Why The Baby Obsession?

Tonia	I was not obsessed. I just wanted to be a parent. A baby was referred to me who was in foster care and I said yes. I assume you are referring to my answer. My son was in foster care for 8 months it doesn't matter what country. He has a foster family that we reamained in contact with. Hence why I say all the time, my son's had three mothers... his biological mother, his foster mother, and his adoptive mother. Ohhhh.... must you keep harrassing me? Or are you minimizing the importance of foster mothers in children's lives because you can't get selected to be one?

3 girls and 1 boy for me!	I was going to answer your question...especially because it was directed to ADOPTIVE PARENTS! But since adoptess and birthmothers have decided to chime in and speak as though they have the knowledge of being an adoptive parent, you may as well listen to them, because they are always right you know!!!. I often wonder with the wisdom they proclaim and the knowledge they obviously have, how they ended up being coreced right out of their own children?

â˜… nÏƒt Ñ”Ñ…pÑ”ctÃng â˜… just cÏƒllÑ”ctÃngâ˜…	I don't have kids yet, but I think it's much easier to create a bond with a newborn or an infant rather than an older child. Also, imagine not being a parent one day, and the next being given a 13 year old. It's hard work to be a parent as is... and then to have an older child without any experience with kids or how that child was when they were younger, it's harder. I actually would love to adopt. Babies, yeah, but also a family of kids (any age really)... families are much harder to get adopted out, and they need a loving family as much as any other kid does. =)

parenting is an option II	As a young child I always wanted to adopt. I wanted to "save" all the orphans and homeless children in the world. I wanted to give them all the love and attention they would need. I didn't care if it was a baby, toddler, or child. (I was 5 when I thought this way) Now that I am older and realize that adoption is not all "good" but most healthy infants and toddlers are coerced, kidnapped, mothers killed, or black mailed into relinquishing a infant or toddler so that Americans can adopt It doesn't seem like the loving caring option and I can not guarantee that children in other countries really are orphans. I am hoping in the future that I can have a building built with the sole reason of helping people to keep their families in tack. I want the bottom floor to be check in, check in requires you to take a drug test. If you fail the drug test you will remain on the first floor and we will see if you want to be rehabbed or if you were just looking for hand outs. On the first floor their would also be the cafeteria where everybody eats. And their will also be a small clinic on the first floor where doctors can volunteer at. On the second floor there will be a job training and parenting classes and the mandatory budgeting class. People seem real confused what a need is and what a want is. There would be classes for childcare/parenting, nursing assistant, accounting, and other courses like medical coding and billing and classes to help you get your GED. To many people do not have any skills. On the third floor and up people will have rooms, but the rooms will not have tvs but there will be tvs in the common areas. The rooms will be set up like hotels and have bathrooms. For larger families they would most likely get a suite so parents and kids are separated. The building will have solar paneled roofing and there would also be a fruit/vegetable garden. People with mental problems or history of drug problems would have a separate wing they would stay in as to protect children. I am hoping that withing the next 10 years I can get this done. I would really love to help anybody that needs help.

Marnie B	As a hopeful adoptive parent I would prefer a baby because I want to give her love & stability from the very beginning. Also, babies are precious, & I dont want to miss out on seeing her reach her milestones.

Maddy's Mommy	Because the only adoption I would go for would be an open adoption. I refuse to raise a child with false hope of who I am and who they are. I want them to know who their birth mother is, I want them to know she loved them enough to give them a good home she couldn't at the time. I couldn't raise a child and have them think I'm their one and only mom.

kateiskate is getting married	A lot of the people who adopt can't have babies on their own. So they try for that replacement baby. I'm not judging anyone, but it's true. Anyone who says that is not true in a lot of situations is bogus and full of shizz.

H******	Usually to replace the 'baby that never was'

Pip	There is this myth that babies are clean slates whereas older children come with baggage. The reality is babies grow up with their own issues such as daring to want to medical info and being curious about their natural family.

Kazi	Our first child was 8 months old (China) and our second child was 2 (foster care), so I have never experienced raising a newborn and I have never had the desire that many people have to parent a child from day 1 of their lives. I do understand it however. Babies are adorable and innocent and many people feel like it is a very magical time that they wish to experience. There are also practical concerns as well. My daughter suffered from being in an underfunded Chinese orphanage. She was neglected and malnourished. It breaks my heart that she had to spend 1 hour never mind 8 months in that state. The earlier children can attach to their parents the better for them and their development.

AdoreHim	there is absolutely nothing wrong with adopting an older child. My husband and I when we began the adoption process, over 21 years ago, we met this wonderful brother and sister, that were about 4 and 6 years old, but because they were of Hispanic descent we were not able to adopt them. ( that was so lame). Some adoptive parents don't have the monetary resources to adopt older children, that may have physical or emotional problems. And the other thing- what is SO wrong about wanting an infant. It the county adoption agencies made it easier to adopt, possibly more older children would be adopted. The Foster care system is not good.

life is like the ocean	Adoption is marketed as a cure for infertility. Unfortunately, some adoptive couples "buy" into this.

cmc	Definitely it is the "feel more natural" part. It is easy to imagine bonding with a newborn or baby. However, an older child has a lot more personality to deal with. Just imagine your friend's children. Some you might be ready to parent in an instant, and others might require a bit of coaxing for you to take them in, and there may even be some you don't think you could really deal with. If you're an adoptive parent you can't really pick and choose an older child based on their personality and how you click. It wouldn't be fair to the kids to make them interview and have a trial period. There is sort of a trial period before the adoption is final, but you should be able to go into it fully expecting that you will adopt that child - not just "well... let's see". This is not easy for most people to embrace. But in order to have a successful adoption of an older child, I think you really have to be able to say with complete honesty that you will be that child's parent no matter what. Of course with an infant, adopted or bio, you can have a lot of problems getting along. However it usually happens far down the road at the point where there is no question if you will continue to be the child's parent.