Getting married in a month, but messed up...?

Debra d	Maybe you should consider postponing the wedding. Wait until you can straighten things out. How good would it be to stand in front of a bunch of people and make promises, half hearted at best? I think it would make a much better start if your promises would be true and made with certainty.

ikram h	dear sister i hope im just elder than u coz im married already as to me & phycologically even if ur fiancee find u in a separate room with ur Ex's he shold not dought u coz love is over these all matters if ur fiancee dought u & dont beleive that u says, i dont hope ur life will be success love is blind & dont forget that marriage cannot be repeated!!! if he make same mistake in future afte rmarriage also what will happen to ur happince think twice & need to say that if someone dought u LITTLE OF LIFE it means more love!! but if he dought u continuesly it will be irritating for u please think NOT TWICE!!! LOT LOT & LOT about life bcoz im suffering already with this type of dought..... thanks a lot for reading all bye!!! take care ^ god bless u

Battery Operated Boyfriend	Your attitude is enough to guarantee this isn't going to work. You think he is over reacting. HA! He is sitting there wondering if you cheated on him. ONLY YOU know that you didn't. All he has is your word. Words are cheap. You are trying to make this a small problem but look around on this questions site and you will see that infidelity is the biggest of problems. Look, you fuked up and now you have to fix this. Do not make his feelings take a sideline to what you think he should be feeling. Oh and as for cutting ties. Duh! What a great guy your ex is.

ra.osiris	You should have already cut ties with your ex. I don't blame your fiancee at all. Obviously your ex still has feelings or at least thinks you'll let him hit it. "Thanks for tasting so good" is flirting. It isn't just some dumb line. He is trying to hit it. I wouldn't trust you. You haven't given him any reason to trust you. Love doesn't mean leaving all of your instincts aside. Why did you need to party with your ex to cut ties?

PrincessJ	wow. why in the world would you invite your ex? that's asking for trouble. How would you feel if your fiance went out with his ex. Then you sent him a text thanking him for coming out? sounds like you're trying to keep him hanging on. You deserve what you get out of this one.

elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom	well, here is what I think... you should not have invited your ex... I know, too late now, you already invited him there...but now hubby will think you will disrespect him in marraige, too... you, are to cut off all ties w/ exes as soon as you are engaged, and that's that... your future hubby thinks if you do this now, you will do it later, too... your ex, is trying to break you two up...don't let him and don't talk to him ever again... hubby thinks that whenever you go out w/ your friends you will be inviting exes to join... now, hubby feels like, why don't she ask me to join? he feels like he's just there to give you money, not to be your one and only =(... all I can say is show him all of our responses, and the question you put on here... and see what he says... sure, you can work this out, but, no more communication w/ any exes of any sort... marraige is sacred, and you need to cut off all ties now... good luck girl... it can work out if you both make it work =)

wonder	your ex is your ex for a reason loosing a relationship that's headed towards marriage for something that has already failed would be just plain stupid please for your own sake try to consider your fiance's feelings when you make decisions and the attitude "maybe we shouldn't be together anyway" sounds like you're having 2nd thoughts yourself

CC	Your words "but if he loved me he would believe me" don't seem a bit strange to you considering you invited your ex out knowing your fiancee wouldn't approve? I mean, if you really loved and respected him would you have done this? I'm really not judging you just don't think you anywhere near ready for such a commitment. Better you realize this now instead of you both (+kids) get really hurt and divorce later? Good luck whatever you decide to do

martinmagini	oh dear...I think you blew it by hanging around with your ex. Just be sure and learn a lesson from it. REmember, ex means ex! Good luck to you.

SEXY CRML	LISTEN GURL!!! YES U SHOULDNT HAVE WENT OUT WITH HIM BECUZ IT LOOKS LIKE U STILL HAVE SOME QUESTION OR FEELINGS ABOUT YA EX!!! TRY TO IMAGINE IF U SAW A TEXT HE SENT TO SOME CHICK THAT SAID U TASTE SO GOOD!! .... MMMH HHHM HAHA U KNOW U WOULD BE HOT GIRL!! BUT.... HE IS OVER REACTING A LITTLE JUST TELL HIM HOW U TRULY FEEL BOUT HIM AND LET HIM KNOW HE COULD MISS OUT ON A GOOD WOMAN BY ACTING LIKE A KID GROW UP!! ALSO U SHOULDNT HAVE TEXTE HIM 2 THANK HIM LIKE U LIKED WHAT HE DID...BUT,SOME WOMEN R OUT THERE EVERY NIGHT CHEATING AND STUFF AND THATS NOT WHAT U DID!

