Am i rushing to get married??

kelly k	do get married till you are 30

musik.child	no my parents met and dated for a month then got married. they both loved each other and till this day (19 years later) they get along great

BluzGirl	Maybe he wants to give you the best wedding you could ever have, which is why he said he's not financially ready. Trust me your only 20 you don't have that much money, the average wedding these days is 20,000 and up!! You got plenty of time to get married, you don't wanna rush him, cause then he won't be happy.

Jody	if you guys are leaving together and pretty much doing everything a married couple would.. its kinda like you are married. i know how u feel thou. my bf and i have been going out for a long time and we honestly call eachother husband and wife. but we are both so young right now we dont want to be married. you are not even legal to drink. have fun and be young. its a good idea to wait until u are a little older and more finanically able to have a true marriage. you dont know whats going to happen in the future but right now get your life on track and when you are both stable and content with what you have become get married and start a life together.

Pamela	Just keep enjoying the time you spend together...your only 20. You have plenty of time ahead of you. Don't be persistant with him or you will scare him away. Just let things happen as they happen. You will appreciate the day that he surprises you with the question alot more.

Natasha G	I got married at 20 and I have no regrets, so no I don't think you are too young...but the think is your man has to be ready to get married. Marrige is huge responsibility and guys get really scared. People think that marrige is similar to living together or being engaged but it isn't. I live on the military base and I have a lot of friends that got married at 18,19, 20, 21 and they been together for 5 -7 years and before the marrige everything went great but once they exchange vows everything went down the hill and now few of my friend are thinking about get a devorce("easy way out") when they were married less then a year. I think you should give him a little more time and I am sure when he is ready you guys will make a great husband and wife. Natasha:)

Annabella	WHEN YOU BOTH AGREE YOU SHOULD GET MARRIED!

Kd	Have you asked him how it would be financially different? Maybe you should discuss what his/and her idea of marraige is to each other. Guys see marraige as much more responsibility, whereas girls see it as more of a commitment to each other. Talk it out, but for sure he needs to be the one to initiate it or he won't feel like he is the leader in the relationship. If he doesn't feel that, he will feel trapped in and want to get out. Let him know how serious you are about it, though.

Beatrice	Just wait for another 2 or 3 years ,Will be good for U.

Alex B	wait and see if you're still together after you turn 21. one person is gonna want to go out all the time, you're gonna have drunken fights, etc.

Mom of 2	First off, get your own place, get a good education and then after you are 25, think about marriage.

sappenin_2003	20 is kind of young, but when i was 20 i wanted to marry my b/f, were still together now, still not married though, it might be best to wait alittle longer to see how things will go

Babe	maybe he wants to wait till you two have a house together rather then an apartment.

miraclehand2020	I hope you have a college degree.You'll need it in the future.Get engaged first and then give yourself 1-2 years to get married,However you 2 are reaching the danger point where if you do not commit to a marriage soon and you wait any longer your marriage will end in a divorce. The thing I find intriguing is that all this time with him and he has not given you an engagement ring?You maybe more excited than he is.He may be leaving his options open hoping to find something better.Remember this saying,FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT .this MAY NOT BE WHAT YOU HOPED TO HEAR.after YOU'VE BEEN AROUND SOMEONE FOR SO LONG,THEY START TO TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED

dencur02	Both parties have to be ready for marriage in order for a successful marriage to take place. There is no specified time-line for marriage but you have to give him time. Even though both of you may have money, he still may feel the need to save more money before getting married. Weddings are expensive and the cost of living is expensive. You need to have a very big savings in order to have a comfortable life these days. He is probably most concerned with giving you the most comfortable life he can. There is nothing wrong with getting your finances together before marriage. If you feel that he is just making that up just to get you off his back about marriage, then you really need to talk to him about it to make sure the both of you are on the same page. Best wishes!

