Are these the jobs of a woman in a marriage?

J K	So what's your problem?

Dr. Cornwallis	Reading your question helped me with my English. It was like reading a book. I did not see a question to answer, but jobs in marriage.

Chloe	Did you say home or prison?

pisceswoman87	Tell him that he has his way of cleaning and you have yours, and if he doesn't like your way, then he can bloody well do it himself.

Just Wondering	I guess I can understand that since you are a stay at home mom that he would want the house clean but it seems like he is being a bit controlling. He should understand that being a mom is a very hard job and that you need some time for your self as well. He should be a bit more caring to you.

cms_38us2002	Nobody male or female deserves to be treated like that. You should maybe check into getting professional help for the both of you. Him for demanding this much of you, and you for doing this much for him. I wish you luck!

intewonfan	Wow! Sounds like he has a pretty good life. You should dump his a** and find you one of those!

Ms Pollyanna	My husband is very old fashion, but on his days off, he did help with the children. Try talking to him that he does have to help with the children you did not make then yourself!

bOnNiE	HOLY sh at.... umm talk about controling... sounds kinda really old fashion... thats totally not fair im surprised you dident put down he hits me... my mom and my dad got divorced and had 4 of us as well 3 girls one boyi am the youngest... and i dont talk to my dad anymore its been 5 years since i have talked to him... well a full convo that is... kids will make messes of course and its not fair he tells you to do it... say F U im not taking this anymore bring the kids and walk out... call a consouler or something i dunno... it sounds bad to me... you are not his alarm clock. or his personal chef... or the chamber maid... i dont think its fair what he is doing at all

*Just Married*	I believe being a stay at home mom is a full time job and should be treated like one. You are the CEO of your home and it is your responsiblility to manage the household. This is what I believe a stay at home mom's duties should be: keep the house neat and clean (laundry, dishes, floors, countertops/tabletops, etc.), take care of children (meals, homework, etc.) and take care of your husband (meals, emotional support, etc.) With a schedule this can be easily accomplished. Now, for the husband's duties: work a full time job (provide money, health insurance, college and retirement savings), spend quality time with your wife (emotional support, little treats and surprises, etc.), spend quality time with your children (emotional support, little treats and surprises, etc.), and help with disciplining children. Children should also do their part. They should each have weekly chores (example: dishes on Thursday and trash on Sunday). Your husband should be flexible and understand that everything cannot be perfect all the time and you are trying your best. I know it's hard with 4 children but with organization it can be done. Good Luck!!

dianesomeone	doesn't sound like a happy marriage to me....marriage is supposed to be a partnership where things are shared and if you feel you are being taken advantage of, then you probably are...sounds to me like he needs a mother not a wife.....

sweetpea	He has definate control issues. He is probably insecure as well. If you don't interfere in how he does his job, he should not interfere with yours. He should get himself up in the mornings, your not his mom. That goes for getting his own clothes too. If he sees a mess and he is anoyed by it then he should clean it up himself. Do not let him dictate to you another day. Tell him if he does not like the job you are doing, then pitch in and help you out. Being a stay at home mom is like having 3 jobs outside the home. Tell him you will be happy to get a job, and he can hire someone to come in and do everything you do. Tell him if he does not treat you with dignity and respect and as an equal partner then he can leave and find someone who will. Fat chance. Yes he is taking advantage of you. put your foot down now. Get the help you deserve from your husband. Tell him he is not living up to your expectations. Turn the tables. He is not perfect. Paying the bills does not give him the right to be so bossy.

moshydog	In reality, it seems you got it pretty good. If you think you are getting the raw end of the bargain, ask to swap places... whenever my wife gets a bit frustrated with chores, I ask her if she wants to go get a full time job while I stay at home to look after the kids, cook and clean. She hates work (employment that is), so she always says no. if you consider that you have 7 hours of the day to do everything in, and that he probably has a stressful workplace, you'll understand that it isn't all roses for anyone. A little organisation will also go a long way in assisting with getting what needs to be done, as well as having some time for yourself. Telling him that you are not going to do it (confrontation) will only create strife. If you find you aren't coping well, tell him your problems first (problem resolution), then release your emotions. Note: Forget the advice of all the 12 yo girls to dump him (they have no idea). However, you need to negotiate how you feel about this with him, and arrange something that is acceptable to you both. If he wants a sparkly house, he has to cook (or something like that)...

omiluv	first of all, due to my marriage today, i am in the same situation as you are. anyways, a little bit about myself...i have 3 children, only 1 of which is my husbands. i was never a stay at home mom with my other 2 children. with my husband, i am expected to stay home. i to do all the laundry, chores, yard, clean the cars, take care of the kids, have to shine his shoes, have his lunch made, etc. the same as you do. i also work a home based business from home, take care of all the bill payments, budgeting, and help out with some aspects of his work, his job. although i still do a lot, a talk helped me big time and he now helps a lot even if he works 14 hour days. to your question, it is your job as a stay at home mom to take care of the cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc. but every once in a while, he needs to cut some slack on you or at least help out with some. i would prefer you have a talk with your husband about just supporting you and what you do contribute to his personal side of his life. he should be given a scenario or a day with the kids to himself at home. this just might make him a little more appreciative and at least help you to get his own clothes and wake up to reality everyday himself.

