Divorce & Changing Schools?
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Divorce & Changing Schools?
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Hi. My husband and I separated 5 years ago. Our daughter is now 7. My daughter until now has gone to school near my ex so that he can see her in the afternoons. This involves me having to drive for up to 3hrs a day when there is a perfectly good school 5 mins walk from our house. My daughter has to spend up to an hr in the car every morning and gets stress tummy aches almost every day. She gets home so late at night that she is not able to make friends in our local area. I want to move her to a school near home and i know my ex will be against this as it will mean he will actually have to get in his car and drive if he wants to see her during the week. What are my legal rights? He has her 2 nights every second weekend otherwise the rest of the time she lives with me. We are divorced and in the divorce papers just stated what the current arrangements were but never actually legally put in writing who makes decisions on what. Help! He is not a reasonable person
PS We are in Australia
I know that one of his arguments will be that I am the one that chose to live where i live. I repartnered 4 yrs ago and 3 yrs ago moved to where my daughter and I live. My partner owns his house and will never want to leave this area so us moving house is not an option. My ex has been in his home for 15 yrs so he would not move either. I do not see how he can blame me for this situation but I know that he will - he will say it is all my fault as I chose to live where I am living. To give you an idea - for 3 yrs I have driven many hrs each day to accomodate him yet when for a term he started meeting me half way 3 days a week instead of 2 he wanted to ask me for petrol money. Lol - don't like my chances of getting a reasonable response do you?
Tiss - I did not move my daughter away from her school or her father. I moved to a suburb half an hour away. And I moved before my daughter even started at school. She was 3 when I moved - a full two years before she started school. So sorry but this is not my fault - I did not move many miles away - I moved half an hour away. I am not choosing my partner above my child - how dare you. I have gone out of my way to make this easy for my ex until now. This is an ex who cannot be bothered to get in the car to see his child, who offers to pick me and his child up from the airport and drive us home but in return we pay him the money we would have had to pay a taxi driver so don't you dare say to me that I have taken my child away from her father.
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Tiss
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It's important for your daughter to spend time with her father. It's also important for your daughter to live near her school. You moved her away from both. Now you are choosing your "partner" over the needs of your daughter. I don't know what your legal rights are, but your moral responsibility is to cause the least amount of damage to your daughter as possible. Move back to your former town so your daughter can be near her dad, and also have school friends over. If your partner won't go, I guess you're not as important to him as you thought. Your daughter needs to come first. |
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A Nonny Mouse
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I would go aheard and enroll her in a nearby school.....having her enrolled in one so far away just for your ex's convenience wouldn't be such an issue but the child is paying for his convenience with long care rides, getting home very late and symptoms of emotional stress.....you are the custodial parent so I would just go ahead and if your ex doesn't like it let him present his complaints to the Courts...I can't see them forcing a child to endure any 'hardship' so he can be lazy about making an effort to see her.....good luck. |
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JESSICA R
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Can't you guys find a school halfway between? That way it's 1 1/2 hrs for you both? If you have primary custody and he wants to see her more, and it's not working for you or her, I'd switch it. Or you could maybe do home schooling? That way she stays with you for a half week or week and switches? If not, too bad for him! |
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cherryrosepetal
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sure your husband will be against you and you may fear the consequences but you need to put your daughter in the nearby school for her well being and the ex husband has to be told of the way your daughter feels when she is in the car.
i pray that it will work out for both of you.
If you can get a lawyer. |
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LIPPIE
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I don't know the laws there, but here(Iowa) if you have custody of her, she will go where you put her. That is a long time for a child to have to ride every day. I would put her in school near you, and he can make the effort to see her. I will tell you now, if he is like most men, he will not make the effort, and blame you for it. |
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