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Can my ex husband go to court to get custody of our children if I get remarried?
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Can my ex husband go to court to get custody of our children if I get remarried?

I have custody of our children and he gets them every other weekend, he'd have them one night in the week too if he didn't live so far away from us. I'm engaged to get married in April to the man who used to be his close friend until my ex cheated on me leaving me pregnant and with pretty much nothing but our home, debts and our young son. If my now fiance hadn't stepped in and helped, I would still be struggling to make ends meet. Well my ex husband keeps threatening that if I do go a head with getting married he will go to court to get custody saying that my fiance is hurting the children which isn't true at all. My fiance loves the children from my previous marriage as much as he love his daughter from his own previous marriage. My ex has remarried, he got married to the woman he left me for about 10 days after the divorce came through and he's made his own life with her but keeps trying to control my own by using the children as a tool.







Annie
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he can try


Jen
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Truck stops sell a little thing called a dispatch buster. You can hook it to the phone a record conversations. With this you could get him into a chat about why he does not want to let you be happy and why he would threaten you and his ex-friend---that apparently is your "white knight" ---with these trumped up child abuse threats. When he starts talking about it you will have it recorded. He was probably abusive as a husband and tries to continue as an ex-. After he does this and you get it recorded then file a complaint with the police. See if you can get a restraining order to stop his abuse and threats. This will have things recorded legally and be ammunition in case there are problems. Play his games against him.


sheloves_dablues
Contact a lawyer immediately. Your husband has told you flat out that he is prepared to lie to the courts to get custody of the kids. You need it documented BEFORE you get married that he plans to commit perjury. Have anyone who knows your fiance and your children and their relationship provide a written statement of their knowledge of the relationship. Ensure the statements are notarized and filed with your lawyer. Have your children examined by a doctor to certify that they are not showing any signs of physical harm.


sriram
Hey why are you thing about these nonsense ,when you are taking care of children in a proper manner


Ginger
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Get him to threaten you via email or text so you have it in writing. I don't know how old the kids are but are they old enough to testify if it gets that ugly? I would be shocked if your ex husband followed through, he is just bullying you to get what he wants and I can't imagine he would try and put the kids through all that. There is just no way he would. Not to mention he has no proof. Nothing! Have no fears, live your life, it will work out.


craft painter
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This would be totally unlikely to happen. The reason I say this is that your husband would have to prove your fiance was hurting the children and since he isn't then there would be no proof. He could cause you both a lot of headaches though. He would have to report this abuse to the police first and the child welfare department and they would investigate this. He cannot just go to court and say that it is happening. There has to be some physical signs of abuse. Other then causing you both a headache he cannot get custody of the kids just because you marry.


Dylan
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Their his kids too! moms like you disgust me. my mom always does this crap and wont let me see my own father. just because you dont like him doesnt mean your kids feel the same way. I'm 16 and as soon as i go to college i will make sure its right next to my father so i can see him and she wont hear from me again.


Serenity
Do you have any physical proof of his threats such as text messages, e-mails, voice-mails, etc? If not start keeping a journal and document each time he threatens you including the date and time. However, he would have to provide proof to the court that your fiancee is really doing the things he says. Like one poster said you will probably not lose your children, but you (and your ex) may each have a home study done on you by social services. Your ex sounds like a total creep, and by the way one of the characteristics of an abuser is to attempt to use the children as pawns to gain control of the other person.