ladylady4470	I think he may need some space and time. He should trust you but, that trust was broken cause one you never told him you were going out with your x and even though you were with other friends it still hurt him. Maybe you could text your x and ask him why he lied and see what he text's back. Maybe he will confess to you that he lied and you can show that to your fiancee. Tell your fiancee you are sorry and you know you messed up and ask him to forgive you. That's all you can do. The rest is up to him.......good luck

gmconlan	You knew it wasn't right to invite him, yet you did it anyway. I would have some serious reservations about marrying you myself.

flowr99	screwed up.. how long have you been together?

Kisses an Wishes	What you did was not correct.Reverse roles.Put yourself in your fiancees shoes .What would you have done?How would you have felt if your fiancee did the same thing you did? Then see where you stand.You will have your own answer.

DIXIEMS	look sit him down and explain exactly what happened word for word and then tell him if he still feels the way that he feels now then maybe a wedding is not for ya'll because a relationship is about trust and without trust you have nothing no you shouldn't have been there but you can not change that now and face it if you wanted to be with the other guy you would be

Kristi	I think the fact that your ex tried to kiss you and you texted him the next day as if there was nothing wrong is a good indication that your committment level isn't there and maybe you shouldnt be getting married. If it had only been that he tried and you turned away, that would have been fine, but why weren't you appalled by this, and why did you try to contact him afterward? Sounds like you are trying to have your cake and eat it too. Its no wonder your ex is distant, wouldn't you be if the situation were reversed?

That NC Girl	Its a matter of trust and dealing with the male ego. Girl you were dirty and wrong for getting up with an ex like that, especially when you knew it would hurt your hubby to be. You definitely need to work this out before the wedding and if it can't be resolved then postpone the wedding or call it off all together, because this will definitely be a hindrance for progression in your relationship for awhile to come.

SuziChi	If your fiancee does not believe you over your ex, there is already a serious issue even before you are married. Marriages that have a trust issue surrounding them are failed marriages. If he does not trust you now, then he will not trust in a marriage; and the same problems around this issue will creep up again and again. The wedding should be postponed until he believes in you and your truth.

kimmyisahotbabe	Don't get married. If he's that jealous before you get married, married life will be a living hell. If I was addressing your fiance, I'd tell him, don't get married. If she cares so little about your feelings now, wait until you get married. It will be a living hell. Neither of you is mature enough for marriage.

killer	mariage is an instution. think of other institutions...prisons...schools...the church...stifling huh?

viki	i would not trust u after going out with an ex maybe he should move on

durtyboyz2005	Yea I wouldnt have took to kindly to it either because he thinks you cheated on him or were at least unfaithful because you didnt even let him know he was going to be there. So he took offense to that...and most guys out there know that love is a lie anyway because if you would have done something with your ex you wouldnt have told him anyway because of how you know it would have made him feel.

TxsWitchWAB	Um yeah you screwed up. How would you have felt if the shoe was on the other foot? You were way wrong to invite your ex, especially knowing that your finacee wouldn't like it. And the fact that your fiance saw the text message, instead of you telling him, makes it seem as if you were hiding it from him. Good luck.

Sherie D	I think you should hold off on getting married. You both kind of sound like you arent to sure. You didnt do anything wrong but obviously your ex wants to break up your relationship so he can have you. I would hold off on getting married and think about what you want! good luck

tabulator32	Not trying to be funny, but... If I saw text messages on my wife's phone that said: "Thanks for 'coming' out" and "Thanks for tasting so good". it would be over. Never hang out with your ex when you are engaged or married. Sorry. That's just asking for trouble.

Jason	You know anymore its kind of hard to just be friends or go out and do things with ex's and still be trusted especially with all of the shows on tv anymore that play the cheating angle and the confrontations. Guess you should try to get the other people with you to tell him what really went on and either he will forgive you or not. If you cant get past this issue then your right you and he should not be together because the next time some situation happens it will be all an issue again.

bgee2001ca	Maybe you should at least postpone the wedding until you sort this mess out, It beats the heck out of a miserable marriage, and a nasty divorce.

mel s	You were wrong. I don't know if I would be able to forgive my fiance if he did that. If you really think this was meant to be, then do everything you can to fix the problem, but......

oh_jo123	try talking to him and have the other people you went out with tell him the thruth that you never kissed him and that you love him and only him it might work out that way good luck