Am I wrong or is my husband?

Woof!!!	YOU are right, not your husband. He should tell his family that they need to consider you don't speak your whatever language it is they are speaking. You shouldn't be forced to learn a foreign language so that you can be included in a conversation, but because you want to better yourself. What is the language???

This is harder than it looks?	yeah, I think it is rude. i bet that they think because you are married into the family that you should know it by now. instead of helping you out with it. again I say rude.

Lela	I think his family is being rediculous. And he feels since its his family he needs to stand up for them, but you're his wife now so he should be standing up for you. Kind of a tricky situation for him, I'm sure. And it's obviously hard for you. Just tell him how much it hurts your feelings. The fact that your learning the other language (for whatever reason) should make him see that your trying. That's weird that they stopped talking to you. My dads family does that to my mom though, only not in another language.. They just don't invite her to the "women things" that they do in groups. It used to really bother her but now she just shrugs it off. If it doesn't get any better, try not to let it bother you or ruin your marriage or anything like that. Just do your best to be nice to them and whatnot. Good luck!

*~CHULA~*	THERES THIS THING THAT IS CALLED FIRST IMPRESSION....well since now ur married with thier son maybe they dont think they should try to speak english if they reallys speak spanish......but that is rude dont go visit nomore

â™¦justmeâ™¦	It may not be intentional. If their native language isn't English, then speaking English doesn't come naturally. Think of it this way. The whole family speaks this other language except for you, but you expect everyone else to cater to your inability, or lack of interest, to learn their language. Maybe they feel that if you really wanted to be a part of their family, you would try to conform to them.

Malteselove	It's strange that they just stopped speaking english altogether. Don't let this get in betwen you and your husband though. Tell him how you feel about it and that you are trying to learn.

Timothy S	You should not be forced to learn another language just so you can FIT IN the conversation. If the family doesn't want to talk to you in a language you understand then they probably don't want you to know what they are saying because it is against you.

Crystal	You have to understand your husbands family too...sometimes it's hard for them to speak English too...especially when you're at a party and everybody is comfortable and wanted to talk about everyday stuffs. Often times, there would be words that is hard to translate in English. They're not doing it to be disrespectful but the other language is most comfortable for them.

sleepingliv	Nobody is wrong, you just hold different opinions. Learn the language, and when you're fluent, perhaps you might help the inlaws that don't to speak english. There's more than one way to view the situation, and your view of it will only cause you grief. Compromising is a huge part of a relationship. Try to see things from a less negative perspective.

Nick	Nothing wrong with learning a new language. The world is becoming smaller and smaller and knowing the language is a great asset. People are usually more comfortable speaking in their native language and it's hard to switch over and they will speak the native one whenever possible. My family is from Peru and I am part of the first generation to be born in the US and not speak Spanish. I know enough to understand them but not enough to speak fluidly. I just talk to them in English and they talk back in Spanish. Just learn some and use it as a learning experience.

Kelso M	Your husband is wrong. Definately. You should not have to be forced to learn another language to interact with people who already know yours. If you're the guest, your host should be accomidating enough to talk so you understand what's going on... if you're the host, the guest ought to speak English out of polite-ness. It's absured that you should have to learn another language.

â™¥Bri's Momâ™¥	This reminds me of a true-life I saw on MTV awhile back where the mother was speaking in their language to her son about his wife. I don't know if this is what is going on in your case but what I would do is learn the language without letting them know so you can tell what they are talking about without them censoring any of it if it were about you.

fatbrat64	his family should respect you to speak english when you are around, but since you did marry into a bilingual family it is good you learn the language. I am sure they are not trying to exclude you, but sometimes they probably just fall back to their language out of habit. Maybe you could ask them to help you learn it, that way they know you want to be apart of their conversations. Good Luck!

Violet Pearl	If you're taking classes to learn the language, why wouldn't you want to be around his family? I think you're being petty.

stylishdiva	your husband because if you dont know the language it isnt fair that your not included in the conversaations but the family should at least try to talk in english

dinkerbell1969	I agree with you. They used to speak english so why not now? Is there something they are hiding? Are they talking about you? I think it's ignorant, typical "in-law" stunt! Good luck!

Chantel B	Well you should learn because it shows effort, but they should make attempts to include you as well. Your apart of their family now.

tigerlily	i believe marriage is partially about adapting and compromising. sometimes, you need to adapt and compromise, which i believe you should do so. besides learning a new language is interesting!

jaz	i dont blame u for feeling uncomfortable. even tho they might not be doing it to be rude but it still feels uncomfortable i am sure. my family is puerto rican and my fiance is black. sometimes my mom talks to me in spanish not knowing but she does it ALWAYS when my fiance is around and i always tell her, "Translate in english because darnelle doesnt understand spanish". its good that you are trying to learn the language. i dont think you are wrong for not wanting to be around that. i think your husband should be more understanding and possibly even take up for you when you're there by saying, "speak english so that my wife understands." good luck

xrayca68	It is rude. How do you know they aren't talking about you while you are standing right in front of them? Learn the other language so they can't do that.

luckyduckyallie	no you're not wrong... they shouldn't be doing that to you this happened to me too - and i always thought they were talking about me - but then i took the language (without them knowing) and understood that they WEREN'T talking about me hahah it's just that they can understand each other more if they speak their native language they're probably more confortable speaking in their native language and probably think that you have a hard time understanding them when they speak english

Metal Princess	I wish I could speak another language, this way, people don't know what you are talking about ....unless they know that particular language as well.

Iâ™¡KÎ±Ò¯âˆ‚ÎµÎ·â„¢	I personally think they are intentionally being rude.. If they want you in the conversation they would speak english.. And tell your husband, this is AMERICA.. Why learn Spanish, then they'll have to find a new way to ignore you!!!

Ben M	well if his family came from france for example and its their native tongue then id say its up to you to learn it.

â™¥ â€ â™ â™£ MORECOWBELL	wow i don't think your husband is supportive at all. they are forcing you to learn a language by only speaking in theres... that would irritate me... i think you should learn the language and not let them know you know it to see what they really are talking about... guess dont' tell ur husband either then surprise him for his bday by speaking it...

Wendy	Well if you do not speak it they should not be rude and speak it in front of you, I think it is good that you are willing to learn it.. But I think thye should speak in english when you are there..

Lola J	husband. not visiting is rude. taking the language course is a great idea and you should use it to be positive

nabrenx	Okay, if you don't want to talk to the family, why do you care if they talk to you, then? Second, noone is wrong. Your husband has a decent (and non-abusive point) about it being a good incentive to learn the language. But really, it is a good thing you are learning the language for yourself and noone else.

à® Miss Nikki â„¢à®	I think it's rude. They know you aren't fluent, and they should respect you by speakin the only language you know, especially if they KNOW english. There is no excuse!