Do you think Im doing wrong and hurting my self for letting my husband have a lover.?

RUN phatgirl run	YOU should never let yourself be treated in such a manner! Sometimes the right thing to do and the easy thing to do are not the same thing!!!! It maybe easy to turn your head for now, but you are just being a glutton for punishment! It just hurts worse as the time passes. Sometimes you have to let go. If you love something set it free, If it comes back it's yours to keep, If it doesn't it was never meant to be. You are going to feel worse and worse as time passes. Wasting your youth on someone who doesn't value you as a person. Bottling up your anger, it will fester and bubble in to a poison that will eat you from the inside out. You need sometime apart to get your head togther. If you get back with him later that is your choice, but never let anyone treat you like second best!

lonewolf	lonely, Dear get out now before he brings home a disease. He has given his soul to saten by cheating on you. Baby you deserve better ! A loving man who is true and faithful.

Barb Outhere	Don't do it. He isn't willing to be with you alone, being totally selfish, and wanting to have a lover too, eventually it will eat you up inside until you feel like an empty shell of a woman. Don't let him do that to you, and don't do that to yourself. You may love him with all your heart, but you have to face the fact that HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU, or he would never be able to treat you that way. He doesn't love you if he wants to put you in such a lowly position, playing second fiddle to his affairs, and put you where you have to accept his cheating. To stop this, tell him that he has to make a choice - her or you - and be prepared to end your marriage if he won't end the affair. Let him know that you will fight for your right to part of the marriage property, and that you will not wait more than a week for his answer. I am so sorry, but he cannot respect you, if you won't respect yourself.

arielle	You have a low self esteem for allowing that. I know it sounds harsh, but it's not healthy. I know u love him, but u don't have to suffer anymore. Get your kids and move yourself out. In the end, he's not gonna like being alone. The other woman will never leave the husband, so your husband will crawl back to you. then you set the rules, if he wants you back he needs to cut any and all contact with that woman and concentrate on you and your kids, if you have any. If he says you nag or *****, is because you know what he's up to therefore it puts you in a bad mood....Suggest counceling for both of you and good luck, marriage is hard.....

Martha Y	obviously you do not have a happy marriage other wise you wouldn't be asking us get rid of your husband- and I'm sorry to say that you are confuse about you relation ship please get counseling and I hope you pride back and find a man that love you and appreciate you

poor2riches	Oh my. His girlfriend is married too. WOW can't wait to see who the daddy is. Won't her husband be a little surprised if it's not his. Hope they do a test. I would want to know if her husband knows about yours. I would also hope they want to find out who the daddy is. If you husband loves her so much he will push for the test and want to be part of this babies life. Chances are it will work itself out and you won't be the bad person. Some people always blame others when it's there doing. Doesn't matter now what he thinks of you for her. What do you feel for yourself. What do you want for you? Do you want to share this man when he treats you like this is he worth it. How are you going to handle it when the other guy finds out? Stop and think this out for yourself. Get some help if you know you can turn to someone so your not alone. I would hope you would let him figure it out for himself then he can't blame you for the mess he made.

jazy j	The problem is with you...If you need to allow your husband to have a lover then you don't need a husband...You need a psych-eval..Where is your self-esteem and self worth..

callawak2	Stay. Get you own thing on the side and don't worry about all that drama. Also, stop call her names. It doesn't sound like either of you are in the right on this one.

rob g	You just won 2008 Wife of the Year award! Just kidding. Time to get you some on the side too, I think.

Androway	Yikes. Please don't allow this. Like other people have cited that is a serious lack of self respect. If you have kids it will make the situation a little stickier but... my advise is to seek out her husband and if you have any attraction to him then proceed to do the deed and return the favor to them. It would make for a great Jerry Springer episode.

*tamaliatink**	You are pathetic.

Venomous Vixen	I think you are doing nothing BUT hurting yourself- you certainly don't deserve it and if he's not willing to drop her to be w/ his wife, he is NOT worth it. He can't have it both ways, it will only end up in heartache for all those involved. Usually I'm not to judgemental on here, but your hubby needs a kick in the a**. Don't tolerate this.

SRGirl	You cannot be serious. Have respect for yourself. When you start respecting yourself, then maybe others will learn to respect you too. Do not do this. You are smarter than that.

no religion know peace	sounds to me like you dont love yourself.....I am not even sure that you believe yourself.... letting him have it both ways??? only exposes you to more heart ache in the future.

*Almost ready*	He is using you as an excuse for his inability to control himself. Don't let him do it! You deserve better than that! All women do! In the long run you will feel lonely and sad if you let him have a lover on the side. You should tell him you will not put up with it. I suggest that if you two want to stay together to get marriage counseling.

EVEI	Are you Nuts? Have some dignity. Tell that SOB that he cannot have it both ways. Why don't you tell her husband about it I'm sure hes not going to feel the same. I would tell him to leave immediately. Don't make it easy on him to cheat and destroy your life, image, and moral. Even if it hurts, letting him know that you will not take it anymore will open his eyes to the new tough you. Get help, you will probably need some support. Ask God to help you and He will.

Princess Kitty	honey stand up and walk the hell out on him...he does not deserve u...that is bull crap that he expects u to stay with him..if he likes her not nagging so much then let him break her marrige up and be with her...STAND UP FOR URSELF and all us other women

Client 9-Valerie X	You might think you "love" this azzclown but he sure doesn't love you. Let him shack up with her.....its only a matter of time she starts "nagging" him too! Anyone can be on their best behavior when they aren't sharing REALITY with someone!

shoppinglikemadd	nope... i wouldnt do it... and it sounds like a huge mess and i would so be kicking him to the curve..

momrfg2003	That is not love if you allow him to have it both ways. Offer to go with him to counseling and get your marriage back on track if you still think it can. Or let him go to this other woman so he can realize what he had in the first place.

Tina	I can't believe you have no self respect! If you stay with him you deserve everything you get. Leave the creep!!! He knows he can do anything he wants because you will do nothing!!!!!!!!!!!

Shlane	Sweetie you are hurting yourself! find someone who LOVES you because he obviosuly doesnt....I would kick him out, you deserve better

KJ	how can you love anyone when you have no love for yourself? explain that to me please.