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5 years ago february I did something I really regret. How do I get my husband to forgive me?
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5 years ago february I did something I really regret. How do I get my husband to forgive me?

Five years ago me and my husband decided to have a 3 some with another man. Unfortunatly my husband fell asleep and me and the guy still went for it. I thought he was playing asleep but he says he was not. He found out the next morning and was heartbroken. We have been together 14 years now and I want him to forgive me. I would never do anything like that again, he will not forgive me now for nothing in the world.
It has been 5 years and it still bothers him so much.
Do you have any advice for me?

I think he has something else that could be bothering him. I think he is just covering it up with this subject. He was in on this! This cannot be why he is acting this way! He may have had an affair or something else you may not know of! I would go to a counselor myself, if I were you. I do not think he would go if you even asked him to.This is just my way of thinking!!!!!

Michael C
fell asleep?? please.....

First of all, it was a choice made by the three of you and your husband agreed to it. I would say that the communication was not clear and now you are paying for the results of what you thought both of you's agreed on! Maybe he is wondering if you really enjoyed it more than you say, i would suggest a therapist or counselor to help you and him deal with this and then hopefully the two of you can move ahead and enjoy life

Remind HIM that HE was agreeable to this act . . .
His falling asleep does not release him from his choice of agreeing to allow you to be 'shared' with another. . .

If his making this choice bothers him THAT MUCH, as you say?

It's way overdue time - for him to assume responsibility for the consequences of his choices, way back then, and go seek counseling from a third party . . .

Good luck - fantasy is usually NOT what the mind imagines. . .

Divorce! U do not deserve more than that? And which kind of husband u have who can even think of having 3some??? How one can think to share their beloved??I dont have any clue of it! Ur husband is also not an angel!!

The girl next door
This situation doesn't even sound right. First of all how is your husband going to fall asleep with all this action. And second of all why didn't you wake his behind up??? I think you caused this on yourself!! And your husband needs to get over it because he fell asleep. What kind of man would fall asleep when he knows another man is present in the bedroom. THIS IS CRAZY!!

Oh my God, Ok you have big reasons to regret it. But wait, you said you guys agreed, so he should be ok with right? Ok, tell him that it's probably the thing you regret most in the world, and that you forgot completely about the other guy. Tell him he's the only one you care about. or set up a romantic dinner and play his favorite song and don't mention the other guy, just hold his hands and say "I love you". Then have fun and do whatever you want.

Rey Gamberro Salvador
It has to be someone's personal decision to forgive someone, or the only forgiveness you'll recieve will be insincere. On the other hand, by deciding to have a threesome with another man, he sort of brought this on himself.
In any case, there is no easy way out, and it'd be a waste of time for you to look for one. If you want his forgiveness, just continue to be a loving and caring spouse- not for the forgiveness, but for him, and your self. Real victory can only be accomplished by working while running the risk of a real defeat

You decided together to let the devil into your relationship, your no more at fault than he is. But as far as helping him get over it , there's nothing you can do, you have to simply accept the fact he may never get over it, and decide if you can live that way or not. Sorry , I know its not what you want to hear

Well he shares some of the blame for agreeing to the threesome in the first place...that's what happens when you try to live out a fantasy, more often than not, someone ends up jealous or hurt in some way. At this point, my only suggestion is counseling. You both need an objective interpreter to help you through this. Good luck.

SGT. Dillers Wifey
unfortuanetly tere isnt a lot you can do. i suggest talking about it thouroghly and getting it all off your chest. make sure you tell your husband how attractive he is and how much you love him often, and when he is having issues with it listen to him and encourage him to talk about your good tiem. always remind him about how much you love him.

That's really strange. He was ok with it as long as he was awake? Tell him you didn't go out and do it behind his back, you did it right next to him which made you think he would be ok with it. That you would never have done it if you knew it would bother him.

Then go to counseling. I think you guys need it.

your husband needs to rememebr that you two decided -
that means just because he fell asleep he cannot hold it against you. It was not your fault he could not stay awake.
Sounds like your husband would have held it against you even if he hasd been playing to.

Forgive yourself and move on. You cannot make your husband forgive or forget. Tell him he can forgive you or not that is his decision and do not let him bring it up again. You have apologized and need to let it go.

wired so is he gay?

Grand pa
Why did you go for it in the first place? You husband agreed . why worry its in the past? You cant do any thing now

Society Dweller
wow, thats a though one. He will probably get over it, possibly in a couple of more years. The counseling answer would probably be your best bet though, good luck.

I don't understand why he's upset...he let you bring another man into the bedroom. Your husband was playing with fire when he did that. I don't think your in the wrong. I think your husband is. Try marriage therapy. See if a therapist can help you guys out.

I am not sure you have a whole lot to be forgiven for. He agreed to the threesome. The fallin asleep thing is merely consequential. You both need to work this out and move on. I wouldnt consider this cheating in the true sense. This is why threesomes complicate things.

♥ Tori ♥
Well, it could take 5 more years for your husband to forgive you, but it shouldn't. He did agree to have a threesome, and he fell asleep. So he really shouldn't be that upset with you. I think threesomes are a mistake to begin with though. Good luck.

Joe Carcuss
1) If he agreed and fell asleep, that is his own damn fault (How do you fall asleep during a 3-sum?)

2) If you were willing to do a man right in front of your husband then you too are a freak. Either embrace your freakiness or find a man who will!

How about bringing a female friend over and ask if he wants a threesome this time?

well he should not get mad cause you both decided to do it and its really stupid that he would even care, it dont matter if he was a sleep or not, its basically the same thing

play with fire......oh sorry...
forgiveness comes from the heart. nothing you say or do will change how he feels. the only thing i can say is he was a willing party to it in the beginning, who slipped him the sleeping pill?

i take it you both agreed to it in the first place?
he should be the one feeling guilty for falling asleep.

Thats stupid! Why would he be mad, he agreed to the 3some. Just because you two continue without him, now he's upset?


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