Katmando	When you both agree that it is time....

momma2z	Are you able to have money left over after any type of a wedding celebration that you may plan? Do you have much debt? Are you in school, do you have student loans to pay on after the marriage begins? He may have these questions...my advice sit down and take down a list of these things. Then take down a list of how you feel about your financial picture together, then write his idea down. Also, have you discussed your living arrangements? If you do/don't want children, if so how many? Will you or he be the main breadwinner? There are so many things to talk over. But, being together 4 1/2 years, helps. You are young, but sometimes people do find their one true love at a young age. Just take your time and go over everything I have listed above. Good luck!

Erica R	give it a year or two.. i always put it like this if you cna drink at your own wedding your to young to get married..

Shrimpboat	when you're BOTH ready. 20 sounds too young sweetie in spite of your time together

nrsechica	You both are still really young...there is nothing wrong with you wanting to get married, but when a man wants to get married he wants to be completely financially secure, it makes them feel better as a man that they can support you both. So, maybe he is still working on it, and just isnt ready..and a wedding is not cheap, its takes a lot of time and effort, or its an excuse and hes just to young to be making that type of a decision.

The Doctor Is In.	When both of you are ready, not just one of you. In any case, you have been living together and it seems to work for him but not you. You need that extra security that a marriage offers. You cannot claim that you are traditional since you have been living under the same roof without the legal stamp. You might want to figure out if your boyfriend is still thinking along the same lines and is not just happy to let things be as they are. Does he still feel the same? At one point there is no avoiding "The Talk" which will help you to determine some sorts of time frame with regards to the future. And by the way, the fact that you have a dog together means nothing, really. People with kids and/or properties together never get hitched or get horribly divorced. Your partner needs to get on the same page with you so you can make concrete plans for your future together, unless that is not where he sees himself down the line.

++baby dust++	get married when u both are ready...its not someting to rush into.....just enjoy each other now...marriage will come.....dont rush

Sweet Dragon	If you're happy as you are..... don't marry !!! Marry only if one day you get pregnant... It will be safer for the kid's future !! good luck !!

TV Nerd	No, I don't think it's a good time. Financial woes can put a strain on the marriage. He wants to be secure enough to support a family before he starts one. Besides, 60 percent of marriages where the participants are under 23 fail. Don't bring it up for a couple of years and wait until he asks you.

luv	YES!!! you're only 20 for god's sake. what's the rush? just relax, live life, have fun & whatever you do, don't nag him about it! or you'll find yourself 20 and single (which is not a bad thing) but if you love him and he loves you then you'll both know when it's right and timing won't be an issue!

pez4me	please wait a few more years in my opinion 20 is way to young you both have alot of growing up to do you need to experience life a little more wait at least until you are 25 have your career established i married at 20 after knowing him for 4 years after 2 children and 10 years later we are divorced i think we should have waited a little longer to be more mature if you decide to get married now im not saying it will fail just you have a better chance if you both would wait a little longer good luck hope this helps

thedude	When you guys are both ready. 20 is still very young! My wife was your age and had her high school boyfriend that long as well. Then they broke up, then she dated a guy for 2 years, another guy for a year, and we have been together 4 years now...she is age 28. I know everything seems great, but not all high school sweetharts should get married at age 20. Don't pressure him either; you'll want to know that he wants to marry you when he asks, and not that he is just trying to make you happy. Good luck!

SLWrites	If you're living together, there's absolutely no excuse not to be married. You're making it financially now, so that is a lame excuse at best. If he wanted to marry you, he would. Obviously he doesn't, and why should he?? You're giving him everything a wife would, but he's free to leave any time he likes. Move out, and tell him you'll move back in when you're married. He'll whine for a few days, then it will be over completely and you can move on and find someone who actually respects you.

Krista	Well, marriage is a huge deal. I wait until you have finished college or when you have jobs that are financially secure. I know a lot of people say 20 is young, but you may be ready. He, on the other hand, may not be ready yet. If you rush marriage before he is ready, it could have disaterous results. Be patient, he has already committed to living with you and sharing the responsibility of a pet. Leave it alone for now and let things work out for themselves. You will both be happier for it. I wish you the best of luck and just know that he may not be ready until his mid twenties. As long as he still shows you that he loves you, don't worry.

Babylove	When you both agree.