HELPPP!! I dont know what to do anymore about husband....?

Live_For_Today	He probably does that because he can't face you, so why is it he can't face you?. Is it because he is still playing up behind your back?. I think it might be time for both of you to move on unfortunately.

William B	from the way you described it, it really seems to me that he is embaressed and ashamed. we are all human and make mistakes, its hard for some of us to come to terms with our wrong doings. what happened then is in the past and neither of you can change it. you really love him or you wouldnt still be with him, and after so much time we are able to forgive and forget. have you in your heart forgiven him? even if you havent but you want to be with him. "if it were me"-in your shoes..i would go to my spouse and sit them down and say "honey,please dont run..i love you and i forgive you..its in the past and we are better now.." if that incident hasnt happened again and its been a long time. if you really love him and want it to work, you have to let it go and move on. ive never cheated, so im not making light of what he done. but life is too short and love is too precious. hope this helps! good luck!

Virginia B (John 16:33)	You need to tell your counsellor about how he is avoiding you and get their suggestions on how to handle the situation. Since you've just started counselling, it may be that he hasn't had enough time to sort through everything himself, much less talk to you about it.

icy k	Chill out!!!!!!!!! Trust goes along way in relationships no mttr wht & wht u hav to remember is tht hes now ur husband nt ur fiance yaaaaaaa! anthr thing is he fessed up & tho it ws too late but its bettr late than neva......it took courage for him to tell u & hes goin thru the motions nw dealing with a counsellor nw he thinks the whle wrld knws evn tho he only told u eh? Giv urself time out & if i ws U i really wud consider & b thnkful for wht u hav now than b4...it tkes 2 hearts & 2 souls to bcome one in working & solving probs out...evn if ths time he doesnt want to talk thn giv him tht & for U try to let it go witout doubt tht he mite do it agn...let him learn frm his mistakes & rembr no one is perfect evn if married. Love is hard find these days so i ask u.. is it worth it to wana knw why? or is it bettr knwing he chose U to his wife not her. byeeeeee

aque_fairy	Stay with the counseling and talk about it there. I wouldn't try to talk about it at home unless you are told to do so. Because he might not feel like its a safe zone. If he keeps running away from the problem or other problems then you need to deal with the childish behavior..

darfy1	According to the book "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars", males like to withdraw and think things over before discussing. They are do-ers, not emotionally driven. He probably is dealing with his own shame issues about this whole thing. He doesn't mean to hurt you, or shut you out. He just needs to process what he has learned before he can talk to you about it. You should consider both of you going to individual counseling - him for his shame issues and to get at the root of why he cheated, and you for how to deal with the anger you have over his cheating and lying. I cannot imagine that you married him knowing that he cheats and lies, but then, you didn't really know for sure that he was lying at the time. Give him space - at least a day - before trying to hash out a therapy session. Heck, make date night the following night. Go to dinner and have a long talk on neutral territory. Do NOT do this in the bedroom. Keep all anger, resentment and issues out of there - it can kill your love life. You also may want to ask the therapist his/her recommendations for your hashing-out what is brought up in session.

sweetpicker	ask him the next time you have a session. he may think you are just trying to continue to make him feel guilty. He has agreed to counciling sessions which means he wants to keep the marriage going. You may have to let it go.

retmil	Sounds as if you married a "boy", not a man! He must think he is allowed to continue to sow his wild oats before during and after marriage. Might consider an annulment. Hope there aren't any children (other than your husband) involved!

pooh	stop naggin when hes ready he will talk tell the counseler about your naggun and controlling spirit he will just get fed up walk out the door and keep going i would

Racer	It would appear to me that he is not very interested in keeping your relationship together. The idea behind co-councelling is to generate talking together. I have to wonder if this affair isn't still going on, or perhaps another one is. I think that any man who does not want to work through the trouble spots in his marriage, is not worth saving.

nancy c	by leaving when Ur asking questions/ talking/harassing him after counselling says he is going just to keep u happy. But its obviously not working. why CANT YOU JUST LET IT GO?

gretchen	If you don't have any kids get rid of him (divorce) he probably is hiding more than you think thats why he doesn't want to talk about it. If you have kids get rid of him but make sure he pays support otherwise stay with him till you find someone else He is a LOSER

gypsy g	bring this up at your next session.

brandyswilkes	It would appear he would still like to make it work since he's going to counseling. However, it does seem as though he's doing so for appearance sake, and not because he truly wants to make it work. And while you are in your sessions do you tell him that you are able to forgive and when you get home he gets his nose rubbed in it? Next time you are in a session you should mention this.

the_eternal_red_rose	maybe his guilt is catching up to him and he can't face you due to the fact he knows he hurt you and may feel like a real *** for doing so,if you really want to work it out,give him time to himself,although you should be the one running from him,not vice versa,you have'nt done anything wrong,tell the counsellor about this behaviour as she may be able to offer suggestions as to why he's behaving in this way.

katie	discuss it in therpay and see what therapist says but you need to be able to get him to realize the importance of talking about things so you guys can heal from it and all......you cant have a good marriage if you cant talk so he needs to know you wont judge him for the past and you will listen and try and understand and he in turns needs to open up and share and then once its done its done, if he clearly tells you something about current or past dont drag it out of yap on about it or he will never want to say anything b/c he wont want to deal with hearing about it all the time if you get what i mean.

JV	He sounds like a big cry baby, Kick him out, make him realize what he has got. A wonderful wife who loves him and wants to make this marrige work.

Bryce	If he doesn't want to communicate you're kind of up the creek. I hate to suggest an ultimatum, coz most people don't react well to them, but he needs to talk to you about all this. More counseling, perhaps with a different counselor, might be good, but from what you're saying, I doubt he'd go. Good luck!

Empress1	Not to make your life any harder, but did it ever dawn on you that he might still be cheating on you with this person? If he's in counseling with you to help deal with this issue, there is no reason for him to be ignoring you and acting all weird. Clearly he's trying to make you feel bad for his mistake by running away every time you want to talk...what else is he hiding from you? I can't imagine what you're going through but my suggestion is a) get yourself tested and b) get yourself a good lawyer, just in case.

Mrs.G-unit	There is nothing you can do with this childish behavior, I mean you taken him to the fountain, now its up to him to drink the water. Try bringing this up with the counselor and see what she/he suggests.

Ava	If you go to counseling together, discuss it there. Forget about it when you get home. It will only cause more problems.

Sugar Pie	Keep going to counseling, even if by yourself. Apparently he doesn't have as much of a problem w/ having a pre-marital fling as you have with it.

Vix	What does the counselor say? I think that's important here. One option is that he's still really embarrassed about what he did and how he hurt you so he'd rather try to put it behind and forget about it. Sometimes, when you love someone so much, it hurts a lot knowing that you hurt them, so he might not be happy reliving this in counseling.

Ruth C	what do you want to do? Do you want to live with a cheater who doesn't value you or your opinions? You have to make a choice that only you can make. He isn't going to change and doesn't want to.

david s	you need to whip his a-- for him and he will love you forever!! lol!!

gg	divorce him. He will not change. This will open up your life to let a man in who will treat you correctly.

dirt bike babe	some things are better left unsaid. the past is the past. as long as hes still not having an affair. dont bother. leave the past as it is

angelove<3	you can do better

Roland'sMommy	Pack up his stuff and put it on the front yard with the locks changed. He'll get the hint that his behavior isn't acceptable.