Raven	Pretend you're very sick and can't get out of bed for a week or two. Don't get up until he is forced to take over some of the chores.

Goofy Foot	Unless this guy is working an obscene amount of hours (meaning more than me - I do 60 to 70 a week) he sounds like a self absorbed, ungrateful, lazy ba$tard. Based on your description, he needs you a HECK of a lot more than you need him. My advice to him (if he is man enough to accept it) is to start showing some mad appreciation for his wife (before someone more appealing) does.

Moz	i think your husband's name is hitler. he should be ashamed of himself. reading this made me feel sick inside. you poor, beautiful woman. you must have no self esteem and he is bashing you down with every order he gives out. get out of this marriage - or kill him. ever heard of poision pie..... no , me either. If my husband ever treated me like that he get a backhand across his face and i'd march his a*se out the door, and he knows it. you can not treat your wife like he is. he needs a BIG wake up call. a marriage is when 2 people come together, join as one, become a partnership. this is not what you have. i would be doing something about it - - quick smart!! good luck my love! by the way - washing dishes twice is a major waste of water! we have serious water restrictions where we live, (we re-use washing water on garden, etc.) maybe you should send him here to live with us - we'll show him what its all about!

G T	Lady, if that's your life and you have some disposible income under your control, take a holiday somewhere without inviting him. Simply tell him its necessary to save your marriage. Your time away may make him appreciate what he has, but I doubt it. You sound trapped. You and him need some counseling.

The Doctor Is In.	Well. I personally would not put up with it. Sounds like you are a modern day slave. are you aware that it is the year 2007?

Karen Smith	Hun, youre completely being taken advantage of...Talk to him and if he wont budge, take your kids and leave. And file for divorce.

lyn	HE'S A CLEAN AHOLIC. WITH KIDS YOU HAVE TOYS AND DIRTY CLOTHES AND WATER IN THE BATHROOM. JUST RINSE THE DISHES OFF AND PUT IN THE DISHWASHER, THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO DO. DON'T LET HIM PUT YOU DOWN, YOUR DOING A LOT OF JOBS WITH THE KIDS AND THE HOUSE. BUY HIM AN ALARM CLOCK AND HE CAN GET HIMSELF UP. PICK OUT HIS CLOTHES THE NIGHT BEFORE. THAT WAY YOU KNOW HE MATCHES. GOOD LUCK.

Aliz	Is he another child? Ever hear of divorce because he is being abusive. Marriage is a two-way street and he should do some of the work himself. He may not be hitting you, but stop being abused.

kitkat	Ok, I think that if you are asking this question, you have a feeling deep down that this is not right. A relationship should be 50/50. He almost sounds abusive emotionally. Are you happy? Do you wake up in the morning dreading getting out of bed? I think you need to find someone to talk to, a member of the clergy, counselor, friend etc.. you need to start thinking about you, do you want your children to grow up thinking that this is normal? I hope you seek the help/guidance you need right now. I wish you all the best.

jacks my boy	If you are a stay at home mum, you should be able to keep the house REASONABLE. This does not include breaking your back to clean up after him though, you have 4 children to pick u p after not 5! If my husband demanded that of me, I would tell him where to go. Thats disgusting

Chainsaw	If he works and brings home the money then he can expect this. His demeanor is not appropriate. I suggest you reading the book Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus and then offering it to him.

Dew	well I know How you feel.I was a stay at home Mom also and my Husband expected much of the same.I would always say I am not your maid.I also mowed the grass and shoveled the snow and started his truck and cleaned of his windows.It's not that you don't want to be a good wife But some apperciation shown for what you do would be nice.My Husband don't give me much money I was on a budget I meen it's not a bad thing ,But nice to be treated as an adult.He Never thought the house was clean enough and complained about the food I fixed,I had to take my kids to and from school .and they have never had a baby sitter inless it was a family member.Please Email me if you would like to chat or just blow some steam .

cfalways	i don't know what to tell you. your husband is living in a fantasy world. he is a momma's boy. so he wants his wife to do everything for him like his momma did. don't mean to sound so harsh, but you have really have to find a way to regain your own identity and your own life again. get a full time job or start off with a part time one and start saving your money. you need to find a way to either rebalance things or get your happines back or something. i think you are being taken advantage of. he wants his wife to do everything. good luck.