And about your foster dads...some people are simply foster parents, where as some foster to adopt. I would tell them how you feel, but ask why they are choosing to just foster. They might have a good reason. Or, they might be planning to adopt but don't want to say anything before you all are legally free for adoption.

At any rate, I wish your family the best.







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