Getting pregnant to save marraige after affair?

DerKatSanJam	The question you should be asking is can you ever trust him again.

sweet.pjs1	No it won't help. And it won't make him change if he doesn't want to change. You got pregnant just to save your marriage? That's the most selfish thing anyone can do. I always thought my sister had her second child to try to save her marriage, and it did not work. They still divorced.

♥ Lips of Morphine ♥	Sadly to say I don't know the future. Though in my heart I want to tell you yes I can't. A child isn't a pawn that own can look to the save anything. If your husband has changed and you have accepted the affair and accepted your husband back, then you two have the job of making your relationship work, not the child you are carrying inside. The only two that know if your relationship will be saved is you and your husband. You have to make it work and he has to make it work. Marriage isn't 50 50 its 100 100 you and him have to give your 100% each to get past the bad and reach out and embrace the good and your future together. I'll be praying for you honey, good luck.

jaimieyawn21	I've been in your same shoes. Getting pregnant will NOT make the situation any better. Why would he change? Just because of a baby. He should change because of YOU not a baby. If he hasn't changed for your other kids why do you think he would change because of this one.

cypress9silver	That's tough. Even the most strong willed have a hard time dealing with betrayal.... He has to be committed to you. You have to truly forgive and never even hint at distrust towards him... The baby may delay a breakup. But if you two don't break the cheating down to the roots and rebuild....you may just end up another couple who divorces after the children are grown... Fix it now if you want to.

D@	U already hv young kids at home but he still cont' to hv affair outside so do u think by hving another "kid" will help? To me i dun think so....kids dun "tie" him down....as u can see....another kid oni keep u more busy n mean he will b more free n hv more excuses to b "alone"..... u hv to find other ways to work out on the marriage la....

Do I know you? ya right LoL	honey have your baby in peace get him for child support, and half of everything......move on he will cheat again its just a matter of time.....it will hurt im not saying its gonna be easy......but you don't deserve this.....think of you and your kids future...

nichols5072@sbcglobal.net	Hi, I am sorry that you are going through this first of all. No woman or man should. But getting pregnant in "hopes" that it will save your marriage is not fair to you, your unborn child or your husband. Im sure the lack of children wasnt the reason he had an affair. Focus on the WHY and change that. Just because you have children doesnt mean that hes going to stop and not do it again. You do not need a man in your life to raise your children. Think of them and how they will feel when they are older. How would you want THEM to act if in the same predicament?

Darby	It's not going to help and I doubt that he will change. You need to do some serious talking with your husband. Hopefully, one or both of you will get "fixed" after this baby. I don't think it's fair to continue bringing children into an unstable relationship.

hippiegirl672003	Denial will ruin your marriage and it isn't that babies job to save a broken marriage.Shame on you for bringing another child into such an awful relationship.grow up ,face the truth and FIX this,whether you stay together or not ALL your children deserve better.

mami	having a baby doesn't change anything, it will be nice to have a baby because just looking at your baby will make your day, but it can't take away what he did,,,, that will live with you forever,,, you may never be able to trust him the same way you use to again,,,,,,,,,,,,sad but true

littleflower_57	Getting pregnant and having a happy marriage are two very seperate issues. And if you think having a baby will help your marriage after an affair, you are only kidding yourself. What you both need to do is get counselling. Together or seperately, if necessary. But you do need help to heal this marriage....pronto.

Manera	It doesn't help, you should have concentrated on giving him whatever he was looking for with another woman, now you will be busy with a baby plus the other kids, and he will have time to wonder again. Good luck

KyLeth	Children don't solve problems, especially not affairs. As loveable as they are, they only add complications to life. Sadly, he most likely will not change, and if you decide to stay with him you will have to have that in the back of your mind to worry about for the rest of your lives together. Do you want your children's example of a couple to be you and your husband? If the answer is "no", be strong for them and head out to make a new life.

yoohoosusie	Ummm...you already answered your own question...if the children you two already have didn't change or stop him from cheating, then having another one won't either...I feel soooooo sorry for your children...God bless them!

yager19	I hope all works out for you. From my experiance, I don't hold much faith in your marrage lasting beyond the baby's first birthday.

Frank R	If he didn't change after the first kids, he just isn't going to change. You might as well enjoy it while you can.

?	There's a lot to work on though. You'll have a hard time trusting him. Go for counseling. A baby isn't going to solve everything.

bookworm7	So, basically he stopped because he got busted, not because he wanted to. I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound harsh, but once a cheater, always a cheater. Using kids to "save" a marriage rarely works.

hottie_n_ms69	Once a cheater always a cheater...no being pregnant isnt going to change things..you said you already have small children and if he didnt care enough about what his actions were going to cause those children to go through then why would he care about another one on the way! Think about what you doing, because your setting bad examples for your children

blahhboo	Since you aready have young kids i dont think that will help much, because then that would have help earlier.

Chee	If you already have children and he had an affair, how will having another one change things?

kittyrogers	No, this will not cure his wandering eye. Obviously, if it hasn't stopped him before (you say you already have kids) then why would he stop now? Dear, I would think long and hard about staying with this loser, as he will spend his life having affairs. Those kind ALWAYS do!

*PKitty**	unfortunately this wasnt the best thing you could have done

Mr Smarty Pants	Cold Hard Truth: That's a stupid reason to get pregnant.

MeOw	children shouldn't be born with a job! you can't leave it up to your kid to keep you and your man together

mbd	it might. the problem is him, not u.

albuff	Always a bad idea for the obvious reasons.

FIONEX	Probably won't change a thing if not make it worse. Once a cheater always a cheater?