Rock, Paper, Scissors
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OK, the first thing you need to do is create a log of all the dates and times your ex has made these threats. (because if he takes you to court, the judge will ask for this information if you mention he has threatened you and you will appear to be more credible and put together) If you have any emails, text messages in which he has made these threats you save them. Your ex cannot take your children away without ANY solid proof that they are being hurt, neglected or abused. He is a piece of garbage for putting your children in the middle of his selfish tantrums. Don't be afraid of him. He cannot do anything without proof, however YOU can have proof that he is making these threats to you. What you need to do, is cut all communication to a bare minimum unless it involves your children. There is absolutely no reason why you have to listen to him verbally abuse you or threaten you. You actually have the right to place a restraining order on you if he continues to make you feel unsafe in any way. The next time you have a phone conversation, you should record it if possible. If he begins to say things about taking your children and making things up, you can have evidence in court. I suggest you speak to a lawyer right away, don't wait for him to do something. You need to take action and protect your children. I know this may sound a bit extreme but you have to prepare yourself in case he decides to follow through with his words.


femsidhe
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He can say anything he wants, he has to prove it to get custody. If he gets caught lying he can also be charged with perjury. Just get married anyways, he's full of hot air and is just trying to scare you, he can't do squat.


bec
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no, record what he says to you about if you get married that he will make stuff up. if he sends you text messages about it save the text messages, and any court of law would tell him to get bent. my ex husband says stuff like that to me he says that if he sees me with another guy that he will have him beaten up and that he will say bad stuff about him to our children so that my children wont like him.


jumpinjupiter69
NO, he cant do a darn thing about it. Just because you get married.....doesnt mean anything. If it means anything at all, the court would look at you getting remarried actually better for the child. See what I mean ? Its all a ploy to play you and be a bother for you . Good Luck


Mgm
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Let him what he doesn't realize that ultimately this ploy will hurt him more than help the courts frown on this and can cost him legally. I say let him hang himself in his own rope just keep your ducks in a row and you will be fine.


Harley
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He cannot take your kids unless its true. Kids will not be removed from their home unless they have proof. Social services takes into consideration that he may not like you and will be vindictive. If you are so worried arrange to see a family psychologist. A professional is the best way to discredit your husbands accusations. Maybe his school has a psychologist.


jul1013
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I seriously doubt it. He would have to prove that you are an unfit mother and that they are in a dangerous situation. If that were the case, I am sure you can use that same defense against. That he is bad situation and that the woman is a bad influence because she had an affair with your husband. I say let him try. Make him pay for the court costs. As long as you are confident that you provide a good home for the children and they are happy. He would have to proof of abuse of the children, drug abuse, etc. good luck!


mom2babm
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You ex would have to prove that the children were being harmed by your fiance. Why wait until you get married? That is stupid. Do not let this man continue to control your life. Do not use your children as a tool. Your ex and his new wife would need concrete evidence that your children were not in the most stable environment by living with you and sharing custody with him. Besides, he has no leg to stand on. He cheated on you, married his lover and you didn't do this to him. He is only threatening because he still wants you in your life. It is the old adage 'if I can't have her, i don't want anyone else to have her.' Go ahead with your wedding. If he tries to sue you for custody, fight him until the bitter end. How long have you and your fiance been together? That will be a good defense against your ex. The judge will question why he took this long to decide it was not a good environment for your children. The law typically sides with the mothers. Good luck.


friendlyadvice
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Your husband is mentally ill. He is trying to emotionally manipulate you and doesn't care if your children are traumatized in the process. Part of his happiness is making sure that you are never happy. Start keeping a diary of conversations with him. If anyone else has witnessed his threats, ask them to write a statement about him. If there are people who have seen your fiance interact with your children, ask them to write a description of the relationship they see. Contact a lawyer before this gets any more serious.


Hero I'll Be
No he cannot get custody of the children if you remarry. He would need proof that your fiance is abusing the children, and so far from what you say, he hasn't. There are no bruises or anything on them as identifiers of abuse. And the children would most likely have to take the stand in court to either defend your fiance or they biological father, depending on who's story is true. But if there is no proof of any abuse, you should have no worries or problems. Don't let him control a life that he has no control over.


stephanie_6234
threats are just that...threats, and they are only to scare you. If you already have physical custody its not likely to change just because you get married, he will have to prove you an unfit parent before that can happen. getting married doesnt qualify you as an unfit parent.


Gerard
the court always leans towards the mother and rightly so in my opinion PS providing your new husband has no criminal or shady past







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